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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 51 to 75 of 79. Go back in thread:
Posted by Dinah on August 1, 2008, at 23:08:06
In reply to Answering questions with questions, posted by Dinah on August 1, 2008, at 22:45:51
It has come to my attention that Dr. Bob's answer really was cryptic. And perhaps my post was too.
I hadn't really realized that.
I guess I do have an odd thought pattern. Or maybe just a Bobly one.
It was a very clear answer that he wasn't there. When we were speculating over whether he was there and experimenting, he was not there. If he'd have come out and said "I wasn't there. I wasn't experimenting." I might not have believed him. If he'd have laughed at the idea of experimentation, or just said he wasn't there, I might have felt embarrassed or angry/abandoned.
But by leading me to the truth by asking me the question, he was acknowledging that it could be scary to think he wasn't around. By acknowledging that it could be comforting to think he was an all powerful being who was toying with us, but was at least all powerful, he was saying that he was neither all powerful nor experimenting with us.
My subsequent experiences with him validated his statement to me. And it was a statement, even if formed as a question.
I hesitate to say this, for what may be the same reasons he formulated it as a question. To realize for oneself can be sad. To be told can hurt.
I don't wish to hurt.
To me, Dr. Bob's way of telling was preferable. I received a truth through that question that was far more valuable than the information it also gave. I wanted to share that with anyone who wanted to receive it.
But to those of you who do not prefer this method, I do not wish you to feel that I'm toying with you.
I don't toy.
Posted by Zeba on August 1, 2008, at 23:20:52
In reply to Re: This is all a bit difficult, posted by Dinah on August 1, 2008, at 13:53:51
Personally I don't care if he is around or not. What I do not like is when he does come around, all of a sudden some heads roll (not deputies). He has his own ideas, and sometimes gives no warning to people, just blocks them.
Zeba
Posted by Dinah on August 1, 2008, at 23:43:35
In reply to Re: This is all a bit difficult » Dinah, posted by Zeba on August 1, 2008, at 23:20:52
I think it's probably true that deputies give warnings more often than Dr. Bob. But Dr. Bob follows his own rules, I'm sure, and doesn't block without a poster first receiving a Please Be Civil, even if not very recently.
If you are saying that deputy heads do not roll when Dr. Bob comes around, I will only say that I as a deputy try my best to stay within both the spirit and the letter of the civility guidelines. I am far more careful, probably, than if I were not a deputy. I do not try to use my deputy position to get away with anything. I wouldn't want to abuse my position, or anger Dr. Bob. I don't wish to speak for my fellow deputies or their motivations, but I believe they are as careful as I am.
Posted by fayeroe on August 2, 2008, at 8:57:04
In reply to Answering questions with questions, posted by Dinah on August 1, 2008, at 22:45:51
> May be a poor way to disseminate information.
I believe tht it more than "poor" when it comes to giving us real information. Isn't that where alot of our hurts come from?
>
> But it is an excellent way to illuminate truth.I need a real concrete example on this one, say something that happened between Bob and a poster. Not a deputy and Bob.
>
> Which I suppose could be frustrating for all parties involved, if different goals are held by each. I can picture it now. Dr. Bob wondering why we are having such a difficult time grasping the truth, while posters are wondering why Dr. Bob refuses to disseminate information. :)I do not believe that my goals, here, are within the length of a football field (goals) to Bob's. In fact, for the most part I think that Bob's goals are self-serving and I thought that we learned all we needed to know about that in kindergarten. :-) Maybe we need to find out when his birthday is and gift him with that book.
Bob, I apologize right now if I am causing pain and discomfort, with my post, and I certainly don't mean to make you feel put down. I guess I sorta see you as the man to get the slingshot out for. :-)
>
> Perhaps it would be helpful to clarify which is the goal. We could say, "Dr. Bob, we're not looking for truth or wisdom, although we thank you kindly for trying to lead us to it. We're just asking for some information please. Now, what time is it?"If I asked Bob what time it is, Dinah, I believe he would answer me "what time do you want it to be?" I would walk off, bang my head against a wall and use my extensive supply of really bad words. I've done it on more than one occasion here.
>
> However, I think I may be wandering from Administration to Philosophy. Which is definitely far afield from any knowledge base I may have.
>
> And I am certainly not trying to be disrespectful to anyone or their concerns in this post. I hope that posters who are also deputies may occasionally be allowed some playfulness? I had started writing the post and it struck me as an amusing picture, is all.I think that people have been hurt here by way of "administration's abstract reasoning/thinking". I know that I certainly have been on more than one occasion.
I would like it if the that deputies could play more, however I'd want the posters to know which game and what rules are being used. This statement has nothing to do with any one particular deputy. Dinah, there is a wide divide, in my world, between the board, the deputies and Bob. So, if deputies would like to play, as deputies, let us know and we'll do it.
I think that it boils down to this, (Bob, take notes) it is the not knowing, that disturbs people with mental health issues. We are already faced with not understanding our brains, our lives, our families, our work, our homes, planes, trains and automobiles. Let us please understand the site that is here to give us mental health support.
I think that most of us want to feel included and appreciated. I don't like living Anne's life as it must have been while waiting for the ax.
Respectfully, Pat, posting as a poster.
p.s. My fellow countrymen/women (LBJ) if you don't understand my posting style, I'll be happy to explan things for you. I realize that on occasion I write less like I'm applying for grad school and more like I am slouched back in my chair, drinking my iced coffee and trying to manuever around Mikee, the dumpster kitty. Good example right now, he stepped on the keyboard. Having a deadline on a chapter makes me dot my "eyes" and cross my "tees"..
Not only is MIkee a problem, with my style, Timmee just grabbed a lizard on the porch and I had to rescue the poor baby. :-) And my iced coffee isn't all that satisfying today.
I've always wanted to stand in a doorway and hold my arms up like Nixon did and flash that sign that he did. Did that mean "peace"? I was so caught up in trying to put someone through school that I paid very little attention to the physical details of Mr. Nixon. If that is what he meant, consider me standing in my back door waving, smiling and flashing peace to Babble.
Posted by fayeroe on August 2, 2008, at 9:29:19
In reply to Re: His own Questions with his own Questions...., posted by Justherself54 on August 1, 2008, at 22:38:42
> Maybe Bob gets burnt out and needs extented breaks? I quess I'd rather think that than feeling I was part of an experiment to see how much fur flies when babblers feel abandoned..just a thought that popped into my head..
Maybe Bob could tell the posters that he is burned out.I see alot of posters writing that they are taking a break and some mention that they do not want friends to be concerned with their absence.
What is good for the goose is surely good for the gander?
Posted by Dinah on August 2, 2008, at 9:55:19
In reply to Re: Answering questions with questions » Dinah, posted by fayeroe on August 2, 2008, at 8:57:04
Well... I was a poster at the time. Not a deputy. I wasn't always a deputy.
However, I offered something that was valuable to me to the board. It apparently wasn't valuable to anyone else. I"m sorry about that and I meant well. Can we please drop it before something that was valuable to me is ruined for me? I offered it as a gift. If the gift wasn't valuable that's fine. But I hope that people at least recognize the spirit it was offered in.
In future I'll curb any desire I have to engage in a playful nature with my fellow posters. I tried to give a play bow to announce my intentions. But it apparently was not recognized as such. I'll try to be more Bob-like in future.
I feel like an *ss, and would prefer to just drop this, please.
Posted by fayeroe on August 2, 2008, at 10:13:22
In reply to Re: Answering questions with questions » fayeroe, posted by Dinah on August 2, 2008, at 9:55:19
> Well... I was a poster at the time. Not a deputy. I wasn't always a deputy.
I must be confused over the timeline.
>
> However, I offered something that was valuable to me to the board. It apparently wasn't valuable to anyone else. I"m sorry about that and I meant well. Can we please drop it before something that was valuable to me is ruined for me? I offered it as a gift. If the gift wasn't valuable that's fine. But I hope that people at least recognize the spirit it was offered in.I was speaking for myself. All gifts are valuable and everyone has their own interpetation of what is going on here.
In no way, NO WAY, did I mean to come off in a way to cause you to feel criticized. Absolutely no way.
>
> In future I'll curb any desire I have to engage in a playful nature with my fellow posters. I tried to give a play bow to announce my intentions. But it apparently was not recognized as such. I'll try to be more Bob-like in future.I recognized what you were offering. I offered back to you how I felt. I wasn't putting your feelings down. At least I didn't think that that was happening.
I'm sorry that you feel that I didn't encourage you to play with fellow posters.I hope that you do realize that sometimes we don't understand what is going on with the site. As an individual poster, I'd love to see you play, Dinah.
>
> I feel like an *ss, and would prefer to just drop this, please.Well, I didn't drop it because I don't want you to spend your day thinking that I meant something when I didn't.
I am very sorry that your feelings were hurt by my post.I try to post from my heart and I always see the website from a poster's view. I'm sorry that it came across otherwise.
Pat
Posted by Zeba on August 2, 2008, at 11:49:43
In reply to Re: This is all a bit difficult » Zeba, posted by Dinah on August 1, 2008, at 23:43:35
Sorry; I did not mean to imply that you or other deputies get away with things. I realize you have to be extra careful, and I think that is unfortunate. I just meant that because you do have to be extra careful, it is not so likely you would get warned or blocked. Have a good day.
Zeba
Posted by muffled on August 2, 2008, at 13:15:02
In reply to Re: This is all a bit difficult » Dinah, posted by Zeba on August 2, 2008, at 11:49:43
I tol ya, you a sweet pea :-)
G'head and have fun, no worries.
Know that you ARE respected here.
M
Posted by Dinah on August 2, 2008, at 13:26:27
In reply to Dropping subject.................... » Dinah, posted by fayeroe on August 2, 2008, at 10:13:22
Thank you, Pat. I appreciate it.
Posted by Dinah on August 2, 2008, at 13:26:55
In reply to Re: This is all a bit difficult » Dinah, posted by Zeba on August 2, 2008, at 11:49:43
Posted by Dinah on August 2, 2008, at 13:34:11
In reply to :-) Dinah, we all think you great ok?, posted by muffled on August 2, 2008, at 13:15:02
Thank you, Muffled. :)
It's rather disconcerting how sometimes when I've spent a stretch being deputorial (which fortunately doesn't happen that often), I end up wondering if Dr. Bob's more laconic approach is better for the board than my attempts to be transparent.
Posted by fayeroe on August 2, 2008, at 13:39:29
In reply to Re: Dropping subject.................... » fayeroe, posted by Dinah on August 2, 2008, at 13:26:27
Posted by muffled on August 2, 2008, at 13:40:19
In reply to Re: :-) Dinah, we all think you great ok? » muffled, posted by Dinah on August 2, 2008, at 13:34:11
Transparent is good IMHO.
Mebbe more fireworks...but at least we know wassup.
Least you communicating, and I appreciate that.
Roll with it girl...
;-}
Posted by Dinah on August 2, 2008, at 15:30:33
In reply to Re: Dropping subject.....xoxoxos.. :-) (nm) » Dinah, posted by fayeroe on August 2, 2008, at 13:39:29
Posted by Dinah on August 2, 2008, at 15:34:20
In reply to Re: :-) Dinah, we all think you great ok?, posted by muffled on August 2, 2008, at 13:40:19
Well, the upside is that it seems that no one has come with questions about the policy announcement lately. So I can gratefully go back to being just plain old Dinah. A much more comfortable role.
I never much like being deputorial.
Hmmm... Dr. Bob doesn't much care for deputies inciting fireworks. I wonder if he will insist that deputies be opaque? (mostly kidding)
Posted by 10derHeart on August 2, 2008, at 15:57:35
In reply to Re: :-) Dinah, we all think you great ok? » muffled, posted by Dinah on August 2, 2008, at 15:34:20
...my most comfortable crystal-clear-self will probably not be too thrilled if he does...
Of course, for some people, my crystal clear is their "tactless" or "too blunt," or.....whatever.
Thank goodness I have you and Racer (and past deputies, too) to "speak" here, or there might have been an inferno, not just fireworks....lol.
{sniff}
Dang it, all those expressions remind me I should clean something around my house - mirrors, windows....anything....dang it, I was avoiding that...
Posted by Dinah on August 2, 2008, at 16:24:34
In reply to Hmm..... » Dinah, posted by 10derHeart on August 2, 2008, at 15:57:35
I realize that our self assessments may not be the same as others assessments of us. But truly, you are the least tactless and most gentle-worded deputy I can possibly imagine. Certainly far more so than I.
Posted by Dr. Bob on August 2, 2008, at 18:00:50
In reply to Re: This is all a bit difficult, posted by okydoky on August 1, 2008, at 10:42:30
> The American Association for Technology in Psychiatry had their 2008 annual meeting in May. One workshop was COMPUTER-MEDIATED RELATIONSHIPS: BLOGS,
> ONLINE COMMUNITIES, AND VIRTUAL WORLDS
> American Association for Technology in Psychiatry
> Chp.: Robert C. Hsiung, M.D.
> Participants: Steven Daviss, M.D., Jerald Block, M.D
>
> But you have to pay to belong to read it. Has anyone on the site read it? I feel it would be interesting for us.Posters on the site did more of it than I did, see:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20070702/msgs/770372.html
Bob
Posted by Dinah on August 2, 2008, at 18:09:09
In reply to Re: Computer-Mediated Relationships, posted by Dr. Bob on August 2, 2008, at 18:00:50
to prove me a liar. :)
It's good to see you here.
Posted by fayeroe on August 2, 2008, at 18:20:54
In reply to Leave it to you » Dr. Bob, posted by Dinah on August 2, 2008, at 18:09:09
something about waltzing in here, looking like that...
How are things going for you these days? Is it hot enough for you?
Seen any good movies lately? I've been reading books by Christopher Moore.
Put your feet up and chat awhile. Pat
Posted by twinleaf on August 6, 2008, at 19:21:51
In reply to Announcement of Policy Changes, posted by Deputy Dinah on July 30, 2008, at 21:50:35
I am very happy to see this addition. When I have been on the receiving end of statements which have felt sarcastic, hostile or patronizing to me, I have always asked myself whether it is better for me to object on the boards here, or register a complaint privately via the notification function.
Although I know I will receive either a PBC or a block, I always decide to object publicly on the boards. The reason is that I received a lot of verbal abuse as a young girl; I never knew then how to object or stop it from happening. So now, it is always much healthier for me to object online. To accept the public abuse, and only be able to object privately is too much like my original family situation, and not at all like the person I have become now. So I'm really glad that attention is being paid to both sides of these interchanges, rather than just to the responders. Thanks!
Posted by ron1953 on August 12, 2008, at 17:28:03
In reply to Announcement of Policy Changes, posted by Deputy Dinah on July 30, 2008, at 21:50:35
I drop over here occasionally, just to see what's new on the civility front. Each time I think I've seen it all, I'm surprised yet again. What a very sad place this place is....
Posted by Lou Pilder on August 12, 2008, at 19:11:47
In reply to Re: Announcement of Policy Changes, posted by ron1953 on August 12, 2008, at 17:28:03
> I drop over here occasionally, just to see what's new on the civility front. Each time I think I've seen it all, I'm surprised yet again. What a very sad place this place is....
Ron,1953,
You wrote,[...I drop over...I'm suprised...].
Could you list some of what you consider to be a suprise? If you could, then I could have the opportunity to have a better understanding of your post and respond accordingly.
Lou
Posted by Deputy Racer on August 12, 2008, at 23:29:18
In reply to Re: Announcement of Policy Changes, posted by ron1953 on August 12, 2008, at 17:28:03
>What a very sad place this place is....
Please be sensitive to the feelings of those who post here regularly and may not consider themselves to be "sad." The idea here is to be respectful of others, whether or not you agree with them; whether or not you agree with the administrative policies of this board.
If you have any questions regarding the posting policies on this site, please read the FAQ, located at http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#civil Follow ups to this action should be directed to the Administration board and should themselves be civil.
Dr Bob has ultimate authority over all administrative issues on this site, and may choose at any time to revise or reverse any action taken by a deputy.
Deputy Racer
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