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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 5 of 5. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Racer on June 19, 2005, at 20:23:14
It just isn't fair! My meal plan is still down -- basically -- to where I started last November, I've gained a huge amount of weight and hate it, and yet I know that I'm really only eating about half of what I'm supposed to be eating! At this rate, that's going to make me weigh twice what my "goal" weight is.
That's part of what's holding me back, that fear of just gaining and gaining and gaining. It's worse because when I've slid backwards and restricted, I haven't been able to restrict as much, and really haven't lost any weight. Mostly, my weight has been in the same little range for a couple of months now, no matter how little I eat. Not only am I afraid of what's going to happen if I ever eat as much as I'm supposed to, I'm also feeling trapped by this whole thing, as though now I have no choice, I won't be able to say it isn't working for me and lose the weight again.
Ugh. This just isn't fair!
Posted by Maxime on June 20, 2005, at 13:24:08
In reply to It's just NOT FAIR! (whining about meal plan), posted by Racer on June 19, 2005, at 20:23:14
Hi Racer. It's not fair. Maybe you could try eating your FULL meal plan for 2-3 weeks and see what happens. See how much weight you really gain. Then take it from there. You know there is a test you can done to find out your basal metabolic rate. That is how many calories you need just to maintain your weight. Usually the amount is measure when you are completely still so if you do any movement that amount increases.
It's something to look into anyway. You just breathe into a machine. Have you done it before?
Maxime
> It just isn't fair! My meal plan is still down -- basically -- to where I started last November, I've gained a huge amount of weight and hate it, and yet I know that I'm really only eating about half of what I'm supposed to be eating! At this rate, that's going to make me weigh twice what my "goal" weight is.
>
> That's part of what's holding me back, that fear of just gaining and gaining and gaining. It's worse because when I've slid backwards and restricted, I haven't been able to restrict as much, and really haven't lost any weight. Mostly, my weight has been in the same little range for a couple of months now, no matter how little I eat. Not only am I afraid of what's going to happen if I ever eat as much as I'm supposed to, I'm also feeling trapped by this whole thing, as though now I have no choice, I won't be able to say it isn't working for me and lose the weight again.
>
> Ugh. This just isn't fair!
Posted by Racer on June 20, 2005, at 18:06:14
In reply to Re: It's just NOT FAIR! (whining about meal plan) » Racer, posted by Maxime on June 20, 2005, at 13:24:08
Nope, never done that. I've heard of it, though, and would kinda like to try it -- although, I have to admit, a big part of me is afraid that it will come up with some weird thing like I can only eat 250 calories per day. Now, I know that it won't say that, but that's part of the fear: that the anorexia is right, and I really do need to eat much less than other people.
As for eating, I've been backsliding lately, so even the half-plan I'm still on now is almost more than I can handle -- I'm still stuffed from the meal before by the time the next one comes around on the days that I try to eat it all. Otherwise, while part of me *knows* that your idea is a very, very good one, most of me just can't -- emotionally can't -- do it.
Be well, dear.
Posted by Maxime on June 20, 2005, at 22:04:08
In reply to Re: It's just NOT FAIR! (whining about meal plan), posted by Racer on June 20, 2005, at 18:06:14
I understand. Believe me, I do.
Maxime
> Nope, never done that. I've heard of it, though, and would kinda like to try it -- although, I have to admit, a big part of me is afraid that it will come up with some weird thing like I can only eat 250 calories per day. Now, I know that it won't say that, but that's part of the fear: that the anorexia is right, and I really do need to eat much less than other people.
>
> As for eating, I've been backsliding lately, so even the half-plan I'm still on now is almost more than I can handle -- I'm still stuffed from the meal before by the time the next one comes around on the days that I try to eat it all. Otherwise, while part of me *knows* that your idea is a very, very good one, most of me just can't -- emotionally can't -- do it.
>
> Be well, dear.
Posted by rabble_rouser on July 3, 2005, at 15:44:28
In reply to It's just NOT FAIR! (whining about meal plan), posted by Racer on June 19, 2005, at 20:23:14
POSTING THIS REPLY AGAIN, MADE TO YOUR EARLIER EMAIL WRITTEN IN MARCH. THOUGHT WOULD PUT IT IN HERE TOO SO THAT YOU CAN READ IT.
Dear Racer,
I thought I would post a follow up to this. I hope you still check back on the board from time to time.
In all honesty, I have not suffered with AN, however I had a partner who suffered with bulimia. I have had recurring depression all of my life. The 'disconnect' you are talking about - Im not exactly sure what that means - are you talking about the one little click that makes you decide to really tackle your issues?
I hope the following is of help to you. I have lately made a big breakthrough with my depression. Some time ago my therapist suggested he felt that I had big issues with Approval Addiction (i.e. the endless need for the validation and appreciation of all other human beings). It has taken me a long time to really see what he was driving at, but by using written arguments to convince myself why my approval addiction harms me, and achieves nothing for me, and then going out and trying to act in accordance with that belief, my conviction of it has grown stronger. I am happy to say that my depression finally feels as though it is lifting.
In my partner's case, the day she committed to getting better was when she realised exactly how her bulimia was harming her, when I found an article about its effect on the female reproductive system. She had always wanted children, and when she realised that her illness could stop that from happening, the change happened. She sought out a CBT therapist and began treatment.
I hope this method is effective for you:
1) List all the reasons why you think your AN may be beneficial to you.
2) List all the reasons why you think it is bad for you. Try to extend the arguments into all areas of your life. Think of effect on family / friends, your health, future etc. This step can be hard. For just a moment, pretend you are someone else thinking about it. Try to see how a third party might view the effects of your illness on you.
You may find that some of your arguments as to why it is bad for you hit a chord in your mind. Try to concentrate on those arguments that seem most powerful. Maybe ask others for examples and see if you can find even small reasons to agree with them. I had exactly the same problem when I started - you can grasp it intellectually, but its hard to get it at gut level. The most powerful way to 'get it' is to write out the arguments and alternative beliefs, and then ACT IN ACCORDANCE WITH THEM.
It is an odd quirk of the human mind that action actually precedes belief. An example is driving a car - when you first get in it you are nervous as hell. Only time behind the wheel and experience can make you confident.
One of the best books I have read on this method is How to Accept Yourself by Windy Dryden (amazon etc).
This is only a first step, but it is the one I took some time ago that has led me to where I am now. Have you tried Cognitive Behavioural Therapy? I have heard that it is very affective for AN.
This is the end of the thread.
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