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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 14 to 38 of 110. Go back in thread:
Posted by Quintal on August 12, 2007, at 0:12:54
In reply to Re: What can I do?, posted by Phillipa on August 11, 2007, at 22:44:19
Posted by Phillipa on August 12, 2007, at 0:12:54
In reply to You're not bothering me at all (nm) » Phillipa, posted by Quintal on August 11, 2007, at 22:47:53
Not trying to. Phillipa night again
Posted by Quintal on August 12, 2007, at 0:12:54
In reply to Re: You're not bothering me at all » Quintal, posted by Phillipa on August 11, 2007, at 22:57:10
I wish "The Angry Heart: Overcoming Borderline and Addictive Disorders" was available in electronic format so I could cut & paste. There's a few pertinent quotes that I think would be therapeutic here. As it is I'm to weary to type them all out.
Q
Posted by gardenergirl on August 12, 2007, at 0:12:54
In reply to Re: What can I do? » gardenergirl, posted by Phillipa on August 11, 2007, at 22:47:17
Phillipa,
I don't know what's going on with you, but I'm sorry if you're hurting, or feeling unwell or something. I hope you sleep well tonight and that things look brighter tomorrow.gg
Posted by gardenergirl on August 12, 2007, at 0:12:54
In reply to Therapist is not upset with me, but (triggerlong), posted by OzLand on August 10, 2007, at 21:33:52
((((((((ozland))))))))
take care,
gg
Posted by Phillipa on August 12, 2007, at 0:12:54
In reply to Re: What can I do? » Phillipa, posted by gardenergirl on August 11, 2007, at 23:51:31
GG I can't tell you or show you as then I would be doing what I'm accused of and haven't done. Phillip and I'm fine just livid that I can't tell the real scoop oh well that's life.
Posted by Deputy Dinah on August 12, 2007, at 0:25:11
In reply to Re: Let's keep it civil everyone » Deputy Dinah, posted by Quintal on August 12, 2007, at 0:12:52
> I suppose there's nothing one can do about malicious emails? That's the risk I took in giving out. I feel sick at some of the content.
>
> QPlease use the Notify the Administrators function rather than post requests on the board, since posting it on the board may lead others to feel accused or put down.
> Nighty night have fun. Phillipa the dragon queen as I can say whatever I want about myself. And I have no personal info about any of you. Shame for you not already knowing that.
PhillipaPlease don't be sarcastic or post anything that could lead others to feel accused or put down.
> Phillipa, don't be ridiculous.
HonorePlease don't post anything that could lead others to feel accused or put down.
If you or others have questions about this or about posting policies in general, or are interested in alternative ways of expressing yourself, please see the FAQ:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#civil
Follow-ups regarding these issues, as well as replies to the above posts, should of course themselves be civil.
Dr. Bob is always free to override deputy decisions. His email is on the bottom of each page. Please feel free to email him if you believe this decision was made in error.
Dinah, acting as deputy to Dr. Bob
Posted by Honore on August 12, 2007, at 0:31:36
In reply to Please be civil - Honore, Phillipa, Quintal, posted by Deputy Dinah on August 12, 2007, at 0:25:11
I'm sorry if what I posted caused Phillipa to feel put down.
Honore
Posted by Dinah on August 12, 2007, at 0:32:42
In reply to Re: Please be civil - Honore, Phillipa, Quintal » Deputy Dinah, posted by Honore on August 12, 2007, at 0:31:36
Posted by Quintal on August 12, 2007, at 0:51:41
In reply to Please be civil - Honore, Phillipa, Quintal, posted by Deputy Dinah on August 12, 2007, at 0:25:11
Thank you Dinah, I will use the notify button in future. I am sorry if anything I said made Phillipa feel put down.
Q
Posted by Dr. Bob on August 12, 2007, at 1:14:34
In reply to Re: Please be civil - Honore, Phillipa, Quintal » Deputy Dinah, posted by Quintal on August 12, 2007, at 0:51:41
Posted by Dr. Bob on August 12, 2007, at 1:46:11
In reply to Re: What can I do?, posted by Phillipa on August 12, 2007, at 0:12:53
> my therapist does remember going to school with you although you were a year apart
> I don't know your real name
> I don't have a therapist.
> I can say whatever I want about myself.
Please don't post information that you know to be false. Or disclose without permission information that identifies or communications from another poster.
But please don't take this personally, either, this doesn't mean I don't like you or think you're a bad person.
If you or others have questions about this or about posting policies in general, please first see the FAQ:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#civil
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#enforceFollow-ups regarding these issues, as well as replies to the above posts, should of course themselves be civil.
Thanks,
Bob
Posted by Dr. Bob on August 12, 2007, at 1:46:15
In reply to Re: Let's keep it civil everyone » Deputy Dinah, posted by Quintal on August 12, 2007, at 0:12:52
> I suppose there's nothing one can do about malicious emails?
It can be hard to stop someone from sending malicious emails, but:
> If you receive an abusive email or babblemail from someone here, please forward it directly to me (with all its headers, if you know how to do that). FWIW, I can then block any Psycho-Babble or associated Yahoo Group registrations using that email address.
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#privacy
Also, you can complain directly to the sender's email provider. Often, the email address of their complaint department will be "abuse" @ the domain of their email address.
Bob
Posted by LlurpsieNoodle on August 12, 2007, at 9:12:58
In reply to Re: malicious emails, posted by Dr. Bob on August 12, 2007, at 1:46:15
For stepping in and clarifying what constitutes civil behavior.
I have been on the receiving end of distressing babblemails in the past and it took a long time to get things sorted out. Are they sorted out? I dunno. Haven't had any problems in about 2 months.
One lesson I've learned is never to say anything about another poster in a babblemail. Something along the lines of "you can't believe ____ she has borderline personality and is not to be trusted".
That kind of statement can be very harmful to the trusting relationship that is so vital to the support mission of babble.
Another thing I've learned is -- when in doubt say nothing. Things have an odd way of sorting themselves out. Those with less-than-honorable intentions create a series of consequences that will leave them exposed in the end. Consequences.
Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.
-Ll
p.s. I don't think that anyone involved in this discussion is too mentally unstable to understand the implications of revealing personal information about another poster on the boards or in private communiques. In fact, for a group of people who have (often severe) mental illness, I find a great deal of integrity, common sense and compassion.
Posted by Phillipa on August 12, 2007, at 10:32:17
In reply to Re: please be civil » Phillipa, posted by Dr. Bob on August 12, 2007, at 1:46:11
Thank-you Dr. Bob I will not post info I know to be false. I really do not know any personal info but it's over now I will be more careful in the future. Love Phillipa
Posted by gardenergirl on August 12, 2007, at 14:28:20
In reply to Re: please be civil » Dr. Bob, posted by Phillipa on August 12, 2007, at 10:32:17
> Thank-you Dr. Bob I will not post info I know to be false.
What about the part of Dr. Bob's request that comes after "or"?
gg
Posted by NikkiT2 on August 12, 2007, at 17:47:23
In reply to Re: What can I do? » Phillipa, posted by OzLand on August 11, 2007, at 19:24:14
OzLand,
I know I don't post on PB often anymore, but I just wanted to say how shocked I feel after reading this thread, and to just let you know you have my support..
Not much, I know..
Nikki x
Posted by Fivefires on August 12, 2007, at 17:47:25
In reply to Re: I cannot post here ever again » Phillipa, posted by OzLand on August 11, 2007, at 13:07:02
Ozland, I read Phillipa's response to your post and I don't feel there was any intention to hurt you. Instead, I feel her intention was to give you her attention and, hence, comfort.
I haven't paid as much attention to you, or everyone, for that matter, as I should. I'm unfortunately selfish.
Neither of you have this nasty trait.
Who would you rather have in your corner, someone like me who's here and gone, or someone like Phillipa who you can always count on?
Some here have become so close over the years, we forget we're visible to the world.
You and she spend more time here than I, but even I can picture 'all of us sitting around a picnic table and gabbing'.
You're really going through a lot, I realized, as you shared account of Tvisit.
Saying the email from Phillipa is so upsetting was, I understand, your first response, but,
Did you intentionally mean to hurt her? I feel there's 'an attack' in your statement. There wasn't one in her post.
There wasn't a problem very acutely visible to others until you reacted.
So, I'm wondering, did you 'unintentionally attack her post'?
It just doesn't seem 'at all like you' to do so intentionally.
I'm just saddened to see two people who care so much about others, and I know care about each other, at odds.
I've not yet read Phillipa's response to your response here, but, at this point, I say, ask for forgiveness in the way you believe, forget about it, and move on.
You may deserve to be and feel angry, but afa I understand, we're not allowed to attack one another here. Or, rather, 'we shouldn't anyway'.
I just feel if you had it to do over, you would have posted differently or used the babble feature.
5f
Posted by sunnydays on August 12, 2007, at 17:47:26
In reply to Re: I cannot post here ever again, posted by Fivefires on August 12, 2007, at 13:29:15
I'm not sure you can make assumptions about how another person would feel. I saw a problem before reading Ozland's response, just for the record. I also don't believe that Phillipa meant any harm at all, and I believe she has been a very kind poster over the years I've been here. Privacy is a big issue, though, and different people have different levels of it that they need. I myself have HUGE privacy walls that I put up. I don't think that Ozland needs to ask forgiveness for wishing her privacy to be maintained.
sunnydays
Posted by Deputy 10derheart on August 12, 2007, at 18:01:49
In reply to Re: I cannot post here ever again, posted by Fivefires on August 12, 2007, at 17:47:25
>I feel there's 'an attack' in your statement.
> There wasn't a problem very acutely visible to others until you reacted.
> You may deserve to be and feel angry, but afa I understand, we're not allowed to attack one another here.Please don't post anything that could lead others to feel accused or put down, and please don't jump to conclusions about others.
If you or others have questions about this or about posting policies in general, or are interested in alternative ways of expressing yourself, please see the FAQ:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#civil
Follow-ups regarding these issues, as well as replies to the above posts, should of course themselves be civil.
Dr. Bob is always free to override deputy decisions. His email is on the bottom of each page. Please feel free to email him if you believe this decision was made in error.
10derHeart, acting as deputy to Dr. Bob
Posted by Phillipa on August 12, 2007, at 18:02:25
In reply to Re: please be civil » Phillipa, posted by gardenergirl on August 12, 2007, at 14:28:20
Been gone all day nothing to disclose so what am I supposed to say. I'm not here all day to follow the threads. Just tell me what you want and I'll say it. Love Phillipa
Posted by Phillipa on August 12, 2007, at 18:06:51
In reply to Re: please be civil » gardenergirl, posted by Phillipa on August 12, 2007, at 18:02:25
I'm very sorry for disclosing info about Ozland to an unnamed therapist. Love Phillipa
Posted by ClearSkies on August 12, 2007, at 18:24:08
In reply to Re: I cannot post here ever again » Fivefires, posted by sunnydays on August 12, 2007, at 17:47:26
> I'm not sure you can make assumptions about how another person would feel. I saw a problem before reading Ozland's response, just for the record. I also don't believe that Phillipa meant any harm at all, and I believe she has been a very kind poster over the years I've been here. Privacy is a big issue, though, and different people have different levels of it that they need. I myself have HUGE privacy walls that I put up. I don't think that Ozland needs to ask forgiveness for wishing her privacy to be maintained.
>
> sunnydaysYou worded this very well, Sunnydays. No matter what the intentions were, breaching someone else's right to privacy is a serious matter.
Thanks for saying this so eloquently.
ClearSkies
Posted by Fivefires on August 12, 2007, at 19:59:44
In reply to Re: I cannot post here ever again » Fivefires, posted by sunnydays on August 12, 2007, at 17:47:26
I wanted to reply to you personally sunnydays, but you don't have babble feature on.
I have some friends here who know me better than others. If I could talk to you alone sunnydays, you might understand me better.
I don't understand why some people don't have their babble feature on.(?) I'm always thinkin', 'Do they like have a bigger and better life than me or something'? I know, great self-esteem, huh? Does anyone else ever wonder about this? It's like the more a person hides, the more you want to see them!
I just saw a situation here where two people I care about were upset and tried to help.
>
I'm not sure you can make assumptions about how another person would feel.
>I remember thinking why didn't the poster say 'I feel hurt or violated' and thinking this person is really angry and attacking the previous poster. I can't recall if poster said 'I feel angry'. I don't know where 'I assumed' for sure, but 'I've been called on the carpet' for doing this in my life b4. Maybe you'd include my post and I could better see my error.
>
I saw a problem before reading Ozland's response, just for the record.
>When I speak w/ someone outside babble, I'll either ask them to be discreet, or I'll say I don't care if the whole world knows. How could you be sure the latter wasn't the situation?
>
I don't think that Ozland needs to ask forgiveness for wishing her privacy to be maintained.
>Of course not, but there's kind of a gray line there. Do we assume everything outside not be brought in? I think when we talk about things that are really private, it's sometimes important to add that we wish the person to be discreet. It might be ez to forget for some people now and then. I've probably done it and not even realized it. I care about privacy more now than when I first started here, because of situations like this occurring. Now, I'm so worried my child*en will read all of this when I'm 6foot under, they'll all come and stomp on me!
And, no, I wouldn't presume to orchestrate someone to ask for forgiveness. I think I've mispoken or been misunderstood. Actually, I was just looking @ my sticky, stuck on my lamp here. It's a Hawaiian word, hemolele, and it reads 'forget about it and ask for forgiveness ...' and then gets more religious, so won't go on.
I was truly just sharing an idea for everyone involved, including myself.
> sunnydays
5f
Posted by sunnydays on August 12, 2007, at 21:31:49
In reply to Re: I cannot post here ever again, posted by Fivefires on August 12, 2007, at 19:59:44
> I wanted to reply to you personally sunnydays, but you don't have babble feature on.
**** That's a privacy thing for me. While I like everyone here, there's no interaction I wish to have with anyone that could not be said on the boards. I know it is sometimes used to send supportive messages that are more intimate, but even though I know it is anonymous, I just don't feel safe using it.
>
> I have some friends here who know me better than others. If I could talk to you alone sunnydays, you might understand me better.**** I am in chat sometimes if you catch me there. But I don't feel comfortable with the idea of Babblemail so I don't use it. Maybe I'm old-fashioned in that way, but I've seen lots of problems fed into by Babblemail here, so I prefer to stick with what can be said on the boards.
>
> I don't understand why some people don't have their babble feature on.(?) I'm always thinkin', 'Do they like have a bigger and better life than me or something'? I know, great self-esteem, huh? Does anyone else ever wonder about this? It's like the more a person hides, the more you want to see them!**** I don't think I'm hiding. I do have a life outside of Babble, but that has nothing to do with not using Babblemail because the time I spend on the Internet could easily be used to reply to Babblemails. I don't hide the important things about myself here, I don't think. Things like where I live, my name, other things that I think might be identifying I don't want anyone to know and they wouldn't find out if I were to use to Babblemail anyway.
>
> I just saw a situation here where two people I care about were upset and tried to help.*** I appreciate that. I didn't say you weren't trying to help.
>
> I remember thinking why didn't the poster say 'I feel hurt or violated' and thinking this person is really angry and attacking the previous poster.**** Yes, and I was just saying that I thought you were making an assumption there about the poster's intentions. Who can know if that assumption is true except that poster?
I can't recall if poster said 'I feel angry'. I don't know where 'I assumed' for sure, but 'I've been called on the carpet' for doing this in my life b4. Maybe you'd include my post and I could better see my error.
**** Well, I don't think we're allowed to quote from other posts. I do believe the poster said she felt angry at some point. I don't want to go through a blow by blow of your post. I don't think it's helpful to get into something like that.
> When I speak w/ someone outside babble, I'll either ask them to be discreet, or I'll say I don't care if the whole world knows. How could you be sure the latter wasn't the situation?
**** Well.... Ozland seemed not to have wanted the entire world to know judging from her reaction. So that's how I know she didn't say she cared if the whole world knew. She may or may not have said specifically to be discreet, but there are some things that I think that shouldn't have to be specifically requested for.
> Of course not, but there's kind of a gray line there. Do we assume everything outside not be brought in?**** Yes, I would think so. I think that there is always a reason people wouldn't post something on the boards, and that unless the poster discloses something from outside on the boards themselves, it should remain off the boards. They may feel comfortable telling you something personally, but not the thousands of people that have access to it through Google.
I think when we talk about things that are really private, it's sometimes important to add that we wish the person to be discreet. It might be ez to forget for some people now and then. I've probably done it and not even realized it.
**** Everyone probably has at some point. But I think that everyone should be particularly careful when dealing with privacy issues and the Internet and it should be a thought not far from people's minds when they are posting and communicating here. Fortunately or not, all of our words on the boards are archived on Google. I think a lot of things shouldn't require someone to add they wish discretion... it should be a blanket assumption here. Lack of discretion should be the exception, I would think.
I care about privacy more now than when I first started here, because of situations like this occurring. Now, I'm so worried my child*en will read all of this when I'm 6foot under, they'll all come and stomp on me!
**** I can't tell whether or not you are joking here. Privacy is certainly an important issue to many people, though, so I'm glad you care about it.
> I was truly just sharing an idea for everyone involved, including myself.
*** And you're perfectly entitled to do so.
sunnydays
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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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