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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 15 to 39 of 142. Go back in thread:
Posted by SLS on December 3, 2013, at 8:29:01
In reply to Re: please be civil » Twinleaf » SLS, posted by Dr. Bob on December 3, 2013, at 2:17:41
> > the incivility of the one.
> >
> > - Scott
> Please don't post anything that could lead others (including me) to feel accused or put down.Okay. I apologize.
- Scott
Posted by Phillipa on December 3, 2013, at 8:56:04
In reply to Re: A very depressing thread.., posted by Twinleaf on December 3, 2013, at 2:10:31
The hospital here has now started advertising cyber consultations with nurses and docs. Demand for medical is higher than they can handle. It seems it will be the wave of the future. Phillipa
Posted by sigismund on December 3, 2013, at 12:43:08
In reply to Re: A very depressing thread.., posted by alexandra_k on December 3, 2013, at 2:10:31
>people...
>typically...
>disgust me.
>sigh.
>i suppose that is bad and wrong. but there it is.
10/10
Posted by SLS on December 3, 2013, at 12:47:34
In reply to Re: A very depressing thread.., posted by sigismund on December 3, 2013, at 12:43:08
> >people...
>
> >typically...
>
> >disgust me.
>
> >sigh.
>
> >i suppose that is bad and wrong. but there it is.
>
> 10/10What does "10/10" mean?
- Scott
Posted by Dinah on December 3, 2013, at 17:16:12
In reply to Re: If you find it depressing... » Twinleaf, posted by alexandra_k on December 3, 2013, at 2:10:29
> About people learning how to handle sh*t being thrown at them.
I really don't understand why one should have to learn this. I manage to find sufficient places where sh*t is not flung at me, to wish to learn how to accept it gracefully.
And honestly if there were no place to go where sh*t would not be flung at me, I'd just as soon fulfill my lifelong dream of being a hermit.
I personally didn't become a deputy because I realized that people were likely to throw sh*t because they couldn't do any better. I personally believe people *can* be capable of better.
Posted by alexandra_k on December 3, 2013, at 17:23:02
In reply to Re: If you find it depressing..., posted by Dinah on December 3, 2013, at 17:16:12
> I really don't understand why one should have to learn this. I manage to find sufficient places where sh*t is not flung at me, to wish to learn how to accept it gracefully.
you are lucky that you were able to find a refuge.
> And honestly if there were no place to go where sh*t would not be flung at me, I'd just as soon fulfill my lifelong dream of being a hermit.
you are lucky if you can find a place where other people will leave you alone.
> I personally didn't become a deputy because I realized that people were likely to throw sh*t because they couldn't do any better. I personally believe people *can* be capable of better.
what if... someone can't. because of trauma, say. what if the only way they can learn is if... someone can put up with a little sh*t being thrown at them for a time.
?
Posted by sigismund on December 3, 2013, at 17:50:24
In reply to Re: A very depressing thread.. » sigismund, posted by SLS on December 3, 2013, at 12:47:34
It means I often feel like that, and it includes me as the object of the disgust.
I guess disgust is the right word.
Just something I feel a lot.
Posted by alexandra_k on December 3, 2013, at 17:56:00
In reply to Re: A very depressing thread.. » SLS, posted by sigismund on December 3, 2013, at 17:50:24
did you read "nausea"?
Posted by Phillipa on December 3, 2013, at 18:09:15
In reply to Re: If you find it depressing..., posted by alexandra_k on December 3, 2013, at 17:23:02
Problem is from where I feel this thread began is goes on forever. Phillipa
Posted by Dinah on December 3, 2013, at 18:30:42
In reply to Re: If you find it depressing..., posted by alexandra_k on December 3, 2013, at 17:23:02
And perhaps it can also be healthy to realize that one needn't put up with sh*t being hurled at them.
(There is also the question of how much is "a little" and "time to time".)
We have different tastes, Alex.
Posted by sigismund on December 3, 2013, at 19:28:42
In reply to Re: A very depressing thread.., posted by alexandra_k on December 3, 2013, at 17:56:00
When I was in my last year of school, yes, but I think I didn't get it at all. Same thing with The Catcher in the Rye at that age. I'm not sure why. Perhaps I needed it spelled out in black and white, which could be why I liked King Lear so much.
Posted by Toph on December 4, 2013, at 12:18:25
In reply to A very depressing thread.., posted by Twinleaf on December 3, 2013, at 2:10:27
The thread is exhausting to me because of the seemingly perpetual cycle of the community trying to change Lou, Lou trying to change Bob, and Bob trying to change the community. Around and around and around it goes.
Posted by Twinleaf on December 4, 2013, at 15:13:08
In reply to Re: A very depressing thread.. » Twinleaf, posted by Toph on December 4, 2013, at 12:18:25
Yes, you described perfectly why it is so depressing and frustrating. It would be so nice if all this effort resulted in even a little growth or new thinking.
Posted by alexandra_k on December 4, 2013, at 16:00:13
In reply to Re: A very depressing thread.. » Toph, posted by Twinleaf on December 4, 2013, at 15:13:08
i guess i just don't understand why people read these threads if they don't get anything from them. why they can't stop reading if they don't find it helpful. why they have this urge to post 'not helping ME! not helping ME!' equivalents repeatedly...
maybe it reminds me of the people who can't leave me alone... to do my thing... even when the whole wide world is out there open to them. they must interfere with me somehow. prevent me getting what i need. just because... they simply cannot leave me the crap alone.
Posted by Twinleaf on December 4, 2013, at 16:33:51
In reply to Re: A very depressing thread.., posted by alexandra_k on December 4, 2013, at 16:00:13
At times it's important to me to express my opinion, including saying what would be rewarding for me - just as it is for you. It would be much nicer if you just ignored my posts, rather than repeatedly criticizing them. Every post I have written to you has had the aim of being understanding and supportive, although they apparently have not been received that way. Our thinking appears to be too different for us to be able to communicate effectively -I'm very sorry to have to come to that conclusion.
Posted by SLS on December 4, 2013, at 17:58:50
In reply to Re: A very depressing thread.., posted by alexandra_k on December 4, 2013, at 16:00:13
> i guess i just don't understand why people read these threads if they don't get anything from them.
Witnessing and participating in drama can be very stimulating. It is this stimulation that is the reward. To me, the sensation seems more primal than intellectual. Perhaps it serves to relieve the community of psychosocial tension or produces motivation where there is none.
- Scott
Posted by Dr. Bob on December 5, 2013, at 0:30:00
In reply to Re: please be civil » Dr. Bob, posted by SLS on December 3, 2013, at 8:29:01
Posted by Dr. Bob on December 5, 2013, at 0:37:28
In reply to Re: If you find it depressing..., posted by alexandra_k on December 3, 2013, at 17:23:02
> > I really don't understand why one should have to learn this. I manage to find sufficient places where sh*t is not flung at me, to wish to learn how to accept it gracefully.
>
> you are lucky that you were able to find a refuge.Plus sometimes it's not other people, it's life. Has anyone here not had to deal with sh*t?
Bob
Posted by Dinah on December 5, 2013, at 11:29:08
In reply to Re: why one should have to learn this, posted by Dr. Bob on December 5, 2013, at 0:37:28
Yes, and so I do.
But I don't have to stay where people treat me badly, and I don't.
My cousin once told me that I was so lucky to find boyfriends who treated me with respect. I was astonished. It wouldn't have occurred to me to date anyone who didn't treat me with respect. For all my issues with my mother, she taught me how to behave and what to expect from others.
I loved Babble for what it once was, and the civility guidelines once in place. I appreciated a moderator who felt that people shouldn't have sh*t hurled at them. I suppose I stick around even now for lingering affection for that place and that moderator, despite my disappointment.
Posted by Dinah on December 5, 2013, at 11:50:22
In reply to Re: why one should have to learn this » Dr. Bob, posted by Dinah on December 5, 2013, at 11:29:08
Apparently this has changed from a place with a moderator who did not tolerate sh*t being thrown at others to a place with a therapist-in-chief who sees his mission as teaching people to shield themselves against sh*t being thrown *on his own website*.
It boggles my mind that there needs to be an answer to that beyond leaving his website.
Certainly it reinforces my own conclusions about Babble. That saddens me.
Although I recognize that it makes Alex happy.
Posted by Partlycloudy on December 5, 2013, at 14:40:09
In reply to Re: why one should have to learn this, posted by Dinah on December 5, 2013, at 11:50:22
Same here. It's tied in to that feeling of safety, which has long gone.
And the issue of specialness, being expected to be treated that way, and sameness, and being expected to be treated politely.
I didn't have the courage to post on this forum until you voiced my concerns, Dinah. Thank you.
I won't make any further posts on this thread.
PC
Posted by Phillipa on December 5, 2013, at 20:35:46
In reply to Re: why one should have to learn this, posted by Dr. Bob on December 5, 2013, at 0:37:28
Dr Bob honestly? Isn't this a daily function of most? But I don't fling it I flush it away. Phillipa
Posted by alexandra_k on December 5, 2013, at 21:33:42
In reply to Re: why one should have to learn this, posted by Dinah on December 5, 2013, at 11:50:22
well... i just find it amusing watching bob and lou get their geek on over the civility rules. i... i simply don't follow the conversations. maybe i don't try hard enough. i don't know. i just... don't feel any kind of tug at all to try and make things better or whatever. and i don't feel like lou is upset with me about anything... i guess because he isn't. perhaps because i don't post much to meds... i don't post to faith... i don't know.
i just... well... sometimes it is hard for people to get the help they need irl. to... feel heard. feel like there are people who can hear you. engage with you. i know the frustration of that. and i feel... happy for lou that bob seems to get him some times. that bob can engage with him. i think that is good.
i hear that other people feel upset... wish lou would stop it... i think... the harm to lou of stopping it would be greater than the harm to them if they refrained from reading these threads. i just... do. i see most of the people complaining... have good therapy relationships irl. etc. i...
it is easy to help those whom it is easy to help. perhaps. i think it is good that bob can help some people here who perhaps might have a harder time of it irl... perhaps in part because of the medium here. perhaps in part because of who he is. probably a combo of both. whatever...
whatever.
i think it is nice.
Posted by SLS on December 5, 2013, at 23:51:33
In reply to Re: why one should have to learn this, posted by alexandra_k on December 5, 2013, at 21:33:42
In what ways do you identify yourself with Lou Pilder? You protect him. Why?
For me personally, I feel connected to him in that, like Lou, I am concerned about antisemitism.
Are you prescribing for some people that they should refrain from reading posts authored by Lou Pilder should they be upset by them? That's not a bad idea. So, when he declares that we are killing our children by drugging them with compounds containing benzene (aromatic) rings, you feel that one must refrain from responding to this, simply because they feel the need to intercede and challenge this idea? Who is more hurt by allowing Lou Pilder's statements to remain unchallenged, Lou or a newbie who is for the first time looking for information on antidepressants or benzodiazepines? Once Lou Pilder returns his attention to the Medication board, perhaps we can look at his posting behaviors using a new set of filters regarding posting rules such that we should let all of his posts "stand".
Who cares?
- Scott
Posted by alexandra_k on December 6, 2013, at 0:07:12
In reply to Benzene. » alexandra_k, posted by SLS on December 5, 2013, at 23:51:33
> In what ways do you identify yourself with Lou Pilder? You protect him. Why?
I don't know that I protect him... I don't like it when people express thoughts that suggest that... They would be happier if he went away. I guess, I don't like that.
> For me personally, I feel connected to him in that, like Lou, I am concerned about antisemitism.
Yes. On these boards... I don't think you would find anybody who wouldn't support that.
Perhaps part of this is... That in my country you wouldn't find anybody (really much) who would speak out against (alleged) things 'Maaori'. But... Ur... I might have a tendancy to. After having lived with some segment of them more intimately than the majority of NZers ever will... What I need to remember is that it is indeed 'some segment of them'. But it is hard to remember that... It does indeed feel like a 'representative majority' and statistically I'm sure it is... But, ur, I feel... I should interact with the best of them. I should... And then see what I can learn / see how I feel.
(I think I will get the opportunity to do that - for which I am grateful).
> Are you prescribing for some people that they should refrain from reading posts authored by Lou Pilder should they be upset by them?Ur... Yeah. Or that they... Read them... Feel upset... Then find a way that put them out of their mind / has them feel less upset. If possible. Yeah.
> So, when he declares that we are killing our children by drugging them with compounds containing benzene (aromatic) rings, you feel that one must refrain from responding to this, simply because they feel the need to intercede and challenge this idea?
Here's the thing. If one has simple counter-examples that refute the point, then one can simply post the counter-examples.
What is left?
Emotional investment.
Emotional investment.
Now one gets to think about... Who is... Capable of... Being the better person... One can challenge. What does 'investment' mean? What does that mean? Invested in saying what one wants to say (go for it) or... Invested in being thought right? The latter is problematic...
The latter is problematic.
Say what you have to say... The best way that you can... And then... Move on.
Why so hard?
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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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