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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 2 of 2. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Fionamck on June 24, 2005, at 10:11:47
Can anyone shed any light, please?
I've just been diagnosed by one psychiatrist with bipolar 2 and, when I got a second opinion, I was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. My therapist doesn't think it's bipolar 2, but the first psych is quite insistent that it is.
I've read all I can find on bipolar 2 and borderline and now I am really confused. I was diagnosed with 'clinical depression' 9 years ago and have been having depressive episodes roughly every 1.5 to 2 years since. I have taken paroxetine, sertraline, zoloft over the years and have now been on lexapro for about a year and a half. I began cutting myself about a year and a half ago (although I had done it occasionally in the past) and began keeping a mood diary five months ago as I noticed mood swings.
Now, the mood never really goes above 'optimistic' (and we're talking 'yes, I believe I can enjoy life' rather than 'yes, I believe I can fly'-type optimism), but the swings are quite sharp: up and down to almost bottom (but not as low as before the lexapro) within a couple of days and back, sometimes within a day.
I don't seem to get the increased energy (there are times when I am more focussed and on the ball, and I have a reputation for getting lots of work done at work, but this seems normal to me). At no time do I really feel buzzing or need less sleep. Most of the time I feel drained and find it very, very hard to get up in the morning or do anything that I don't have to do. Now and again I have days/parts of days when I feel as if I am underwater, distant, and cannot focus on anything, and times when I fidget and feel as if I have ants running round in my head - in the sense that I can't concentrate and I almost have to shake the fizziness out of my head (sorry, I can't think of a word for it).
I have the deep fear of abandonment associated with borderline, yet I often have a deep need to be alone and quiet and so am not 'clingy', together with the flashes of very intense irritation and anger (although I control this reasonably well) and lack of willpower over spending (but we're not talking real debt here) and eating. But I don't seem to have the unstable and erratic relationships.
Basically, I really don't know which I am and I cannot afford to go for a third opinion (perhaps I would get a completely new diagnosis if I did, just to keep me entertained...); this whole thing is costing me a fortune. The bipolar psych said that my not responding well to the lexapro (or indeed the other antidepressants in the past) suggests that it is not unipolar depression. Plausible, I suppose.
Both psychs recommended Epilim - controlled release -(I believe this is called Depakote in the States?)and the bipolar psych is quite firm that I need to take it. It's only 200mg and he says it will stay low, but I really, really don't want to take another drug. The weight gain side effect I have read about is a real issue for me (very closely linked to my mood), as is the sleepiness (I need to be wide awake at work)and the worry that the drug will be increased and then increased and then increased...
This is a long, long post and I apologise, but I am drained from doing research on this and feel I am getting nowhere, and I wondered if any of this rings any bells for anyone/anyone has had a similar experience and/or taken Epilim at all.
Please get in touch if any of this makes any sense to you!
Posted by Dr. Bob on June 25, 2005, at 11:32:52
In reply to Bipolar 2?, posted by Fionamck on June 24, 2005, at 10:11:47
> Can anyone shed any light, please?
They may be able to shed more at the main Psycho-Babble board. Here's a link:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20050622/msgs/518655.html
Thanks,
Bob
This is the end of the thread.
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