![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 1 of 1. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by casey1313 on March 30, 2011, at 13:25:23
I was in an accident over 10 years ago, my right femur was badly broken and subsequent non-unions and hardware failure required 7 surgeries. The last one was done at Tx Orthopedic Hospital in Houston tx and has thus far lasted the longest (almost 5 years) but the bone is still not healed and just held together with hardware. I have also had 2 discectomies in my back, a cage to replace a disk in my neck, and I'm about to schedule another disk surgery in my neck in the next couple of months.
After my neck surgery 4 years ago, I was able to stop pain meds altogether for almost 2 years when I started having alot of pain I can only describe as an "arthritic" feeling. It took me over a year to find a pain management doctor that would offer any help. I have to travel over 100 miles to see him. He has me on hydrocodone 10/325 6 x daily, and soma 350mg 3 x daily, and ambien at night.
I can feel that the pain meds are starting to become less and less effective, and I am growing more and more depressed by the day.
I'm a tattoo artist at my own shop, I managed to get a crappy house paid for, and I don't owe much on anything now, so I have been trying really hard to save up enough money to work a bit less and relax more. But with the economy the way it is, I end up scraping by each year instead of being able to save anything.
I find myself thinking more and more about what life will be like for me as the years go by and I get older and older. Do I really want to get worse until I can't move at all? Or do I want to just kill myself and be done with it? I did some mean things in my lifetime, and I sometimes wonder if Karma is real. Is this why I am forced to suffer? I have thought alot also about trying to find a way to move to Colorado where I might be able to get on medical marijuana. I'm afraid to even ask my doctor to suggest better meds for fear of him thinking I just want more drugs and disregarding me altogether. I hurt so much that I have to force myself not to take more than my prescribed number of pills so that I don't run short. Several weeks ago, I came up 1 day short on them and they would not let me fill my meds early.
Without pills, all I want to do is sleep all the time instead of having to move around and hurt.
My suicidal thoughts are happening alot more lately, but I like life enough that I decided to post here in hopes of some suggestions before I reach a breaking point. I can't imagine living another 20 years liike this. What will life as a helpless man be like? Can I really handle getting worse all the time?
I don't know what to do.
This is the end of the thread.
Psycho-Babble Newbies | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.