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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 11 of 11. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Eddie Sylvano on February 24, 2003, at 11:57:45
Every time I go on antidepressants, I'm consistantly surprised to discover (after a couple weeks), how bad I was really feeling. Depression comes on so gradually for me that it's like a slow layer of dust forming on the TV screen. You don't notice how dirty it was until you wipe off a section. Same thing here. Beyond that, I find it remarkable that such a feeling is always a rediscovery. It's as if depression erases your memory of what it was ever even like to feel "good." All you're aware of is how you've felt since the depression, so the concept of happy is more of an ideal than an actual memory. Anyone else identify with this experience?
Posted by hok on February 24, 2003, at 12:33:37
In reply to The remarkable feat of depression, posted by Eddie Sylvano on February 24, 2003, at 11:57:45
Posted by brainychick on February 24, 2003, at 13:28:34
In reply to The remarkable feat of depression, posted by Eddie Sylvano on February 24, 2003, at 11:57:45
to eddie-thats how depression works. you never see it coming. and while in the grasp of depression-happy is an abstract idea.
Posted by bozeman on February 24, 2003, at 20:20:02
In reply to The remarkable feat of depression, posted by Eddie Sylvano on February 24, 2003, at 11:57:45
Posted by IsoM on February 25, 2003, at 19:37:47
In reply to The remarkable feat of depression, posted by Eddie Sylvano on February 24, 2003, at 11:57:45
Eddie, I very much remember what happiness is like when I'm depressed. But while I remember it, I feel like I was deluded into thinking there's any good in the world. I feel very cynical when depressed & even though I know my happiness was real, I feel like I was just some giddy fool to think so. I honestly feel ashamed of how I acted when happy - like some fool telling jokes at a funeral.
It's strange as I can look at things the same way & come to the same conclusions when depressed or content, but either I feel nothing for anything or extremely bitter & angry,(when depressed) - or I feel full emotions of happiness or sadness (when content).
Posted by Tabitha on February 26, 2003, at 0:53:34
In reply to Re: The remarkable feat of depression » Eddie Sylvano, posted by IsoM on February 25, 2003, at 19:37:47
another remarkable thing is, the early stages of depression always feel good to me. it blunts all the unpleasant emotions.
Posted by WorryGirl on February 26, 2003, at 17:25:38
In reply to The remarkable feat of depression, posted by Eddie Sylvano on February 24, 2003, at 11:57:45
Eddie,
I believe that I am bipolar, although not as severely as others I have known. I'm still not being medicated (always on my to do list), but I can relate with your experience.
When I'm in one of my great moods (manic), everything is wonderful, crystal clear, and I couldn't imagine that I ever felt sad. But when days later I am at my all-time low, I can't believe I was ever that happy.
It's like each experience wipes the mirror clean of the other.
I think that my manic-depressive tendencies have starting emerging the most severely during these past few months. It's really scaring me.
Posted by BekkaH on February 26, 2003, at 21:32:16
In reply to The remarkable feat of depression, posted by Eddie Sylvano on February 24, 2003, at 11:57:45
> Every time I go on antidepressants, I'm consistantly surprised to discover (after a couple weeks), how bad I was really feeling. Depression comes on so gradually for me that it's like a slow layer of dust forming on the TV screen. You don't notice how dirty it was until you wipe off a section. Same thing here. Beyond that, I find it remarkable that such a feeling is always a rediscovery. It's as if depression erases your memory of what it was ever even like to feel "good." All you're aware of is how you've felt since the depression, so the concept of happy is more of an ideal than an actual memory. Anyone else identify with this experience?
***********************************************
I certainly can identify with that. Depression can be so insidious, and you described it so well.
Posted by Eddie Sylvano on February 27, 2003, at 8:59:44
In reply to Re: The remarkable feat of depression » Eddie Sylvano, posted by WorryGirl on February 26, 2003, at 17:25:38
>But when days later I am at my all-time low, I can't believe I was ever that happy.
> I think that my manic-depressive tendencies have starting emerging the most severely during these past few months. It's really scaring me.
------------------If you're cycling within days, and it's getting worse, you probably should keep an eye on it. "Mental illness" is such a slippery entity. Most of the literature on mood disorders seem to define symptoms as a problem only when they begin to "significantly" impair your daily functioning, so if you find yourself struggling at work or play, you've probably crossed the therapeutic line in the sand.
On a personal aside, I've always wondered what it must be like to experience mania. My entire life has been so mired in the fatigue and apathy of depressive fogginess that feeling on top of the world for a minute would be nice.
Posted by WorryGirl on February 27, 2003, at 16:01:26
In reply to Re: The remarkable feat of depression, posted by Eddie Sylvano on February 27, 2003, at 8:59:44
> On a personal aside, I've always wondered what it must be like to experience mania. My entire life has been so mired in the fatigue and apathy of depressive fogginess that feeling on top of the world for a minute would be nice.
Eddie,
Thanks for your response. I wish you could experience a taste of the mania because it is quite pleasant and almost addicting (at least for me).The mania I've been experiencing is what has really kept me from feeling that I seriously need help. Others may experience it differently but for me, it is a great feeling. I can handle almost anything and somehow can forget that I've felt the opposite not so long before. I have more energy and don't seem to need as much sleep. On the bad side, I can get set off more easily and lash out.
When I'm feeling more depressed I feel very little value in myself as a human. I can go the whole day accomplishing very little. Interestingly, something that might upset me in my "manic" mood won't as much in this mood, because my feelings are dulled.
On a different note, my social anxiety remains regardless of whether I'm an in "up" or "down" mood. If I'm in an "up" mood and get or feel socially rejected, I am more likely to cry hysterically when I've left the situation. When depressed, again, I'm too numb to even cry.
Also, I've realized that my social anxiety is specific; that is, I only experience it when I am around people who I don't feel accept me or are responsive to me. It is the worst when I'm treated like I'm invisible yet seem to sense whispers and stares. At that point, if someone finally talks to me, I tremble and am tongue-tied. One of my most recent episode such as this ended up with me hearing a woman tell another woman that I was "Dum dum de dum". Needless to say I haven't felt comfortable in this specific social situation ever again and probably never will. I am the only one in this "mommy" group who is not smiled at or greeted when I arrive, even when I smile and sometimes say hello as I walk in. It truly hurts my feelings and I dread this event (for my toddler) so much that I start panicking days before.
Oops, sorry for rambling.
Posted by fuzzymind on February 27, 2003, at 16:29:27
In reply to The remarkable feat of depression, posted by Eddie Sylvano on February 24, 2003, at 11:57:45
> Every time I go on antidepressants, I'm consistantly surprised to discover (after a couple weeks), how bad I was really feeling. Depression comes on so gradually for me that it's like a slow layer of dust forming on the TV screen. You don't notice how dirty it was until you wipe off a section. Same thing here. Beyond that, I find it remarkable that such a feeling is always a rediscovery. It's as if depression erases your memory of what it was ever even like to feel "good." All you're aware of is how you've felt since the depression, so the concept of happy is more of an ideal than an actual memory. Anyone else identify with this experience?
ADs never worked for me .I feel like I hhave been lied to and been ripped off. I see tv ads for social anxiety medication, and am wondering how they can get away with this scam. The nI read the many statistics claiming that ADs work on 80 percent of patients(or maybe that is treatment for therapy overall)
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