![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 9 of 9. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by ClearSkies on September 20, 2007, at 16:13:07
Sometimes my self care just goes right out the window. I'll shower and wash my hair, but it feels like if I look in a mirror that I can't actually see myself in entirety. Like if I look at my face, I'll notice my eyes or my lips, but I can't "take in" my whole face. Even when I try really hard, I can't see the whole picture, but just individual bits of myself. (And of course, I don't like what I see but find lots of fault.) Is this disassociation in a mild form?
It's really hard to give yourself a pep talk when you can't even see yourself. :-(
I just feel like I have body parts but not a whole self.
ClearSkies
Posted by Phillipa on September 22, 2007, at 22:40:37
In reply to When you just don't want to look in the mirror, posted by ClearSkies on September 20, 2007, at 16:13:07
Clear Skies I'll answer you read other boards don't post sounds like the stuff from all summer is catching up with you and yes I'd go back on the xanax such a tiny dose. When I look in the mirror all I see is the fat ugly stomach. I wish I had the money and courage for lipo and a tummytuck is this too vain as a last gift to myself as I've always since late 20's wanted a flat totally flat stomach. Even at ll8 5 foot 41/2 it was fat. Now since menopause it has to be the ugliest thing I've ever seen. Bet I'm too old for one there is a cut off line. Phillipa
Posted by LlurpsieNoodle on September 23, 2007, at 8:23:17
In reply to When you just don't want to look in the mirror, posted by ClearSkies on September 20, 2007, at 16:13:07
hi CS,
sounds like a narrowing of attention. your mind is overloaded and is unable to process complex stimuli.Psychological, not physiological is my bet.
Can you think of anything that might be hopping over your defenses right now? Are you finally allowing yourself to process and step back from your probs with stepdaughter, for instance?
This will pass in time. In the meanwhile, don't worry about your grooming. I think you're lovely from the inside AND outside. you have naturally good looks, so it doesn't matter what color (if any) lipstick you wear.
(((((CS)))))
-Ll
sorry it's frightening. yes, it's a mild form of depersonalization, feeling unreal and somehow like your body parts don't belong to you
Posted by ClearSkies on September 23, 2007, at 8:42:34
In reply to Re: When you just don't want to look in the mirror » ClearSkies, posted by LlurpsieNoodle on September 23, 2007, at 8:23:17
It does feel like everything is catching up with me rather quickly here. I *have* to go clothes shopping as my cool weather clothes from several years ago just don't fit this expanded version of me, and we leave for our vacation on Friday. I hate shopping in desperation and while so unhappy with my appearance. Maybe I'll find a bunch of burlap sacks on sale today. Nope, too scratchy.
cs
Posted by LlurpsieNoodle on September 23, 2007, at 9:11:41
In reply to Re: When you just don't want to look in the mirror » LlurpsieNoodle, posted by ClearSkies on September 23, 2007, at 8:42:34
I went to a thrift store and tried on all the things that looked about my size. Because I didn't care about the price (everything was 4-6 bucks) I didn't care about the label.
Ended up with 4 fall skirts (okay one of them is mini- I will need leggings to pull it off)
and 3 sweaters for under 20 bucks. Now THAT was good shopping.
I like Marshalls a lot do they have them where you live?
-Ll
Posted by ClearSkies on September 23, 2007, at 21:16:44
In reply to Re: When you just don't want to look in the mirror » ClearSkies, posted by LlurpsieNoodle on September 23, 2007, at 9:11:41
>
> I like Marshalls a lot do they have them where you live?
>
> -LlI ended up at Bealls, a regional discount store and found some bargoons. It's always trousers that give me the biggest problem - I have short legs but I'm long waisted, so petites don't fit. I found one brand that fits me consistently and they had some fall stuff in. I premedicated for the shopping trip with Xanax so was able to try on multiple outfits without crying. And I've decided that I'll just have to wear my ugly American, comfortable sneakers for walking while I'm on vacation, and look gauche. C'est la vie. The French will just have to get over it. I'm sure they'll all roll their collective eyeballs as I waddle past.
(I *love* Marshalls for everything but clothing around here. Up north it was my favourite place to shop.)
CS
Posted by Phillipa on September 23, 2007, at 21:59:18
In reply to Re: When you just don't want to look in the mirror » LlurpsieNoodle, posted by ClearSkies on September 23, 2007, at 21:16:44
Clear Skies it's in NC too. Don't like it here either. Believe it or not since I tend to wear the same things day after day I got my last jeans and stuff in Nordstrom. They have a fitter who shows up in a second and free any alterations that need to be done are taken care of free and this is jeans. They also have certified bra fitters. Same jeans for two years now. So actually I save there . I know you have them there and the sales people will bring everything to you so you can hide in a dressing room. Only need to let them know what you're looking for. Phillipa
Posted by ClearSkies on September 24, 2007, at 7:56:30
In reply to Re: When you just don't want to look in the mirror » ClearSkies, posted by Phillipa on September 23, 2007, at 21:59:18
> Clear Skies it's in NC too. Don't like it here either. Believe it or not since I tend to wear the same things day after day I got my last jeans and stuff in Nordstrom. They have a fitter who shows up in a second and free any alterations that need to be done are taken care of free and this is jeans. They also have certified bra fitters. Same jeans for two years now. So actually I save there . I know you have them there and the sales people will bring everything to you so you can hide in a dressing room. Only need to let them know what you're looking for. Phillipa
Yes, Nordstroms rocks!! I've used them for "special occasion" shopping but not for every day knocking around clothes. And now, I've left it too long as we leave on Friday. But that's a good strategy for all my clothes shopping anxiety. Thanks!
CS
Posted by Phillipa on September 24, 2007, at 20:51:49
In reply to Re: When you just don't want to look in the mirror » Phillipa, posted by ClearSkies on September 24, 2007, at 7:56:30
Ever consider a personal shopper? She can measure you and you can tell her what you'd like? How bout Talbots? Phillipa
This is the end of the thread.
Psycho-Babble Self-Esteem | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.