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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Dena on December 15, 2003, at 10:25:21
... especially when you keep reading posts that you'd love to respond to!
Wow - things have changed around here since I was blocked 8 weeks ago. Hardly any of the folks who were posting then are still here, & new folks have shown up. Welcome, to all who've found a place to connect here!
I've been touched by Tovah's insights, & moved by Dinah's struggle with her Sunday school class. It's been an interesting exercise to read others' posts, & want to chime in, but instead to not participate. Glory be, the world continues to revolve without my input! ;)
I haven't read any mention of Christmas lately (or, I think there was one mention). Is that because the secular consumerism aspect of Christmas is a turn off? Or is it because the unfulfilled high expectations of this season bring about a sense of depression?
I usually experience a seasonal depression when the days get short (& daylight savings time brings sunset so early), & the cold weather prevents me from getting as much fresh air. This year, my doctor is weaning me off of an antidepressant - I've been on them for so long, I don't even know whether or not I'm still depressed. Christmas day will be my first drug-free day, after the weaning process. I'm certainly hoping I don't crash!
I walk a tightrope every Christmas - I want to celebrate it as a spiritual day - it's the day of my Savior's birth! But I feel so pressured to "do Christmas" like the world does - all the presents, the have-to affairs & parties, the decorating, the baking, the Christmas cards, the crafts... it gets overwhelming, & definitely un-peaceful.
I'd love to cut back on all of the activities, but it's so hard when my children have grown accustomed to the flurry. It bothers me how Jesus gets lost in the hustle & bustle. Of all days of the year, this one should be about Him.
I saw a wonderful little snow-globe the other day. It had a tiny manger, with baby Jesus inside of it. Next to the manger, Santa Claus was kneeling in adoration. It reminded me that Santa Claus is really a modern fable based on Saint Nicholas of Turkey, a 4th century Archbishop (more about him can be learned at: http://www.domestic-church.com/CONTENT.DCC/19981101/SAINTS/nicholas.htm).
That's all that's on my mind right now. I'm glad to be "back". Hopefully I'll learn how to write without putting my feet in my mouth. If not, I guess I get blocked for a year next time...?
Shalom, Dena
Posted by judy1 on December 15, 2003, at 10:55:06
In reply to 8 Weeks is a Looooong Time..., posted by Dena on December 15, 2003, at 10:25:21
Hi,
I plead guilty when it comes to being part of the commercialism of Christmas, perhaps that's part of having young children who I haven't raised with a faith and gained their knowledge of the holiday through their friends. It's really difficult not to be swayed by the media blitz this time of year. Actually Easter and Christmas are the only times we attend Mass in my family (which is probably true of half of the people I see there). Do you have specific plans for the holiday?
take care, judy
Posted by Dena on December 15, 2003, at 14:43:00
In reply to Re: 8 Weeks is a Looooong Time... » Dena, posted by judy1 on December 15, 2003, at 10:55:06
Hi Judy -
How nice to have a response so quickly, after so many long weeks in exile!
I understand the situation with children at Christmas. I have seven of them (ages 16 down to 1). I wasn't very involved with church when the older ones were young - I just went through the motions, & I was always so depressed ... Christmas was just always something to endure. My husband (who was raised Jewish & became a Christian just before we met) always tried to make it up to the children for their mom's grinch-ness. Also, my parents, who live across the country & can't often see the kids, would send them things to make up for the separation. My inlaws, who have more disposable income, seemed to see Christmas as an invitation to compete for who could give the best gift. Translation: too many toys. Lesson learned: greed gets rewarded.
Things have changed for our family, spiritually. We, as parents, have a personal relationship with God, & do our best to live it out before our children (not easy - I blow it almost every day!). We've taught our children about God, & the older ones have come to know him as well (the younger ones just aren't yet accountable).
Church for us is a close-knit community of people who believe alike & who love each other in practical ways. We all know each other as close friends, & share a great deal of our lives with each other. So church for my children isn't just somewhere to go, but someone they are. Of course, I couldn't teach them this if it wasn't real for me first. If I compartmentalize my life, reserving my faith for Sundays only, my witness to my children would be a negative one. I have to live it out 24/7, when I feel like it & when I don't, or it isn't real. Children are so finely-tuned against hypocrisy - they let me know it when I don't walk what I talk!
When I was a child, my parents made a big deal about Santa Claus. I bought it. In second grade, when a friend told me the truth, I was devastated! I mean, my parents went all out to convince me that he was real: flour ("snow") footprints on the living room floor, running across the roof, shaking jingle bells & yelling, "Ho, ho, ho!", having "Santa" (a relative) call me on the phone to see if I'd been naughty or nice. I couldn't believe they'd lied to me. I was hurt & it was hard to trust them for a while. I didn't want to do that to my own children. From their earliest Christmases, we told them the myth of Santa Claus (& the real story of St. Nicholas). We focused on the true Christmas story, of how God sent Jesus to earth as a human baby, vulnerable, tiny & helpless ... how he came to an obscure teenaged girl, in an obscure country, in an obscure town, in an obscure stable. God became man, so that we could be reunited to God. They know & love this story, & pray that they're coming to know & love Him.
I've researched the meanings behind the traditions of Christmas. Even the most secular seeming ones have their roots in the celebration of Jesus' birth. The tree points toward heaven; the star or angel on the top proclaims the birth of the world's savior. We use only the ornaments that reflect our faith, & we set up the nativity under the tree (the manger is empty 'til Christmas morning - they all run to see baby Jesus). Candy canes were developed to resemble shepherd's crooks; if you turn them upside down, you see the "J" for Jesus; the white represents His purity, & the red represents the blood He would shed on the cross; three thinner red stripes for the stripes He received on our behalf when the Roman soldiers whipped Him, as well as being the number of the Trinity. The flavor of the cane is peppermint, which is similar to hyssop. Hyssop is in the mint family and was used in the Old Testament for purification and sacrifice.
Now, we still give Christmas gifts to each other. I want them to have the thrill of planning, choosing, wrapping & giving gifts (& keeping a secret!). I want them to be more excited about seeing their siblings open their gifts, than to open their own gifts. I take each of them to the dollar store, & give them a dollar per family member (with seven kids, even this isn't cheap!). I help the little ones with their choices. Then they get to wrap them & put them under the tree. They're so excited this year about giving, which just amazes me.
We informed the grandparents several years ago that we didn't want any more toys. We requested that they send gifts of clothing, books & educational games or puzzles.
One year, we "adopted" a local family through a charity. They were anonymous to us, but we were told their ages, sizes & needs. We went shopping as a family to purchase clothes, toys, books, & food. We wrapped them & sent them through the charity. We received a wonderful thank you note from them - my kids loved doing that.
Last night my kids, all of them, participated in our church's nativity play. So hokey, & yet so wonderful! My eldest son portrayed Jesus as an adult (a sort of foreshadowing of the angel to Joseph); my eldest daughter was Mary; two sons were shepherds (one of them crawled - I think he thought he was supposed to be a sheep!); another son was the innkeeper, & two more daughters were angels. They worked on it for weeks, & were so excited to share it with their parents & the rest of the church. It became a living lesson for them - the historical account became real in their lives.
On Christmas Eve, we'll attend the service, sing carols & come home to share hot chocolate (the real stuff for a change - not instant). Then my husband will do the inevitable last-minute assembly of something that was supposed to come already assembled, while I stuff stockings & wrap any last minute whatever.
On Christmas morning, we eat breakfast together while Handel's Messiah plays in the background. Lest you get the impression that this is all Martha-Stewart-ish, let me assure you that my family is very real. I'll probably have to break up a couple of arguments, clean up spilt something or other, change a couple of poopy diapers, & remind, over & over, that patience is a virtue, not a disease!
That night, our priest, his wife (we're obviously not Roman Catholic) & two single friends will join us for dinner (in between the presents & the eating, there's a lot of cooking going on). After dinner, we'll have a cake & sing "Happy Birthday" to Jesus. Somewhere in there, I'll have to remember to call all my family across the country, & those across the ocean.
In spite of it all, I still have to fight the commercialism of Christmas, both in myself & in my children. It's all around, & it's impossible to not get affected by it. I still want to find the "perfect" gifts, I still spend too much money, I still lose my temper while we're setting up the tree (those darned tangled lights!), I still feel compelled to do too much.
I'm hoping to find a few quiet moments, when I can "be still & know that He is God".
Shalom, Dena
P.S. How was that for a "quick" answer to your question? I obviously have a lot of verbage stored up for the past 8 weeks!
Posted by Tovah on December 15, 2003, at 18:04:07
In reply to Re: 8 Weeks is a Looooong Time... » judy1, posted by Dena on December 15, 2003, at 14:43:00
For a few years our jurisdiction was on the "old" calendar. That was GREAT as our Christmas and Easter were celebrated on different days from the rest of the world. But we are now on the New Calendar and I don't like it as much. I liked having my "religious" Christmas/Easter and my "secular" Christmas/Easter, especially since my extended family is not religious.
Posted by Dena on December 15, 2003, at 21:57:53
In reply to Secular vs. religious Christmas, posted by Tovah on December 15, 2003, at 18:04:07
Dear Tovah -
I've always been curious about that - why the Eastern Church & the Western Church had different dates for Christmas & for Easter. Have you learned why? I'd love to be educated.
From a practical standpoint, I always thought that being Orthodox would mean that you'd get better prices at the post-Christmas sales, just in time for your Christmas! But then, maybe all the "good" things would be gone. But then again, I like what you said - one Christmas for the "commercialism" approach, & one Christmas to revere the birth of our Savior.
How long have we been on the same calendar?
I have so much to learn!
Shalom, Dena
Posted by Tovah on December 15, 2003, at 22:42:42
In reply to Re: Secular vs. religious Christmas » Tovah, posted by Dena on December 15, 2003, at 21:57:53
I won't do the topic any justice but it has something to do with one tracking lunar time and one tracking solar time. Our Jurisdiction, the Malankara Syrian, were on the old calendar until a couple of years ago. I have no idea why we switched. But 95% of the world's Orthodox are on the old calendar.
Posted by Dena on December 16, 2003, at 9:19:10
In reply to Re: Secular vs. religious Christmas, posted by Tovah on December 15, 2003, at 22:42:42
Ah, that explains it - at least enough to satisfy my curiosity. My Greek step-Mother-in-law is always teasing us that she celebrates the "right" holidays, while we're a bit confused -- it's all in good humor.
I vaguely remember something about the Eastern Church staying with the Hebraic calendar, while the Western Church was more influenced by the Roman calendar, which added some months & altered things.
I'm just glad that God isn't limited by time, & that once we're with Him, every day will be celebrated as a great feast (all that food - & we get perfect bodies to boot!)!
I greatly appreciate your support & fellowship in the last couple of days. You're a treasure.
Shalom, Dena
This is the end of the thread.
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