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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 6 of 6. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by fallsfall on September 24, 2003, at 7:29:04
My mother doesn't understand emotions - she's really good with logistical and intellectual things, but she hasn't a clue about emotions. So I have always felt that she is "disengaged". My old therapist was wonderful for 7 years, but then she seemed to step back, be less active, understand less. She seemed to disengage. This was incredibly painful for me. I have a new therapist, and he and I are starting to work on the pain with the old therapist.
I do a bit (OK, a lot) of psychology reading and I believe that what I need to do is "work through" the issue that I have with my old therapist. Can anyone explain how one "works through" an issue? And why it helps? Also, I usually see the term "work through" associated with dealing with feelings in the transference. Can it also be used to deal with external problems? (My issue with my old therapist may have been transference, but it isn't now an issue in the transference with my current therapist)
I am so confused...
Posted by Dinah on September 24, 2003, at 9:30:21
In reply to Working Through, posted by fallsfall on September 24, 2003, at 7:29:04
I suspect that working through isn't that much different than exposure in behavior therapy combined with some cognitive reframing.
All those feelings were pushed aside as a child. It wasn't safe to think too much about them. When you push aside feelings they gain power. They also subtly influence how we react to everything else in our life.
In therapy, you understand how your current behavior is shaped by your past experiences which helps you recognize it while it's happening. And hopefully change your reactions (that one is more difficult I think).
Plus by talking about your mother, what she did, and how you felt, you release the taboo on those thoughts and feelings and eventually they lose their power. You learn to accept what was and mourn what you lost.
Or at least that's my understanding. It may not be correct.
On the other hand, I don't think those things help everything. Certain inborn personality traits and mental illnesses will probably continue to cause problems even with therapy. Because we're not all nurture any more than we're all nature. So for those things, therapy just helps us cope.
Posted by fallsfall on September 24, 2003, at 16:07:47
In reply to Re: Working Through, posted by Dinah on September 24, 2003, at 9:30:21
Posted by deirdrehbrt on September 24, 2003, at 23:10:55
In reply to Working Through, posted by fallsfall on September 24, 2003, at 7:29:04
Fallsfall,
I think that 'working through' a problem in psychotherapy is much like working through any problem. In school, we could complete a math problem, but to completely work the problem through was to check our work, insuring that we not only had the correct answer, but that we understood how we got there.In therapy, maybe it's looking at the problem or issue, and doing what it takes to understand where we are, and how we got there. Then, having checked the work, we can reconstruct the parts that caused problems. If we realize that we respond to something badly, we can look at it, find out why, and learn how to respond in a more healthy way.
That's how I interpret 'working through'. I don't very much like 'working through'. It's hard. It's hard to know that I've been doing things wrongly for nearly all of my life. I have a friend though who reminds me that all of this work is important, and worth it. I think that's good advice for everybody.
Good luck,
Dee.
Posted by noa on September 25, 2003, at 20:06:58
In reply to Working Through, posted by fallsfall on September 24, 2003, at 7:29:04
Not an issue with the current therapist, but it is a good issue for therapy, I think. I think you should bring it up in therapy. It is like an old wound that hasn't healed properly and you need help from the healer you are currently working with to tend to the old wound.
Posted by noa on September 25, 2003, at 20:09:54
In reply to Re: Working Through, posted by deirdrehbrt on September 24, 2003, at 23:10:55
For me, I think "working through" has been a process of repeatedly revisiting the same themes or issues as they come up in different ways in life. To keep to the math metaphor, perhaps it is like trying out new problems and applications for the same or similar concepts--you see the concepts in a slightly different way with the new way of applying them and with more and more practice problems.
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