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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 11 of 11. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by partlycloudy on June 19, 2004, at 10:30:42
Dr. Bob, I guess I don't understand that I am not supposed to respond when someone else posts something that i find offensive or upsetting? And wasn't that poster blocked? I thought this was a place where I could say how I feel, but I guess that according to the rules, that's not the case.
So I just won't bother posting. Sorry to trouble you.
Posted by partlycloudy on June 19, 2004, at 10:31:47
In reply to My pcb, posted by partlycloudy on June 19, 2004, at 10:30:42
And all I was aksing was who this poster was - I hadn't seen the same before.
Adios.
Posted by gardenergirl on June 19, 2004, at 11:30:22
In reply to Re: My pcb. p.s., posted by partlycloudy on June 19, 2004, at 10:31:47
partly cloudy,
I have to admit, I wondered similar things about that poster. And I found it hard to read so many posts like that. But like a moth to a flame.....It sure can be hard to post a question about it and have it fall within civility guidelines. I guess I just try to be really vague, or I just have to let myself wonder. I asked on Open and got some info. which helped me to understand what was going on. Feel free to email me and I will share.
gardenergirl 88 at yahoo dot com
Take care,
gg
Posted by Dinah on June 19, 2004, at 13:52:04
In reply to Re: My pcb. p.s., posted by gardenergirl on June 19, 2004, at 11:30:22
Gardenergirl, could you do me a favor, and please clarify that it was not me who said anything about Brio in Open?
Posted by SebastianMentalmouth on June 19, 2004, at 13:53:53
In reply to Re: My pcb. p.s., posted by gardenergirl on June 19, 2004, at 11:30:22
I'd love to hear what's going on I'll be e-mailing :-) You're a sweetheart for sharing
Your fellow moth
S
> partly cloudy,
> I have to admit, I wondered similar things about that poster. And I found it hard to read so many posts like that. But like a moth to a flame.....
>
> It sure can be hard to post a question about it and have it fall within civility guidelines. I guess I just try to be really vague, or I just have to let myself wonder. I asked on Open and got some info. which helped me to understand what was going on. Feel free to email me and I will share.
>
> gardenergirl 88 at yahoo dot com
>
> Take care,
>
> gg
Posted by spoc on June 19, 2004, at 17:01:30
In reply to My pcb, posted by partlycloudy on June 19, 2004, at 10:30:42
> Dr. Bob, I guess I don't understand that I am not supposed to respond when someone else posts something that i find offensive or upsetting? And wasn't that poster blocked?
<<<<< Hi,
I hope you'll feel better through coming to see this particular pbc as nothing personal or confusing, because it really looks like an example of the pure technicality type. I can be very sensitive, but this type of pbc I think I could "process," as it falls under the heading of ways we just can't refer to people, no matter what. The aim is for that to be a constant regardless of what happened. I think discussing it when someone can't reply is kind of an informal addendum, opposite of what may feel more appropriate due to presumed consensus.
Really just dry technicalities based on one of the basic rules, rather than one of those more ambiguous cases that end up being decided by the more negative of the possible interpretations. Does that difference help?
> I thought this was a place where I could say how I feel, but I guess that according to the rules, that's not the case.
>
> So I just won't bother posting. Sorry to trouble you.<<<<<< Maybe that wouldn't be something you'd actually like, all things considered. It might help you feel better to think of the times that you've said you were upset by the existence of a debate or conflict of some type going on on the board, even though you weren't involved in it. I think you meant that you again felt that way in this case, although that particular poster stood out most to you. So, maybe having people express what bothers them here, and/or what bothers them about others, isn't actually one of the more comforting liberties to you?
I hope that helps somehow, gives a different perspective to try putting it into. :- )
Posted by partlycloudy on June 19, 2004, at 18:49:35
In reply to Re: My pcb, posted by spoc on June 19, 2004, at 17:01:30
I do not participate in debates. I am not interested in proving a point or portraying my opinion in that process. No very Socratic but neither am I. Some people enjoy that form of communication. it distresses me greatly.
Posted by spoc on June 19, 2004, at 19:46:08
In reply to Re: My pcb » spoc, posted by partlycloudy on June 19, 2004, at 18:49:35
> I do not participate in debates. I am not interested in proving a point or portraying my opinion in that process. No very Socratic but neither am I. Some people enjoy that form of communication. it distresses me greatly.
<<<< Oh, I didn't mean that at all! Absolutely no one should think for a minute they should do that if they're not comfortable with it. I'm uneasy myself, even when I decide to. No, I was just referring to your statement that you felt as if the pbc meant you couldn't talk about how you feel, and you didn't like that. I meant that if you compare it to the debate/conflict threads you've previously indicated upset you (i.e., described as "sharp & pointy," "hostile"), you may see that what those are are actually also cases where people are discussing something that bothered them about a general or specific board matter, but they troubled you enough just being there that you even felt you had to stay away for awhile.
So I meant, in both cases people are talking about how they feel about something that bothers them here, but you didn't find it comfortable in the latter case. So instead of feeling bad, you could look at the whole subject of people expressing what they don't like or disagree with here as something you actually don't want, to see or therefore do. Does that make more sense?
Posted by Dr. Bob on June 19, 2004, at 20:34:50
In reply to My pcb, posted by partlycloudy on June 19, 2004, at 10:30:42
> I guess I don't understand that I am not supposed to respond when someone else posts something that i find offensive or upsetting? ... I thought this was a place where I could say how I feel, but I guess that according to the rules, that's not the case.
Thanks for the chance to clarify. You can say how you feel, but only if you do so in a civil way. And it tends to be more civil to use "I-statements". For example, if you feel offended or upset, then say you feel offended or upset -- and not that someone else's post is offensive or upsetting.
There's more in the FAQ:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#civil
including links to posts by others, for example:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20040112/msgs/300450.html
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20040112/msgs/320097.html
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20040527/msgs/357716.htmlDoes that make more sense now?
Bob
Posted by gardenergirl on June 19, 2004, at 22:54:25
In reply to Re: Open » gardenergirl, posted by Dinah on June 19, 2004, at 13:52:04
but I know I haven't run into you in Open recently (miss you) so it couldn't have been you.
gg
Posted by partlycloudy on June 20, 2004, at 6:34:38
In reply to Re: saying how you feel » partlycloudy, posted by Dr. Bob on June 19, 2004, at 20:34:50
Yes, thank you.
This is the end of the thread.
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