![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 9 to 33 of 45. Go back in thread:
Posted by Gabbi-x-2 on February 14, 2005, at 17:54:58
In reply to Please be civil » Gabbi-x-2, posted by Dinah on February 14, 2005, at 17:38:57
The idea of my being dangerous may be amusing to me, but that's only because I know myself, it is obviously not amusing to those who don't.
> Dinah here, acting as deputy for Dr. Bob.
>
> Please don't be sarcastic, jump to conclusions about others, or post anything that could lead others to feel accused or put down.
>
Posted by henrietta on February 14, 2005, at 18:50:50
In reply to Re: All, » henrietta, posted by Gabbi-x-2 on February 14, 2005, at 17:40:43
Well, I didn't want to get into specifics, here, but, for example, I would laugh mao if I saw the word a*n*c*s*t inadvertantly posted beside my name in a subject line. Yet it would never occur to me to tell that member that her very real distress was in some way not "real" because I wouldn't be upset, or because in MY neck of the woods that term was used on a daily basis and carried no weight..I would, and did, try to imagine her distress, and empathize, as did nearly every responding member of the board. I found that admirable. I am only asking that the same admirable empathy be extended to Rod . I am quite surprised (and I mean this sincerely) that you don't seem to grasp this point, since I think of you as a person capable of thinking outside your personal box.
Posted by Gabbi-x-2 on February 14, 2005, at 19:08:06
In reply to Re: All,, posted by henrietta on February 14, 2005, at 18:50:50
I am only asking that the same admirable empathy be extended to Rod . I am quite surprised (and I mean this sincerely) that you don't seem to grasp this point, since I think of you as a person capable of thinking outside your personal box.
I have felt the same way about you Henrietta, which is why I responded as opposed to ignoring your post. That one line Rod chose to put on the board, had been edited from it's original context a babblemail which was not sent to him, but to a friend. The apology I sent to the recipient immediately after the babblemail was not posted either. I won't say anymore than that, but sometimes things aren't as they seem.
And that may be the reason it appears I'm not being more empathetic.
Posted by Dinah on February 14, 2005, at 19:11:16
In reply to Re: All, » henrietta, posted by Gabbi-x-2 on February 14, 2005, at 19:08:06
I don't think Henrietta's message was aimed at you, Gabbi. Not that I wish to speak for Henrietta, of course.
Posted by Dinah on February 14, 2005, at 19:15:16
In reply to Re: All,, posted by henrietta on February 14, 2005, at 18:50:50
I believe I was clear that Rod was perfectly justified in contacting Dr. Bob, I restated the civility rules about posting private conversations, and I attempted to ease any fears he might have that Gabbi actually had any designs on his life.
I also validated any hurt Rod might have felt.
I never intended to show any favoritism to anyone at all. I was just expressing my conviction that no-one was in any danger.
A conviction that I still hold.
Posted by Gabbi-x-2 on February 14, 2005, at 19:16:15
In reply to Re: All,, posted by henrietta on February 14, 2005, at 14:10:38
How So Dinah? I am right now cocking my head like a dog that heard a weird noise... One refers to the e-mail sent to Rod, and the other one following my post refers to "a person able to think out of her own personal box""
Posted by Gabbi-x-2 on February 14, 2005, at 19:17:39
In reply to Re: All, » henrietta, posted by Gabbi-x-2 on February 14, 2005, at 19:16:15
Posted by Dinah on February 14, 2005, at 19:33:30
In reply to Re: All, » henrietta, posted by Gabbi-x-2 on February 14, 2005, at 19:16:15
"or because in MY neck of the woods that term was used on a daily basis and carried no weight.."
Posted by Gabbi-x-2 on February 14, 2005, at 19:46:21
In reply to Re: All, » Gabbi-x-2, posted by Dinah on February 14, 2005, at 19:33:30
> "or because in MY neck of the woods that term was used on a daily basis and carried no weight.."
I'm not understanding, I know that's from Henrietta's post, but it seems to be comparing
something I said, to something else that happened.I said "If I'd heard that said about me I wouldn't be bothered" \
Henrietta was saying.. well that shouldn't matter because it's how the person feels, and
provided the above analogy.
Then she said she thought that I was a person able to usually think outside my own personal box and was surprised I hadn't..
Posted by Dinah on February 14, 2005, at 19:52:26
In reply to Re: All, » Dinah, posted by Gabbi-x-2 on February 14, 2005, at 19:46:21
From Henrietta's post:
> > "or because in MY neck of the woods that term was used on a daily basis and carried no weight.."
From my post to Rod:
"In my neck of the woods, it's generally considered a figure of speech, when weighed properly in context."But perhaps I'm mistaken.
At any rate, I want to make clear that I was in no way trying to say that Rod's feelings were unimportant, but rather to reassure him that he wasn't in any physical danger.
I wouldn't want Rod to think anything else.
Of course I now understand that this was all part of the whole misunderstanding, and will hopefully be all straightened out.
Posted by Dinah on February 14, 2005, at 19:53:10
In reply to Re: All,, posted by Dinah on February 14, 2005, at 19:52:26
Posted by Gabbi-x-2 on February 14, 2005, at 19:58:16
In reply to Re: All,, posted by Dinah on February 14, 2005, at 19:52:26
> I'm sorry you had to spell that out for me,
I missed a few words, and connected a*n* i C*RI*T
to being the term used in her neck of the woods..
I forgot that was yours. Did you check your email?
Posted by Dinah on February 14, 2005, at 20:00:32
In reply to Re: All, » Dinah, posted by Gabbi-x-2 on February 14, 2005, at 19:58:16
Yes, but I haven't gotten anything since I last replied to you.
Uh oh.
No wait. I wasn't babblemailing.
Whew.
Posted by Gabbi-x-2 on February 14, 2005, at 20:11:16
In reply to Re: All, » Gabbi-x-2, posted by Dinah on February 14, 2005, at 20:00:32
I re sent it.. not by babblemail
Posted by henrietta on February 15, 2005, at 7:23:28
In reply to Re: All, » Dinah, posted by Gabbi-x-2 on February 14, 2005, at 20:11:16
I haven't been clear, and I'm sorry for that. My original intention was simply to support Rod because it seemed to me that he wasn't getting much support. I wish I'd left out the bit about
inconsistency of supportive response, which was a general comment, by the way, directed at no one in particular. Just a comment on board dynamics that I should have kept to myself, as per Alexandra's quote "Think of something stupid to say and then don't say it." Then I muddied the waters even further. I'm sure you won't believe it Dinah, but I didn't consciously quote you. I read those posts several hours, I think, before I wrote and didn't go back and read them again. (And I was talking to Gabbi, by the way, in that 2nd post, the personal box post.) Truth is, I use that expression a lot myself, and though it must have been lingering subconsciously from your post, I was genuinely surprised (and rather appalled) to later see you had used the same words. It's such a natural expression for me to use that I didn't think twice when it came rippling off my fingers.And honestly, it didn't really matter to me how Rod received the message that upset him. It only mattered that he seemed so genuinely distressed.
I regret having made matters worse with my interference, and wish both Rod and Gabbi well.
Posted by Dinah on February 15, 2005, at 9:13:20
In reply to Re: All,, posted by henrietta on February 15, 2005, at 7:23:28
Thank you, Henrietta, for clarifying.
Of course I'll believe you. I guess it's one of the limitations of the written word. It's an expression that I use very seldom, and I generally use it in an attempt to express that I understand that I understood that other people might read things differently. So I didn't sufficiently consider that other people might use the expression more frequently.
I hope for everyone's sake that this can be worked out and hurt feelings salved.
Posted by Dr. Bob on February 15, 2005, at 10:26:39
In reply to Re: Please be civil, I apologize » Dinah, posted by Gabbi-x-2 on February 14, 2005, at 17:54:58
Posted by Dr. Bob on February 15, 2005, at 10:42:33
In reply to All,, posted by 64bowtie on February 14, 2005, at 13:39:50
> I am the object of her express wrath!
>
> the danger she poses to me and to Babble.
>
> Technically, it is assault!
>
> and out of the woodwork comes partlycloudy, as a co-conspiritor.....?Please don't jump to conclusions about others or post anything that could lead them to feel accused or put down.
If you or others have questions about this or about posting policies in general, or are interested in alternative ways of expressing yourself, please see the FAQ:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#civil
Follow-ups regarding these issues, as well as replies to the above post, should of course themselves be civil.
> I did learn something about myself.
If you felt up to sharing that, it would be more of an "I-statement"...
Thanks,
Bob
Posted by Gabbi-x-2 on February 15, 2005, at 11:15:27
In reply to Re: please be civil » 64bowtie, posted by Dr. Bob on February 15, 2005, at 10:42:33
Wow Dr. Bob, I'm surprised, Atticus gets blocked for saying F*ck, susan 47 for a**
I get accused of being a danger to babble, and P.C my conspirator, and he gets a p.b.c? After numerous p.b.cs? That really doésn't seem fair.Could you please at least X out our names from his post?
Posted by AuntieMel on February 15, 2005, at 11:35:58
In reply to Re: please be civil » Dr. Bob, posted by Gabbi-x-2 on February 15, 2005, at 11:15:27
My mom always said - ask yourself what it will matter in 5 years. If the answer is 'nothing' then it's not worth getting upset about now.
Much easier said than done, admittedly. But - as a friend I'll repeat:
breathe in.....
breathe out.....
Posted by Gabbi-x-2 on February 15, 2005, at 13:46:30
In reply to Re: deap breaths, my friend » Gabbi-x-2, posted by AuntieMel on February 15, 2005, at 11:35:58
thanks, but I actually find this more amusing than I probably should. I just didn't think it was consistant, and inonsistancy is somthing about Bob that frustrates me.
Posted by AuntieMel on February 15, 2005, at 14:18:09
In reply to Oh I'm fine Auntie Mel » AuntieMel, posted by Gabbi-x-2 on February 15, 2005, at 13:46:30
Posted by Gabbi-x-2 on February 15, 2005, at 15:56:19
In reply to Re: humor is a good thing (nm) » Gabbi-x-2, posted by AuntieMel on February 15, 2005, at 14:18:09
I am so very sorry for assuming you'd forwarded my babblemail, when I saw you post after Rod, it was such a coincidence, I didn't think I may have simply sent it to the wrong person.
And Bless you, for even when already having a terrible day,and having to go through this being able to understand that it was an easy mistake to make. You are some kinda woman.
Posted by Gabbi-x-2 on February 15, 2005, at 15:58:15
In reply to Re: humor is a good thing (nm) » Gabbi-x-2, posted by AuntieMel on February 15, 2005, at 14:18:09
I really didn't need to get on your case.
I should be happy that this is over, and that you took it seriously rather than saying.. "You guys figure this one out on your own.. I'm going to do something more fun"
(like stick bamboo shoots under my finger nails)
Posted by partlycloudy on February 15, 2005, at 17:04:24
In reply to APOLOGIES TO PARTLY CLOUDY, posted by Gabbi-x-2 on February 15, 2005, at 15:56:19
Go forward in thread:
Psycho-Babble Administration | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.