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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 9 of 9. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by inanimate peanut on July 18, 2010, at 13:18:40
OK, I feel totally distant from God, almost like I did before I was a Christian. I feel like I can't pray. Things that I used to have a passion for like reading Christian books, listening to Christian music, church, etc. don't do anything for me anymore. It seems like it gets worse the more depressed I get and the worse it gets the more depressed I get. I'm lying about some things right now that are cheating some systems in order to allow me to have money to survive. I know that the Godly thing to do would be to stop and trust God to take care of it, but this is literally my ability to keep my apartment, pay to live stuff--- that's alot of faith! So not only am I lying but I lack faith. Faith is one of the most important things to God, if not THE most important. The Bible says if we have no faith, he has no pleasure in us. Satan has used this knowledge to just drive me further and further away from God until I don't even feel like I matter to God at all. I certainly feel like God can't bless me, meaning the Nortriptyline can't work and my disability application can't get approved. I don't know if I can battle the depression without my spirituality but it seems like the more depressed I get the more I lose my spirituality. I just don't know what to do as the cycle keeps getting worse and worse as I spiral into a deeper depression. Does anybody understand this at all?
Posted by europerep on July 19, 2010, at 3:36:42
In reply to distance from God- sin or depression, posted by inanimate peanut on July 18, 2010, at 13:18:40
I guess for some people the existence of a certain God, such as it is described in the bible, is a monolithic belief, and I respect that of course.. for me, a God that would want you to suffer to pay service to him is not a God I could believe in. I do believe in God, and if there is anything of this order that God demands, then it is, in my eyes, belief, not sacrifice.I personally believe that, God would much rather have a good, decent human being that is kind to others but without belief, than a "bad" human being that has belief. and I think he would want you to make sure you feel better first, and of him second.
Posted by inanimate peanut on July 19, 2010, at 16:38:27
In reply to Re: distance from God- sin or depression, posted by europerep on July 19, 2010, at 3:36:42
Posted by Lou Pilder on July 19, 2010, at 17:14:10
In reply to thanks :-) (nm) » europerep, posted by inanimate peanut on July 19, 2010, at 16:38:27
inanimate peanut,
You wrote in your subject line as a reply to europerep, {thanks}.
I am unsure as to what you are wanting to mean by {thanks} here. If you could post answers to the following, then I could have the opportunity to respond accordingly.
A. Are you thanking europerep for something that is written in the post that your post is a reply to?
B. If so, could you post here whaat you are thanking europerep for writing?
C. other answers to questions not stated.
Lou
Posted by Hombre on July 20, 2010, at 20:59:02
In reply to distance from God- sin or depression, posted by inanimate peanut on July 18, 2010, at 13:18:40
Do the best you can. Sometimes just hanging on shows a strength and faith that few can understand. When I am depressed, more than anything I need to remember that God loves us and has a purpose for our lives that we cannot always understand. Trying to understand everything, trying to know everything, trying to be in complete control -- well, we eventually learn that we are so flawed, imperfect, but beautiful.
You may not *feel* very Christian, but your actions will still be Christian. Even if it means just getting out of bed and drinking a glass of water. That act alone can show great faith because you are not giving up and you are still trying your best. But know that your suffering means a lot to God and to your brothers and sisters. Don't let your feelings confuse you. You can feel bad and yet still have hope. Not saying you don't, of course, just recognizing it.
In my darkest hours or when panic set in, repeating the Jesus Prayer and breathing rhythmically has brought relief. A technique I picked up from the Russian Orthodox and the experience of Russian combat veterans:
"Lord Jesus Christ have mercy on us sinners."
Posted by hyperfocus on July 22, 2010, at 1:16:12
In reply to distance from God- sin or depression, posted by inanimate peanut on July 18, 2010, at 13:18:40
I agree with the points posters made before. I think if you believe in God then you believe He knows your innermost beliefs. I know when you're sick everything looks so black and ugly and it can be impossible to muster any spiritual thoughts or feelings. A long time ago i had an extreme crisis when I realized that the obsessive thoughts in my head didn't switch off even when i tried to pray. I felt that surely God wasn't with me if I couldn't even pray without hearing these bad things.
But one of the most comforting things that I learned is the idea that God is with us all the time - not just when we pray or even when we believe. He's with us even when we don't believe, even when we curse at him and say "This isn't fair" or "why should I have to go through this. I don't think you care about me." I didn't go to church for more than 12 years, yet as I look back more and more i can see His hand guiding me and protecting and comforting me through all those dark years. So even if you can't muster any active spiritual thoughts and emotions, maybe the thought that God is with you, regardless of what happens in your brain, might be enough. I think that He knows whether you believe in him or not, and he also knows whether you try to be a good person or not, even if you think you're not.
Also if you're a Christian then you will know that when Jesus was on earth he didn't go visiting the rulers or priests or the rich and powerful or even just people who were very happy and content and good and righteous.He spent most of his time with the poor and humble, the sick and downtrodden, the sinners and the poor in spirit. He didn't come for the highest, he came to save the lowest. So even if you're sick and need to do certain things to survive remember Jesus came most of all for you.
I don't now how long we must go through this, but just try to take one day at a time. If you try and account for all the days in your past or look forward to what the future holds, you'll go (more) crazy. Every day you wake just take a load off and switch on autopilot and say "Look whatever happens to me today I know that God is there and I trust him and believe in him and his love for me to do whatever is right for me."
Posted by Laney on July 22, 2010, at 10:42:57
In reply to distance from God- sin or depression, posted by inanimate peanut on July 18, 2010, at 13:18:40
IP,
Hi there. This is my first post on the faith board (I think?) Anyway, I totally understand what you are saying. People, especially chrisitans cannot understand what we are going through. They want to give us verses in the Bible to point us to what they feel at the time will help best. I appreciate their well meaning but it still doesn't bridge the gap between us (the depressed) and them. When you are depressed, it's hard to feel anything period. They just take it for granted that we are capable of the same feelings of joy, peace, excitement, etc. We have to tell them that right now this disease whether of the mind, soul or spirit is rendering us unable to feel "normal" emotions. But... I would never give up on my trust in God's goodness. I know it's not His fault that I'm feeling this way. Some of it is the changes made by the meds and some of it (depression) is due to my own sin and selfishness which I'm not beating myself up over. It actually draws me to Him because He holds the answers and I trust Him and his goodness even when I can't feel it. Do you understand?
Posted by Dr. Bob on July 22, 2010, at 18:11:07
In reply to Re: distance from God- sin or depression, posted by Laney on July 22, 2010, at 10:42:57
> People, especially chrisitans cannot understand what we are going through. They want to give us verses in the Bible to point us to what they feel at the time will help best.
Welcome to the faith board. Faith can be a sensitive subject, so please be extra careful here not to overgeneralize.
But please don't take this personally, either, this doesn't mean I don't like you or think you're a bad person, and I'm sorry if this hurts you.
More information about posting policies and tips on alternative ways to express yourself, including a link to a nice post by Dinah on I-statements, are in the FAQ:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#civil
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#enforceFollow-ups regarding these issues should be redirected to Psycho-Babble Administration. They, as well as replies to the above post, should of course themselves be civil.
Thanks,
Bob
Posted by inanimate peanut on July 22, 2010, at 23:08:54
In reply to distance from God- sin or depression, posted by inanimate peanut on July 18, 2010, at 13:18:40
Thanks so much to all for your replies. All of them were so helpful, just to remind me that God is still there even when I feel my darkest. I just have to try to remember that sometimes just getting out of bed shows a little faith and that God is there with me. Thanks again!
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