Shown: posts 1 to 5 of 5. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Alita on June 25, 2006, at 14:26:43
Hello,
I'm fairly new to this site but oh so glad I found you .... I have been struggling on and off with Bulemia since high school. Lately I've been experiencing a lot of scary symptoms and undergoing tests and I'm scared to death of finding out the results. Not that they will find anything too serious, but that they will find that I did this all to myself! I am scheduled for a colonoscopy because of chronic constipation possibly from laxative abuse. New symptoms may also lead to an endoscopy. After eating, food feels like it's "stuck" halfway and ironically the only relief I get is to purge. And even the consistency of that is scary .... UGH. It's just a vicious cycle! I am only 40 years old and of reasonable intelligence .... enough to know that this is so stupid and I have to stop!!
Anyway, thanks for letting me share. It is nice to know I'm not alone in this fight.
Posted by cloudydaze on June 25, 2006, at 20:05:58
In reply to What have I done to my body?, posted by Alita on June 25, 2006, at 14:26:43
> Hello,
> I'm fairly new to this site but oh so glad I found you .... I have been struggling on and off with Bulemia since high school. Lately I've been experiencing a lot of scary symptoms and undergoing tests and I'm scared to death of finding out the results. Not that they will find anything too serious, but that they will find that I did this all to myself! I am scheduled for a colonoscopy because of chronic constipation possibly from laxative abuse. New symptoms may also lead to an endoscopy. After eating, food feels like it's "stuck" halfway and ironically the only relief I get is to purge. And even the consistency of that is scary .... UGH. It's just a vicious cycle! I am only 40 years old and of reasonable intelligence .... enough to know that this is so stupid and I have to stop!!
> Anyway, thanks for letting me share. It is nice to know I'm not alone in this fight.I hope you can find the strength to recover, and I hope your tests come back with good results. I haven't experienced bullemia, but I've struggled with anorexia for a long time - finally i am recovering. At least you know that what you are doing is dangerous and detrimental to your health - and that you need to stop. Sometimes admitting there's a problem is the hardest part (almost as hard as breaking the habit). I wish you the best of luck - sorry i couldn't be much help.
Posted by Racer on June 26, 2006, at 10:39:04
In reply to Re: What have I done to my body?, posted by cloudydaze on June 25, 2006, at 20:05:58
I don't have any direct experience with bulimia, either, but I do know that there are a couple of medications that sometimes help. Metoclopramide is the most used these days, to help improve gastric motility. Cisapride is the better drug for it, but that's much less often used, because it can cause some cardiac problems.
And I think it's well worth checking into support groups and therapy in your area, to help deal with the whole, "I did this to myself" thing. Here's the thing: you were sick. Would you blame yourself for Type I diabetes? After all, it would be your pancreas that wasn't working well. Same difference. You were sick, now you're working at getting better. I think focussing on that would help a lot.
Good luck.
Posted by ElaineM on June 27, 2006, at 12:03:47
In reply to What have I done to my body?, posted by Alita on June 25, 2006, at 14:26:43
Hi Alita, Waiting for test results can be beyond scary. I've had alot of trouble with chronic constipation myself. I've never had bulimia, but when I was sickest with anorexia my intestines pretty much shut down from lack of solid foods going through. Pretty embarassing stuff to talk about huh? I know a colonoscopy is not exactly the greatest procedure to go through, but it's better than not. Doctors need to know, before they can help. (not that that makes going through it any easier)
As far as help goes, I was prescribed an osmotic laxative (which isn't as dangerous as stimulant ones), and various other pills. And when I was in treatment, most of us (A and B) were on Motilium (which helps with motility and reflux). With the constipation, my docs always said that one of the best things you can do to get your intestinal tract moving properly is to make sure that you have regular-portion food intakes at regular intervals - it is hard for the body to restore while still being symptomatic. (easier said than done, I know) It's good that you started seeing a doc (gastroenterologist?)
I think you're pretty brave continuing to go through with all your tests, even though the anxiety is brutal. Try to be kinder to yourself. It's hard to not have that what-did-I-do? feeling with ED's. I'm trying to get myself to believe that, in developing my ED, my mind was doing the best it could, at the time, to find a way to cope. I was trying to save myself and make it through any way how. Unfortunately, certain ways of coping are dangerous. I don't believe that finding it hard to recover is a sign of any unintelligence on your part (or any of ours). Actually, I think the fact that your trying to take care of yourself now is a sign of intelligence. And I guess that's where support groups and therapy comes in. I do think it's a good idea to find others to talk with who know what it's like.
You aren't alone :) Sometimes ED's feel like such a prison that it's easy to forget that.
courage, Elaine
Posted by Poet on June 28, 2006, at 9:51:04
In reply to What have I done to my body?, posted by Alita on June 25, 2006, at 14:26:43
Hi Alita,
Bulimia is a vicious cycle. I'm 48 and think I'm reasonably intelligent, too. I've gotten to where it's major anxiety that creates the urge to binge/purge. I can call my therapist. I can post here. I can take anti anxiety meds. All of which I do, but that urge to binge and purge is still lurking there.
I can't tell you why you did this to your body, because I can't tell you why I do it to mine. Sorry, wish I could.
Good luck with the tests. Please post how you're doing.
Poet
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