![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 255 to 279 of 536. Go back in thread:
Posted by Fallen4MyT on February 2, 2005, at 12:14:06
In reply to Re: is it a rabbit?, posted by Dr. Bob on February 2, 2005, at 4:06:23
> People would rather be upset about this then try to understand.
Why are most PBS and PBC posted in a way different than I have seen Alex get hers. Not that I want her to get blocked but I feel MOST posters have been PBS and PBC in the subject them get blocked after a few..I have seen a few to Alex..IS there a different standard when you agree with you Dr Bob and are hurtful and make others feel put down. AG used the word insensitive and was blocked....Alex got a pbs in a thread on psych and in here and well used foul language like c**t and never was blocked. Double standard here or no am I missing something? Could you please clarify this so that I may understand and address it as you meant it.
>>Sorry, but please be sensitive to the feelings of others and don't post anything that could lead them to feel accused or put down, thanks.> some people are determined that *it really is a rabbit*
>
> alexandra_k
Posted by Gabbix2 on February 2, 2005, at 12:15:00
In reply to Ok. I apologise (nm) » Gabbix2, posted by alexandra_k on February 2, 2005, at 0:47:01
Posted by Fallen4MyT on February 2, 2005, at 12:17:19
In reply to Re: is it a rabbit? » Dr. Bob, posted by alexandra_k on February 2, 2005, at 4:54:42
I may have missed it but has Dr Bob ever been anything but gentle with YOUR pbc's??? I have never seen one like Atticus or AG or even Susan 47 received ....could someone explain this tome so that I may understand why being the same way as in not civil is gentle to one and not to many???
> > Try not to see them as unable to empathize or wanting to be upset. Maybe they hate rabbits and, since the picture is ambiguous, they don't want to take any chances? As Gabbix said:
>
> > > > Those of us who travel the psych circuit have been shut out from enough rooms, enough private conversations
>
> Thanks, I needed another way to see that...
> And thanks for being gentle with the PBC :-)
Posted by Dinah on February 2, 2005, at 12:33:30
In reply to Re: is it a rabbit?, posted by Dr. Bob on February 2, 2005, at 4:06:23
> > Maybe they hate rabbits and, since the picture is ambiguous, they don't want to take any chances?
Or maybe if what they find distasteful is long ears, whiskers, prominent front teeth, and fur, it doesn't really matter much rather the artist calls it a rabbit or a hare. Maybe they can see that the qualities they hate are there regardless of the name.
Posted by Dinah on February 2, 2005, at 12:33:56
In reply to Re: is it a rabbit?, posted by Dinah on February 2, 2005, at 12:33:30
Posted by Angel Girl on February 2, 2005, at 12:50:47
In reply to Re: is it a rabbit?/ Is this a PBS or ?? » Dr. Bob, posted by Fallen4MyT on February 2, 2005, at 12:14:06
Dr. Bob
I am very opposed of you having favourites if that is what is happening.
And for the record I did NOT call Lou insensitive, I called his actions insensitive. It's not the same thing. And I didn't see my PBC before the block and yet you Dr Bob didn't even care about that when I told you and now I see that you only give a PBC to alexandra for something that most assuredly would deserve a block. You gave me a block and you also blocked Atticus for inadvertantly leaving out an asterisk on the word f*ck. Why are the rules not the same for everybody here. I would like some clarification on this. If Alexandra virtually did the same thing as Atticus did, then why was Atticus treated much harsher. I do not like to see people get blocked but let's be fair here. I think that you should be removing Atticus' block since Alexandra didn't get one. I would like your comments on this Dr Bob. Why does there appear to be a double standard in how you apply your rules and who gets what punishment. Was Atticus comments to you hitting a nerve and one that you did not want to admit to? Is that what it was? I would like you to please clarify this and not with another question as you most often do and while you're at it, I'd like to know also why Lou was spared any punishment when his actions deeply offended me? Where is the justice in your penal system? Different rules for different players? Is there an elite list around here? This is all so very disturbing.
AG
> > People would rather be upset about this then try to understand.
> Why are most PBS and PBC posted in a way different than I have seen Alex get hers. Not that I want her to get blocked but I feel MOST posters have been PBS and PBC in the subject them get blocked after a few..I have seen a few to Alex..IS there a different standard when you agree with you Dr Bob and are hurtful and make others feel put down. AG used the word insensitive and was blocked....Alex got a pbs in a thread on psych and in here and well used foul language like c**t and never was blocked. Double standard here or no am I missing something? Could you please clarify this so that I may understand and address it as you meant it.
>
>
> >>Sorry, but please be sensitive to the feelings of others and don't post anything that could lead them to feel accused or put down, thanks.
>
> > some people are determined that *it really is a rabbit*
> >
> > alexandra_k
>
Posted by alexandra_k on February 2, 2005, at 15:34:10
In reply to Re: is it a rabbit?/ Dr Bob ...Alex..Dinah??? » alexandra_k, posted by Fallen4MyT on February 2, 2005, at 12:17:19
>> People would rather be upset about this then try to understand.
>Why are most PBS and PBC posted in a way different than I have seen Alex get hers.
Dr Bob seems to have been making a special effort lately?
>Not that I want her to get blocked but I feel MOST posters have been PBS and PBC in the subject them get blocked after a few..I have seen a few to Alex..
Yeah, maybe 3 or 4 in the last year. I do not continue with things I have been warned for, however. I also (genuinely) try my best to see where I went wrong and try to learn something so that the situation won’t happen again. You also got a PBS in this same thread. You have had civility warnings before, ya?
>IS there a different standard when you agree with you Dr Bob and are hurtful and make others feel put down.
I wasn’t agreeing with Dr Bob. Like I said, I don’t care whether they get implemented or not.
>AG used the word insensitive and was blocked....
AG said a lot else besides…
>Alex got a pbs in a thread on psych and in here and well used foul language like c**t and never was blocked.
You partook of the foul language too, did you not? I had the automated asterisking turned on. Dr Bob said that words that got through would not result in a blocking.
>I may have missed it but has Dr Bob ever been anything but gentle with YOUR pbc's???
I was hurt by a couple and I expressed that.
>I have never seen one like Atticus or AG or even Susan 47 received ....could someone explain this tome so that I may understand why being the same way as in not civil is gentle to one and not to many???
I think context is relevant here…
I was trying really hard to see things another way…
But (due to my lack of empathy) I could not.
Dr Bob offered me another way to view that and I accept that way of viewing it.
I never intended to hurt.
I didn’t speak out of anger.
I didn't intend to attack or accuse.
And I do think he is making a special effort to be sensitive lately.
Posted by alexandra_k on February 2, 2005, at 15:38:22
In reply to Re: is it a rabbit?/ Is this a PBS or ?? - Dr. Bob, posted by Angel Girl on February 2, 2005, at 12:50:47
I find that quite often I get the wrong end of the stick when I come in to conversations not really knowing the background.
That happened to me over on PC and it has happened to me here a couple of times as well.
Not that there is anything wrong with coming in to conversations.
Please see my response to fallen.
But I am trying to learn to hold off getting too mad about things until I am clearer on what actually happened.
Posted by Angel Girl on February 2, 2005, at 16:45:35
In reply to Re: is it a rabbit?/ Is this a PBS or ?? - Dr. Bob » Angel Girl, posted by alexandra_k on February 2, 2005, at 15:38:22
alexandra
Whether you believe it or not, my reply to you on pc and my comments here are not so much directed to you but to the situations. I don't want to see you get blocked, I just want to see the rules applied the same way to everybody. I only see what I read here. I never saw your original post where you used that word. In Atticus' case, he inadvertantly forgot the *, it was not done intentionally and it seemed weird that Atticus only got blocked after he stated he was taking a break from the board.
Im my own case, I am not aware that my block was for any more than me making the comment that I thought Lou's actions were insensitive, even though not intentional. That was what the whole fracas was about, that comment was made several times and I do not recall even one time that Dr. Bob said that my block was for any other reason. I did not and still do not, to some degree understand the *I* statement. I personally didn't see anything wrong with my comment at the time. It was not my intention to break the civility rules, so please, lets compare apples with applies and not pretend that mine are oranges.
You stated that you received a few PBCs. I received one and then I was blocked AND I did not even see that PBC and Dr Bob is aware of that fact. I only saw it when I discovered I was blocked, which shocked me and it stated that I had previously received a PBC so I went looking for it. Tell me how my situation is different from yours. Have you not seen my questions on social to trying to understand how to use the *I* statement? If not, you can find them in the archives. In fact, for that matter, that entire thread was initiated by ME, trying to get clarification to what was considered civil to post, ironic that I should be blocked in such a thread, don't you think?
I don't know what is going on around here, I just see what I see and from my viewpoint, I see injustice, again, not at you personally, I have nothing against you, but at the situations involved. And what about Lou who walked away from that situation with absolutely nothing. Was that fair to me? Don't tell me that I got blocked because I lashed out because that came after my block was over, to which I didn't get blocked.
So, why does Atticus get blocked and not you. You say that Bob says that the word you used is acceptable? I do not see the logic in that at all. This would be the only msg board that I have been on that particular word would be considered acceptable and I've been to several msg boards on the net. I feel since you didn't get blocked, then Atticus' block should be removed. And why should you receive several PBCs and I only one. Because you were learning? So was I and like I said, I didn't even see mine. That made absolutely no difference to Bob. By coincidence Bob and I were posting in that thread at the same time. I never refreshed my screen. He holds that against me. That's really fair in comparison of how you have been treated, NOT!!! I just want to see equal punishment for equal crimes, so to speak.
What is so wrong with that?
AG
> I find that quite often I get the wrong end of the stick when I come in to conversations not really knowing the background.
>
> That happened to me over on PC and it has happened to me here a couple of times as well.
>
> Not that there is anything wrong with coming in to conversations.
>
> Please see my response to fallen.
>
> But I am trying to learn to hold off getting too mad about things until I am clearer on what actually happened.
Posted by alexandra_k on February 2, 2005, at 16:58:51
In reply to Re: is it a rabbit?/ Is this a PBS or ?? - Dr. Bob » alexandra_k, posted by Angel Girl on February 2, 2005, at 16:45:35
I hereby block myself from posting to Babble for a week.
One week because it is my first offence.
Fair is fair, right?
Posted by alexandra_k on February 2, 2005, at 17:03:57
In reply to Re: is it a rabbit?/ Is this a PBS or ?? - Dr. Bob » alexandra_k, posted by Angel Girl on February 2, 2005, at 16:45:35
>And what about Lou who walked away from that situation with absolutely nothing. Was that fair to me?
When you accept an apology from someone then you are supposed to let it go.
Lou apologised to you. You vaccilated a lot between 'I know he didn't mean it' and blaming him for your hurt. I followed the threads.
He offered to alter the header if he could.
He was asked to consider how posters may respond to his headers.IMO you didn't show any regard for Lou's feelings until you realised that that wasn't winning you any friends.
It is ok. I block myself.
Posted by Angel Girl on February 2, 2005, at 17:16:24
In reply to Re: is it a rabbit?/ Is this a PBS or ?? - Dr. Bob, posted by alexandra_k on February 2, 2005, at 16:58:51
> I hereby block myself from posting to Babble for a week.
>
> One week because it is my first offence.
>
> Fair is fair, right?
Why are you attaching my post to this plea to Dr Bob. Did I say you should be blocked. All I said was I wanted equal punishment for equal crimes. Treat us all the same. In fact, I stated I didn't want to see you blocked and this was not about you personally, I feel that . damn, I don't know how to use the dam *I* statement to make my point.AG
Posted by Angel Girl on February 2, 2005, at 17:19:30
In reply to ps » Angel Girl, posted by alexandra_k on February 2, 2005, at 17:03:57
>
>
> >And what about Lou who walked away from that situation with absolutely nothing. Was that fair to me?
>
> When you accept an apology from someone then you are supposed to let it go.
>
> Lou apologised to you. You vaccilated a lot between 'I know he didn't mean it' and blaming him for your hurt. I followed the threads.
>
> He offered to alter the header if he could.
> He was asked to consider how posters may respond to his headers.
>
> IMO you didn't show any regard for Lou's feelings until you realised that that wasn't winning you any friends.
>
> It is ok. I block myself.
The only comment that I'm going to make in regards to all of yours comments is that I am very offended. I'm not even going to defend your comments even though my opinion differs from yours.AG
Posted by Angel Girl on February 2, 2005, at 17:21:35
In reply to ps » Angel Girl, posted by alexandra_k on February 2, 2005, at 17:03:57
One more comment. Please don't ever post to me again and I will extend to you the same courtesy. This also includes babblemail.
Thanks,
AG
Posted by Fallen4MyT on February 2, 2005, at 18:26:27
In reply to Re: is it a rabbit?/ Dr Bob ...Alex..Dinah??? » Fallen4MyT, posted by alexandra_k on February 2, 2005, at 15:34:10
<<>I have never seen one like Atticus or AG or even Susan 47 received ....could someone explain this tome so that I may understand why being the same way as in not civil is gentle to one and not to many???
I think context is relevant here…
I was trying really hard to see things another way…
But (due to my lack of empathy) I could not.
Dr Bob offered me another way to view that and I accept that way of viewing it.
I never intended to hurt.
I didn’t speak out of anger.
I didn't intend to attack or accuse.
And I do think he is making a special effort to be sensitive lately.>>
And Alex you may have a point here on Dr Bob and TRYING to make an effort since the AG issue. However, I do not think when she said it was insenitive of you know who...to post that by her name that she was meaning to be hurtful either IN FACT she was clearly trying very hard to use I STATEMENTS as not to harm. Understand I do NOT want you to be blocked of block yourself..hey I am leaving on friday but I DO think being fair to all means ALL and I would like to see that for ALL. I know you were on that stuck up and made a poll for AG and I think that was very nice...I do see how some posters can honestly say "I never intended to hurt.
I didn’t speak out of anger.
I didn't intend to attack or accuse." and they still got a block I am bothered by that and NOT YOU as a person.
Posted by Angel Girl on February 2, 2005, at 19:16:43
In reply to Re: is it a rabbit?/ Is this a PBS or ?? - Dr. Bob » alexandra_k, posted by Angel Girl on February 2, 2005, at 17:16:24
> > I hereby block myself from posting to Babble for a week.
> >
> > One week because it is my first offence.
> >
> > Fair is fair, right?
>
>
> Why are you attaching my post to this plea to Dr Bob. Did I say you should be blocked. All I said was I wanted equal punishment for equal crimes. Treat us all the same. In fact, I stated I didn't want to see you blocked and this was not about you personally, I feel that . damn, I don't know how to use the dam *I* statement to make my point.
>
> AG
Dr. Bob, I'm sorry for my frustration in trying to find the right way to use an *I* statement. I've made it very clear that I still do not understand it.Maybe, I will replace what I said with:
I feel frustrated and misunderstood. <-------- Is that ok?
It is not my intention to see Alexandra get blocked, it never was. I guess I didn't convey that well enough.
AG
AG
Posted by alexandra_k on February 2, 2005, at 20:15:45
In reply to Re: is it a rabbit?/ Is this a PBS or ?? - Dr. Bob, posted by alexandra_k on February 2, 2005, at 16:58:51
Things are getting a bit too heated and intense for me.
Maybe I'll get a block, maybe I won't.
At this point all I can say is 'whatever'.
Last remark:
Angel Girl - Atticus protested against the automated asterisking system. His protest was to turn it off because he felt he was perfectly capable of inserting his own asterisks.
Dr Bob replied that it was a safety net and that he could turn it off but if he swore he would be blocked.
Atticus turned it off and at that point chose to accept the consequences of 'unintentionally' swearing without asterisks.
The words c*nt and f*ck unasterisked are not appropriate to this site. There were a few boo boo's when the automated system was first set up. I was just fooling around but I stopped once I realised that some people really are offended.
I know that you weren't trying to get me blocked. But I feel bad that people would suggest that I am getting special treatment. I feel guilty and I am not sure what for.
Maybe Dr Bob made a bit of a boo boo in your case. I don't know. But once you started acting out then there was no way the block could have been rethought without reinforcing your acting out.
I don't have a problem with people expressing their emotions. I don't have a problem with you expressing your emotions. But when they are SO VERY INTENSE and that intensity is so very constant then that is something that I personally find really hard to refrain from reacting too. That is my failing. I appreciate that. But I see the cycle being played out over and over and over and I don't want to be part of it anymore. I have to jump off it for my own mental health. I can't cope with it anymore.
And that tells me that I need a break.
I think it would be a good idea if we do not post to each other.
I am sorry if I have hurt you.
I just can't deal with this anymore.
I do need a break.
Posted by JahL on February 2, 2005, at 21:14:48
In reply to Re: gated communities, posted by Dr. Bob on January 25, 2005, at 3:55:29
Hi Dr B.
It's been a while.
I don't have the time or motivation to read through this entire thread but I think I get the gist.
I certainly don't want to become involved in any 'heated debate' - I know why this issue arrouses emotions so - because the ease with which I can misconstrue the comments of others means I quickly become personally involved. Not good for anyone.
Aaaaaannyyyway. I'm essentially with Dinah & co. on this one.
You and I discussed something similar a few years back; the introduction of the Faith Board. I argued that you were giving in to the politically correct (you to me: 'that's not necessarily a bad thing') protestations of a single board member and that you compromised the integrity of what was essentially a Meds Board.
As a confirmed atheist I was offended that my heartfelt posts about my struggles with Bipolar suddenly became associated with a religious forum. In essence, your ill thought out tinkering scared me off.
Please don't construct segregated communities - we all need to pull together on this one. Imagine the fun us social phobics will have deciding whether to approach a group for membership ('will they all laugh at me?')...
Now I return and I see a whole plethora of boards. Some may serve a purpose but I dunno...
You mention somewhere that this site no longer retains the same wonderful atmosphere it once enjoyed. I agree to a degree. I believe there are a number a reasons for this, one being that your constant tinkering with this site reminds one that it is a research project first and foremost.
The site perhaps now no longer has the same intimate feel to it that was partly created by yourself. You seem much more remote these days. Whereas once you were the friendly patriach, now you appear to me as 'The Master' :-)
I dunno...I just think you should leave well alone. There has been much talk on this site before about 'cliques' forming and your plans seem destined to create even more hurt feeling...
As I say, I've been away a long time and I might not have understood this issue entirely correctly. If not, I apologise. I really don't want to quarrel with anyone - I know passions are running high - I just want to sit back and follow what happens.
Aside from all this Dr B, you know I think you're a top man. I honestly attribute a great deal of my survival up to this point (it hasn't been easy) to PsychoBabble and the endless hours you must put in. Thanks.
Just stop messing about and forget about segregated groups ;-)
Best wishes from the miserable UK,Jah
Posted by Dr. Bob on February 2, 2005, at 23:59:47
In reply to ps » Angel Girl, posted by alexandra_k on February 2, 2005, at 17:03:57
> I thought Lou's actions were insensitive
>
> AG> IMO you didn't show any regard for Lou's feelings until you realised that that wasn't winning you any friends.
>
> alexandra_kMaybe take a moment to reflect on something Sabrina posted at Social?
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20050202/msgs/451596.html
Please don't post anything that could lead others to feel accused or put down. And if someone asks you not to post to them, please don't post to them.
If you or others have questions about this or about posting policies in general, or are interested in alternative ways of expressing yourself, please see the FAQ:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#civil
Follow-ups regarding these issues, as well as replies to the above posts, should of course themselves be civil.
Thanks,
Bob
Posted by Dr. Bob on February 3, 2005, at 0:42:11
In reply to Re: gated communities » Dr. Bob, posted by JahL on February 2, 2005, at 21:14:48
> Please don't construct segregated communities - we all need to pull together on this one. Imagine the fun us social phobics will have deciding whether to approach a group for membership
How would it be segregation? What if we pull together by trying to make them work? Do social phobics have an easier time with larger or smaller groups?
> your constant tinkering with this site reminds one that it is a research project first and foremost.
The only constant is change?
> The site perhaps now no longer has the same intimate feel to it that was partly created by yourself. You seem much more remote these days. Whereas once you were the friendly patriach, now you appear to me as 'The Master' :-)
I do think one change has been in my role...
> I just think you should leave well alone. There has been much talk on this site before about 'cliques' forming and your plans seem destined to create even more hurt feeling...
There always have been, and always will be, people who feel excluded. Is it well enough? I think it could be better.
> Aside from all this Dr B, you know I think you're a top man. I honestly attribute a great deal of my survival up to this point (it hasn't been easy) to PsychoBabble and the endless hours you must put in. Thanks.
You're welcome, it's nice to have you around again! Would you like to be the patriarch of a small board? :-)
Bob
Posted by Dinah on February 3, 2005, at 9:44:44
In reply to Re: patriarchs, posted by Dr. Bob on February 3, 2005, at 0:42:11
I assume that last sentence was playfulness?
I of course can't speak for JahL, but in general, I wouldn't think it was all that polite to answer someone who thinks something is a bad idea by asking them to be a major part of it.
Posted by Fallen4MyT on February 3, 2005, at 17:00:56
In reply to Re: patriarchs » Dr. Bob, posted by Dinah on February 3, 2005, at 9:44:44
maybe he was serious? maybe...maybe dr bob has people who sign on as him to help him read the boards.,...maybe not? maybe thats the inconsistancy? i dunno
> I assume that last sentence was playfulness?
>
> I of course can't speak for JahL, but in general, I wouldn't think it was all that polite to answer someone who thinks something is a bad idea by asking them to be a major part of it.
Posted by Dr. Bob on February 3, 2005, at 21:59:52
In reply to Re: patriarchs » Dr. Bob, posted by Dinah on February 3, 2005, at 9:44:44
> I assume that last sentence was playfulness?
>
> I of course can't speak for JahL, but in general, I wouldn't think it was all that polite to answer someone who thinks something is a bad idea by asking them to be a major part of it.It was playful, but I do also think it might be a new way for old-timers who had some time and energy to spare to support others...
Bob
Posted by Dinah on February 4, 2005, at 6:39:25
In reply to Re: patriarchs, posted by Dr. Bob on February 3, 2005, at 21:59:52
> It was playful, but I do also think it might be a new way for old-timers who had some time and energy to spare to support others...
>
> BobMy original thought upon reading this was to tell you that I was certain you could think of a way to restate this so that it would be more sensitive to those old-timers who have told you exactly what they think of this idea, and how little supportive it would be to others.
However on second thought I have another proposal. I ask to become matriarch of a small board. I'd like it to be one of the larger of the small boards, about half a million members give or take. Membership could be accessed by will of the poster rather than the matriarch. Since I wouldn't feel any desire to curtail the freedom of any posters who decide to post anywhere else, I request that their membership in this small board not be held against them if they should desire membership in more than one small board, unless membership in the other small board is limited to a much lower number than a half million, say a hundred thousand. Clearly it wouldn't be fair to the other small board, with membership of less than a hundred thousand, to let in members who were also a member of another small board. In fact, I strongly encourage anyone who desires to join this small board to also join any other small board with membership of a hundred thousand or more, since I wouldn't want patriarchs or matriarchs to be in a popularity contest either.
Let's see. The background colors for this small board should be mod pink and mod yellow, but muted like a watercolor for those with tendencies to migraine.
I'm sure that you will come up with other ideas that I may not have thought of, so I wish to say that these are not the sole parameters of the board that I wish to add.
I have my welcome all worked out.
Welcome to this cozy board, where no matter how long or short a time you've been posting here, everyone knows your name. (Well, it's next to your post title you know.) And more importantly, where everyone is ready to welcome you warmly.
Posted by gardenergirl on February 4, 2005, at 7:04:33
In reply to Head on wall. Thud. Thud. Ouch!!! » Dr. Bob, posted by Dinah on February 4, 2005, at 6:39:25
Go forward in thread:
Psycho-Babble Administration | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.