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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 4 of 4. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by LOOPS on August 11, 2005, at 20:13:03
Hello there -
just found this board as I usually post on alternative. Just wanted to say hello and will people please post some more!
Well I've been struggling on and off with first anorexia at..yes, you guessed it, the magical age of 15 - which then abated for a few years, only to return with full-on bulimia at University. Been battling this for around 8 years now - seems to go away when I'm "happy", only to return with a vengeance when I'm not very happy.
Anway, anyone who reads the alternative board will know I'm currently taking heaps of fish oil, some GLA (evening primrose oil), various supplements and am generally doing better. Well....most of the time. Right now I'm struggling with bulimia again, simply because I am alone most of the day and things have gotten quite emotionally stressful round here.
I too have a dichotomy of wanting to be healthy, yet struggling with a very unhealthy preoccupation with my body and how thin my stomach/thighs/*rse are on any given minute or day.
The only thing sometimes stopping me from being completely engulfed once more in the horrors of alternating bingeing/purging/restricting is not wanting to end up the overdosed mess in hospital I was quite a few years back. I couldn't think straight from all the purging. These days I know that eating good food = feeling better = thinking straighter, and that b/p = feeling worse = not being able to think straight.....and...in the end...gaining weight due to a body's last attempts at holding on to weight. In fact this was the last realization I had that pushed me into trying to find a compromise or at least work towards recovery.
Right now I am at a very healthy weight, but still struggle with that dark part of my mind, which still gets the better of me. The physical/emotional pain never seems to really go away, and the panic after eating a large meal still haunts me, despite me doing better generally.
Some general things I have found useful and still do regarding eating:
PROTEIN. Because my blood sugar goes all over the place if I don't get enough of this. If in doubt always try to eat some lean meat (if fat causes you a problem) - turkey, red meat (especially red meat), tuna - you name it. I would say if it is a choice between an apple and a piece of meat, go for the meat. Especially protein first thing in the morning.
Well I suddenly have to go now, but I will continue this in another post. Anyway, enough waffling and I just wanted to give a warm hug to everyone here suffering and please post more!
Loops
Posted by 4WD on August 14, 2005, at 22:45:35
In reply to Hello people wake up board!, posted by LOOPS on August 11, 2005, at 20:13:03
Hi.
Sorry but I just had to tell you... the minute I saw the word "waffling" I immediately got this visual of a huge stack of waffles dripping with butter and syrup. I'm eight months into recovery from bulimia (with one or two slips) and I still have big issues. Obviously.
Marsha
Posted by Racer on August 15, 2005, at 12:43:40
In reply to Hello people wake up board!, posted by LOOPS on August 11, 2005, at 20:13:03
I've been blocked, or I would have posted this sooner...
Thank you for showing up, and come back often.
I'm middle-aged, and anorexic. Since last November, I've gained about 40 pounds, and still have a bit to go -- and am totally freaked out by the weight gain, teetering between trying to restrict again, freaking out because I can't anymore, and trying to meet my meal plan and be healthy.
One thing that sometimes spurs me on to healthy eating is the promise that my metabolism will recover, and I won't gain weight so easily if I can just stay in a healthy range. That only works sometimes, but it's the most helpful thing for me to remember.
What really befuddles me about it all is *why* I should be so fixated on what my body looks like? Even though I kinda know the other things about me that are valuable, and I can name things about my looks that I like, I still can't get past this idea that I'm supposed to be thin. Add in a certain amount of distortion about what I actually look like, and there's a recipe for disaster.
Lately, what's really been scaring me is that I have such an urge to empty my stomach after eating. I try to tell myself that the awful over-full feeling will go away in an hour, but that doesn't work -- especially since it takes so long for the feeling to go away! Often, I'm uncomfortable for two or three hours before it finally feels normal again.
While I'm sorry that you're dealing with this too, I'm glad to have someone else here who understands.
Posted by LOOPS on August 31, 2005, at 18:25:02
In reply to I second the motion » LOOPS, posted by Racer on August 15, 2005, at 12:43:40
Hello again -
sorry about that big pause there - was busy trying to turn my life around as usual.
So I'm quite impressed with myself as it's been 3 weeks since I last binged and purged. The first few days were pretty crap, but I made it. Mind you, I have to admit I am following a high fat low carb eating plan right now. That means NO RESTRICTING which is good for me, and also I don't feel the need to b/p as I am satisfied.
Have to say though, the first week was really awful as I was so tired and peed off. However the second week things really started looking up and now I'm feeling loads better, which is a plus.
I know, I know....restricting carbs is still restriction, but I don't care as long as I'm eating, getting lots of veggies and more importantly NOT THROWING UP. Also this means I'm eating a lot of foods I wouldn't normally allow myself - lots of butter, cream, cheese. My zits have strangely disappeared as well. I'm eating lots of fish and broccoli and drinking lots of water. I couldn't have believed this could be so easy.
Sorry to rant and I know this might annoy a few people.
Oh, and it works - I have not gained a single pound. In fact I have lost 3. Not that I want a huge weight loss but I will take a little if I can get it.
I once tried this before, but got it all wrong. It did put me into 'remission' from bulimia, but I was eating too much meat and not enough fat, and eating crap like sausages etc. This ended up with me feeling tired.
I know I shouldn't post this obsessing about food, but I also think it's good to have a way out of the cycle and that for the time being I have found.
I think I might be allergic to wheat because I would always get that ol' urge to binge and purge after eating bread. I had this rash round my eyes which is clearing up as well.
I hope I don't crash and burn - I will let you all know of progress.
Hugs to you all and believe it is possible to get better - I do!
Loops
This is the end of the thread.
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