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Posted by zeugma on May 5, 2006, at 18:56:41
that was an apparition haunting Attorney General Alberto Gonzales, but which Mr. Gonzales bravely treated as all spectres should be: as something that will go away in the morning. Mr. Gonzales, after explaining that my local paper had published something so dangerous that it made al Qaeda look like a bunch of philanthropists (my paper had published a LEAK, a toxic spill of ink that has endangered all of our lives as patriotic Americans (I would have added 'God-fearing', as Mr. Gonzales probably did when confronted by the spectre heading the Senate Judiciary Committee, but President Bush did slip in a codicil that said that America accepts even atheists, despite our being a nation of prayer, most of it, to judge from Mr. Bush's own account, prayer unselfishly directed at Mr. Bush. How consoling that Mr. Bush's sagging poll ratings are now bolstered by divine intervention)),said that the Constitution was being strictly upheld, but that any details of how the U.S. Constitution was being upheld would only compound the toxic LEAK emanating from, who knows, somewhere in Mr. Specter's own Judiciary Committee!
I have given a most accurate paraphrase of Mr. Gonzales' informative remarks. Mr. Gonzales did keep saying, "You're not really there" under his breath, but 'spectre' does mean ghost, and that is something one says to such an apparitional committee as the Judiciary.
Now the toxic LEAK apparently has been of an insidious nature, and has made Mr. Specter (if he really exists- I don't believe in ghosts, and have seen little to convince a skeptic like me that there is a Senate Judiciary Committee, either) upset, too. Now most of us can handle being upset without taking it out on innocents such as Mr. Gonzales, or even America's Designated Object of Fervent Prayer (one must truly be a spectre to think bad thoughts about such an object of pious thoughts). But Mr. Specter- let me be charitable, he is being true to his name, as Mr. Bush is when he stows secrets away in every corner of the Rose garden- Mr. Specter, a name of fear in many countries, has finally broken a long silence thus:
>>Washington Post, the newspaper whose failure to stop publishing was likely the reason for Mr. Goss' sudden resignation:
On Tuesday, Sen. Arlen Specter (R-Pa.) finally made a courageous breakthrough: He acknowledged that Congress is caught in a potentially lethal cycle of [wretchedly uncivil word]. Calling for hearings on the administration's pattern of [nasty verb in context, let's say I am EVADING incivility for your sake] the law through signing statements, Specter acknowledged that if the White House's "[I can't write this. I simply can't. it is not positive enough]" on congressional authority can't be stopped, "there may as well soon not be a Congress."
>>>
Mr. Specter is to be applauded for his "courageous breakthrough." I am glad the writer of the article said something positive for a charge [I slogged through the whole thing, and it was like seeing a spectre myself]. But sadly, every positive is really a negative in disguise, particularly when it comes to Mr. Specter and those like him. It seems Mr. Specter advocates an idea so shocking that I myself- was once- blocked-for advocating- d*mned negative campaigning that only the citizens of Vermont can stomach- if you do not live in the State of Vermont, avert your eyes. Because you will see a true spectre.Of course not. I would not use such a foul word as the author of the article used, but a word that might well be the one that the head of the Senate Judiciary Committee would have used. it starts with 'I.' And it is a word as uncivil, as shocking, and as deserving to be banished as spectres are, and for all I care, Judiciary Committees too. I am a skeptic, and there is little to persuade me that the Judiciary Committee still exists in America, despite sensationalistic gossip emanating from winners of the Pulitzer Prize. We know what a bad sign that is when a paper wins a Pulitzer Prize. It means that it will sink the ship,and spies, troops, and the trust of the world,and God knows what else (atheists, please ignore that clause, I am as solicitious of everyone's feelings as Mr. Bush Him- I mean, himself. I was practicing my prayer, you see) as Mr. Goss warned us before he, too, was sunk. We have sunk so far that we believe Spectres are real. They are laughing at us in Europe, because we can't keep our superstitions to ourselves.
-z
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