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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 9 of 9. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by judy1 on January 2, 2004, at 11:52:58
since this is a new year, I'm going to commit to taking better care of myself mentally. I just posted on another board in favor of taking therapy breaks, but honestly I feel like I'm peddling water and not improving on my own. so how do I reconcile my dislike of going to my pdoc or therp (or both) with my desire to be a good mom and wife - which my mental state interferes? both my therp and pdoc are there for me (I check occasionally) and say when I'm ready, just call them. okay guys, how about a nudge?
thanks, judy
Posted by judy1 on January 2, 2004, at 11:56:32
In reply to okay, I'll start :-), posted by judy1 on January 2, 2004, at 11:52:58
Posted by Elle2021 on January 4, 2004, at 8:57:21
In reply to okay, I'll start :-), posted by judy1 on January 2, 2004, at 11:52:58
I support your decision to commit to doing your best to improve your mental health. I think you can do it.
I commit to stop eating emotionally and to start *trying* to deal with my childhood. I have made the decision to tell my pdoc I am going to take him up on his offer to refer me to the therapist he recommended. I am going to try VERY hard to be honest with her and not pretend that everything is fine when it isn't. I am going to force myself to trust her and my pdoc. Ugh, that feels like a lot to do. I really am going to try.
I don't know where this belongs, on psychology or this new health board. This is about my mental health, so I guess here.
Elle
Posted by Dinah on January 4, 2004, at 11:59:00
In reply to okay, I'll start :-), posted by judy1 on January 2, 2004, at 11:52:58
I thought you had started up again recently? Of course, my mind isn't what it used to be, if in fact it ever was.
Nudge, nudge. Gentle push. I find that being in therapy helps a lot with my ability to parent. And since that's my top priority in life right now, I do whatever I can to be a better mom.
Can you list out the pros and cons? Paying special attention to the ways that going would help your parenting?
Posted by shar on January 4, 2004, at 12:12:28
In reply to okay, I'll start :-), posted by judy1 on January 2, 2004, at 11:52:58
Nudge.
(takes your virtual hand and leads you to the phone, stands there supportively while you dial the number, celebrates afterward)
Shar
Posted by antigua on January 5, 2004, at 8:26:18
In reply to okay, I'll start :-), posted by judy1 on January 2, 2004, at 11:52:58
Here's my nudge of encouragement. I've been in therapy for 12+ years. While all of the years have been focused on my troubles, I have used those less intense times to use my T to become a better parent. I kind of think of it as 4 for 1 therapy--my three kids and I all benefit. I truly am a better parent because of therapy.
So go for it...
antigua
Posted by judy1 on January 6, 2004, at 10:35:04
In reply to Re: okay, I'll start :-) » judy1, posted by antigua on January 5, 2004, at 8:26:18
thanks for the nudges :-), I think being a better parent is probably what gets through to me most. And Dinah I did go for a little while (so you're not forgetting stuff), but I didn't last long. It's kind of like not exercising, I look for any excuse to stop. I wish I had the positive experiences with therapy that most of you do- but mostly I get really worked up after a session and dissociate, etc.- then I stop going again. well Ill give it another try and let you know what happens.
take care all- judy
Posted by Parisss on February 10, 2004, at 13:29:32
In reply to thanks, especially the parenting part, posted by judy1 on January 6, 2004, at 10:35:04
I congratulate you on your stand to make a stand for yourself and family.
I don't want to throw a wrench in what is a positive step for many, but I have to also share an opposite view.
My Daughter and I went to therapy for a few years. The psychologist was upfront that she was a proactive supporter of the child's role. Well she was. By the time she was through with us I was painted out to be a beast and anyone else that knew me thought I spoiled my daughter rotten. Prior to this, my daughter and I were best of friends and after she thought I was the root of all her problems, not the fact that she was now diagnosed Bipolar (and I was too in the sessions)
The whole thing esculated from getting some help for a teen that was straying to me almost losing her and me being hospitalized for toxicity levels of meds. These same meds MADE me crazy and I lost my Federal job of 15 years to a disability retirement. I went from a single mom of middle class to poverty and eventually a period of insanity linked to the plethora of meds that I was taking. I have to tell you at this point that this therapist just told the Doc her theories on us and the Doc wrote the scripts without her own analysis. This same therapist I think was a thrill seeker and made a "mountain out of a mole-hill" with us.
I am very leary of therapy now! I don't want to focus on my woes, I want positive, forward help. I don't want to rehash a past (yes, even my strange and abusive upbringing) that can not be changed.
I decided that a couple of my dear friends that lend me an ear when I need to vent and a more conservative Doctor on the dishing out meds has been more effective for me.
Advice? Be careful that you have a therapist that is moving you in the right direction and not making more waves than you already have!
Posted by Suzie V on February 12, 2004, at 13:05:22
In reply to Re: thanks, especially the parenting part, posted by Parisss on February 10, 2004, at 13:29:32
Hi,
I am new to this forum but this is exactly what I am afraid is starting to happen between my teenage daughter and I. She has just started seeing a psychologist and suddenly she is finding every excuse to vent her anger at me, and hurt me emotionally.
We have always been very close and have had a wonderful loving relationship, but now she has called me a psycho and every other name that could hurt the most. Soon we will be starting family therapy and I strongly suspect that I will be seen as the beast and the source of all her problems. Although she has probably inherited my condition as I did from my mother. It is a very difficult time because we are in the middle of moving and I have chronic fatigue syndrome, and anxiety disorder which leads to depression under times of stress. I have been denied disability, I don't understand why except they phoned my last place of employment and said I did too good of a job. That's because I hid my condition from my employer so as not to be stigmatized, and my vacation was actually sick leave although they didn't know it. But I fizzed out quickly after that and have had no energy for two years now. So of course with illness, you have the added financial stress.>By the time she was through with us I was painted out to be a beast and anyone else that knew me thought I spoiled my daughter rotten. Prior to this, my daughter and I were best of friends and after she thought I was the root of all her problems.
>
> The whole thing esculated from getting some help for a teen that was straying to me almost losing her and me being hospitalized for toxicity levels of meds. These same meds MADE me crazy and I lost my Federal job of 15 years to a disability retirement. I went from a single mom of middle class to poverty and eventually a period of insanity linked to the plethora of meds that I was taking. I have to tell you at this point that this therapist just told the Doc her theories on us and the Doc wrote the scripts without her own analysis. This same therapist I think was a thrill seeker and made a "mountain out of a mole-hill" with us.I am very sorry to hear how this ended for you. But I can see how it can happen. The last thing I want to do is dissuade anyone from therapy, because I know of people who have been tremendously helped. However do be leary and if it doesn't feel right get out. Don't let them persuade you to take meds you don't feel comfortable with or do things that are not you. Like mine told me I must pray to God every moment of the day, (but I am not religious) since the Remeron and other anti-depressants didn't help me get off Chlonazepam or help my anxiety, but only made me worse and loose my job. He then lost his licence for having an affair with a patient. My previous shrink sexually abused a patient, or was accused of it, and he later killed himself which was very sad since he seemed to be a good person and may not have been true.
I have also had other shrinks who didn't seem to have any understanding of me, or care the least about me.> I am very leary of therapy now! I don't want to focus on my woes, I want positive, forward help. I don't want to rehash a past (yes, even my strange and abusive upbringing) that can not be changed.
I think we just have to learn from these experiences and go with our gut instincts on what is best for ourselves. Nobody else can really understand who we are or care about us more than ourselves. For instance my anxiety causes a bizzare breathing problem that only my benzo can relieve, and I am at a loss to get anyone to understand that I would rather die than go back to feeling that distress day after day.
> I decided that a couple of my dear friends that lend me an ear when I need to vent and a more conservative Doctor on the dishing out meds has been more effective for me.
This is exactly so for me, although I am short on the friend side at the moment. Lost my best friend a few years ago because I think she thought I was a looser because she surpassed me career wise. She just didn't understand or believe that I had SAD and GAD. I hardly talked about it to her, but she still began to see me as not good enough for her, at least that's what I think happened. I have a couple of other friends but I avoid them when I'm stressed which is sometimes for long periods.
But yes, nothing helps me more than a lunch out and a laugh with a friend. Once a week used to be the best therapy for me. Once I get over this move I hope I will be feeling more social.
>
> Advice? Be careful that you have a therapist that is moving you in the right direction and not making more waves than you already have!Agreed. That said, I know there are good ones out there, so if that's what you need, just keep looking. I guess it's like finding a mate. Not that easy but possible. It would have been nice if one could have helped me to not cause my daughter, or son grief, which I do accept some responsibility for.
SuzieV
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