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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by kitkat33 on October 10, 2003, at 15:42:51
Hi,
This is the first place I have seen information on transference. I have a question. I have been having alot of problems with my therapist. I kind of melted down to her awhile back, I lost my job etc, had some strong "can't take it anymore" feelings and was trying to reach out for help, I ended up calling one of those anonymous phone numbers. I have some issues right now. I felt she came back with blaming me for her lack of response. To make a long story short, I called her in a crisis, and she didn't call me back. I tried to talk to her after this, since, I felt like she didn't really care about my life. She stated she didn't respond right away, because when I first started going to her I responded badly to her when she had hung up on me when I was changing an appointment, another client walked in and she said "I have to go" and hung up. I tried to talk to her at the time and she at that point threw it back on me too. She keeps saying it's transference. Recently, she gave me her email address(which I thought was really nice), so I tried emailing her. I called and left her a message that I was sending her an email about what was going on. I thought it was a good way to express my feelings of despair since I basically had noone to talk to without taking up her time and bothering her. She is really busy and booked fully. A week later at my next appointment, she stated she didn't read the email and besides, I had said it was not that important. I got mad and she said that it was transference, that I had no right to be upset. I felt even more like I am the bottom of the client barrel. All I was looking for was an apology. Is this transference, she says I am treating her like my mother treated me, that it's all transference, and I say to her, If I can't call her in a crisis what am doing anyway. I don't see it at all and when I try to talk to her, she says I am invalidating her. Anyone had this experience. Now mind you I am a difficult client, very insecure, ptsd, etc, but I feel she has some part in this relationship too. I feel like she's invalidating me, not the way she sees it at all.
Totally confused!
Posted by karen_kay on October 10, 2003, at 16:20:41
In reply to How do you know it's transference!, posted by kitkat33 on October 10, 2003, at 15:42:51
I think that you should try to talk to her and tell her that you feel like she is abandoning you when you feel that you are having a crisis in your life. At the same time, you should evaluate the way that you are treating her. Do you feel that you are acting out the feelings of frustration that you have towards your mother, as she said? The best way to resolve this is to have an open line of communication with your therapist. Good luck hun.
Posted by kitkat33 on October 10, 2003, at 16:28:30
In reply to Re: How do you know it's transference!, posted by karen_kay on October 10, 2003, at 16:20:41
Thanks for the reply, I know I sound goofy with it, and that's why I hesitated really talking to anyone about this issue. Whenever I bring anything up to her that might at all relate to our work together/relationship, she get's almost defensive and throws it back onto to me. I really like her, I just felt like she has let me down. If I say this to her, she will say again it's transference, that she shouldn't be that important. oh well. Thanks for the input, I know it sounds crazy.
Posted by Dinah on October 10, 2003, at 17:46:21
In reply to How do you know it's transference!, posted by kitkat33 on October 10, 2003, at 15:42:51
It's consultation time. The situation sounds sufficiently difficult that an outside opinion would be helpful. I did a consultation once, and it really helped.
Why don't you try to set something up. Let your therapist know you'd like a third party consultation.
Posted by karen_kay on October 10, 2003, at 17:49:28
In reply to Re: How do you know it's transference!, posted by kitkat33 on October 10, 2003, at 16:28:30
She should know that as your therapist, she is an important part of your life right now. She should also be well informed on how to handle feelings of transference if this is the case. Again, I suggest you talk to her aobut how you are feeling.
Posted by kitkat33 on October 10, 2003, at 17:53:47
In reply to Re: How do you know it's transference!, posted by karen_kay on October 10, 2003, at 17:49:28
Thanks, I am going to try talking to her again. If I feel it's not working, I am going to ask her if we could do a counsultation.
Posted by fallsfall on October 11, 2003, at 1:54:13
In reply to Re: How do you know it's transference!, posted by kitkat33 on October 10, 2003, at 17:53:47
This is the end of the thread.
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