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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 12 of 12. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by judy1 on July 17, 2002, at 13:47:17
and it mentioned- overdependent (when you call constantly), dependent-resistant- never calling or asking for extra help (me, I think fear of abandonment) and the integrated patient who will call in times of crisis and that's it. I was curious what category other people on the board fall into. take care judy
Posted by judy1 on July 17, 2002, at 13:51:07
In reply to Just read an article on dependency on therapist, posted by judy1 on July 17, 2002, at 13:47:17
I called in crisis (suicidal) last week on my therp's pager and didn't leave a message. She called about 30 seconds later because she has caller ID and knew it had to be a crisis if I actually called her. I think I'm really fortunate in finding her.
Posted by Dinah on July 17, 2002, at 13:58:47
In reply to p.s., posted by judy1 on July 17, 2002, at 13:51:07
I'm so sorry to hear that you were feeling so badly last week Judy. But I'm so happy to hear you have a responsive therapist.
Posted by Dinah on July 17, 2002, at 14:01:04
In reply to Just read an article on dependency on therapist, posted by judy1 on July 17, 2002, at 13:47:17
> and it mentioned- overdependent (when you call constantly), dependent-resistant- never calling or asking for extra help (me, I think fear of abandonment) and the integrated patient who will call in times of crisis and that's it. I was curious what category other people on the board fall into. take care judy
Well Judy, I think I'm overdependent. But my therapist was fussing at me the other day for not calling when I need him and for being too worried about being a bother. So maybe that puts me by default into integrated? :)
Posted by Mashogr8 on July 18, 2002, at 10:57:44
In reply to Re: Just read an article on dependency on therapist, posted by Dinah on July 17, 2002, at 14:01:04
Hi Judy,
I'm not sure where I would fall either. I don't really think I could be considered treatment resistant although it is extremely hard for me to call for help when I need it. I'm always sure it's not bad enough or that I'm interrupting either the therapist or psydoc. they have their time iwth me scheduled. Why should I bother them? Nothing will change in the next few hours. Pain is still there. I havwe been told that is part of their job but it still feels too intrusive for me.Sometimes I will dial the pdoc number, planning to tell him where I stand. If he answers, then I talk. If, however, I get the answering machine, that acts as a deterrant for me and I usually hang up. There is no way for him to know that I was calling since my phone has a block on it and the number will not show up on caller id. On the other hand, when things really got out of control last Friday, I did leave a message and he called back as soon as he was through his session. That was a huge relief.
I, too, am very afraid that my therapist will retire. His children are grown and I suspect all college bills are paid. Nobody's married yet so maybe he's saving for that. On the other hand, insurance is such a pain, I fear he will say "forget it" and live a life of leisure scubadiving or something. I ask at least two, and a couple of times three times a year if he is going to retire. I think I finally believe that he isn't going to move. The thought of losing him is devestating, maybe even more than trying to start all over with someone new.
MA
Posted by mair on July 18, 2002, at 17:16:47
In reply to Just read an article on dependency on therapist, posted by judy1 on July 17, 2002, at 13:47:17
I'm definitely there with you - my resistance to calling has been a source of much discussion in therapy, not only with my current therapist but also with previous ones. I've had these pretty inane discussions with my therapist about when it's ok to call, because believe me I don't know this intuitively at all. Her rule with me, and I'm sure for very few others, is for me to call whenever I feel like talking to her. She doesn't say, but I know that this is her rule because she knows I won't call unnecessarily and she wants me not to second guess any impulse I might have to call her in times of need.
I've been through some pretty rough periods and never so much as thought of picking up the phone. In 3+ years of being treated by her the only time I called her was shortly after I heard that Sar had died. I wasn't in danger, just extremely upset. It was the right thing to do on my part (although done with great difficulty) but I'm sure I would never have made that call if she and I hadn't spent so much time trying to get me over my hangup about bothering her.
Mair
Posted by bookgurl99 on July 24, 2002, at 1:11:06
In reply to Just read an article on dependency on therapist, posted by judy1 on July 17, 2002, at 13:47:17
> and it mentioned- overdependent (when you call constantly), dependent-resistant- never calling or asking for extra help (me, I think fear of abandonment) and the integrated patient who will call in times of crisis and that's it. I was curious what category other people on the board fall into. take care judy
I started calling my therapist all the time at the start of my crisis a few mos. ago. Now that I'm adjusted to my symptoms, I call about once every two weeks -- usually to ask her to do things like talk to my dr. or to complain that I want to kill myself. I actually stop calling her less, though, when I become more suicidal because I don't want to be talked out of it at that time.
I'd say that I've swung all ends of the gamit.
Posted by judy1 on July 24, 2002, at 21:57:30
In reply to Re: Just read an article on dependency on therapist, posted by bookgurl99 on July 24, 2002, at 1:11:06
My therapist said that when we start getting to the difficult stuff I'll probably call her a great deal- she expects it. I'm worried about your behavior when suicidal- I consider that a crisis (I'm sure your therapist would agree), and I would hope that's when you seek the most support. Take care, judy
Posted by bookgurl99 on July 29, 2002, at 23:31:32
In reply to That sounds typical » bookgurl99, posted by judy1 on July 24, 2002, at 21:57:30
> My therapist said that when we start getting to the difficult stuff I'll probably call her a great deal- she expects it. I'm worried about your behavior when suicidal- I consider that a crisis (I'm sure your therapist would agree), and I would hope that's when you seek the most support. Take care, judy
Well, now that I've talked about feeling suicidal in therapy, I don't feel so suicidal anymore. I guess that's what it's for, hmm?elisa-bee
Posted by oracle on July 30, 2002, at 0:18:55
In reply to Just read an article on dependency on therapist, posted by judy1 on July 17, 2002, at 13:47:17
I'm very independent. After 20 years of doing this
I have to be. If I crash and need to up my meds, I leave a message to that effect,
always at night, so I get the doc's machine."Hi, its <whatever>. I have crashed and am going to 450 mgs of Effexor.
Please call in some Atavin to the usual place. I will call and speak
to you if I am not better in a week. If you do not hear
from me I am better. No need to call me unless the med
change is not OK."
Posted by allisonm on August 7, 2002, at 16:21:18
In reply to Just read an article on dependency on therapist, posted by judy1 on July 17, 2002, at 13:47:17
I only called my pdoc/therapist once in an emergency. It was the day that my husband had told the marriage counselor that he was not willing to work on the marriage and she said that then there was nothing she could do and divorce was imminent. I drove 2.5 hours to spend the weekend with my mom (a chronic alcoholic, but my mom just the same). When I got there she was drunk on the kitchen floor and couldn't get up because her broken collarbone was still healing (she'd fallen in a drunken stupor a few weeks before). I thought my brain was melting. So I called my pdoc's emergency number and he called me right back and helped me find a safe place to go. The only other times I call are if a new med is driving me up the wall and I can't wait till the next appointment. I leave messages. I'll also leave messages if something big has happened (mother died, boyfriend cheated on me, broke up with boyfriend, etc.) so he'll know and can adjust his thinking before the next session. BTW, he did call me back when I left the message about my mom's death to see if I was OK and had people nearby.
Posted by bookgurl99 on August 7, 2002, at 16:33:35
In reply to Re: That sounds typical, posted by bookgurl99 on July 29, 2002, at 23:31:32
So I live in a pretty big city, but I'm a lesbian and my therapist is also a lesbian. There's one big lgbt community center.
Last fall, I met a woman at a party of people who are on the board of the lgbt center, and then ran into her at a coffee shop with a friend. She told me, among other things, that she had just been on a kayaking trip to Colorado, and about a particular community group she works with. She was very enthusiastic towards me and mentioned her higher degrees (I thought in an effort to impress me.) She also mentioned being single. She was cute, but about 15 years older than me. But she was cool, and fun. When she left, my friend remarked on how she had been really laying it on thick. I just laughed about it and let it go.
The next day, I went to therapy and my therapist said "Oh, sorry I didn't call you back, I was on a kayaking trip in Colorado!" That was amusing in itself, but the other day my therapist was giving me advice and suggested that I get involved with this same particular community group, mentioning that her girlfriend -- who's on the board of the lgbt center -- is also involved with the group.
Pretty strange, huh? It's not that I expect to really bump into either one, but the whole thing has a twilight-zonish quality to it. I'm not sure if I should mention that I know who her girlfriend is or not -- definitely wouldn't mention that she flirted with me once, flirting is innocuous. But it's just so weird.
This is the end of the thread.
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