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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by ant on August 21, 2003, at 20:10:26
Hi,
I,m a 37yr male, married with 2 children, I don't go to church and don't have any strong faith belief. Somedays when I drive past a church I feel I want to walk in but just don't seem comfortable with the idea. I don't disagree with religion or faith and I certainly would like to believe that there is more to the world other than our humanly bodies. Death scare me, the end of life scares me.
Am I alone in feeling like this?
Perhaps this isn't the normal type of post you get here but it's a comfortable way to express how I feel.
Anyway, thanks
Posted by habbyshabit on August 21, 2003, at 20:29:49
In reply to Trying to find something out there !!!, posted by ant on August 21, 2003, at 20:10:26
Ant, I'm a little self absorbed right now to go into a long discourse - but I can tell you that it's not death that scares me so much - it's either a new adventure or nothing...it's the dying that scares me. I've witnessed numerous deaths in the past two years. Some quick, neat and tidy. Others long and suffering. Guess it's a crap shoot. Which way will the dice roll for me. That's what I can get scared of. Just my experience. Hope others have more uplifting things to share!
Habby
Posted by Dena on August 25, 2003, at 14:20:25
In reply to Trying to find something out there !!!, posted by ant on August 21, 2003, at 20:10:26
Dear Ant:
I've been holding on to a copy of your post all week, trying to figure out how to respond without getting myself banned again (I guess I'd be banned for 8 weeks this time).
You are NOT alone in the fears & concerns you wrote of. Your post really spoke to me - it gripped me. I understand your fears & your sense that "something's missing". Of course there has to be something more than what we see & experience - how dismal if this is all there is!
There is something more - something incredibly wonderful & beyond imagining. Death is just a passageway into the rest of life, if you choose it for yourself. Not making the choice is also a choice.
What I've discovered for myself is that I'm not here by some sort of random accident. I didn't evolve from anything. The Creator designed me & placed me, on purpose, with my parents who (imperfectly) raised me. All of my past experiences, the good the bad & the ugly, have been used by the Creator to prepare me for the life that He planned for me even before I was born.
Before I even knew Him (though I knew about Him, from a distance), I sensed that something was missing - there had to be a point to all of this. A meaning, a purpose for me, & for others. I couldn't imagine that everyone would die & just "cease" to be. I also had a sense that I was "homesick" for some place I couldn't see. All the sorrow, the suffering, the pain, the misery around me in this world seemed so wrong, so out of place for the way I felt I was designed to live.
And there was so much wrong within me. My parents were highly moral (not religious), & had high demands for my own morality. I tried so hard to "be good", but I continuously failed. And even when I got it right on the outside, with my behavior, my motives, my attitude, my thoughts were far from being good. I was so self-absorbed, so selfish, so unkind in my thoughts. I felt guillty, stained, tainted with "badness" no matter how hard I tried.
I heard people say that God was like a judge. And after we died, He'd weigh all our good deeds & thoughts against our bad deeds & thoughts on a giant scale. Whichever side was the heaviest, would determine our fate. More good = heaven; more bad = punishment (hell).
I was so scared that I'd never be able to get enough good stuff to weigh on my scale. I tried so hard to improve myself, to be good enough. I memorized prayers & psalms. I tried to read the whole Bible through, even as a young child (boy, it was hard to get through all those laws - & they made me feel more guilty!). Still, my insides didn't look too good, no matter what I managed to force myself to do on the outside.
What I believe now is that we can never be good enough, becuase the only acceptable standard is perfection. It's unattainable. The Creator knows that. He never meant for us to earn the right to be with Him. It's simply impossible.
I believe that Jesus Christ is "God in the flesh", 100% God & 100% man, God who came to Earth to live as one of us (now this really blows me away: God, the Creator of the universe, all-knowing, all-present, all-powerful God humbled Himself to become a fetus! In a teenaged girl! He allowed Himself to be born in a cave, surrounded by animals & all the mess that animals make. H grew up under the guidance of human beings. He went through all the awkward stages of life that we do. He never had a home, or owned property, or experienced any of the "niceities" of life that we take for granted). He experienced everything that we do - pain, joy, suffering... & was tempted as we are. But relying on God's strength, He lived His whole life without doing wrong. He lived the perfect life. And He became the perfect sacrifice for the rest of mankind. He died the death to end all spiritual death. He became the link between imperfect man & perfect God. He took on Himself the penalty of every sin that every human would ever commit.
I discovered that once I realized I would never be perfect enough to earn a relationship with God, I realized I needed someone to save me from being forever separated from the God who made & loved me.
I found out what Jesus had done for me, & that He would have done it even if I were the only person on the planet. I thanked Him for His sacrifice for me, & I embraced His gift of eternal life. When I accepted His gift, He came to live inside of me - His spirit now lives with my spirit. He changed me, & He continuously changes me. He speaks to me in my heart & guides my life (but only when I choose to listen - I always have free will). As I submit to Him, He continuously changes me from the self-focused person I was born as, into the God-focused/other-focused, more peaceful, more content, more loving, more connected, more healthy, more balnaced, freer person I was created to be.
Yes, I'll still die a physical death. This body is imperfect & isn't meant to live forever (it's my "earth suit"). But the REAL me, my personality, my emotions, my mind, my will (all of which make up my soul), together with my spirit, will live on throughout eternity in heaven (a real place, where there is no suffering, no pain, no sorrow, no death, only joy & a sense of truly, finally being home) with my Creator & all others who are also there.
This is what I've learned. This is what I've experienced. The more time I spend with Him (in worship with others, in private devotion, in personal conversation with Him, in reading about Him in the Bible), the more I come to know Him. The more I come to know Him, the more I'm aware of His great love for me, just as I am (though He loves me too much to leave me as I am). The more I realize His love for me, the more I love Him in return. The more I love Him, the more I love others, both those who know Him & those who don't.
I'm not afraid of death anymore (pain, I'm not so crazy about - I'm still human!). I know where I'll be for eternity. I know my life is in His hands, & that He's totally trustworthy. I know that everything that happens to me works together for my good, as I let Him transform it. Even the death of my baby can be used for good. I don't see it yet, but I trust Him, & I know that my baby is with Him right now.
I don't have to wonder why I'm here on this planet. He knows, & He reveals to me whatever I need to know moment by moment. He guides my every step - when I let Him (He still lets me go off on my own when I insist, which I all too often do).
I don't have to worry about my future, our finances, my children's health, their education, our health, where we'll live, what we'll eat, what we'll do. He's got it all under His control, & I can trust Him to provide everything we need (not necesarily what we want, but what we need).
I don't have to worry about making mistakes. He knows my heart & my motives. When I make mistakes (& I will as long as I'm alive), He teaches me what was wrong, shows me how to make amends, & forgives me. Repeatedly, if necessary.
I don't have to fret when my husband or children do things that hurt or annoy me. I can go to my heavenly Father with my concerns & He listens & shows me what IN ME needs changing, so that those things don't hurt or annoy me anymore. I can trust Him to speak to the hearts of my husband & children in a way that I can't.
Life is a great adventure with Him, a foretaste of the real life I'll have with Him in eternity. So much better than in the days when I didn't know Him, when I tried to do it on my own terms, when I thought I was in charge, when I was miserable with myself & others, when I was consumed with worries, fears & pain.
I will still suffer & experience pain. But how much better to be able to turn to Him with it all, to trust Him that all things worth together for my good when He's in charge, that He can turn my mourning into joy.
I will love Him & praise Him & trust Him forever! Because He is worthy. Because He loves me, & in Him I'm safe.
Shalom, Dena
Posted by Dr. Bob on August 25, 2003, at 20:09:37
In reply to Re: Trying to find something out there !!!, posted by Dena on August 25, 2003, at 14:20:25
> I've been holding on to a copy of your post all week, trying to figure out how to respond without getting myself banned again
Thanks!
Bob
Posted by Dena on August 26, 2003, at 11:34:04
In reply to Re: Thanks! » Dena, posted by Dr. Bob on August 25, 2003, at 20:09:37
Dr. Bob -
Do you mean I actually managed to post something that was uncompromising to my faith & my God, & yet didn't get me banned? Halleluia! (maybe because this time I prayed first - asking for wisdom in how to stay true w/o being divisive - thanks, God!)
Wonders shall never cease...
Shalom, Dena
P.S. Thanks for the pat on the back, Dr. Bob.
Posted by ant on September 7, 2003, at 17:33:51
In reply to Re: Trying to find something out there !!!, posted by Dena on August 25, 2003, at 14:20:25
Dear Dena,
I have just come back from holidays and have read your post. Thanks for your story and the time you put into me. I think I need to read over you post again a bit more slower and fully grasp all that you are saying.
If its ok with you,perhaps I could ask more questions of you.Thanks again
Ant
Posted by Dena on September 7, 2003, at 17:37:14
In reply to Re: Trying to find something out there !!!, posted by ant on September 7, 2003, at 17:33:51
Ant -
I'm so glad to hear from you! You've been in my prayers since you first wrote. And, of course you may ask more questions! In case we get into any subjects which may get either of us blocked, you can email me directly:
Either way, I'd love to stay in touch!
May God richly bless you & your household!
Shalom, Dena
This is the end of the thread.
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