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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 5 of 5. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by OzLand on August 9, 2007, at 20:07:38
I used to have an eating disorder but not for the past 20 some years. I was really thin, and now I am overweight, and I hate it. With trying to work on stuff in therapy and having some other stressers in my life, major ones, I find myself not eating at all. Last ate on Tuesday except for some soup brother yesterday. Tonight husband made dinner, and I ate it and had to go vomit it up. He can't know as it was sweet of him to fix dinner. My therapist and I are working on csa issues, but he is an eating disorder specialist as well. I don't want him to know what I am doing--I hinted once but he is new therapist. I should tell him tomorrow, but then what. I can afford to lose 30 pounds or more, but it is what I do to get there that then becomes something I can't stop. What has anyone else done to put a stop to things before they really get out of control.
OzLand
Posted by Racer on August 11, 2007, at 1:27:07
In reply to Worried falling back into eating disorder, posted by OzLand on August 9, 2007, at 20:07:38
Um... I think you're fully aware that whether or not you "can afford" to lose weight, that's not really the issue. Just the fact that you've put it that way tells me you're already in trouble. Besides, it's the behavior that shouts out "TROUBLE!"
I know you've been pretty well inundated lately. Things with the new T, your other situation, etc. That's a ton of stress, and I'll bet your mature, healthy coping mechanisms have all been frayed by the deluge. In that situation, it's not so surprising you've gone back to something that worked in the past. It's safe, it's familiar, and you've probably run out of other options for self-care. And eating disorders are so seductive!
Maybe if you look at it from that perspective? Or if you make a bargain with yourself, that you won't purge? At least reduce the damage you do, even if you can't stop the cycle entirely?
I really hope you do tell your T, because I think we both know that NOT telling him is all about the eating disorder...
Good luck, and I really hope things improve for you soon.
Posted by Meri-Tuuli on August 12, 2007, at 15:35:09
In reply to Worried falling back into eating disorder, posted by OzLand on August 9, 2007, at 20:07:38
Hello
I don't think you know me, but anyway. I'm really sorry about the situation over on admin etc. I hope things will sort themselves out.
Well about your post, perhaps just dieting sensibly and eating and exercising heathily? Nothing at all radical. And I think its good to only eat for you. I have had problems eating in past because I felt I had to please the other person who had cooked it for me - but I really think that its also good to know that its perfectly ok to eat just want you feel like, and not to take too much into account the feelings of others. I know this is hard (at least for me!). I mean, people generally accept that everyone eats differently, has different apetites, so I think its fine to say that you can't/don't want to feel like eating something.
And lets not forget, one meal is not going to going to make you gain 10lbs.
Just try not to be radical or black and white with your thinking. Thats how I find myself slipping into unhealthy weight control mechanisms.......
Kind regards
Meri
Posted by Poet on August 12, 2007, at 21:33:21
In reply to Worried falling back into eating disorder, posted by OzLand on August 9, 2007, at 20:07:38
Hi Ozland,
I know that you might not be posting much anymore, but it's okay to babblemail me. I'm curious if you told your T. I never talk to my T about bulimia because she once told me that if I ever get out of control she'll refer me to someone with more expertise. So I don't tell her even though I should. Big long sigh.
Anxiety causes me to eat, eating causes me to binge, bingeing causes me to purge. Thinking about csa can start the whole cycle going. I'm trying reframing my thoughts for other things, so for bulimia I repeat "bingeing will not make my anxiety go away." At least it takes my mind off what is triggering the need to binge/purge, though I cannot say it has a one hunder percent success rate.
Poet
Posted by RealMe on August 19, 2007, at 22:11:39
In reply to Re: Worried falling back into eating disorder » OzLand, posted by Poet on August 12, 2007, at 21:33:21
Oh crap; I wrote a response and then deleted it instead of sending it. I am just really upset tonight as I think I just had it confirmed that I am a really disgusting person as a result of some of my history. I am also really overweight and can't seem to lose no matter if I eat or not. I did talk to my therapist; he is right. When you don't eat, your metabolism shuts down. He told me to eat six snacks per day of 220 calories each and I will lose weight. HE knows now what I used to be like too. I gave him a picture of me when if was skin and bones. For around 10 years I was a normal weight and got used to it, but as I started to get depressed, I started munching on all the wrong things and am now around 50 pounds overweight. Funny thing is that all my clothes are loser, and people ask if I am losing weight. But I am not. I still weigh the same. I need to go to bed as I can't stop crying myself. Sorry.
RealMe (OzLand)
This is the end of the thread.
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