![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 18 of 18. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Dr. Bob on October 17, 2003, at 19:31:34
In reply to Re: wellbutrin and strattera loolot, posted by MamaB on October 17, 2003, at 14:49:01
> I came to this board to learn from other's experiencence, not to give professional advice -- I see too much of that, not just here, but on other boards on all kinds of topics (IMHO). One should be VERY judicious about giving medical advice over the internet, be they a professional, or someone who has "done a lot of reading". I have decided that IF I AM ASKED (depending on the situation) I will share my experience. However, I think I stepped over my own personally drawn line in my post before last one. All that does is bring every so-called-expert out of the woodwork wanting to contradict me. For that reason, I shall post as an inquirer, which is what I first had in mind. Don't be afraid to ask a question though,we all have much to learn. I am not sure why Dr. Bob lets some of this "advising" go on, but it's not my decision. Do you have an answer Dr. Bob?
Well, advice is one type of peer support. And these issues are addressed in the FAQ:
> Don't necessarily believe everything you hear. Just because you see something on the Internet doesn't mean it's true. Consider the quality of the information as you decide whom to trust. The only messages I take responsibility for are my own.
>
> Professionals, especially, should be careful not to establish unintentional therapist-patient relationships.
>
> http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#purpose
> http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#trustBob
Posted by MamaB on October 18, 2003, at 7:33:37
Dr. Bob,
Yesterday I brought your attention to the individual who gives so much "advice". You replied by telling me this was peer "support."
OK, I can buy that. However, this same individual has repeatedly "bragged" about his (I believe he is male)drug abuse. This was a post I read later yeaterday:
Re: Prozac = great for Ultram withdrawal, q to Ame » btnd Ame Sans Vie 10/17/03
I replied to him and will probably get a fire storm in return. In reading back over old posts it is my opinion that this person has some issues with the use versus abuse of medications.
While his obvious intelligence attracts posters to his "advice", I have to ask is it really beneficial to have newcomers exposed to this?!
Otherwise you are doing a great service with your website.
Posted by stjames on October 18, 2003, at 12:26:56
In reply to Boasting about Drug abuse, posted by MamaB on October 18, 2003, at 7:33:37
MamaB said:
One can know everything there is to know about neurophysiology, and pharmacology but abusing is abusing and I don't think it should be bragged about on this forum! Parachuting! You have obviously been "around the block" on illegal as well as abusing legal drugs! I hope Dr, Bob reads this one.
Please don't jump to conclusions or say things that would cause others to feel put down, MamaB.
Posted by MamaB on October 18, 2003, at 15:20:07
In reply to Re: Boasting about Drug abuse, posted by stjames on October 18, 2003, at 12:26:56
So, it's appropriate to abuse drugs, you approve? It was not my intention to cause anyone to "feel put down" No one can cause another to "feel" anyway; feelings are your own. That post read as though there was drug abuse involved, whether there was or not. I stand by my statement.
Posted by stjames on October 18, 2003, at 15:26:55
In reply to Re: Boasting about Drug abuse St. James, posted by MamaB on October 18, 2003, at 15:20:07
> So, it's appropriate to abuse drugs, you approve?
You are infering something from my post that was not there.
It was not my intention to cause anyone to "feel put down"You did with this phrase:
You have obviously been "around the block" on illegal as well as abusing legal drugs!
Posted by stjames on October 18, 2003, at 15:30:14
In reply to Re: Boasting about Drug abuse St. James, posted by stjames on October 18, 2003, at 15:26:55
Please follow the rules of this site as set by Dr Bob:
Posted by MamaB on October 18, 2003, at 16:20:43
In reply to Re: Boasting about Drug abuse St. James, posted by stjames on October 18, 2003, at 15:30:14
I read Dr. Bob's statement prior to posting when I first came on and I just read it again. My choice of words was perhaps a bit strong -- but my intent remains. Discussing the abusive use of prescription medication does not seem to be in the tone of this site.
I have been reading post here off and on for a few years now and you seem to be the most consistant reasonable voice. Keep up the good work
Posted by NikkiT2 on October 18, 2003, at 16:40:30
In reply to Re: Boasting about Drug abuse St. James, posted by MamaB on October 18, 2003, at 15:20:07
" No one can cause another to "feel" anyway; feelings are your own. "
So, you think you can say what you want to someone and not cause them any harm or feelings?? If I were tell you that I thought you were an ugly, ignorant idiot (just first words that came into my head), you think that would be acceptable, as I couldn't possibly cause you to feel any way about it??
In my experience, everyone has feelings caused by another person.. I know I certainly do. What about sexual arousal?? Surely that can be caused by the actions of another??
Posted by MamaB on October 18, 2003, at 17:32:56
In reply to Re: Boasting about Drug abuse St. James, posted by NikkiT2 on October 18, 2003, at 16:40:30
Comparing sexual arousal, which has a physical component, with that which is purely emotional (guilt, anger, joy, sadness) is not acurate.
I am refering to the feelings over which we have control -- I CHOOSE not be angry at you for the names you called me. I chose not to be happy if I think something is not humorous. As in so much else in today's world, blaming someone else for how one feels just doesn't shoves the responsibility elsewhere
Posted by stjames on October 18, 2003, at 18:08:22
In reply to Re: Boasting about Drug abuse St. James, posted by NikkiT2 on October 18, 2003, at 16:40:30
Nikki, take a look back at the thread on babble.
MamaB did retract her "harsh" words. While we can
disagree on if we can make others feel something, it is clear what Dr. Bob rules are on this.
Posted by MamaB on October 18, 2003, at 18:22:07
In reply to Re: Boasting about Drug abuse St. James, posted by stjames on October 18, 2003, at 18:08:22
Thank you St.James. MamaB
Posted by NikkiT2 on October 18, 2003, at 21:49:18
In reply to Re: Boasting about Drug abuse St. James, posted by stjames on October 18, 2003, at 18:08:22
I wasn't objecting to her post on PB.. I was reffering to her saying that other people cannot affect our feelings. I still dispute that. Pople affcet my feelings on a daily, maybe hourly, basis.
But maybe that is because I am a weak person.
Oh, and I wasn't aiming the "ugly etc" bit at MamaB, it was just an example of what someone could say to affect my feelings.
I think I would be a very cold hard person if other people didn't affect my feelings in any way at all.. The mood of my husband affects me, the words of my friends affect me, the posts people send me affect me. I cannot believe I am the only person in the world that has feelings about the way I am treated by others.
Maybe I can CHOOSE to no longer be depressed. Maybe I can CHOOSE to no longer be suicidal. Maybe I can CHOOSE to no longer be frightened by real life people.
But if I could, don't you think I would have done this a long long time ago??
Nikki
Posted by MamaB on October 19, 2003, at 6:15:08
In reply to Re: Boasting about Drug abuse MamaB » stjames, posted by NikkiT2 on October 18, 2003, at 21:49:18
Nikki,
I was not saying anything about choice with clinical depression, no, that certainly is not a choice. However when you feel angry at your husband its "I felt angry what he said or did." Not, "He made me so angry" or "What he did made me angry." His person and or actions may arouse the FEELINGS in you; but the anger itself comes from within you (or me).
It's the way we North Americans have fallen into a bad habit in speech that turns out to be an error in psychological functioning! I occasionally still do that also, and I get paid NOT TO DO THAT SORT OF THING! (And I am not even a native born American!)
I hope that clears it up. The next time you have a strong emotion, try to stop and think about it.
Posted by Dinah on October 19, 2003, at 8:41:44
In reply to Re: Boasting about Drug abuse MamaB, posted by MamaB on October 19, 2003, at 6:15:08
This is bound to be redirected with great vigor, but I had to weigh in.
Psych types are fond of saying that. And I think maybe if they want it accepted better, they should think of a better way to say it. If someone says "You are weird, get away." or "You are no longer my daughter." they are saying something hurtful. To be hurt by it is natural. It is not a choice. You can make a choice not to be hurt by it, but only by blocking the natural inborn human response (which was bred into us for a reason). And blocking that response causes as much psychological damage as giving into it.
So how about "My husband said or did something hurtful, and I was hurt and angered by it." when that is indeed appropriate, and "My husband said or did something that he didn't mean to be hurtful and wasn't hurtful in itself, yet I find myself hurt and angered by it and need to figure out why."
It's fine to take responsibility for your feelings, but only to the extent that it is appropriate to do so.
P.S. I've never seen Dr. Bob interfere with someone discussing their illegal drug use.
Posted by NikkiT2 on October 19, 2003, at 8:57:54
In reply to Re: Boasting about Drug abuse MamaB, posted by MamaB on October 19, 2003, at 6:15:08
For a start, I'm not American.
I'm sorry, but I still don't understand.. You are saying that what ever someone says to me, I shouldn't have any feelings about it.. Does this go for good feelings, or do you only think we have control over our bad feelings??
I think I would be a very cold, awful person if I had no feelings about other people, or no feelings at how their actions affected me.
And I do think, long and hard, about how I feel from other peoples actions. But you cannot, in my opinion, feel nothing when someone is being nasty to you or what ever. Its human to feel stuff. Maybe a tortoise doesn't feel stuff when someone attacks them, but it is human nature to feel. They've even shown it in primates, that the way they are treated by the rest of their group affects they way they act and behave.
Posted by Dinah on October 19, 2003, at 9:33:18
In reply to Re: Boasting about Drug abuse MamaB » MamaB, posted by NikkiT2 on October 19, 2003, at 8:57:54
Hi Nikki. I answered your post but directed it to social. I suspect that Dr. Bob will soon choose to be annoyed at the non-administrative use of this board and send us packing. :D
Here's a link:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20031011/msgs/270780.html
Posted by Dr. Bob on October 19, 2003, at 12:11:41
In reply to Re: why Dr. Bob lets this advising go on, posted by Dr. Bob on October 17, 2003, at 19:31:34
Re: wellbutrin and strattera loolot » MamaB
Posted by loolot on October 17, 2003, at 21:09:25
In reply to http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20031015/msgs/270260.html
Its interesting because I just feel like people will take advice for what its worth, just advice from a stranger. However, it is helpful still, esp. if it is linkied to a study or a personal experience.
I feel like a smart person would never just follow advice blindly, but may follow up on a post with his or her won research.
If you have opinions you should go ahead and share them, esp if you have some experience there. I understand if it makes you uncomfortable, though, just my thoughts :-)
definitely keep us informede about the strattera. I am starting mine tomorrow.
Posted by Dr. Bob on October 19, 2003, at 14:17:11
In reply to Re: wellbutrin and strattera » MamaB « loolot, posted by Dr. Bob on October 19, 2003, at 12:11:41
> this same individual has repeatedly "bragged" about his ... drug abuse.
> is it really beneficial to have newcomers exposed to this?!
>
> MamaB> Its interesting because I just feel like people will take advice for what its worth, just advice from a stranger. However, it is helpful still, esp. if it is linkied to a study or a personal experience.
> I feel like a smart person would never just follow advice blindly, but may follow up on a post with his or her won research.
> If you have opinions you should go ahead and share them
>
> loolotThey may be exposed to it, but that doesn't mean they'll start doing it themselves. Especially if others advise them not to. And link to studies or personal experiences...
Bob
This is the end of the thread.
Psycho-Babble Administration | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.