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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 21 of 21. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Dr. Bob on August 3, 2004, at 18:16:42
In reply to Re: blocked- o dear, posted by crazychickuk on August 3, 2004, at 12:19:56
Posted by crazychickuk on August 3, 2004, at 12:19:56
In reply to http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20040730/msgs/373576.html, posted by Dr. Bob on August 3, 2004, at 11:13:46
> oops this got all a little out of hand, i dont see anywhere where chemist was out of hand? :-S
Posted by KaraS on August 3, 2004, at 19:35:38
In reply to Re: blocked- o dear « crazychickuk, posted by Dr. Bob on August 3, 2004, at 18:16:42
> Posted by crazychickuk on August 3, 2004, at 12:19:56
>
> In reply to Re: blocked » Impermanence » jlbl2l » chemist, posted by Dr. Bob on August 3, 2004, at 11:13:46
>
> > oops this got all a little out of hand, i dont see anywhere where chemist was out of hand? :-S
>
Dr. Bob,
I understand that it can be a tough job sometimes to monitor this board and keep it civil and unoffensive to all. What I don't understand is why you are so hard on Chemist and others who care so much about this board and the people who post on it. I don't know much about the others involved here so I'm not going to comment on them but everything that Chemist says is to protect the people on this site and make sure that they feel safe here and have good information/advice to follow. Can't their be some leniency for those with good intentions?Kara
Posted by Dr. Bob on August 3, 2004, at 20:02:23
In reply to Re: blocked- o dear - Dr. Bob, posted by KaraS on August 3, 2004, at 19:35:38
> I understand that it can be a tough job sometimes to monitor this board and keep it civil and unoffensive to all. What I don't understand is why you are so hard on Chemist and others who care so much about this board and the people who post on it... Can't their be some leniency for those with good intentions?
I feel bad about people whose buttons get pushed, but (a) uncivil words can hurt even when posted with good intentions, (b) I'd also like Impermanence et al. to feel welcome here, and (c) leniency is tricky, but I did make it 2 weeks and not 3...
Bob
Posted by gardenergirl on August 3, 2004, at 22:18:17
In reply to Re: good intentions, posted by Dr. Bob on August 3, 2004, at 20:02:23
Oh no, my T is on vacation for two weeks, and now chemist is gone for two weeks???
Batten down the hatches!
gg
Posted by KaraS on August 4, 2004, at 1:32:04
In reply to Re: good intentions, posted by gardenergirl on August 3, 2004, at 22:18:17
> Oh no, my T is on vacation for two weeks, and now chemist is gone for two weeks???
>
> Batten down the hatches!
>
> gg
And Larry Hoover is gone for two weeks too! How will we survive????-K
Posted by Sad Panda on August 4, 2004, at 1:38:04
In reply to Re: good intentions, posted by Dr. Bob on August 3, 2004, at 20:02:23
> > I understand that it can be a tough job sometimes to monitor this board and keep it civil and unoffensive to all. What I don't understand is why you are so hard on Chemist and others who care so much about this board and the people who post on it... Can't their be some leniency for those with good intentions?
>
> I feel bad about people whose buttons get pushed, but (a) uncivil words can hurt even when posted with good intentions, (b) I'd also like Impermanence et al. to feel welcome here, and (c) leniency is tricky, but I did make it 2 weeks and not 3...
>
> Bob
>
>I prefer to treat people I talk to on the internet the same as I would in real life. If Impermanence et al attacked me in the same way they have attacked Chemist, then I would wish to defend myself too.
Cheers,
Panda.
Posted by Dr. Bob on August 4, 2004, at 7:47:56
In reply to Re: good intentions » Dr. Bob, posted by Sad Panda on August 4, 2004, at 1:38:04
> If Impermanence et al attacked me in the same way they have attacked Chemist, then I would wish to defend myself too.
That wish is perfectly understandable, and it's fine to defend yourself as long as you do it in a civil way. Without attacking back.
Bob
Posted by Jai Narayan on August 4, 2004, at 8:01:12
In reply to Re: defending oneself, posted by Dr. Bob on August 4, 2004, at 7:47:56
Dr. B this is a perfect time to mention your guest for this week has some very helpful hints on how to communciate on line when in a conflict.
Posted by gardenergirl on August 4, 2004, at 8:11:16
In reply to Re: defending oneself, posted by Jai Narayan on August 4, 2004, at 8:01:12
Good thought, Jai. I'll try to get it rolling here.
Ms. Munro,
Can you help us with how to best respond when we are feeling the need to defend ourselves to another poster? This thread is an example, although I don't know if those involved would wish to have it scrutinized publicly (at least more than it already is...).But I had an example recently when a poster asked for my credentials in a way that felt to me to be, well, smarmy is the word that comes to mind. (I would be glad to provide a link if that would help and would be okay with Dr. Bob, i.e. not considered to be uncivil). I tend to be a sensitve type, and can often perceive criticism even if it is not intended, so I am especially interested in any tips.
Thanks in advance,
gg
Posted by gardenergirl on August 4, 2004, at 8:12:17
In reply to Re: good intentions, posted by KaraS on August 4, 2004, at 1:32:04
Posted by AuntieMel on August 4, 2004, at 11:31:31
In reply to Re: good intentions, posted by KaraS on August 4, 2004, at 1:32:04
I must have missed something.
Posted by gardenergirl on August 4, 2004, at 11:38:40
In reply to Re: What happened to Lar? » KaraS, posted by AuntieMel on August 4, 2004, at 11:31:31
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/alter/20040718/msgs/373140.html
Just taking a break.
gg
Posted by AuntieMel on August 4, 2004, at 11:46:07
In reply to Re: What happened to Lar? » AuntieMel, posted by gardenergirl on August 4, 2004, at 11:38:40
Posted by KaraS on August 4, 2004, at 18:51:21
In reply to Lots of chocolate? (nm) » KaraS, posted by gardenergirl on August 4, 2004, at 8:12:17
Usually works for me! (Hope I don't gain a million pounds before Larry and Chemist get back.)
Posted by KaraS on August 4, 2004, at 18:53:05
In reply to Re: What happened to Lar? » KaraS, posted by AuntieMel on August 4, 2004, at 11:31:31
> I must have missed something.
Not to worry. He's just taking a much needed and well-deserved vacation.
Posted by KaraS on August 4, 2004, at 19:01:16
In reply to Re: good intentions, posted by Dr. Bob on August 3, 2004, at 20:02:23
> > I understand that it can be a tough job sometimes to monitor this board and keep it civil and unoffensive to all. What I don't understand is why you are so hard on Chemist and others who care so much about this board and the people who post on it... Can't their be some leniency for those with good intentions?
>
> I feel bad about people whose buttons get pushed, but (a) uncivil words can hurt even when posted with good intentions, (b) I'd also like Impermanence et al. to feel welcome here, and (c) leniency is tricky, but I did make it 2 weeks and not 3...
>
> Bob
I guess my confusion then lies in why you would want someone who recommends taking alcohol with benzos (or was it barbiturates?) to feel as welcomed as someone like Chemist who provides so much great information. Perhaps as the moderator who's role it is to promote equality, that is a luxury you cannot afford...
Posted by Kali Munro on August 4, 2004, at 21:25:08
In reply to Munro: Re: defending oneself, posted by gardenergirl on August 4, 2004, at 8:11:16
Hi GG,
You raise a good point about how someone can actually say something insensitive, and different people will react to the comments differently depending on their dispostions and sensitivities, and sometimes we can perceive insensitivity in others when it may not be coming from them but from our own insecurities or fears. Sometimes it's hard to know the difference. So, sometimes you might want to "check it out" by asking them what they meant. In your example, you could ask the person why they want to know your credentials. It puts the onus back on the person to explain their intentions rather than you feeling like you have to defend yourself. I don't know the context because I haven't read the posts but asking a question or choosing not to answer questions you're uncomfortable with are both options.
Kali
Posted by gardenergirl on August 5, 2004, at 8:37:25
In reply to Re: Munro: Re: defending oneself, posted by Kali Munro on August 4, 2004, at 21:25:08
Thanks!
gg
Posted by jay on August 6, 2004, at 17:23:08
In reply to Re: good intentions » Dr. Bob, posted by KaraS on August 4, 2004, at 19:01:16
> > > I understand that it can be a tough job sometimes to monitor this board and keep it civil and unoffensive to all. What I don't understand is why you are so hard on Chemist and others who care so much about this board and the people who post on it... Can't their be some leniency for those with good intentions?
> >
> > I feel bad about people whose buttons get pushed, but (a) uncivil words can hurt even when posted with good intentions, (b) I'd also like Impermanence et al. to feel welcome here, and (c) leniency is tricky, but I did make it 2 weeks and not 3...
> >
> > Bob
>
>
> I guess my confusion then lies in why you would want someone who recommends taking alcohol with benzos (or was it barbiturates?) to feel as welcomed as someone like Chemist who provides so much great information. Perhaps as the moderator who's role it is to promote equality, that is a luxury you cannot afford...
>
>Maybe the best way to have stated the above would be "I believe that combining alcohol and barbituates may be unhealthy." The reason I say this is the 'debate' over MPD, and some saying that it's a black and white issue (aka I am right, everyone else is wrong.) Then there are the counter-attacks, and it becomes just one big mess. Of course there is still some 'gray' in this area, but we can try to minimize it.
Best wishes,
Jay
Posted by Sad Panda on August 6, 2004, at 23:26:42
In reply to Re: good intentions » KaraS, posted by jay on August 6, 2004, at 17:23:08
> "I believe that combining alcohol and barbituates may be unhealthy." The reason I say this is the 'debate' over MPD, and some saying that it's a black and white issue
>
>It's pretty black & white to me, to suggest benzos are as bad as combining alcohol & barbiturates is ludicrous and there is no need for debate. :)
Cheers,
Panda.
Posted by karen_kay on August 9, 2004, at 8:56:31
In reply to Re: blocked- o dear « crazychickuk, posted by Dr. Bob on August 3, 2004, at 18:16:42
lar and chemist, oh my! sorry guys :( i'm just catching up. (and i'm keeping it admin sir! :)
oh wait, i have a question mr. bob, can i get blocked for not keeping it administrative? i sure hope not..... hang in there guys, hoping my foot's not in my mouth now X
This is the end of the thread.
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