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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 5 of 5. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Angela2 on June 14, 2005, at 22:00:32
This may seem like there is a simple answer, but, I dunno...I don't know if I want kids. I don't want them now, but I hear how fulfilling they are. So maybe I will want them in the future. I think I'd be a good mom. I just want to wait like 10 years before having one. I want to live my life a little first. start a career. get a boyfriend. What is having a child like?
Posted by Dinah on June 15, 2005, at 10:52:39
In reply to How do you know you want kids?, posted by Angela2 on June 14, 2005, at 22:00:32
There is no one way it's like. It depends a heck of a lot on the match between kid and parent. I was so lucky with my son, to get an excellent match. The possibilities could have been scary.
I don't think it's uniformly fulfilling. It can also be frustrating. It can really exacerbate feelings of inadequacy.
I think that there is a myth out there about how parents are supposed to feel, and it doesn't always match the reality but people are afraid to say so.
Your experience of parenting depends a lot on what point of your own development you are in, and what nature and nurture combine to make your child like, and how well the two of you get along.
I am so fortunate to have a son that I genuinely like and would seek to have a friendship with even if we weren't related.
Posted by rainbowbrite on June 16, 2005, at 18:34:47
In reply to How do you know you want kids?, posted by Angela2 on June 14, 2005, at 22:00:32
It just happens one day. I have witnessed it before my eyes with friends, they suddenly start talking about it. and now I am startig to feel it come over me :-0
i think our bodies tell us when we are ready, unless of course it isnt planned.
Posted by crazy teresa on July 17, 2005, at 0:55:30
In reply to How do you know you want kids?, posted by Angela2 on June 14, 2005, at 22:00:32
You'll just know. Just like you'll know when it's time to stop having them.
There's a 'cute' saying you see once in a while and some days it's not too far off: Having children is like being pecked to death by a chicken....;~}
One thing is for sure--your life will no longer be your own. That can be wonderful, but it's not always easy. Don't be in any hurry. Have fun, travel, experience life, establish yourself. Then you'll be able to have more fun being a mom later; you won't feel like you've missed out on anything.
crazy t
Posted by Mal on July 27, 2005, at 21:31:59
In reply to How do you know you want kids?, posted by Angela2 on June 14, 2005, at 22:00:32
> This may seem like there is a simple answer, but, I dunno...I don't know if I want kids. I don't want them now, but I hear how fulfilling they are. So maybe I will want them in the future. I think I'd be a good mom. I just want to wait like 10 years before having one. I want to live my life a little first. start a career. get a boyfriend. What is having a child like?
Boy, have I asked this question myself!
All my life I said I didn't want kids. I have a very analytical nature... I think things out before taking action. Part of the reason I thought I didn't want kids was a fear I couldn't have them... My Mom's sister (who would make a GREAT MOM) never could have any children, and my heart broke for her. I saw that if I set my heart on having kids, my body might or might NOT be able to comply. So I decided NOT to set my heart on kids. Besides, I could think of 1,000 inconveniences and troubles that come with having kids. THen when I hit ~29, I started feeling depressed. Couldn't put my finger on WHY. I was married to a terriffic, stable man, and I had my health, a BS and a MS and a good job but something was missing. Finally it dawned on me that I wanted to have a baby. It took quite a while for me to admit it to myself that I wanted a baby, because for sooo looonnnggg I had said "NO KIDS". But when I decided I had to try I told my husband I was quitting the pill. He wasn't thrilled with the idea. We didn't TRY to get pregnant, but I didn't try not to either. It took a year to get pregnant.
Now I am 34 with (1) 2 yr. old daughter. It has been the best thing I have ever done, the best surprize of my life. I say surprize, because I was skeptical- I didn't believe what everyone says about having kids. I expected things to be far worse, more difficult than they were. I think that waiting till I was older helped me handle what little difficulty there was.
I do NOT recommend being a single parent. I stay home with my daughter and at the end of the day I am so happy to see my husband arrive, so he can handle the little one for a while. If I didn't have that break every night I would be a much more stressed person! This isn't to say she is difficult, but it is tiring (if not exhausting) to take really good care of a little one.
Best wishes to you...
MAL
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