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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 9 to 33 of 60. Go back in thread:
Posted by gardenergirl on April 4, 2006, at 15:35:55
In reply to Re: Please rephrase » gardenergirl, posted by wildcard11 on April 4, 2006, at 15:20:27
Posted by Phillipa on April 4, 2006, at 16:15:09
In reply to Please rephrase » wildcard11, posted by gardenergirl on April 4, 2006, at 15:15:10
See gg you say you are acting as deputy for Dr. Bob. l0der love that girl and Clear Skies so that sky is clear for her now both say thay are not official deputies. You don't say it either just that you are tired and want to leave very understandable. But where do you look to see who is acting as duputy if not stated. I know you all say it is up to Bob in the ultimum. but I think a lot of people are starting to fear that if they whisper a peek they will get blocked. I know a lot of others are checking out other sites and the rules as well. Maybe Deneb was right about a problem of his own. Love Phillipa Demeaning : to lower in character or quality, to debase in dignity or structure from the dictionary.
Posted by LegWarmers on April 4, 2006, at 16:20:56
In reply to Re: thread was highly provocative » Dr. Bob, posted by LegWarmers on April 3, 2006, at 23:28:54
maybe I am just impatient.
But IMO that thread was a violaion of Matt's privacy via this website and no one did anything to say, stop talking about a frequent poster who we know ....??How would others feel if someone wrote "XXX is on suicide watch" And implied having insider information??
Am I totally off base here?
Posted by LegWarmers on April 4, 2006, at 16:24:03
In reply to I feel ignored, posted by LegWarmers on April 4, 2006, at 16:20:56
I do recall another poster being provoked by someone and other posters came into the thread and said, "hey, ignore this".
It is perfectly obvious that this site is very important to Matt and this poster was very clear about what they wanted, Matt not to post here anymore. So... I guess the outcome worked in thier favor. Too bad for Matt : (
Posted by Phillipa on April 4, 2006, at 17:29:59
In reply to And to add, posted by LegWarmers on April 4, 2006, at 16:24:03
Yeah I'd hate to think that someone posted things about me that I had not reveled to the friends on babble. or made up stuff about me. It's possible someone could do that and who would know who to believe. I'd go with person I had babble with a lot. Love Phillipa
Posted by gardenergirl on April 4, 2006, at 18:25:35
In reply to Re: Please rephrase » gardenergirl, posted by Phillipa on April 4, 2006, at 16:15:09
> But where do you look to see who is acting as duputy if not stated.
The current deputies are Auntie Mel, Dinah, and me. You can contact any of us or Dr. Bob by email with questions or concerns if you do not wish to post the question to the board for whatever reason. Additional information about deputies can be found in the FAQ: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#deputies
As noted above in the thread about new deputies, Clearskies, 10derheart, and Racer are currently in the process of being selected for two new deputy positions. I believe that clearskies signed her post as "not-deputy" (or something similar) to clarify that status, although she can better address that. I'm sorry if it's confusing that I sometimes sign my deputy posts as "gg acting as deputy for Dr. Bob" and sometimes I don't. I try to always do this when I post a PBC or block, but it doesn't seem as critical when I'm doing more general things such as redirects.>I know you all say it is up to Bob in the ultimum. but I think a lot of people are starting to fear that if they whisper a peek they will get blocked.
I'm not aware of any changes to the rules of the site, but I am aware that not everyone agrees with the rules as they are. I don't agree with all of the either, but I agreed to abide by them and to apply them when acting as a deputy.
>Demeaning : to lower in character or quality, to debase in dignity or structure from the dictionary.
Thanks for clarifying that. It indeed would not be considered acceptable under the civility rules to accuse someone of or imply that someone "debase[d] in dignity or structure" someone else with their post.
gg
Posted by gardenergirl on April 4, 2006, at 18:28:58
In reply to I feel ignored, posted by LegWarmers on April 4, 2006, at 16:20:56
I'm sorry you feel ignored. I've brought a similar concern to Dr. Bob and the other deputies for discussion.
gg
Posted by LegWarmers on April 4, 2006, at 18:54:45
In reply to Re: I feel ignored » LegWarmers, posted by gardenergirl on April 4, 2006, at 18:28:58
> I'm sorry you feel ignored. I've brought a similar concern to Dr. Bob and the other deputies for discussion.
>
> ggThank you for responding. I was starting to feel like something was missed.
Bob Im not sure you understand the severity of what happened? But blocks aside, because according to the civilty rules, yes, Matt broke that. *But* he was provoked by someone who implied to have inside information on him! So it would be equivalent to someone posting on this site that they new where you, as in Dr. Bob, were last night. And you can sure as h*ll bet Id be on an uncivil rampage if something like that happened to me on here, And it would have started after the first post, and it would continue until *you* assured me of my safety in some way. ie. check the posters IP address and let me know that it is not coming from anywhere close to me... you get the drift, yeah?... and I apologize if you did that already. But as teenager on an internet site of predominatly adults who he has known for at least a few years now, doesn't that mean anything? I know don't feel safe right now.
And RE: his comment, I jsut read something on psych that got a pbc that in comparison to Matt's comment looks like it should have been a block. But... I'm generally in a state of confusion...
And I would be more than happy to take Matt's block on and you are welcome to double it, or even triple it! I feel so uneasy that he is the one being punished by this situation when my initial reaction to him was, "why aren't you getting angry?", and I thought, good on you, Matt for being so diplomatic and calm. But nothing happened, no one stepped in. So give me his block, I understnad someone needs one, but not Matt.
Posted by LegWarmers on April 4, 2006, at 19:04:41
In reply to Re: I feel ignored Bob » gardenergirl, posted by LegWarmers on April 4, 2006, at 18:54:45
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20060331/msgs/628003.html
In time I will reveal who I am?? Bob before my head falls off I do hope to get a response. And I meant what I said about the block. Civilty to me, means sticking up and protecting someone in your community, ie. the civil babble community. Sorry, but Matt is someone who IMO didn't deserve to be left high and dry and thats how I see it.
Thanks
Posted by Phillipa on April 4, 2006, at 19:43:30
In reply to this gave me chills, posted by LegWarmers on April 4, 2006, at 19:04:41
I'll take his block too. He needs us and he handles him self so well now. Is there anyway for me to forward Matt's babblemails there were two to one of you I have them in his file. Love Phillipa ps I think they would clarify things and I do know Matt he won't mind it would make him happy. And he is so delicate right now. this could tip it for him. He just managed to get over addictions and work things out with others on pbabble and he's being punished???????? Please E-mail me if I can forward them to a deputy or sometone? Please? Babble me and I'll send my address if the deputies don't have it. I have one of them. Love Phillipa ps I do consider myself Matt's second Mom. He tells me a lot in private.
Posted by wildcard11 on April 4, 2006, at 19:45:23
In reply to Re: this gave me chills » LegWarmers, posted by Phillipa on April 4, 2006, at 19:43:30
Posted by Racer on April 4, 2006, at 20:06:26
In reply to Re: this gave me chills » LegWarmers, posted by Phillipa on April 4, 2006, at 19:43:30
> He needs us and he handles him self so well now.
I know Matt is well liked, and this has nothing to do with liking or not liking him myself -- this is ONLY about his behavior on that thread.
I agree that Matt was reacting to a number of posts which many reasonable people would find provocative, but Matt has been here long enough to know the rules. The rules say that, no matter how provoked one feels, one must respond within the letter and the spirit of the civility guidelines. Matt made the choice to respond beyond that threshold, and he was blocked. The consequence of the choice he made to react before thinking is his current block. While it is unfortunate that it's happened, maybe he'll make a different choice next time.
And let's remember something about "needing" Babble: most of us could function without Babble, but not without real time help from doctors, therapists, friends, etc. That doesn't mean that we don't all benefit from this place, it only means that Matt will survive a break. Maybe this time off will be when he goes out and finds that real time help he needs?
OK. I'm done. This wasn't meant to hurt anyone's feelings, and I hope that it hasn't. I just want to express another viewpoint.
Posted by LegWarmers on April 4, 2006, at 20:15:23
In reply to I disagree » Phillipa, posted by Racer on April 4, 2006, at 20:06:26
> > He needs us and he handles him self so well now.
>
> I know Matt is well liked, and this has nothing to do with liking or not liking him myself -- this is ONLY about his behavior on that thread.
>
> I agree that Matt was reacting to a number of posts which many reasonable people would find provocative, but Matt has been here long enough to know the rules. The rules say that, no matter how provoked one feels, one must respond within the letter and the spirit of the civility guidelines. Matt made the choice to respond beyond that threshold, and he was blocked. The consequence of the choice he made to react before thinking is his current block. While it is unfortunate that it's happened, maybe he'll make a different choice next time.
>
> And let's remember something about "needing" Babble: most of us could function without Babble, but not without real time help from doctors, therapists, friends, etc. That doesn't mean that we don't all benefit from this place, it only means that Matt will survive a break. Maybe this time off will be when he goes out and finds that real time help he needs?
>
> OK. I'm done. This wasn't meant to hurt anyone's feelings, and I hope that it hasn't. I just want to express another viewpoint.
I agree with most of it, but in this case, the circumstances were a little diffenret IMO. If someone posted that they new something about *you* how would you react, and then how would you react if the entire community continued to talk about you as this person continued with this idea that htey have info about you. Its just different then the few others situations Ive seen regarding blocks and provocation. It was too personal.
Posted by Phillipa on April 4, 2006, at 20:20:25
In reply to I disagree » Phillipa, posted by Racer on April 4, 2006, at 20:06:26
Me too. I agree he needs help in real life. He sees a pdoc and was in out pt rehab now he does need a therapist. So I have a pdoc you have a pdoc I have a therapist you have a therapist we both come here often. So maybe they are both places we all need. And if I could I would forward his Babblemails to you that he sent me immediately before he posted .And I feel remember it's and I feel I that saying stick your head in a toilet is not uncivil as I stated in another place I've said this more than once to my husband. Love phillipa ps his mom has e-mailed me and thanked me for supporting Matt.Oh I have copies of them too in my files which I could also forward but can't does someone else want them forwarded to them? Matt gave me permission to.
Posted by Phillipa on April 4, 2006, at 20:23:21
In reply to I disagree » Phillipa, posted by Racer on April 4, 2006, at 20:06:26
This would not be considered posting for a blocked poster cause an e-mail address is something private and not involved with this site. Please correct me if I'm wrong but I did work as a malpractice nurse in court.Love phillipa
Posted by Dinah on April 4, 2006, at 20:25:45
In reply to Re: I disagree » Racer, posted by Phillipa on April 4, 2006, at 20:20:25
Philippa, you can't judge what's civil on this site by what you say to someone you know well and have an intimate relationship with.
This is a different situation and the civility rules are based on an internet forum with no other signals but words, and on the understanding that people may not know each other well.
If you were talking to someone you met at a party, would you tell them to go stick their head in a toilet? How would you take it if someone you met at a party told you to go stick your head in a toilet?
Posted by Racer on April 4, 2006, at 20:55:21
In reply to Re: I disagree » Racer, posted by LegWarmers on April 4, 2006, at 20:15:23
> > >
> I agree with most of it, but in this case, the circumstances were a little diffenret IMO. If someone posted that they new something about *you* how would you react, and then how would you react if the entire community continued to talk about you as this person continued with this idea that htey have info about you. Its just different then the few others situations Ive seen regarding blocks and provocation. It was too personal.
>First of all, I have experienced something a little similar on another site, where someone posted something about me that really felt like an invasion of privacy. I'm not unsympathetic to Matt's side of it.
And I thought about posting at the time that a lot of issues in that thread could be ignored for Matt's benefit. I'm rather sorry I didn't.
The bottom line, however, remains the same. Matt chose to post what he did. That post was beyond the bounds here. Matt was blocked.
Look at it this way: even if everyone else in a thread writes something uncivil, each of us has the choice of whether or not we do so as well. And we're all responsible for our own choices.
But, again, this was a very unfortunate incident. I agree that many people would find it quite provocative -- heck, I would have found it quite provoking, myself. I really do have sympathy for Matt. Nonetheless, he chose to write what he did.
Agree to disagree?
Posted by LegWarmers on April 4, 2006, at 21:13:09
In reply to Re: I disagree » LegWarmers, posted by Racer on April 4, 2006, at 20:55:21
>
> First of all, I have experienced something a little similar on another site, where someone posted something about me that really felt like an invasion of privacy. I'm not unsympathetic to Matt's side of it.
>
> And I thought about posting at the time that a lot of issues in that thread could be ignored for Matt's benefit. I'm rather sorry I didn't.Thats more along the lines of what Im thinking... I just wish I had said something more useful about ignoring it. Doesn't this poster deserves a block?
>
> The bottom line, however, remains the same. Matt chose to post what he did. That post was beyond the bounds here. Matt was blocked.Agreed
>
> Look at it this way: even if everyone else in a thread writes something uncivil, each of us has the choice of whether or not we do so as well. And we're all responsible for our own choices.Right, it just seems like the whole issue was ignored. Thats my issue. It never really was addressed by Bob, that this poster was claiming to have information etc etc...
>
> But, again, this was a very unfortunate incident. I agree that many people would find it quite provocative -- heck, I would have found it quite provoking, myself. I really do have sympathy for Matt. Nonetheless, he chose to write what he did.But I also think he did a great job ignoring not ONE, but TWO threads on the same topic on two boards he frequents... he ignored it, for what appears for quite a while...until the poster started getting personal... then he posted a very civil post.... Then the post abuot suicide came up... Doesn't sem right to me.
He should at least get credit for his initial handing of an unfortuante situation... a less severe block? I dunno> Agree to disagree?
I never have been able to agree to disagree ; ) .... but I do think we agree more than disagree anyway, so .. sure why not.
Posted by Phillipa on April 4, 2006, at 21:17:29
In reply to Re: I disagree » Phillipa, posted by Dinah on April 4, 2006, at 20:25:45
No offense but seriously just the thought of it would make me laugh. I'd be hysterical thinking of my head in a toilet bowl. I'm laughing now. Love Phillipa
Posted by Dinah on April 4, 2006, at 21:32:38
In reply to Honestly? » Dinah, posted by Phillipa on April 4, 2006, at 21:17:29
Well, perhaps you wouldn't mind. But there would be those who would.
Posted by Phillipa on April 4, 2006, at 21:38:22
In reply to Re: Honestly?, posted by Dinah on April 4, 2006, at 21:32:38
If you were at a party and someone told you to put your head in a toilet would take it seriously and either want to or would laugh or would get angry and want to punch them out? Me laughter is the best healer of all. Love Phillipa
Posted by Racer on April 4, 2006, at 21:55:39
In reply to How Many of you would thinkit funny and some punch, posted by Phillipa on April 4, 2006, at 21:38:22
> If you were at a party and someone told you to put your head in a toilet would take it seriously and either want to or would laugh or would get angry and want to punch them out? Me laughter is the best healer of all. Love Phillipa
Phillipa, it's great that you can think of it that way, and expect that sort of reaction should you ever find yourself in that situation.
It's unrealistic and rather unfair to assume that anyone else shares that belief. For a lot of people, hearing that would be pretty devastating, and that needs to be taken into account. If my husband ever said anything like that to me, I would be very, very angry with him, as well as hurt. And I would never dream of saying anything remotely like that him.
But let's shift the focus back where it belongs: it's not whether or not someone should be hurt by the phrase Matt used. Let's not try to debate whether someone "should" find what he wrote funny. I think you'll agree that Matt didn't mean it to be funny -- he was hurting, and he lost his temper and lashed at. That is understandable.
But it's still not OK.
Posted by LegWarmers on April 4, 2006, at 22:10:28
In reply to And that's your right » Phillipa, posted by Racer on April 4, 2006, at 21:55:39
he did do a really good job of keeping his angry post as a me post, up until the toilet part. but seriouly, its not like he said... "YOU THIS AND YOU THAT" When you compare the toilet comment with "there is no vaidity to what he posts" ON TWO separate boards. And he is on suicide watch. and he is high drama.... and the list goes on... i must say, id rather be told to go stick my head in a toilet than all that other stuff. those sound like *personal* attacks. right? Matt did not personally attack this poster. he did not try to hurt the poster.. he tried to understnad at first and then when it didn't stop and the poster failed to acknowledge Matt's post he got justifiably angry. he said I feel p*ssed becasue.... and then the toilet bit. But nothing like, you are a pice of #)*$@)#
Posted by Dinah on April 4, 2006, at 22:36:40
In reply to For the record, posted by LegWarmers on April 4, 2006, at 22:10:28
If I understand correctly the issue here is that there is a belief that uncivil posts on the thread were missed?
Or is it that you'd like him to comment specifically on the issue of people claiming to know someone personally and giving off board information about them. And whether that is considered uncivil under board policy? In other words, a clarification on board policy?
So that if someone knew me off board, or claimed to know me off board, and said things that I'd prefer not to disclose on board, would that be uncivil? Is that the issue?
Posted by Phillipa on April 4, 2006, at 22:36:50
In reply to For the record, posted by LegWarmers on April 4, 2006, at 22:10:28
As we know we won't get anywhere. but how many would have blocked the thread starter? That person must be getting a great deal of laughter at the trouble they caused. And it's sorry to me that some relationships have no humor in them. Personally the only thing that would have made even a little mad is getting my hair wet. Ever throw a husband or wife in a swimming pool or the ocean when they didn't want to be? Or go out and buy something they didn't like or not show up when they expected you to or cook what they didn't like or not eat what they cooked for you? I'd love to see a perfect realtionship. Maybe that is one of the reasons so many get divorced today or stay till the kids are grown or have none at all like my oldest Daughter. She doesn't want any kids to live in a world like we seem to have less marriage cousellors and even therapists. And my youngest Daughter has never been happier since she separated and is not not drinking no stress and loves just going out to do fun things with friends. Love Phillipa
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