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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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Posted by Dinah on January 25, 2005, at 21:11:13
In reply to Re: Sorry Atticus, but I don't think you are helping » alexandra_k, posted by Atticus on January 25, 2005, at 20:49:43
No freedom fighter can expect to find universal approbation. People are bound to disagree on the best way to go about things. That's no reason to feel uncomfortable, or to leave. There have been too many casualties in this skirmish already.
Can we start to bind one another's wounds?
Posted by alexandra_k on January 25, 2005, at 21:11:36
In reply to Re: Sorry Atticus, but I don't think you are helping » alexandra_k, posted by Atticus on January 25, 2005, at 20:44:53
> Not helping what in what way?
Not helping Lou or Angel Girl or myself or any of the other posters to move on.
>I admit I'm loathe to go back to the power structure where the kind of thing that happened to Angel Girl is accepted with a resigned shrug of the shoulders and a sigh of surrender.
We had a go Atticus. We had a really good go. It wasn't just accepted 'with a resigned shrug of the shoulders'.
But this isn't really about Angel Girl anymore anyway, is it Atticus?
I didn't get the impression that the word itself was 'bad' - just the particular context. If I thought the word itself was 'bad' then I wouldn't have put it in the subject heading. Angel Girl did not seem offended by that. Maybe someone is offended. If so I am sorry. Did I offend you Atticus?
How is forcing my subject heading into the archives supposed to help? What is it supposed to help?
I will miss you immensely if you go Atticus.
You have an amazing ability to crack me up with your witty banter. Come back to social Atticus. Come back to writing. I did not mean to hurt you.
Posted by Angel Girl on January 25, 2005, at 21:15:28
In reply to Re: I'm sorry I've upset so many people. :( » Angel Girl, posted by Atticus on January 25, 2005, at 20:09:41
Posted by Angel Girl on January 25, 2005, at 21:29:28
In reply to Re: Thanks everyone. I am ok :-) » alexandra_k, posted by Atticus on January 25, 2005, at 20:23:18
> See, luv? I plunged into the heart of the storm, and though 3 of my posts went bye-bye under mysterious circumstances, I didn't get blocked. This was just a battle I just couldn't stand by and watch, and though I do tend to play things fast and loose, I'm still standing. I think Bob relies an awful lot on fear of repercussions for posts among the Babblers to maintain control. But it's really an illusion. The emperor has no clothes. He's a bunch of 1's and 0's in a digital database. He always reminds me of the Great and Powerful Oz from the film "The Wizard of Oz". One peek at the little psychiatrist behind the curtain, though, and it's pretty hard to be frightened of the consequences of taking him on when I believe a poor decision has been made. Ta. :) Atticus
AtticusThen I shall be frightened for you. :(
AG
Posted by Angel Girl on January 25, 2005, at 21:57:05
In reply to Re: Sorry Atticus, but I don't think you are helping » alexandra_k, posted by Atticus on January 25, 2005, at 20:49:43
> See you after a bit, Alex. I've been spending far too much time here anyway. Time for a holiday. Angel Girl seems to be comfortable sticking around, at least at this point. Ironically, following your comment, I do not. Atticus
Atticus
PLEASE don't leave. I will miss you terribly. This is all so depressing. :( <cries> LIFE SUCKS!!! I should've kept my feelings to myself and none of this would've happened. :(
AG
Posted by Atticus on January 26, 2005, at 10:03:35
In reply to Re: Sorry Atticus, but I don't think you are helping » Atticus, posted by alexandra_k on January 25, 2005, at 21:11:36
I just need some time away. And yes, you did hurt me. If that comment had come from someone I didn't consider such a good friend, it wouldn't have bothered me. And as long as you're engaging in amateur psychoanalyis here, yes, this is also about something else, something bigger. I'm loathe at the thought that everything will just go back to the way it was. Forcing the archiving of the offensive word utterly constituted at least SOME small act of defiance against the fascistic power structure here. It was meant to say to Bob that there are some things we can do here whether you like them or not. But now everything will simply slump back under the rubric of "normal." It's "normal" to be ruled as if by a dictator here. It's "normal" to just put up his caprices. It's "normal" to have him wear us out and for us to give up. Well, fuck that. I do not and will never accept that kind of "normal." I'd like to see him bend and compromise -- genuinely compromise -- on an issue at least one time. But I can't do it all by myself. This anger and frustration is completely destabilizing my behavior IRL -- yesterday I even yelled at my boss -- and I knew, underneath it all, the real cause for my fury at an unjust world lay with this site. So for the nonce, it's time for me to scarper. Everyone brings his or her own agenda to this place. Mine is obviously different from yours. So the only thing for it, as I see it, is for me to go on a 3-4 week non-Babble holiday. Maybe I'll feel more balanced by then. Christ, I hope so. Ta. Atticus is leaving the building
Posted by Atticus on January 26, 2005, at 10:09:30
In reply to PLEASE DON'T GO, YOU'RE MAKING ME SO SAD » Atticus, posted by Angel Girl on January 25, 2005, at 21:57:05
I think I've just worked myself into such a severely emotional state that I need a few weeks to regain some serenity. I hope you'll still be here when I eventually pop back. In the meantime, enjoy the company of all the new friends you've made during this fracas. I gave you my e-mail address, and you can Babblemail me as well. I just want no contact with the lunacy of the administration of these boards for about a month.
Stay sweet. Have faith. Ta. ;) Atticus
Posted by Angel Girl on January 26, 2005, at 15:47:44
In reply to It's only a few weeks away, luv -- l'll be back » Angel Girl, posted by Atticus on January 26, 2005, at 10:09:30
> I think I've just worked myself into such a severely emotional state that I need a few weeks to regain some serenity. I hope you'll still be here when I eventually pop back. In the meantime, enjoy the company of all the new friends you've made during this fracas. I gave you my e-mail address, and you can Babblemail me as well. I just want no contact with the lunacy of the administration of these boards for about a month.
> Stay sweet. Have faith. Ta. ;) Atticus
AtticusYour leaving has emotionally affected me in a very negative way. It would've been avoided had it not been for me and my stupid feelings. I kept expressing my concern for you on the boards and in babblemail and you kept saying not to worry, that you were ok but you aren't. I was right all along. You lied to me. Why did you do that? When I first came back to these boards, I promised myself that I wasn't going to let anybody penetrate my soul, I had to keep my guard up because when I don't, I end up getting hurt but when I was blocked, I received this overwhelming love and support from you and so many others. Before I knew it, I opened up my heart and I let you all in. It happened without me even being aware that I was letting my guard down. It was too late. I felt I had made friends and I felt good for the first time in a very long time. I felt understood and I wasn't and I'm still not used to people fighting for me. I'm just not worth all of the good that was and still is (I think) directed my way. I understood your fight with Dr. Bob but I knew that your posts were definitely crossing over the line of civility and increasingly so with each one. I PLEADED with you to stop but you didn't listen and now you have to leave because of what it has done to you. I knew you weren't ok even though you said that you were. Had it not been for me expressing my stupid feelings towards that damn word, all of this ugliness that has occurred would never have happened. Yes, you gave me your email addy, I used it, you didn't reply me.
So, here I am without my T to help me, like you unable to function IRL. I was supposed to go to my sister's today, I had to cancel. I've been hiding all this from my family for the last couple of weeks and doing a damn good job of it too but I was forced into telling her what happened. Surprising, she told me that word would've equally repulsed her too. I didn't expect her to understand. I feel so responsible for all the bad that has come out of this and I *felt* I had made a friend in you and now you are gone. I feel so horrible. My stupid feelings have caused so much pain to so many here. I never expected this snowball effect. I've never had anybody fight for me before. I feel so much sadness and guilt. Atticus, I'm soooooo very, very sorry for what I have done to you, I'm sooooo sorry for what I have done to so many here. My feelings aren't worth all this sadness and pain that I have caused so many. I should never have let my guard down and let so many people into my heart. It always leads to hurt, hurt for me and hurt for so many others here. The guilt and depression is just too much for me. I feel like curling up in a corner and dying. I feel so alone and I miss you terribly. I tried to save you several times but I couldn't. I don't even know if you'll even read this post to you. And all this over one bloody word that repulses me no less today than when I first saw it. DAMN THAT WORD AND DAMN MY FEELINGS.
AG
Posted by Gabbix2 on January 26, 2005, at 16:30:46
In reply to Re: It's only a few weeks away, luv -- l'll be back » Atticus, posted by Angel Girl on January 26, 2005, at 15:47:44
Angel Girl, sometimes I think the best way to show you care about someone is to respect their need to take a break, in this case from Babble.
I'm one who is really sensitive to too much input and regularly need to just shut everything off, even the good things. The people I have as long term friends are the ones who can accept that it's not personal, it's very necessary to my mental well being. Unfortunately, as much as I can care for someone, if after I've explained to them whats going on, if they continue to call, or ask if I'm ready to be social yet, I just need to take a longer time away.
Posted by Angel Girl on January 26, 2005, at 16:40:17
In reply to Re: It's only a few weeks away, luv -- l'll be back » Angel Girl, posted by Gabbix2 on January 26, 2005, at 16:30:46
> Angel Girl, sometimes I think the best way to show you care about someone is to respect their need to take a break, in this case from Babble.
> I'm one who is really sensitive to too much input and regularly need to just shut everything off, even the good things. The people I have as long term friends are the ones who can accept that it's not personal, it's very necessary to my mental well being. Unfortunately, as much as I can care for someone, if after I've explained to them whats going on, if they continue to call, or ask if I'm ready to be social yet, I just need to take a longer time away.
Hi GabbixThanks for your insight. I certainly don't want to add to what Atticus is going through and making it harder for him, so maybe you're right, I'll leave him alone so that he can deal with it as he sees fit. I certainly meant him no further harm by posting to him and I hope I haven't caused him any. Thank you again. I appreciate your input.
AG
Posted by Gabbix2 on January 26, 2005, at 16:54:49
In reply to Re: It's only a few weeks away, luv -- l'll be back » Gabbix2, posted by Angel Girl on January 26, 2005, at 16:40:17
You're welcome! I've been on the other side of it too, and it's really really hard but I learned after being told none too tactfully "JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!" well that's just what you have to do. I get tired of having to learn things that way.. :( However, my relationships are a lot better since I've learned to accept that, though it's still something that I have much trouble with, anyone with abandonment issues does. It's one of those life ironies though, the more easily you can let people go, the fewer people actually leave.
Posted by Angel Girl on January 26, 2005, at 17:07:18
In reply to Re: It's only a few weeks away, luv -- l'll be back » Angel Girl, posted by Gabbix2 on January 26, 2005, at 16:54:49
> You're welcome! I've been on the other side of it too, and it's really really hard but I learned after being told none too tactfully "JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!" well that's just what you have to do. I get tired of having to learn things that way.. :( However, my relationships are a lot better since I've learned to accept that, though it's still something that I have much trouble with, anyone with abandonment issues does. It's one of those life ironies though, the more easily you can let people go, the fewer people actually leave.
GabbixJust for clarification, has Atticus said something to you? He did give me his e-mail addy just as he left. I too have abandonment issues and that's why I am so affected by his departure even though I know he needs it to get well.
AG
Posted by Gabbix2 on January 26, 2005, at 17:29:55
In reply to Re: It's only a few weeks away, luv -- l'll be back » Gabbix2, posted by Angel Girl on January 26, 2005, at 17:07:18
>
> Just for clarification, has Atticus said something to you? He did give me his e-mail addy just as he left. I too have abandonment issues and that's why I am so affected by his departure even though I know he needs it to get well.
>No, absolutely not, we've never spoken off board. I was just offering you my perspective because I've been on both sides.
Someone I care about saying good bye triggers my emotional alarm system too, so I thought I could empathize with what you were going through. Sorry if I worried you.
Posted by Dr. Bob on January 26, 2005, at 19:29:55
In reply to Re: Sorry Atticus, but I don't think you are helping » alexandra_k, posted by Atticus on January 26, 2005, at 10:03:35
> Forcing the archiving of the offensive word utterly constituted at least SOME small act of defiance against the fascistic power structure here. It was meant to say to Bob that there are some things we can do here whether you like them or not.
I'm sorry if I make you feel powerless. But you do make an impact here, you know...
> Well, f[*]ck that.
Please don't use language that could offend others. The last time you were blocked, it was for 3 weeks, so this time it's for 6.
If you or others have questions about this or about posting policies in general, or are interested in alternative ways of expressing yourself, please see the FAQ:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#civil
Follow-ups regarding these issues, as well as replies to the above post, should of course themselves be civil.
Thanks,
Bob
Posted by Angel Girl on January 26, 2005, at 21:20:34
In reply to Re: It's only a few weeks away, luv -- l'll be back » Angel Girl, posted by Gabbix2 on January 26, 2005, at 17:29:55
> >
> > Just for clarification, has Atticus said something to you? He did give me his e-mail addy just as he left. I too have abandonment issues and that's why I am so affected by his departure even though I know he needs it to get well.
> >
>
> No, absolutely not, we've never spoken off board. I was just offering you my perspective because I've been on both sides.
> Someone I care about saying good bye triggers my emotional alarm system too, so I thought I could empathize with what you were going through. Sorry if I worried you.
>
>
>
>Gabbix
Not so much worried but confused since Atticus had given his e-mail addy to him after saying 'goodbye' on the boards last night. I do thank you for your insight from both sides. I certainly wouldn't want to do anything to harm Atticus's recovery time that he needs at this time, it's just so very hard for me because I thought we were starting to be friends and I have real abandonment issues and his departure fed directly into that. I know I'm not directly responsible for his situation but I am indirectly because this whole mess started because of my expressing my feelings over 'that' word. I really regret ever doing so.
However; I really do appreciate your input and insight.
Thank you!
AG
Posted by Angel Girl on January 26, 2005, at 21:32:20
In reply to Re: blocked for 6 weeks » Atticus, posted by Dr. Bob on January 26, 2005, at 19:29:55
> > Forcing the archiving of the offensive word utterly constituted at least SOME small act of defiance against the fascistic power structure here. It was meant to say to Bob that there are some things we can do here whether you like them or not.
>
> I'm sorry if I make you feel powerless. But you do make an impact here, you know...
>
> > Well, f[*]ck that.
>
> Please don't use language that could offend others. The last time you were blocked, it was for 3 weeks, so this time it's for 6.
>
> If you or others have questions about this or about posting policies in general, or are interested in alternative ways of expressing yourself, please see the FAQ:
>
> http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#civil
>
> Follow-ups regarding these issues, as well as replies to the above post, should of course themselves be civil.
>
> Thanks,
>
> BobDr. Bob
Could you please explain to me what impact you think that Atticus has here, from your perspective.
Also, what happened to automatic asterisking. Is the word that Atticus used not included in the words that would fall under the category of automatic asterisking? I have not tried different words to see what passes the test and what doesn't.
I'm also wondering why you have blocked Atticus when he has already stated that he is taking a *holiday* for several weeks? He wasn't going to be posting anyway. I was hoping that his *holiday* was not going to be as long as 6 weeks. Now I have to wait even longer for his return. :(
AG (who feels sadder by the minute)
Posted by karen_kay on January 27, 2005, at 10:25:35
In reply to Re: blocked for 6 weeks » Atticus, posted by Dr. Bob on January 26, 2005, at 19:29:55
f*ck that!
and also, what is watch yourself? it is like a hidden camera so i can watch myself sitting in my underpants writing profane words? just curious.....
sorry atticus.
(oh, and why am i swearing? i just look for every reason in the world to swear you know)
and another thing, why is it when i type the letters for profane words, they are automatically replaced with *? weird! f*ck that too!
Posted by NikkiT2 on January 27, 2005, at 12:38:59
In reply to Re: blocked for 6 weeks » Dr. Bob, posted by Angel Girl on January 26, 2005, at 21:32:20
You can choose to have the profanity blocker turned on or not. Dr Bob did say that if someone chose to not have it on, and still used a profanity, then it would result in a block.
So it looks like Atticus cose not to have it turned on, and as such, the word didn't include a *
Nikki
Posted by Angel Girl on January 27, 2005, at 14:38:46
In reply to Re: blocked for 6 weeks » Angel Girl, posted by NikkiT2 on January 27, 2005, at 12:38:59
> You can choose to have the profanity blocker turned on or not. Dr Bob did say that if someone chose to not have it on, and still used a profanity, then it would result in a block.
>
> So it looks like Atticus cose not to have it turned on, and as such, the word didn't include a *
>
> NikkiNikki
Thank you for clearing that up. I hadn't really read any of the threads that discussed the automatic asterisking or even tried out any words to see what would happen. Although, I did notice that one word I used several days ago, did get an automatic asterisk, but at this point I do not recall what the word was but it was not the one that Atticus used. I also do not know where it is that you go to turn it on and/or off nor do I understand why anybody would want to turn it off.
AG
Posted by NikkiT2 on January 27, 2005, at 16:09:20
In reply to Re: blocked for 6 weeks » NikkiT2, posted by Angel Girl on January 27, 2005, at 14:38:46
hey,
I can't remember where to turn it off, but I'm sure someone will tell us soon!!
And, I think some people didn't like the "baby sitting" aspect of the filter, and so chose to turn it off.. That was my understanding anyway!
Nikki xx
Posted by Angel Girl on January 27, 2005, at 17:12:43
In reply to Re: blocked for 6 weeks » Angel Girl, posted by NikkiT2 on January 27, 2005, at 16:09:20
> hey,
>
> I can't remember where to turn it off, but I'm sure someone will tell us soon!!
>
> And, I think some people didn't like the "baby sitting" aspect of the filter, and so chose to turn it off.. That was my understanding anyway!
>
> Nikki xxHmmmmm!!! I'm assuming then that those that choose to turn it off may need to use a little more self-control than those who don't, unless they either never use inappropriate words or don't mind getting blocked or PBCd???? lol!!!
AG
Posted by Dinah on January 27, 2005, at 19:08:57
In reply to Re: blocked for 6 weeks » Angel Girl, posted by NikkiT2 on January 27, 2005, at 16:09:20
I don't think it's a matter of turning it off, so much as it is of overwriting the asterisk.
Could be wrong.
Posted by alexandra_k on January 27, 2005, at 19:23:45
In reply to Re: blocked for 6 weeks » NikkiT2, posted by Dinah on January 27, 2005, at 19:08:57
You can turn it off by re registering (I think that is how you do it) and changing your settings.
Its default is on.
In the confirmation step asterisks will automatically appear. If they don't then you won't get blocked for using that word unasterisked. Though there may be a bit of haggling because 'Dick' can be a proper name or used in the other sense...
Anyway Atticus was making a statement about what he perceived to be the 'babysitting' nature of the system by turning it off and inserting his own asterisks.
Either he forgot to asterisk or he did it intentionally. He was told before that if he forgot to asterisk he would face the consequences and it was his decision to turn it off.
Check out the archives for the exact thread...
Posted by Angel Girl on January 27, 2005, at 21:24:43
In reply to Automated asterisking, posted by alexandra_k on January 27, 2005, at 19:23:45
> You can turn it off by re registering (I think that is how you do it) and changing your settings.
>
> Its default is on.
>
> In the confirmation step asterisks will automatically appear. If they don't then you won't get blocked for using that word unasterisked. Though there may be a bit of haggling because 'Dick' can be a proper name or used in the other sense...
>
> Anyway Atticus was making a statement about what he perceived to be the 'babysitting' nature of the system by turning it off and inserting his own asterisks.
>
> Either he forgot to asterisk or he did it intentionally. He was told before that if he forgot to asterisk he would face the consequences and it was his decision to turn it off.
>
> Check out the archives for the exact thread...
alexandraI think I can trust what you're saying to be correct. Thanks for the info.
AG
Posted by Dr. Bob on January 28, 2005, at 7:43:43
In reply to Automated asterisking, posted by alexandra_k on January 27, 2005, at 19:23:45
> You can turn it off by re registering (I think that is how you do it) and changing your settings.
It's kind of inconsistent, sorry, but this setting is separate from the registration system:
http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/settings.pl
Bob
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