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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 24 of 24. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by alexandra_k on November 27, 2004, at 0:05:52
I don't know anything really about computers so I have no idea how hard this would be to implement, but I would really like to be able to block myself from posting sometimes.
I know that I can set limits on how many times I can refresh. The trouble is that if I tried to refresh and couldn't, then I'd just change my limits!
If I could block myself, on the other hand, then that would be irreversible until the time was up.
Not that I'd do it often, but it would really help me with deadlines...
I get the sense that sometimes people intentionally say stuff to try to get blocked becasue they think they need time out. Maybe that would stop that from happening too???
Posted by Toph on November 27, 2004, at 7:08:49
In reply to blocking ourself, posted by alexandra_k on November 27, 2004, at 0:05:52
>
> I get the sense that sometimes people intentionally say stuff to try to get blocked becasue they think they need time out...
>
>This idea would never be implemented because it's too good (see above).
Posted by alexandra_k on December 1, 2004, at 18:09:20
In reply to blocking ourself, posted by alexandra_k on November 27, 2004, at 0:05:52
Posted by Dr. Bob on December 3, 2004, at 3:40:01
In reply to blocking ourself, posted by alexandra_k on November 27, 2004, at 0:05:52
> I know that I can set limits on how many times I can refresh. The trouble is that if I tried to refresh and couldn't, then I'd just change my limits!
Have you really done that? Technology isn't always the answer...
Bob
Posted by alexandra_k on December 3, 2004, at 16:21:07
In reply to Re: blocking ourself, posted by Dr. Bob on December 3, 2004, at 3:40:01
ok nope I confess I haven't actually tried it. But I do know that I frequently make decisions regarding my future conduct only to have it all go completely out the window in a moment of impulse.
There is also the following point:
>I get the sense that sometimes people intentionally say stuff to try to get blocked becasue they think they need time out. Maybe that would stop that from happening too???
But I am happy enough to see how it goes for me with setting my own limits. And I figure that I can request you to block me if I don't do too well on my own?
I just thought that blocking myself would be preferable to having you block me.
Posted by verne on December 3, 2004, at 21:17:23
In reply to Re: blocking ourself » Dr. Bob, posted by alexandra_k on December 3, 2004, at 16:21:07
I've intentionally said something in order to be blocked. Lately I've been nibbling around the fringes of civility in an attempt to get blocked.
Did you once mention you had borderline personality disorder? Me too. In my case, this leads to a real struggle controlling impulses to buy things I shouldn't, gamble, drink, and other things I can't seem to keep to a reasonable limit.
I can't count the times I've bought a movie with a scene that really charms me only to throw it away because I can't stop watching it. No matter how many times I put it on still frame, I can't really "have" it.
I've bought, thrown away, and rebought thousands of dollars worth of stuff. Sometimes I'll fish it out of the garbage, only to throw it away later.
I pour out unopened bottles of beer the next day, I cancel subscriptions; I live in constant shame and regret that I have no "will power".
The same goes for psycho-babble. I can't control that either. It's not so much a problem with impulse control as following the course of least resistance. Emptiness, lonliness, and boredom lead me here.
And since I have no brakes, I wish I could block myself. I'm not sure Babble is healthy for me. I really need to be in touch more with my real world.
Not that this isn't real. I just need to get in "touch" with my body, others, and my immediate surroundings. After awhile, online socializing or "chat" all sounds the same. I agonize over every misstep, I rehash and digest, I try to save grace with constant revisions, corrections, a good finish or lengthy spin cycle - but I still come away empty.
My perspective is lousy tonight. Drinking again.
verne
Posted by alexandra_k on December 4, 2004, at 10:01:21
In reply to Re: blocking ourself » alexandra_k, posted by verne on December 3, 2004, at 21:17:23
> Did you once mention you had borderline personality disorder? Me too. In my case, this leads to a real struggle controlling impulses to buy things I shouldn't, gamble, drink, and other things I can't seem to keep to a reasonable limit.
Yeah, I have been diagnosed with BPD. Drug use, impulsive spending etc etc are a problem for me. I make a decision about how I am going to behave in future, but don't seem to be able to stick to the limits that I set myself. I know I need to learn to do this, but the fact is that at this stage I am not very good at it. As an interim measure I have learned how to get the environment to help me set limits. For example, it is no use my deciding that I won't use anymore if I have drugs in my room and I still keep contact with dealers etc. If I get rid of the drugs and throw away all those phone numbers then I am able to get through that moment of weakness - because I simply cannot get anything. I have learned to make promises to my therapists because if I do this then I mostly keep them, whereas promises to myself are fairly much worthless in a moment of weakness.
>I live in constant shame and regret that I have no "will power".
Yeah, me too.
> The same goes for psycho-babble. I can't control that either. It's not so much a problem with impulse control as following the course of least resistance. Emptiness, lonliness, and boredom lead me here.Yeah, same for me. I also babble as part of avoidance of other stuff though. I used to be a computer game / x-box junkie. That is what I would do when I was avoiding stuff. Now it is babble - which I figure is at least slightly more social :-) But I can find myself compulsively checking and responding because what I have to do seems too much for me somehow. It is funny kind of because if you are blocked then you can still check them. But somehow a block frees me from that as well. And then I just get into my work as I can manage sometimes. Sometimes my work seems overwhelming and I hate it. But if I can just get through that first half-hour then I love it. I really do. I guess it is a love / hate kind of thing... Story of my life perhaps...
> And since I have no brakes, I wish I could block myself. I'm not sure Babble is healthy for me. I really need to be in touch more with my real world. Not that this isn't real. I just need to get in "touch" with my body, others, and my immediate surroundings. After awhile, online socializing or "chat" all sounds the same. I agonize over every misstep, I rehash and digest, I try to save grace with constant revisions, corrections, a good finish or lengthy spin cycle - but I still come away empty.Yeah, I feel like that sometimes too. And the worst thing is that when I am in a good place babbling is fine, but when I am in a bad place, that is when even babble seems to be empty somehow. Of course it is me really. But it is hard.
((((verne))))
Hang in there. It is both conforting to me and horrifying to me that other people feel so similarly to me, and struggle with similar issues to me. Conforting to me, but horrifying for the others who have to live with this stuff as well.
Posted by alesta on December 5, 2004, at 3:29:06
In reply to Re: blocking ourself » alexandra_k, posted by verne on December 3, 2004, at 21:17:23
<Emptiness, lonliness, and boredom lead me here.<late night rambling> same here. and i hate it that our communications have to be all about the words we type. (but i'm in a situation of isolation right now, so it's better than nothing.) when you're in person you can let loose a little more and just be, enjoy another person's simple presence and smile, for instance..you don't have to rely on words solely to express yourself. you do sometimes come away empty..too many people, too little interaction. but the socializing here can also at times make you feel better (for me). maybe it's because i'm more extraverted than you are that i feel this. (i think adjusting to this board actually made me into more of an extravert..and it's more rewarding that way for me.) i'm not sure how accurate all this that i'm saying is..i just felt like rambling (like in the real world). i feel like i have to be perfectly accurate here, like you..not always fun, huh?..
it is interesting to think about what face-to-face interaction would be like with these same ppl..what an interesting exercise in human interaction that would be. i bet it would be totally different. there'd be the whole new dimension of facial expressions, tone of voice, speech patterns, body language, etc..words would melt into the background. any thoughts? (if i bored you, sorry..kinda went off on a tangent. just found the topic interesting.):-) hope this post doesn't seem weird or boring.
ami
Posted by Dr. Bob on December 5, 2004, at 23:28:39
In reply to Re: blocking ourself » verne, posted by alesta on December 5, 2004, at 3:29:06
> it is interesting to think about what face-to-face interaction would be like with these same ppl..what an interesting exercise in human interaction that would be. i bet it would be totally different. there'd be the whole new dimension of facial expressions, tone of voice, speech patterns, body language, etc..words would melt into the background. any thoughts?
That reminds me of the party we planned to have next year:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20040902/msgs/391925.html
Bob
Posted by Dinah on December 6, 2004, at 2:46:58
In reply to Re: blocking ourself, posted by Dr. Bob on December 3, 2004, at 3:40:01
Dr. Bob, I think you ought to give a bit more consideration to this idea of self-blocking. At times I had trouble staying away from Babble, and once or twice tried to get myself blocked without being uncivil. I know others have as well.
Your anti-addiction system is so simple that today's toddlers could probably manage to get around it. Plus, I think that sometimes what people need is a break from actually being able to post. I know that people might impulsively block themselves then regret it, but that's part of the consequences of making a decision.
I truly think that adding the ability to self block would be a kindness on your part.
Unless I'm missing some reason where it could cause more harm than good?
If there are technical reasons for it being difficult, perhaps you could just allow people to request a one week block on Admin.
Posted by saw on December 6, 2004, at 2:55:20
In reply to Re: blocking ourself » Dr. Bob, posted by Dinah on December 6, 2004, at 2:46:58
I agree Dinah
My work is so behind, yet I am lured to babble again and again.
Posting is not always my issue, it is perusing the boards for hours on end.
A self block in my case would have to prohibit me from entering babble at all.
Sabrina
Posted by Dinah on December 6, 2004, at 3:09:57
In reply to Re: blocking ourself » Dinah, posted by saw on December 6, 2004, at 2:55:20
Have you tried the ineffectual anti-addiction feature?
Posted by saw on December 6, 2004, at 6:13:59
In reply to Re: blocking ourself » saw, posted by Dinah on December 6, 2004, at 3:09:57
Yes, ineffectual because I turned it on and then turned it off within a half hour.
None of this, of course, is Dr Bob's fault, but rather my own weakness and inability to divide my time between work and play properly.
It would be nice though, that when I would like to reprimand my babble behaviour, that with a click of the mouse I am instantly blocked from accessing babble at all. And to take this "fantasy" a bit further, I could even choose my block, i.e. one day, 3 days etc.
I doubt any of this is possible. Sigh.
I know that no matter how I promise myself to curtail time spent on babble, I am lured over and over again by the comfort I find here.
Sabrina
Posted by Dr. Bob on December 7, 2004, at 3:12:03
In reply to Re: blocking ourself » Dr. Bob, posted by Dinah on December 6, 2004, at 2:46:58
> Dr. Bob, I think you ought to give a bit more consideration to this idea of self-blocking.
Hmm, maybe I should. But didn't you once block yourself effectively by doing something to your registration?
Bob
Posted by alexandra_k on December 7, 2004, at 4:47:37
In reply to Re: blocking ourself, posted by Dr. Bob on December 7, 2004, at 3:12:03
Ok. I need sleep, but I think it is strange that you are resistant to the idea.
I emailed you and requested you to block me for a certain length of time and you did this (and I appreciate that).
But think how much more empowering it would be for me to be able to take responsibility for that myself instead of having to ask you to do it.
Of course it would be even more empowering if I didn't need to use those measures in the first place, but one step at a time...
Whats the problem?
Would you really prefer us to send you emails individually to request that you block us?
Why?
Posted by Dinah on December 7, 2004, at 6:07:11
In reply to Re: blocking ourself, posted by Dr. Bob on December 7, 2004, at 3:12:03
Yeah, it's a trick I learned from Willow. Change your password to an unremembered string of characters.
And last time, I increased the ability to make it work by also changing my email address to a fake one. So I needed your help getting back to posting as Dinah.
So yes, it can be done.
So next time I see someone asking you to block them, should I just tell them how to do the password self block? You'll just have to help each one get back in as you graciously did for me. :)
Posted by Dr. Bob on December 7, 2004, at 7:56:48
In reply to Re: blocking ourself » Dr. Bob, posted by Dinah on December 7, 2004, at 6:07:11
> So next time I see someone asking you to block them, should I just tell them how to do the password self block?
How about it?
> You'll just have to help each one get back in as you graciously did for me. :)
Hmm, I knew you were you, since we had emailed before, but would I necessarily know they were them?
Bob
Posted by alexandra_k on December 7, 2004, at 16:17:39
In reply to Re: blocking ourself, posted by Dr. Bob on December 7, 2004, at 7:56:48
> > So next time I see someone asking you to block them, should I just tell them how to do the password self block?
>
> How about it?
>
> > You'll just have to help each one get back in as you graciously did for me. :)
>
> Hmm, I knew you were you, since we had emailed before, but would I necessarily know they were them?Sorry, how is all that supposed to be more empowering?
Posted by alexandra_k on December 11, 2004, at 18:30:30
In reply to Re: blocking ourself » Dr. Bob, posted by alexandra_k on December 7, 2004, at 16:17:39
Posted by alexandra_k on December 11, 2004, at 19:35:33
In reply to HELLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO (nm), posted by alexandra_k on December 11, 2004, at 18:30:30
sorry.
I just worry that this issue will be ignored and then archived. I still think that we should be able to block ourself and it seems that other people think the same.
I think we have good reasons.
And I can't think of a good reason why not.
Posted by Dr. Bob on December 14, 2004, at 0:40:36
In reply to and how old am I???, posted by alexandra_k on December 11, 2004, at 19:35:33
> I think we have good reasons.
> And I can't think of a good reason why not.What if someone changes their mind?
Bob
Posted by alexandra_k on December 14, 2004, at 22:48:22
In reply to Re: blocking ourself, posted by Dr. Bob on December 14, 2004, at 0:40:36
You can say 'just one more - okay?' as much as you like. It ain't gonna happen.
That is precisely what makes the notion of a self imposed block different from the current notion of setting limits.
Posted by alexandra_k on December 16, 2004, at 21:46:30
In reply to Tough. Thats the whole point. » Dr. Bob, posted by alexandra_k on December 14, 2004, at 22:48:22
Is it that if we babblemail you and request you to block us (along with reasons) then we could always email you again if those reasons no longer apply or whatever.
So there is some discretion...
?
Posted by alexandra_k on December 19, 2004, at 11:57:13
In reply to Re: blocking ourself, posted by Dr. Bob on December 7, 2004, at 7:56:48
This is the end of the thread.
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