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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 4 of 4. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Deneb on February 23, 2006, at 17:28:04
I hate this so much. I'm supposed to be trying to lose weight, not gain weight. I keep eating too much of the wrong foods. My Mom keeps buying potato chips and cake and other junk food. I eat when I'm bored or procrastinating.
I hate making myself throw up. It's really disgusting to me. I keep screwing up my diet. I don't want to be fat. I must lose weight. I feel like getting some Xenical or something to lose weight. I don't know if a doctor will prescribe it since I'm technically not overweight.
Why do I eat when I'm not hungry? It just makes me feel bad afterwards. I just want to lose weight...how I wish I could be 95 pounds. I'm only 4'11" so 95 pounds would not be underweight for me.
I'm fat...I hate how I'm fat. I hate my fat sooo much. I just want to be thin. I hate my thick legs...they are unnatural.
I don't want to develop an eating disorder. I gave in today and threw up after I ate some cake. I just wanted to throw up more a few minutes ago, but I stopped myself somehow. I hate it...it's really gross to me. I need to stop stuffing my face.
Deneb
Posted by Racer on February 24, 2006, at 1:37:14
In reply to I keep over-eating *ED trigger*, posted by Deneb on February 23, 2006, at 17:28:04
This is what therapy is about -- helping you find out why you eat when you're not hungry, which is very common, and finding ways not to do it. And certainly not to throw up.
But there's more -- with all your ranting about being fat and not wanting to be fat, you haven't said anything about the whys. What does fat mean to you, that makes it such a bad thing? What does it mean to you not to weigh 95#? And why is that number special to you?
Deneb, I hope you will get adequate treatment. Every few weeks in not nearly enough, and if you're finding new symptoms to be bothered by, then you're just showing again how inadequate it is for you. You NEED more intensive therapy, so that you can stop these things.
And the therapy for this will be more about how to stop this from affecting you so much, and less with how to lose the weight.
By the way, your post did trigger my own "I can't stand being this fat" issues. I'm not writing to you about something I don't know from the inside. I did weigh 95# until about a year ago, and I am not adjusting at all well to my current weight. What's more, no matter how little I eat these days, I can't lose weight. I'm suffering, I'm sure all the people here on this board are suffering, too. Please don't feel that you have to develop a full blown eating disorder to get attention. You've got enough going on without it, and you'd be surprised how rapidly it becomes a real problem.
Posted by Deneb on February 24, 2006, at 22:44:49
In reply to Re: I keep over-eating *ED trigger*, posted by Racer on February 24, 2006, at 1:37:14
I think the problem is with me trying to diet. My GP said I was 4 pounds overweight (not sure what chart she used, but BMI says I'm not overweight). I can't seem to diet without either restricting calories to less than 1000 or over-eating and throwing up.
When I don't diet I'm absolutely fine. I can maintain my weight without effort and I'm not obsessed with food. The problem is that my natural set point for weight is higher than what I would like it to be.
When I start thinking that I must lose weight I end up trying to find short cuts to weight loss. I get really desperate.
I don't think I really have an eating disorder yet. I have OK eating habits despite the occasional junk food and throwing up. Throwing up is not pleasurable to me at all, it's punishment to me. I don't like doing it but sometimes I force myself to do it because I feel guilty about eating junk food.
It's OK to not reply to me Racer, I'm mostly talking to myself.
Deneb
Posted by slavegirl on October 16, 2006, at 13:38:40
In reply to I keep over-eating *ED trigger*, posted by Deneb on February 23, 2006, at 17:28:04
I know what you're saying...it's that whole 'I want to lose 'some' or a lot of weight...and the more you know about it, or feel awful about the way you look / weigh..or perceive yourself to be...the worse you binge - THAT'S ME...and I'm eating myself into a coma.....its getting serious.... I HATE MYSELF lately! Not nice to say...but there ...it's out. Huge hugs to you.
This is the end of the thread.
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