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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 5 of 5. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by TF on September 21, 2003, at 17:34:53
Hi,
For the past year or so, I've noticed a very drastic change in my mental capacity. I have a very short attention span, so I'll at least try to keep this coherent, though the way I thread sentences and paragraphs together might seem confusing. Also, my memory is a little fragmented, so I may list things as happening in the incorrect chronological order. ALso, my mental fatigue makes it hard to write for any length of time, so bear with me... It's bound to get ugly toward the end. If you want any clarification or for me to fill in blanks, just ask. I'll prolly update this later when I'm at full capacity.
First some personal info: I'm 22 and haven't yet gone to college full time. I've been in and out of jobs for the three and a half years that I've been out of high school (the longest I've held onto a single job was from the fall of 2000 to february of 2001). DUring that time I got into creative writing, and found that I was pretty good at it. My skill improved over time, but after I lost my first job, My interest deteriorated (which, I guess, is understandable, since an unbalanced lifestyle can lead to burnout). Gradually, I became less and less involved in writing, to the point where it was difficult to start sentences and paragraphs, or to thread written thoughts together. I even had some trouble reading other peoples' writing.
But, as I mentioned, the real drop in my mental capacity didn't come until this past year, last fall to be exact. It started with what I think were a series of panic attacks. At first I thought it was something with my heart or lungs, where I would get palpatations just from lying down and trying to go to sleep. Eventually they got so bad that when I would feel myself sinking into sleep, I would force myself awake, thinking I was going to die. So I went crazy researching on the internet and looking for my symptoms, thinking I had everything from west nile virus, and testicular cancer, to a thyroid disorder.
I went to the doctor to rule all of these out, and find out a possible cause, but after a few tests to rule out certain causes, they passed me off as psychosomatic. For a few weeks after that, things were fine.
One night, when I was sitting at the computer, I had an electric flash dart across my field of vision, which almost felt like a light bulb exploding next to my face. For some reason I felt very sick, and mentally fatigued. The next few weeks my senses were dominated by terrible headaches. Not the kind where you get a sharp pain or a dull throbbing, but feeling as though my brain was simmering in certain parts. I would get nausious and dizzy during these headaches (and sometimes when the headaches weren't there) My coordination began to decline, as well as my focus and ability for abstract thinking.
I started researching my symptoms on the internet again, and new conditions popped up: Lyme disease, CSF leak (I had a drainage at the back of my throat), colloidal cyst, etc....
I went to the doctor again but, short of giving me an mri or other scan, she couldn't really tell me anything difinitive (I didn't have insurance, so going to a nuerologist wasn't an option). All she did was give me a perscription for medication that is made to suppress cluster headaches (which is the type that she said I had).
After a month or two and no improvement, I began having serious trouble reading and comprehending things that were once intuitive for me. It's like I couldn't activate my internal movie projector... I dunno, that's the best way I can describe it. So I went back, and she did another half-baked checkup, taking my blood pressure and other things. When I asked if it might be anxiety she just shrugged, and offered to give me some free samples of zoloft to see if it helped.
I had been diagnosed with social anxiety disorder back when I was in my senior year of High school, and took prozac following my graduation. It (the prozac) actually helped in preventing destructive and distracting thoughts from entering my mind. It's residual effects (Since I came off it after a few weeks of getting my first job) probably helped me keep the first job longer than I had any other since. But I don't want to tangenize too much... I'll let you know about my experiences with the job, prozac and late high school some other time.
The zoloft helped a bit with my confidence problems, but not with the things that were bothering me (mental fog, loss of attention span, lost ability to recover memories/words and poor reaction time). I came off the zoloft after a few weeks (cold turkey, but I hadn't been on too long, though I realise now that it was a mistake.) By christmas I felt my mind had truly croaked, and I would never be as sharp, observant, and witty as I was before. I could barely read without hitting a mental block.
And that's where I pretty much am right now, still not sure what to do. This condition has brought my life to a standstill, though I know I should look for another job. I just don't feel like humiliating myself with my own stupidity and sort of 'misrepresenting' myself.
Posted by fallsfall on September 21, 2003, at 20:39:55
In reply to Notable decrease in intelligence in the past year, posted by TF on September 21, 2003, at 17:34:53
I wish you could see a neurologist...
You might try going back on Prozac instead of the Zoloft. Antidepressants are not all alike. Perhaps the Prozac would help your cognitive problems more.
I am a firm believer in that if you know an AD that works, use it (I wish I had meds that would work).
It sounds like you should try to get someone in the "know" to listen to your history. Good luck.
Posted by Pfinstegg on September 21, 2003, at 22:21:17
In reply to Re: Notable decrease in intelligence in the past year » TF, posted by fallsfall on September 21, 2003, at 20:39:55
Hi.. I'm so sorry to hear what a difficult time you have been having. To me, it sounds as though depression may be causing what feels like a loss of intelligence. I would bet that your intelligence is just as it always was, but when you are really depressed, it can be impossible to concentrate, remember, problem-solve, etc. You are very young, and I do think it would be very important to get diagnosed by a very good psychiatrist- and to see a neurologist to rule out any neurological causes. Getting on medication quickly, if you are depressed, is important in giving you a better chance for recovery, and in protecting your brain from the physical changes which can occur with serious depression.
I realize that you don't have any insurance right now. Is there a possibility of getting help from your family, or perhaps of taking one college course and becoming eligible for university health services?
Pfinstegg
Posted by ridesredhorses on September 23, 2003, at 8:34:38
In reply to Notable decrease in intelligence in the past year, posted by TF on September 21, 2003, at 17:34:53
Hi TF,
I attempted to answer you yesterday, but must have done something wrong...which speaks to your issue since yesterday was a pretty rough day for me, and I made alot of mistakes with very common, simple things. I seriously doubt that you have lost any 'intelligence' at all. Not a bit. You do sound very depressed. When my depression is at its worst, I can't read, spell, walk, I can't even flush the toilet without trouble. My own test has come to be a crossword puzzle. I love puzzles, and on a good day, I do the NYT, in ink, and I limit myself to 12 minutes. Some days, even when I'm not totally aware of being 'under,' as I call it, I find that the clues mean nothing to me. It is as if they are not in English. I used to tell myself I was stupid and that my IQ was not stable...well, I just deal with depression every day. I am on meds, and most days, I do very well. But sometimes, I'm just foggy. I try not to become anxious, but that attempt sometimes fails, too.
Taking a class so as to have access to school medical services is a wonderful idea. Don't worry if you don't do well in the class. That won't be the objective for a while. All sorts of services are available if you need financial assistance. Unfortunately, they are not necessarily set up to be accessed by folks who are foggy. But there are those who can help. And it is in no way embarrassing to ask for help. We all are here to help each other. Good luck. I am 50+, and I am just now getting a handle on this. If I had sought help at 22, good lord, I could have saved myself so much grief. God bless. Let us know how you do, please.
Red
Posted by TF on September 23, 2003, at 17:38:07
In reply to Re: Notable decrease in intelligence in the past year, posted by ridesredhorses on September 23, 2003, at 8:34:38
Thanks for the advice all... Well, I'm going for a job interview tommorow, so hopefully that'll turn out alright, even though I'm not sure I won't have a freak out and quit (if I get it). Until I can get a diagnosis and a perscription from a doctor, I'm gonna look into getting some Min-chex. I heard somewhere that it helps anxiety.
Can anyone relate to this? The scariest thing for me, sometimes, is not remembering what I was like before all this started happening, and losing sight of what I was capable of. It's not like I have days where things are even close to normal... I have upward and downward slopes in my performance, but overall I never go above a certain point (the point that I was at over a year ago). I can't wrap my mind around an idea or problem, and my thinking isn't automatic. I have to initiate every, little thought that runs through my mind. Everything that used to come easy to me seems so alien. For example, sometimes it seems remarkable to me that anyone might remember a complete text or verse of anything in verbatum, or something they saw.
This is the end of the thread.
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