![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 67 to 91 of 91. Go back in thread:
Posted by llrrrpp on August 25, 2006, at 13:08:28
In reply to Re: Goals for Friday: Kernel Panic » llrrrpp, posted by Jost on August 25, 2006, at 12:16:11
I was gonna b-mail you and disclose my secret location, but you're hiking, apparently, and don't want to be disturbed.
Posted by llrrrpp on August 26, 2006, at 17:20:36
In reply to Re: Goals for Friday: Kernel Panic » Jost, posted by llrrrpp on August 25, 2006, at 13:08:28
Goals for Saturday
Oh my GOD- could it be? a hint of? a little facial wrinkle that is the start of a smile.
Take it easy, me, because you need some alone time right now, and you're surrounded by a larger-than-life personality. Don't let the stress get to that point again. You know what I mean, at least in hindsight.
And remember the love that the cat gives you. She slept right next to you this afternoon, as you dozed off. She made your tummy warm, and absorbed your negativity, dispersing it with her purrs.
Try to enjoy a movie without being triggered. Remember to ask T how to avoid this. Something about maintaing a realistic 'distance' from events around me. This is a delicate balance, between being triggered (i.e. psychologically immersed in a traumatic scene) and tending towards dissociation, which probably landed me in the depressed abyss to start with. denial and dissociation.
My To Do List has already been satisfied, including:
sleeping
napping
eating seafood (fried clams, oh yeah!)
laundry
fixing the computer- it's better than new. I'm GOOD!
quality time with the cat
drinking the world's best iced coffee.Jost, I have taken 3 units of Vitamin S in solid form, and 150 ml of liquid Vitamin S.
I think I need to eat more protein, though. Does Lindt make protein bars? lol
-ll
Posted by llrrrpp on August 27, 2006, at 0:25:10
In reply to Goals for Saturday » llrrrpp, posted by llrrrpp on August 26, 2006, at 17:20:36
Posted by finelinebob on August 27, 2006, at 1:24:47
In reply to CALLING ALL POSTERS!! TELL US YOUR GOALS 2day! (nm), posted by llrrrpp on August 27, 2006, at 0:25:10
Wake up early, even tho its 2:20am and I have to cycle through my favorite Babble boards at least one more time.
Check to see if my company's web-based CMS is up so I can create the email that is supposed to go out today at 6pm.
Get to Meeting on time, even tho the L train isn't running due to construction.
Meet my dear friends and their two precocious boys in the middle of Grand Central Station, and take them on a tour of Lower Manhattan.
Play with Leyna, play some guitar, Babble, then sleep.
Posted by llrrrpp on August 27, 2006, at 11:44:59
In reply to Re: CALLING ALL POSTERS!! TELL US YOUR GOALS 2day!, posted by finelinebob on August 27, 2006, at 1:24:47
Goals for Sunday
1. delete repeated songs in my iTunes music library, find a few GB, and import some new songs.
2. eat some fruit
3. take my vitamins
4. polish my toenails
5. go to bed at 11:30 pm so that I can wake up at 7:30 on Monday am and get my day started with coffee and some psychobabble before work commences at 9:00 am.
6. go shopping, get something nice for myself that I will use, and that is on sale. (I never shop for myself when I'm not with my husband. I only buy groceries and pharmaceuticals, lol)
7. get my mojo back
not necessarily in that order...******************
My soundtrack today:Don Juan by R. Strauss: Berlin Phil, ideally or Wiener Phil
Sonata # 1 for Violin by C. Ives
Sym # 7 by Beethoven. Cleveland/Szell
Impromptus by F. Chopin. Barto
Posted by llrrrpp on August 27, 2006, at 11:47:15
In reply to Re: CALLING ALL POSTERS!! TELL US YOUR GOALS 2day!, posted by finelinebob on August 27, 2006, at 1:24:47
What is CMS?
It sounds like a nice busy sunday. Have fun with doggy and friends. don't work too hard!
say hi to the ceiling at Grand Central for me?
You forgot to mention taking a nice relaxing hot shower before bedtime? surely an oversight?
-ll
Posted by llrrrpp on August 27, 2006, at 11:57:19
In reply to Re: Goals for Friday: Kernel Panic » llrrrpp, posted by Jost on August 25, 2006, at 12:16:11
Jost,
your difficult non-commital coworker is avoiding duties. I bet she does this to everyone. I know I do!! I had professors breathing down my neck for a couple of years, until they gave up on my collaboration completely. Now, when I mention my progress on various long-lost projects, they seem so grateful and sweet. I guess I just like feeling needed and appreciated, rather than like a research assistant grunt. I'm NOT saying that this is how your collaborator is feeling, I'm just saying that this is one possible outcome of procrastination. I have one paper that is almost ready for publication (um, like for the last 18 months?) and another project that has been percolating for so long, neglected by me, that the data analysis technology has actually surpasses what we originally planned, and designed the study for. I don't think we've been scooped yet, but god knows what's in the pipeline. I have usually gotten around my procrastination issues by picking collaborators who are much more organized and publication-oriented than I.Jost, is this project necessary to finish immediately? Do you have a deadline? If no, can you just give your collaborator some space until she misses the project again, or are you convinced that she will drift away entirely? Would a week of giving her "space" jeopardize the entire project? My guess is that she likes the project, but is feeling guilty about her upcoming coursework, and to minimize her guilt, she'll just avoid opening your emails, or crafting an apporpriate response.
Well. hang in there. it's Sunday. go buy yourself a bagel. mmm!
-ll
Posted by llrrrpp on August 27, 2006, at 12:01:20
In reply to Re: Monday goals (perhaps a suicide trigger*) » llrrrpp, posted by curtm on August 21, 2006, at 17:30:32
> That is wonderful that your hubby passed the test! (salutes) I am proud to have him as a fellow citizen! Please tell him I said that.
>
> A crouton is not a crouton without a lollipop! You can tell him that too, but he might think I'm a little crazy.
>Thank you curtm,
I told him, and he was pleased to have your well-wishes. He wishes he could salute back, but he's not sure of your rank and doesn't want to make a faux-pas. He's most excited to be able to travel with a US passport. It will make life a lot easier for us both.He already thinks you're a little crazy, but that's okay. He thinks I'm a little crazy too, and we get along pretty well.
-llolliporrrppppp
Posted by Jost on August 27, 2006, at 12:56:30
In reply to Re: Goals for Friday: Kernel Panic » Jost, posted by llrrrpp on August 27, 2006, at 11:57:19
Ll, I'll have to scowl at you, then, a lot, for your very sweetly forgiving Profs. Grrrrrrrr.
If only you were right, though.Unf. this is a bit more drastic. I should mention that my coworker is not US citizen. Is studying in US. Is going back to old country at the end of Sept.
Is supposedly coming back in mid Nov. (or not, depending.... on various things....)
I'd explain, except I'd start babbling again. not psychobabbling, just babbling.
Co-w A doesn't seem to have much guilt going. Co-worker C has some-- but I dont' like imposing on it. Am getting a little more unscrupulous, though. She worked with me four times in last week and a half. She';s going to Brazil for two weeks, starting tomorrow. Must have needed money--ie she was the one who really wanted to work, for a change-- I haven't yet become less scrupulous, just contemplating doing that. Lucky me. Made a lot of progress.Right before I woke up this am., I had a short dream that Co-worker B, also in process of semi-scr*wing me, had come an hour earlier than I thought, and that I was sleeping. I was awakened (in dream) by her voice on my answering machine, angrily telling me off, because I hadn't let in her, and she'd been waiting for over half an hour in the hall. ---I felt lousy, since I'd probably screwed things up permanently with her. but it wasn't really my fault... (I"m not sure why, but it seemed as if she wasn't supposed to come that early)
It's different from grad school-- wish I were Prof. and they were students. Think I'd get some R-E-S-P-E-C-T. Also they'd be hanging around for years and years, right down the hall-- captive co-workers, right where I could find them and glare at them from my position of righteous professorship.
then go to faculty meeting, very ostentiously, and as if I were about to give them a bad report. (I'm really mean, underneath any facade of niceness that I manage to mount, if I do.)
Jost.
Posted by llrrrpp on August 27, 2006, at 22:01:31
In reply to Goals for Sunday, plus optional soundtrack, posted by llrrrpp on August 27, 2006, at 11:44:59
> Goals for Sunday
>
> 1. delete repeated songs in my iTunes music library, find a few GB, and import some new songs.
nope
> 2. eat some fruit
yep, made a big fruit salad with apples, pears, pluots and plums> 3. take my vitamins
nope. guess I better take them with my meds.
> 4. polish my toenails
nope. guess I better wear socks.
> 5. go to bed at 11:30 pm so that I can wake up at 7:30 on Monday am and get my day started with coffee and some psychobabble before work commences at 9:00 am.this one is still attainable. I need to commence pre-sleep countdown in 5 minutes.
> 6. go shopping, get something nice for myself that I will use, and that is on sale. (I never shop for myself when I'm not with my husband. I only buy groceries and pharmaceuticals, lol)
yep. I got new shoes. post on social. They are quite cute, and very walkable.
> 7. get my mojo backCrap. just had a big argument with husband. I very much doubt that this was beneficial towards attaining goal 7.
> Don Juan by R. Strauss: Berlin Phil, ideally or Wiener Phil
>
check
> Sonata # 1 for Violin by C. Ives
nope
> Sym # 7 by Beethoven. Cleveland/Szell
check- all 4 mvmts.
> Impromptus by F. Chopin. Barto
nope.
Posted by llrrrpp on August 27, 2006, at 22:11:12
In reply to Re: Goals for Friday: Kernel Panic » llrrrpp, posted by Jost on August 27, 2006, at 12:56:30
> Ll, I'll have to scowl at you, then, a lot, for your very sweetly forgiving Profs. Grrrrrrrr.
OOOOohhhhhh! I'm getting scared. Jost. that grr doesn't go well with your shirt.
> If only you were right, though.
>
> Unf. this is a bit more drastic. I should mention that my coworker is not US citizen. Is studying in US. Is going back to old country at the end of Sept.That's bad news. I'm so sorry.
> I'd explain, except I'd start babbling again. not psychobabbling, just babbling.
>Lucky me. Made a lot of progress.good- hold onto that feeling. progress is progress.
> Right before I woke up this am., I had a short dream that Co-worker B, also in process of semi-scr*wing me, had come an hour earlier than I thought, and that I was sleeping. I was awakened (in dream) by her voice on my answering machine, angrily telling me off, because I hadn't let in her, and she'd been waiting for over half an hour in the hall. ---I felt lousy, since I'd probably screwed things up permanently with her. but it wasn't really my fault... (I"m not sure why, but it seemed as if she wasn't supposed to come that early)
Geez Jost- they are invading your sleep now? Make them go away. Seriously. yuck. You've got a T? Can you talk about this and get some feedback on how to either deal with difficult people more productively OR how best to take your dose of Fukitol. Seriously, work is great, and progress is invigorating, but Life should be LIVED! work is only one thing we do. We do not live in order to maximize our working selves. We should work in order to maximize our living selves. Isn't that some splendid nonsense? I maximized myself a lot today, on that topic. Have decided to pursue a more sensible diet when I get a chance.
> It's different from grad school-- wish I were Prof. and they were students. Think I'd get some R-E-S-P-E-C-T. Also they'd be hanging around for years and years, right down the hall-- captive co-workers, right where I could find them and glare at them from my position of righteous professorship.[...]then go to faculty meeting, very ostentiously, and as if I were about to give them a bad report. (I'm really mean, underneath any facade of niceness that I manage to mount, if I do.)
Jost. I do not respect professors that try to rule through fear. I avoid them. I RESPECT people who make me want to be better. I RESPECT people who listen to me, and know me well enough to tell me how my strengths can help me overcome my weaknesses. I RESPECT people who show kindness and forgiveness in the face of hardship, without losing a sense of what is important to them.
Seriously, this gruff thing doesn't match your shirt. you want to be pompous? fine. maybe I'll work hard for you. In the meanwhile, I'd work on getting out of a position where you had any kind of power over me.
-ll
.
Posted by Jost on August 27, 2006, at 23:49:33
In reply to Re: Goals for Sunday, update, posted by llrrrpp on August 27, 2006, at 22:01:31
> >
> Crap. just had a big argument with husband. I very much doubt that this was beneficial towards attaining goal 7.
>
>
> >Oh-oh. Been there, done that. --
Last day of vacaiety attack was not so great.
Probably tomorrow, your mojo will start to return. Sorry about the fight.
It's amazing how quickly things turn around, both for good and ill.
Maybe listen to a Brahms symphony?
Jost
Posted by finelinebob on August 28, 2006, at 0:20:04
In reply to Re: CALLING ALL POSTERS!! TELL US YOUR GOALS 2day!, posted by finelinebob on August 27, 2006, at 1:24:47
> Wake up early, even tho its 2:20am and I have to cycle through my favorite Babble boards at least one more time.
Did that too much, way too much.
> Check to see if my company's web-based CMS is up so I can create the email that is supposed to go out today at 6pm.Yep. 5am, the Content Management System was up and I got the email out. Managed to stay awake until 7:30am.
> Get to Meeting on time, even tho the L train isn't running due to construction.Yeah, right, lol. I had five different alarms set, and one finally woke me at 11:45.
> Meet my dear friends and their two precocious boys in the middle of Grand Central Station, and take them on a tour of Lower Manhattan.Tho it brings up horrid visions of Peter Cetera leading Chicago, it was another rainy day in New York City. Didn't see much outdoors, but we hopped around so much that they now know how to take advantage of the subways and buses like pros. Had a very nice walk through the Village, then down Canal to Chinatown and Little Italy. Canal was tough, tho, because if you knew where to look you could see the hole in the sky -- plus the construction cranes were visible and the poor Deutsche Bank building. Too much lingering grief there, but my friends didn't need to know about that. Later on wound up at Lombardi's for some pizza and then Veniero's for some Italian desserts ... I got way too many cannoli to take home with me.
(Lombardi's is the "1st" pizzeria in the US ... 1905. Only one left in NYC with a coal-fired pizza oven. If you like thin crust, this is the best you can get. Veniero's is 11 years older -- 1894 -- and is the most awesome Italian bakery around.)
> Play with Leyna, play some guitar, Babble, then sleep.Got back too late for guitar. Leyna wouldn't NOT have me play with her. Nope, no shower before bed. I need it more in the morning. Sleep? Yeah, guess I should. Gotta work tomorrow.
Posted by Jost on August 28, 2006, at 0:20:48
In reply to Jost's nightmares » Jost, posted by llrrrpp on August 27, 2006, at 22:11:12
Oh, Ll. Dont take me so seriously.
I wasn't really grrrrr-ing. And what's wrong with my shirt? So it's got a big coffee stain on the middle of the front, just below a button. I can't help it if coffee dribbles.
The day that I rule by fear will be the millenium (the next one). Or the apocalypse.
I''ll make a note, though:
"LL does not take kindly to unkindly Profs., or jokes thereupon. Also, Ll is very sensitive on this subject, since being in graduate school can put a damper on one's sense of humor re: unkindly Profs. Do not joke or otherwise take subject lightly. "
So noted.
As for what I would do in the hallway, if I saw my erstwhile co-worker-- from whom, by the way, I have not heard-- the likelihood of my acting in any way threateningly, or frighteningly, is about zero.
And remember, I'm not a Prof. --- Although: Coulda,woulda,shoulda.
But also, understand that my work is my life-- not because it's "work," but because it's when I feel alive. I really don't want to get into it, esp. when you're a bit out of sorts w/me, but we all live differently and for different reasons.
Incidentally, I respect people that I respect--for reasons having little (or nothing) to do with whether they command fear, love, liking, comradery, or opposition. I may feel more comfortable with some than others-- absolutely-- but respect isn't comfort or even benefit.
Probably after a while, I could resent or avoid people who scare me too much, but I would still respect them if they had other qualities that I respected or admired, which they might.
My T is away for another two weeks, and offline, or off the grid. Plus we don't do well on the phone. We;ve talked a lot at times about my complicated feelings about the people I work with, and myself in relation to them. And I'm sure we'll talk more.Sorry you are unhappy with certain professors--or me--though. Grad school can be a b*tch. So can I, undoubtedly.
Sleep tight tonight. Maybe tomorrow will be better.
Jost
Posted by llrrrpp on August 28, 2006, at 7:08:13
In reply to Re: Jost's nightmares » llrrrpp, posted by Jost on August 28, 2006, at 0:20:48
1.write a to-do list that merits 5 good hours of work on a cruddy Monday.
2. Get started on aforementioned list by 8:30 am, shortly after babble-check and coffee run.
3. Try to convince Jost that I'm not grumpy at him. I think Jost's great. Sorry about the miscommunication. If you really want to be angry, you need to switch coffee-stained shirt for a really itchy one that's max 9.99 at wal-mart, about 2 sizes too small and wear a really tight belt. That's enough to make even the tamest Jost really grumpy. And if you want to turn grumpy into threatening or frightening, just add 200mg caffeine :o) I'm kinda touchy about difficult profs, being surrounded by them, and dependent on them like never before in my life. Fortunately my advisor is kind, if somewhat neglectful. While I try to avoid the office intrigue, the fight for being alpha-grad student is kind of grating over time, and I've been at this for some time now...
4. Help husband prepare for bbq party tonight
4.1. Reacquire mojo, preferably via cuddling than verbal sparring.
5. Use q-tip to get the water out of my ears.
6. Smile at the first 3 people I see today.
7. Find something beautiful in the midst of... what feels like the prelude to Autumn
8. Brahms 2nd Sym. via process of elimination. 1 is too recent and raw, having just performed it, I'll only be humming the 1st violin part, rather than absorbing the Gestalt. 3 is too melancholy and intimate. 4 is too bold and manly.
******************And a Haiku alluding to my stimulant regime...
More daffodils at
seven-thirty this morning,
smell the coffee now?
Posted by curtm on August 28, 2006, at 8:18:41
In reply to Goals for Monday » Jost, posted by llrrrpp on August 28, 2006, at 7:08:13
1. Finish typing 90 pages of steel material required for purchase orders.
2. Babble breaks as necessary to maintain sanity.
3. Clean son's room from play tornado that destroyed it this weekend.
4. Babble breaks as necessary to maintain sanity.
5. Get spare keys made for the house and garage if I can remember.
6. Babble breaks as necessary to maintain sanity.
Have a productive day everyone.
Curt
Posted by llrrrpp on August 28, 2006, at 20:47:37
In reply to Goals for Monday » Jost, posted by llrrrpp on August 28, 2006, at 7:08:13
> 1.write a to-do list that merits 5 good hours of work on a cruddy Monday.
Yep! I actually ran out of to-do list. Had to create a blog to deal with excess productivity.
> 2. Get started on aforementioned list by 8:30 am, shortly after babble-check and coffee run.
hmm. I kind of babbled and blogged until 10:15. took a 2 hour lunch break, and quit at 4. That's pretty good for me though.
> 3. Try to convince Jost that I'm not grumpy at him. I think Jost's great. Sorry about the miscommunication. If you really want to be angry, you need to switch coffee-stained shirt for a really itchy one that's max 9.99 at wal-mart, about 2 sizes too small and wear a really tight belt. That's enough to make even the tamest Jost really grumpy. And if you want to turn grumpy into threatening or frightening, just add 200mg caffeine :o) I'm kinda touchy about difficult profs, being surrounded by them, and dependent on them like never before in my life. Fortunately my advisor is kind, if somewhat neglectful. While I try to avoid the office intrigue, the fight for being alpha-grad student is kind of grating over time, and I've been at this for some time now...
Jost's gotta give me an update on this particular goal.
> 4. Help husband prepare for bbq party tonightcancelled. Ate very very delicious plump sushi instead. fantastic. Salmon, Yellowtail, Tuna, Salmon Roe, Striped Bass, Fluke (my mascot), (no clams, no king crab... alas) Also some lovely maki rolls. mmm. my favorite source of omega 3 fatty acids.
> 4.1. Reacquire mojo, preferably via cuddling than verbal sparring.
reacquired.
> 5. Use q-tip to get the water out of my ears.
yep
> 6. Smile at the first 3 people I see today.
um, do online interactions count? I only spoke with 3 people IRL today, but I smiled at all of them.
> 7. Find something beautiful in the midst of... what feels like the prelude to AutumnBridges in the misty drizzle. A real life black and white scene.
> 8. Brahms 2nd Sym. via process of elimination. 1 is too recent and raw, having just performed it, I'll only be humming the 1st violin part, rather than absorbing the Gestalt. 3 is too melancholy and intimate. 4 is too bold and manly.
Nope. Arvo Part instead. Wasn't in a symphonic mood. more of a Kammermusik mood.
> ******************
>
> And a Haiku alluding to my stimulant regime...
>
> More daffodils at
> seven-thirty this morning,
> smell the coffee now?The coffee made your
Stomach feel so weird that you
Turned down a refill
Posted by Jost on August 28, 2006, at 23:00:40
In reply to Re: Goals for Monday: update, posted by llrrrpp on August 28, 2006, at 20:47:37
Well, if I had goals, I didn't accomplish them, unless they were sitting around feeling kind of sick. Maybe it's a minor virus, or end of summer slump. Or no sleep.
Had a nightmare last night. One of the few since beginning Emsam, ie early May. Can't remember it, but it was much more fantastical than my bad dream of the othernight. Probably had to do with my "co-worker"-- since that's the main thing on my mind. Although things here are also on my mind. Maybe merged together.
L (not LL, just L, my co-worker) and I had originally scheduled today, and I had emailed her twice last week, cancelling today and rest of month, if she didn't have times I could do. Both emails asked her to get in touch right away. Didn't hear anything. She's gotten back to me promptly before. So two emails and a week was out of character.
Then, she came today and rang the bell, and called from somewhere, I assume to say she was in the neighborhood. Since I wasn't dressed--and felt sick, and completely out of sorts, and afraid to be pressured by her, since I always cave--I didn't answer the door. After a few minutes of extreme guilt, I turned the phone off. Guess that's really bad.
She sent me a rather indignant email, saying I should have called her if I was changing at the last minute. Thing was, it wasn't the last minute, and we've scheduled everything by email for several months, and never used the phone.
I can't work with her, because rapport is too important in being able to work. That's where I'm really weak. I want, or need, the person to want to be there, to be committed to working-- even if it's not their work. It's hard to explain.
She also said that she was trying to work out times that would work for me. Bottom line, I don't believe her.
If that were at all true, she would have emailed a week ago, saying she what she said today-- that she was trying to work on the schedule-- Even as it was, she only offered me two times, both this week, one of which I can't do because I've already scheduled something else a long time ago.
I should have gone to the door. I should have been able to say, L, we can't work together anymore-- you defaulted on your commitment from early on, which reduced our time a lot, and now it's become clear that you aren't being straight with me. So this is it. I'm sorry. Thanks for your effort so far.
Period. End of story.
Unf. that's not something I can do. Emsam or no Emsam.
Life might be a zero-sum game, and if so, I'm playing for the other side.
I'm going to bed. I'm going to take a bunchof xanax, Ambien, neurontin, carisoprodol, and anything else I can think of that might help me get to sleep.
Tomorrow someone whom I agreed to try working with (I try it for a day or two or more) is very likely going to call either at 9 am or right before noon, or 45 minutes before she's supposed to be here (best guesses), saying that a) she unexpectedly got a great job that precludes our working, b) her grandmother died (sorry, but I've gotten that so much, for some reason), c) her rehearsal went much longer than she expected, and she can't make it-- and never call back or d) something else to that effect.
I'm pretty sure, because she seemed not to realize until after accepting, some very important aspects of the job, that she also seemed not too happy about.
My goal for tomorrow is not to get too obsessed with that whole thing.
I'm not at all grumpy with you, Ll. I appreciated your words today.
I almost order a lot of stuff online today, including some boots, on clearance--inspired by Ll. Then someone saw what I was ordering, and said, Do you Really Really Want those boots that much????? Person thinks I have way too many boots--a point made rather frequently. I happen to love boots, esp 10" work boots, esp vintage-- although these weren't-- Person thinks boots are a waste of money. I said--um Not Really. Then person, feeling somewhat guilty, said--well you should buy them, if you want them. Then I decided not to buy them, because if I didn't like them (and you can't tell, since they aren't vintage), I'd never hear the end of it.. But I got UV sunglasses-with light blue lenses. Just cause. Maybe I should have gotten the orange, or pink lenses?
Jost
Posted by llrrrpp on August 29, 2006, at 5:24:05
In reply to Re: Goals for Monday: update (long), posted by Jost on August 28, 2006, at 23:00:40
hi jost,
so sorry you're feeling crappy. I've been up since 4:30. Attempted to meditate my way back into sleep waves, but no such luck.llbean is good therapy. Take it easy on yourself. You've been doing really well, and it's okay to have a bad day here and there. Funny how feeling sick seems to happen at the moment when we are most psychologically vulnerable huh? Like when my tooth broke, and I was, as they say in German-- voellig am Ende-- totally at the end. No coping mechanisms whatsoever.
Your goal to sleep is a good one. I hope that cocktail of sleepidrugs is not too hard on your system.
(((((((((((Jost)))))))))))))
Screw the coworkers. It's your turn, after all.
-ll *not beaned*
p.s. my sunglasses have blue tinted lenses. They make me feel cool and hip. Definitely boost any confidence by 30%. I hope yours have the same effect.
Posted by curtm on August 29, 2006, at 8:41:25
In reply to Re: Goals for Monday, posted by curtm on August 28, 2006, at 8:18:41
> 1. Finish typing 90 pages of steel material required for purchase orders.
20 pages left. Hope to finish today.
> 2. Babble breaks as necessary to maintain sanity.Check.
> 3. Clean son's room from play tornado that destroyed it this weekend.Mom and son did it today while I was at work. She's watching him since there is no day care this week.
> 4. Babble breaks as necessary to maintain sanity.Check.
> 5. Get spare keys made for the house and garage if I can remember.Oops. I forgot...again. But wrote myself a note.
> 6. Babble breaks as necessary to maintain sanity.Check.
I don't feel as productive as I should have been, but I did finish sawing concrete patio blocks last night. Hooray.
Curt
Posted by Jost on August 29, 2006, at 11:48:43
In reply to Results from Monday, posted by curtm on August 29, 2006, at 8:41:25
1. Ponder response to L (not Ll)'s messages. Do not trust L to play it straight. Know L has ulterior motives, and has shown strong likelihood not to play fair.
Yet do not totally want to make it impossible for L and me to work, if there's some way that I can get what I want.
Probably not going to happen. But will ponder.
2. Wait for phone call from new person. probably 45 minutes before supposed arrival. likely rehearsal went too late. Although may come. Probably will not be good. Yay. I'm in highly positive frame of mind.
3. Frequent Babble breaks. Must check all Babble sites, for possible new posts. Then check again, because new posts may have been posted since I last checked.
4. Do exercise
5. Go outside, even though day is dismal to a faretheewell. and rainy. Must go outside. Have not been outside since return from vacation on Sat.
4. do some research about Elgin Watch Company. Da*n it. Just do it.
5. read some in book about Freya Stark, mideast traveller/negotiator
6. More babble, if I haven't already. (although I have.)
7. Miscellaneous
Jost
PS I forgot: get dressed!
Posted by llrrrpp on August 29, 2006, at 13:00:52
In reply to Re: Plans for Tuesday, posted by Jost on August 29, 2006, at 11:48:43
Goals for today:
1)make goals for today list
check2)gather my stuff from 4 rooms into one corner of one room
check3)maintain sanity via maintaining sanity of others.
a work in progress4)eat lunch
check (cheeseburger with grilled onions, ketchup, mustard, thousand island sauce, pickle, iceberg lettuce, and one of the jewels of summer: thick slice of ripe tomato. Tavern owner brings them from his garden!5)yawn
*yawn*6)read vanity fair (the magazine, not the novel). Kate Moss' crotch somehow got edited off of the cover. There's a mysterious dark cloud over that region.
7)check
check!8)shed some tears, sympathetic with the sky...
9)get more than 3.5 hours of sleep tonight
-ll
not L. thank goodness. don't wanna be the object of Jost's abject pondering.
Posted by llrrrpp on August 31, 2006, at 7:40:01
In reply to Re: Plans for Tuesday, posted by llrrrpp on August 29, 2006, at 13:00:52
My goals today:
1. Feel good about my work via collecting some data2. Feel good about my health via shopping at farmer's market and doing some exercises. Already did 2 sets of arm exercises. Alarmed at my weakness, but at least I did something about it.
3. Feel good about something else. Anything.
4. Wonder where 4 nights of insomnia and cumulative sleep deprivation came from.
5. Resurrect the to-do list in the polka-dot notebook. It's been neglected for a whole 18 hours.
6. A genuine smile. To savor. and remember.
Heavy heart today. very tired. cannot sleep more than 5 hours for the 4th night in a row. woke up with the same headache. had some bad dreams. self-criticism started talking to me sometime this week, and I think my session with T made it crescendo to a roar. I am getting weak from resisting it, monitoring and trying to counter my own unproductive and malicious cognitive illusions. It's hard work, and I think my prefrontal cortex is not quite prepared for this battle on all fronts.
Posted by Poet on August 31, 2006, at 8:41:21
In reply to Thursday, Thunderday, day of Thor., posted by llrrrpp on August 31, 2006, at 7:40:01
Get a new job.
Poet
Posted by Jost on August 31, 2006, at 10:26:09
In reply to Jumping to Friday, posted by Poet on August 31, 2006, at 8:41:21
Yay!!
Congratulations.
Want to tell a little about it?
Jost
This is the end of the thread.
Psycho-Babble Self-Esteem | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.