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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 52 to 76 of 225. Go back in thread:
Posted by Phillipa on July 9, 2013, at 18:29:57
In reply to Re: the big picture, posted by Dr. Bob on July 9, 2013, at 15:12:04
If the rock can't be moved. Then I move on. Phillipa
Posted by Dr. Bob on July 9, 2013, at 18:32:00
In reply to Re: the big picture » Dr. Bob, posted by gardenergirl on July 9, 2013, at 16:34:05
> > the old model was unsustainable
>
> You've mentioned this more than once. What do you mean by the old model?
>
> 10derheartDepending on the administration to make this a refuge.
--
> People are asking you for action, and you're giving them a process group. Imagine if a sports referee did that in response to questions about rules or complaints about a participant's actions. How could play continue?
>
> You seem to be trying to get folks to change the way they react. As Dinah pointed out, you haven't answered the main question. You're saying this is exhausting, but good lord, you're making it so much bigger than is asked of you.
>
> if folks ASK you to help them process it, feel free. But frankly, assuming that's what is really being asked or perhaps that's what you feel is needed feels patronizing and a little insulting, at least to me.
>
> gardenergirlOnline, play can continue while we discuss.
Yes, I'm trying to get folks to change the way they react.
Yes, I'm trying to look at the big picture, too.
My posts don't have to be read or responded to either.
Maybe now I've taken the role of Hard Place.
Bob
Posted by gardenergirl on July 9, 2013, at 18:45:55
In reply to Re: the big picture, posted by Dr. Bob on July 9, 2013, at 18:32:00
> Depending on the administration to make this a refuge.Is there some reason you can't or won't just come out and say you aren't willing to moderate any more?
>
> Yes, I'm trying to get folks to change the way they react.Um, you complain about this being exhausting, but you focus your energies on what you can't control as opposed to what you can? Um, hello??!!??
>
> Yes, I'm trying to look at the big picture, too.
>
> My posts don't have to be read or responded to either.
>
> Maybe now I've taken the role of Hard Place.
>
> BobYou sound a bit peeved, now. Did the mirror stung a little bit? If so, why might that be? Oh wait, now I'm trying for a therapeutic/teachable moment with you, and you surely did not ask for that from me. Not every moment needs to be a teachable and/or therapeutic one. Wait, what?
Posted by Dinah on July 9, 2013, at 18:52:10
In reply to Re: the big picture, posted by Dr. Bob on July 9, 2013, at 18:32:00
Are you saying that you don't intend to do anything with posts like the ones that have been brought to your attention?
If so, is this because you don't believe they violate the rules?
Have the rules changed?
If so, perhaps you should update the FAQ's.
I don't know if you're the hard place, but you are confusing me.
If you say that you think those rules are fine under the existing rules, we can decide what to do.
If you say they may not be but you have no intention of enforcing existing rules (and also have no intention of clarifying the new ones), then we can decide what to do.
If you aren't clear, we'll keep trying to engage you in conversation because we're confused.
Posted by Dinah on July 9, 2013, at 18:54:16
In reply to Re: the big picture » Dr. Bob, posted by Dinah on July 9, 2013, at 18:52:10
Well, to be honest, I think I have gotten the point that you're not going to do anything with these posts or future similar posts, and that your decision is pretty final.
What I'm not sure about is whether the rules have changed or if you are saying you're not going to enforce rules, or if you are saying you'll enforce rules sometimes but not others, and we'll never know when you'll do what.
Posted by Dinah on July 9, 2013, at 18:54:46
In reply to Re: the big picture » Dr. Bob, posted by gardenergirl on July 9, 2013, at 18:45:55
Seems like old times. :/
Posted by gardenergirl on July 9, 2013, at 19:08:36
In reply to Re: the big picture » gardenergirl, posted by Dinah on July 9, 2013, at 18:54:46
Old times, but new attitudes. :)
Posted by Dinah on July 9, 2013, at 19:09:54
In reply to Re: the big picture » Dinah, posted by gardenergirl on July 9, 2013, at 19:08:36
Yup.
Posted by SLS on July 9, 2013, at 19:54:32
In reply to Re: the big picture » Dinah, posted by gardenergirl on July 9, 2013, at 19:08:36
> Old times, but new attitudes. :)
What would happen if the old times had precipitated complaints from external sources?
I am not sure of anything. I still think that something is odd.
- Scott
Posted by gardenergirl on July 9, 2013, at 20:07:34
In reply to Re: the big picture » gardenergirl, posted by SLS on July 9, 2013, at 19:54:32
I'm not sure what you mean.
Posted by Phillipa on July 9, 2013, at 20:08:54
In reply to Re: the big picture » SLS, posted by gardenergirl on July 9, 2013, at 20:07:34
Not Bob and the rock isn't going to change mind so why bother? Phillipa
Posted by SLS on July 9, 2013, at 20:22:25
In reply to Re: the big picture » SLS, posted by gardenergirl on July 9, 2013, at 20:07:34
Hi GG.
> I'm not sure what you mean.
Perhaps the hard-place resides outside of Psycho-Babble.
I'm sorry to be so cryptic. It's what I don't know that prevents me from saying more.
- Scott
Posted by gardenergirl on July 9, 2013, at 20:27:41
In reply to Re: the big picture » gardenergirl, posted by SLS on July 9, 2013, at 20:22:25
Perhaps something related to legal advice or action of some sort?
Posted by Phillipa on July 9, 2013, at 20:44:54
In reply to Re: the big picture » SLS, posted by gardenergirl on July 9, 2013, at 20:27:41
Actually I know what you mean and yup I'd say that's it. Phillipa
Posted by SLS on July 9, 2013, at 20:45:31
In reply to Re: the big picture » SLS, posted by gardenergirl on July 9, 2013, at 20:27:41
> Perhaps something related to legal advice or action of some sort?
This is what I am thinking.
If this is indeed the case, then any arguments as to the civility of posted content becomes moot. I would then want to make things as easy as possible for the doctor. I don't want to be the rock that pounds him into the hard place should one exist.
Regardless of the circumstances, I am not intent on hurting Dr. Bob or compromising his efforts to maintain his Psycho-Babble website.
I remain confused and conflicted.
- Scott
Posted by gardenergirl on July 9, 2013, at 21:12:56
In reply to Re: the big picture » gardenergirl, posted by SLS on July 9, 2013, at 20:45:31
> If this is indeed the case, then any arguments as to the civility of posted content becomes moot. I would then want to make things as easy as possible for the doctor. I don't want to be the rock that pounds him into the hard place should one exist.
If something like that is the case, I would think that a response along the lines of, "I acknowledge (or perhaps understand) your concern re these posts, but I will not be taking any action about them" would be helpful. I believe saying something definitive vs engaging in tangents and process would go a long way towards shutting down this endless and not very productive discussion. It's way more respectful towards those with the concern. There's nothing wrong with respectfully setting a limit, but you have to actually say it/set it, not just hint or hedge.
It reminds me of a very similar situation at a workplace where the administrator was also a MH professional. Instead of essentially saying, "Knock it off," he went all processey/teachy, and it just went on and on and on...
We aren't patients or students here. We are consumers.
>
> I remain confused and conflicted.
>
>
> - ScottYup. Metaphors, open ended questions, and tangents do not often lead to clearly defined boundaries for acceptable behavior.
Posted by Toph on July 9, 2013, at 22:44:34
In reply to Re: the big picture, posted by Dr. Bob on July 9, 2013, at 15:12:04
Do you ever find yourself between a rock and a hard place? What do you do then?
>
> Bob
>The phrase is STUCK between a rock and a hard place. What seems to baffle us is why would someone with consummate power to make and change the rules ever be stuck?
Posted by 10derheart on July 9, 2013, at 23:19:53
In reply to Re: the big picture » Dr. Bob, posted by gardenergirl on July 9, 2013, at 16:34:05
OMgosh, you rock, gg!!
This whole post is *precisely* what I've been wanting to say for days/weeks.
Why I couldn't be so clear beats me, but it doesn't matter who does it, and now you have captured the essence - thank you, thank you!
Posted by gardenergirl on July 10, 2013, at 18:33:22
In reply to Re: the big picture » gardenergirl, posted by 10derheart on July 9, 2013, at 23:19:53
Thanks. One of Dinah's recent posts helped these thoughts come together for me. Still a good team. :)
gg
Posted by sleepygirl2 on July 10, 2013, at 21:02:55
In reply to Re: the big picture, posted by Dr. Bob on July 9, 2013, at 15:12:04
All the time.
I go underground, surrender.
It's a battle you can't fight.
There's no winning.
Posted by sleepygirl2 on July 10, 2013, at 21:16:33
In reply to Re: the big picture » Dr. Bob, posted by sleepygirl2 on July 10, 2013, at 21:02:55
As far as the processing thing....
Sometimes, it really goes nowhere, so I don't engage in it.If I can't solve a problem, I just accept it, and make a decision in my best interest.... Hopefully
Like for instance,
Not reading Lou's posts
Not because I care all that much, I do, a little, but there's not a damn thing I can do about it.
There doesn't seem to be anything anyone can do about it, except Lou, of course.
Posted by Dr. Bob on July 11, 2013, at 9:50:14
In reply to Re: the big picture » sleepygirl2, posted by sleepygirl2 on July 10, 2013, at 21:16:33
> Is there some reason you can't or won't just come out and say you aren't willing to moderate any more?
>
> gardenergirl> Are you saying that you don't intend to do anything with posts like the ones that have been brought to your attention?
>
> If you say that you think those rules are fine under the existing rules, we can decide what to do.
>
> If you say they may not be but you have no intention of enforcing existing rules (and also have no intention of clarifying the new ones), then we can decide what to do.
>
> DinahSorry about being cryptic. I know I get that way sometimes.
I'm willing to moderate.
When I'm notified of posts, I'm enforcing existing rules and responding either on the board or to the posters who notified me. One exception is that I think right now it may be good for this community as a whole, and for me, to leave some of Lou's notifications outstanding.
--
> > Perhaps something related to legal advice or action of some sort?
>
> This is what I am thinking.
>
> - Scott> What seems to baffle us is why would someone with consummate power to make and change the rules ever be stuck?
>
> Toph> You sound a bit peeved, now. Did the mirror stung a little bit?
>
> gardenergirl10der asked before what I meant by "the old model". Another aspect of it was relying on the power to define and enforce boundaries for acceptable behavior. That was how the administration made this a refuge.
It's tempting to turn to power and, I suppose, fear. As a response and as an explanation: if what I'm doing doesn't make sense, maybe someone else is more powerful or making me feel afraid.
A mirror is an alternative to power (or maybe a different kind of power). I confess I've tried a mirror, with the hope that it might sting a little.
--
> > Do you ever find yourself between a rock and a hard place? What do you do then?
>
> All the time.
> I go underground, surrender.
> It's a battle you can't fight.
> There's no winning.> If I can't solve a problem, I just accept it, and make a decision in my best interest.... Hopefully
> Like for instance,
> Not reading Lou's posts
> Not because I care all that much, I do, a little, but there's not a damn thing I can do about it.
>
> sleepygirl2> OMgosh, you rock, gg!!
>
> This whole post is *precisely* what I've been wanting to say for days/weeks.
>
> Why I couldn't be so clear beats me, but it doesn't matter who does it, and now you have captured the essence - thank you, thank you!
>
> 10derheart> Thanks. One of Dinah's recent posts helped these thoughts come together for me. Still a good team. :)
>
> ggThat's what I'm thinking, too. There's no winning. But maybe surrender isn't the only other choice.
1. I can make a decision in my best interest, or the best interest of Babble.
2. And if there are others with me between that rock and that hard place, maybe together we can learn ways to cope and find the energy to persevere.
Bob
Posted by SLS on July 11, 2013, at 12:35:25
In reply to Re: the big picture, posted by Dr. Bob on July 11, 2013, at 9:50:14
> There's no winning. But maybe surrender isn't the only other choice.
>
> 1. I can make a decision in my best interest, or the best interest of Babble.I wish there were a place where the best interests of both could be served. Apparently, you don't feel that there is such a place, as I am sure that you would seek to be there if there were. I am hoping that you will find this place with continued exploration. However, until such a time arrives, I would prefer that Psycho-Babble remain intact. I am not happy to learn that the continuance of Psycho-Babble must occur at your detriment.
> 2. And if there are others with me between that rock and that hard place, maybe together we can learn ways to cope and find the energy to persevere.
I'll try if you will.
:-)
- Scott
Posted by Lou P{ilder on July 11, 2013, at 13:06:02
In reply to Re: the big picture, posted by Dr. Bob on July 11, 2013, at 9:50:14
> > Is there some reason you can't or won't just come out and say you aren't willing to moderate any more?
> >
> > gardenergirl
>
> > Are you saying that you don't intend to do anything with posts like the ones that have been brought to your attention?
> >
> > If you say that you think those rules are fine under the existing rules, we can decide what to do.
> >
> > If you say they may not be but you have no intention of enforcing existing rules (and also have no intention of clarifying the new ones), then we can decide what to do.
> >
> > Dinah
>
> Sorry about being cryptic. I know I get that way sometimes.
>
> I'm willing to moderate.
>
> When I'm notified of posts, I'm enforcing existing rules and responding either on the board or to the posters who notified me. One exception is that I think right now it may be good for this community as a whole, and for me, to leave some of Lou's notifications outstanding.
>
> --
>
> > > Perhaps something related to legal advice or action of some sort?
> >
> > This is what I am thinking.
> >
> > - Scott
>
> > What seems to baffle us is why would someone with consummate power to make and change the rules ever be stuck?
> >
> > Toph
>
> > You sound a bit peeved, now. Did the mirror stung a little bit?
> >
> > gardenergirl
>
> 10der asked before what I meant by "the old model". Another aspect of it was relying on the power to define and enforce boundaries for acceptable behavior. That was how the administration made this a refuge.
>
> It's tempting to turn to power and, I suppose, fear. As a response and as an explanation: if what I'm doing doesn't make sense, maybe someone else is more powerful or making me feel afraid.
>
> A mirror is an alternative to power (or maybe a different kind of power). I confess I've tried a mirror, with the hope that it might sting a little.
>
> --
>
> > > Do you ever find yourself between a rock and a hard place? What do you do then?
> >
> > All the time.
> > I go underground, surrender.
> > It's a battle you can't fight.
> > There's no winning.
>
> > If I can't solve a problem, I just accept it, and make a decision in my best interest.... Hopefully
> > Like for instance,
> > Not reading Lou's posts
> > Not because I care all that much, I do, a little, but there's not a damn thing I can do about it.
> >
> > sleepygirl2
>
> > OMgosh, you rock, gg!!
> >
> > This whole post is *precisely* what I've been wanting to say for days/weeks.
> >
> > Why I couldn't be so clear beats me, but it doesn't matter who does it, and now you have captured the essence - thank you, thank you!
> >
> > 10derheart
>
> > Thanks. One of Dinah's recent posts helped these thoughts come together for me. Still a good team. :)
> >
> > gg
>
> That's what I'm thinking, too. There's no winning. But maybe surrender isn't the only other choice.
>
> 1. I can make a decision in my best interest, or the best interest of Babble.
>
> 2. And if there are others with me between that rock and that hard place, maybe together we can learn ways to cope and find the energy to persevere.
>
> BobMr Hsiung,
You wrote,[...I'm enforcing existing rules...One exception..leave some of Lou's notifications outstanding...].
A way that you can handle this IMHHHO, is for you to post in the threads that you are leaving my notifications outstanding that you either consider the statement in question supportive or not. And if it is not supportive, then you could post your rationale for allowing it to stand anyway. Then I could post my response to you and members could make their own determination as to if what is in question, if being allowed to stand, will be good for this community as a whole.
Lou Pilder
Posted by Dinah on July 11, 2013, at 14:14:53
In reply to Re: the big picture, posted by Dr. Bob on July 11, 2013, at 9:50:14
I didn't understand most of that. But I am weary of trying to understand, so really don't much care.
I actually don't mind process stuff. But if you get too abstract, my eyes glaze over.
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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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