![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 15 of 15. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Dinah on July 18, 2003, at 14:59:03
I HATE IT. I HATE IT. I HATE IT. I HATE IT. I HATE IT. I HATE IT. I HATE IT. I HATE IT. I HATE IT. I HATE IT. I HATE IT. I HATE IT. I HATE IT. I HATE IT.
But I don't hate it enough to quit seeing him.
It's hard to get to. It's expensive and difficult to park. There are people *everywhere*. I'm terrified I'm going to run over one. I have this OCD fear of pedestrians. The window slopes from the floor out at an angle, so I keep wanting to jump (14th floor). You can hear everything said in the hall, ergo I assume the opposite is also true. It smells funny.
I HATE IT. I HATE IT. I HATE IT. I HATE IT. I HATE IT. I HATE IT. I HATE IT. I HATE IT. I HATE IT. I HATE IT. I HATE IT.
Posted by Dinah on July 18, 2003, at 15:07:50
In reply to The new office, posted by Dinah on July 18, 2003, at 14:59:03
Posted by Penny on July 18, 2003, at 15:38:55
In reply to The new office, posted by Dinah on July 18, 2003, at 14:59:03
>The window slopes from the floor out at an angle, so I keep wanting to jump (14th floor).
I'm having trouble picturing this, please forgive me...but the 14th floor is pretty high in the air. I don't have a fear of heights or anything, but I think I would have a problem with therapy in a room with a big window that high up. Tell me that you are sitting with your back to the window and not facing it...
> You can hear everything said in the hall, ergo I assume the opposite is also true.That always worries me. My therapist's office suite is quite small, with (I think) four private offices and a shared one, and I always get a little freaked out about what you can hear. The worst thing - when someone goes in the bathroom, which is right beside her office, you can hear them pee. I hate that. It freaks me out, even though I try to pretend I can't hear it. And I wonder what they can hear from in there...
> It smells funny.
You never realize how important the smell of a place is until you go to a different place that is supposed to provide the same comfort but has a different smell. It was one of the first things I noticed about my therapist's office - not that it smells bad or anything, just different from my therapist's office in Charlotte. Now, though, I'm used to it.
I'm sorry this has been so hard for you. Did you address any of this with him?
Posted by fallsfall on July 18, 2003, at 16:36:28
In reply to The new office, posted by Dinah on July 18, 2003, at 14:59:03
Dinah,
Change is hard enough. Change when the "new" doesn't quite match up to the "old" is really hard. I'm sorry. You said that it would be hard, and it is.
My original therapist moved 3 or 4 years ago. Less than a mile away, so I didn't have to deal with country vs. city. It was strange at first, but she brought her chairs - that was helpful. It really didn't take very long until I felt comfortable in the new office. She was the same, just the walls were different.
I hope that it doesn't take too long for you to feel comfortable. Focus on him and what you are doing and maybe the background will become... background. The streets should get more familiar, too, so you can put more of your attention on the pedestrians.
My friend's therapist has a "white noise" box that she puts between her door and the waiting chairs if someone is going to be there. It was pretty effective. It needs to go outside of the office, though, so I don't know if that would be practical.
Just keep telling yourself: I have forever therapy, I have forever therapy.
Posted by noa on July 18, 2003, at 19:13:54
In reply to Re: The new office » Dinah, posted by fallsfall on July 18, 2003, at 16:36:28
Dinah, you're right--it sounds too corporate or something.
You might get used to a lot of it, but you should address the sound issue. He needs to put sound proofing in, or use sound screens (white noise)--placed in the hallway, so they cannot hear you (if you place them inside, it helps for you not hearing them but they can still hear you). Maybe you need one inside and one outside. But he probably needs to get soundproofing anyway.
I'm sorry you have to change offices. I have a feeling I would miss the old one too, in this case.
Posted by judy1 on July 18, 2003, at 21:02:02
In reply to The new office, posted by Dinah on July 18, 2003, at 14:59:03
oh it sounds horible, I'm so sorry Dinah. Does he have the same furniture at least? or artwork? maybe you can bring an air freshener? my surroundings are so critical to me (and I'm sure to anyone who sees a therapist), I would really speak to him so some changes cam be made to make it more comfortable for you. is this his only office? I ask because I had a shrink with 2- one that was ground floor which I had to go to after an injury. I hope he gets the soundproofing like noa suggested- that is really critical. best of luck- judy
Posted by Dinah on July 19, 2003, at 9:38:17
In reply to Re: The new office » Dinah, posted by Penny on July 18, 2003, at 15:38:55
I've talked to him about all of it. He knows I'm not a happy camper.
The window is hard to explain, but it looks as if you could either walk out onto it, or at least crawl out onto it. He assures me the glass is too hard to break, and that there is a ledge two floors down, even if I can't see it. But asks that if I feel like I'm going to act on my urge to jump to please let him know.
Come to think of it, the smell may be more in the waiting room and halls than it is in his room. It smells like a lot of people's lunches, but not in a good way. I have a renewed respect for how restaurants must plan their menus to smell good together.
(That restroom thing must be rough.)
Posted by Dinah on July 19, 2003, at 10:06:26
In reply to Re: The new office » Dinah, posted by fallsfall on July 18, 2003, at 16:36:28
Ah hah! So that's why he says he can't use a white noise machine. It's one of those executive suites, so he can't put anything outside his office. And if it wouldn't work inside the office, that explains it.
He offered to put the radio on, but I think I would find that distracting.
The really funny part is that he said he didn't notice the sound until I mentioned it. He even told his wife that the room was pretty sound proof. I'm not sure he believed me until I stopped what I was saying each time and turned toward the source of the noise. Then he seemed kind of embarassed.
I'm going to ask him if I can bring my husband during one of my sessions to listen outside the door and see what he can hear. My husband has agreed. I am a soft speaker, and I don't think he speaks loudly, but still.....
Posted by Dinah on July 19, 2003, at 10:09:25
In reply to Re: The new office, posted by noa on July 18, 2003, at 19:13:54
Corporate - that's exactly what it feels like. It's one of those executive suites in the middle of downtown. Very upscale and very corporate. I'm neither, and apart from the traffic, the pedestrians, the parking, et al I also feel really out of place. Like the country mouse that wandered into the city. Sigh.
I told him it would be a great office if he wanted to do life coaching. :(
Posted by Dinah on July 19, 2003, at 10:13:18
In reply to Re: The new office » Dinah, posted by judy1 on July 18, 2003, at 21:02:02
He did bring most everything from his old office except the desk. So that is nice. The artwork isn't up yet, but it will be.
There is an alternative office he can use. And he's told me it's important to him that I feel comfortable, and that I stay on as his client. But the alternate office is one he rents from another therapist for a fee per session. I'm afraid he'd resent having to pay the fee, and I'm also afraid his availability would be limited since he'd have to travel there, and I also assume he'd have to coordinate it with the other therapist. I don't think I want my therapist resenting me. I'd rather resent him. (grin)
At any rate, I've promised to give it a while and see if I can't get comfortable there. If I can't we'll revisit the possibility of using the other office.
Posted by noa on July 19, 2003, at 15:20:59
In reply to Re: The new office » noa, posted by Dinah on July 19, 2003, at 10:09:25
Why did he move there?
Posted by Dinah on July 19, 2003, at 15:43:35
In reply to Re: The new office, posted by noa on July 19, 2003, at 15:20:59
His old clinic closed. As to why downtown? I dunno. I think he said a large number of his clients work there and are happy to be able to have his office so close. His wife works nearby so he can lunch and stuff with her I guess. He seems rather upwardly mobile. Perhaps he wishes for a large pool of overly stressed executives? All just guesses.
All he said was that he liked the space and felt comfortable there. And when I asked what his other clients felt about it he said that many of them worked downtown and liked it. And I know his wife works nearby. The rest in conjecture, and perhaps unkind conjecture. :(
Posted by Dinah on July 19, 2003, at 20:41:46
In reply to Re: The new office, posted by Dinah on July 19, 2003, at 15:43:35
'Twas unkind, and a poor way to repay his many kindnesses. I suppose I still have more than a bit of lingering resentment about his choice of location.
Posted by fallsfall on July 19, 2003, at 22:14:24
In reply to Re: The new office, posted by Dinah on July 19, 2003, at 20:41:46
Try to be patient and give it a little time. I know it doesn't feel right now, but maybe it can feel acceptable later. Change is hard (harder for some of us than for others). But the world doesn't stand still.
And we probably don't want it to.
Posted by judy1 on July 21, 2003, at 11:13:57
In reply to Re: The new office » judy1, posted by Dinah on July 19, 2003, at 10:13:18
If this new office doesn't work out, I truly hope you accept his offer of using the other one. I'm sure he wouldn't have extended such an offer if he didn't mean it. I feel like a hypocrite here (because I tend to feel the same way as you in these situations), but I'm certain he won't resent you. I write that because in a similar situation I asked that question of a therapist and he was absolutely astounded that I would even think that.
good luck with everything- judy
This is the end of the thread.
Psycho-Babble Psychology | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.