![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 9 to 33 of 45. Go back in thread:
Posted by Ron Hill on July 2, 2003, at 5:46:07
In reply to Re: Sure Shar :) » Brio D Chimp, posted by shar on July 1, 2003, at 20:25:55
> Thank you for characterizing my ugly existence in such a real way. Especially since you MAY know I am now in the abyss, when it would hurt the most.
Shar,
May I send you my best wishes? And a ladder; no need to stay down there.
-- Ron
Posted by zenhussy on July 2, 2003, at 8:31:53
In reply to Re: Sure Shar :) » Brio D Chimp, posted by shar on July 1, 2003, at 20:25:55
Shar,
I thought you were most gracious in your response to what appeared to be a (for lack of a better term due to meds fog) low blow while you're down.
Head high honey. You've got plenty of people offering up ladders to climb out of the abyss and others offering to crawl on down in there with you for company.
I could learn a thing or two about civility from your post. To feel so blue and still post kindly shows that you've got a lot more going on in that heart of yours than I have in my poison pit inside my chest ; )
Another hug for good measure ((Shar))
zh
~~~~~~~~~~
Nice modification of what I actually wrote. If only the real world worked that way.> > I do hope BDC will be blocked for the sake and well-being of everyone here
including the incomparable BRIO !!>I think PB is a great fit for you but not for me.
>I hope the grim life you've lived will be everything you want.
I think that's sort of a nasty thing to say.
Unfortunately, the grim life I've lived is not what I wanted, nor what I would wish on
anyone else, including the incomparable Brio. I believe everyone deserves a chance,
and, imo, I've seen more chances and leniency on this board than ever existed in my
grim life. Thank you for characterizing my ugly existence in such a real way. Especially
since you MAY know I am now in the abyss, when it would hurt the most.I wish you nothing but the best, and a lot of good help!
Shar
Posted by shar on July 2, 2003, at 16:37:05
In reply to Re: Shar, may you be lifted up out of the abyss » shar, posted by Ron Hill on July 2, 2003, at 5:46:07
> no need to stay down there.
>
> -- RonRon,
Thank you for your kind thoughts. I'm not sure to make of "no need to stay down there." If I had control of it, I would not be down here. If a ladder, or med, or good thoughts made a difference, I would not be here (it sure does not feel like a choice!). So, I'll add it to my list of other conundrums.Thanks again,
Shar
Posted by shar on July 2, 2003, at 16:39:31
In reply to (((Shar))) chin up while chimp is on week break » shar, posted by zenhussy on July 2, 2003, at 8:31:53
Zen,
Thank you. Poison pit!? I never want to hear that characterization of your heart again, little lady! We've all been through a lot here, and what little heart we have left should be spoken of with delicacy and love. Including yours (and mine).Shar
Posted by zenhussy on July 2, 2003, at 17:32:29
In reply to Re: (((Shar))) chin up while chimp is on week break » zenhussy, posted by shar on July 2, 2003, at 16:39:31
> Zen,
> Thank you. Poison pit!? I never want to hear that characterization of your heart again, little lady! We've all been through a lot here, and what little heart we have left should be spoken of with delicacy and love. Including yours (and mine).
>
> SharShar,
You amaze me with the kindness you show even when you are feeling as cruddy as you are. Thank you for pointing out my CBT lesson for the day ; )
Hoping the pit is growing shallower and lighter. If not then holler and I'll send a torch and help Ron with that ladder.
zh
Posted by coral on July 3, 2003, at 3:27:01
In reply to Re: Sure Shar :) » Brio D Chimp, posted by shar on July 1, 2003, at 20:25:55
:::::::::jumps into the pit with you:::::
I've been here before.... looks all too familiar ----
::::hugs Shar::::
Look what I brought! :::opens up picnic basket:::: white candles, chocolate, lavendar, comfy banky, caffeine (in various forms), soft pillows
(((((((((Shar))))))))))))
xoxoxoxoxo
Coral
Posted by zenhussy on July 3, 2003, at 7:21:15
In reply to Re: To Shar, posted by coral on July 3, 2003, at 3:27:01
Posted by Ron Hill on July 3, 2003, at 12:09:42
In reply to Re: Shar, may you be lifted up out of the abyss » Ron Hill, posted by shar on July 2, 2003, at 16:37:05
Shar here's the link to my response now located at PSB:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030626/msgs/238957.html
-- Ron
Posted by shar on July 3, 2003, at 13:01:20
In reply to Re: To Shar, posted by coral on July 3, 2003, at 3:27:01
wow, now that is courage just to jump right in, like it was nothing!! And you brought all the right stuff!
xoxo and (((())))'s too,
Shar
Posted by Dr. Bob on July 4, 2003, at 15:17:37
In reply to Re: blocked for week » Brio D Chimp, posted by Dr. Bob on July 1, 2003, at 13:39:16
Posted by shar on July 3, 2003, at 15:43:42
In reply to SaintSimian
I am requesting that you not post to me anymore, as Brio or as any other incarnation.
--
Posted by Dinah on July 3, 2003, at 16:23:45
In reply to SaintSimian
Dinah, here. Acting as deputy for Dr. Bob.
As you noted, you're not supposed to post while blocked. So now I'm going to have to block you for an additional two weeks.
--
Posted by Dinah on July 3, 2003, at 16:57:30
I believe that there is an additional two week block for posting while blocked for one week. But as deputy, I let Dr. Bob sort out the technicalities.
--
Dinah, thanks for doing that. FYI, my current procedure is to block the new name for good and to extend the block of the old name.
I've deleted the posts under the new name. And the responses to them, except for the above. I hope everyone has a good 4th,
Bob
Posted by whiterabbit on July 4, 2003, at 23:05:04
In reply to Re: Request + Blocked for 2 weeks » SaintSimian, posted by Dr. Bob on July 4, 2003, at 15:17:37
Goodness, you can't be upset by anything said to you by this monkey person. Consider the source, sweetie, and don't give it another thought.
-Gracie
Posted by Dinah on July 5, 2003, at 0:07:05
In reply to To Shar, posted by whiterabbit on July 4, 2003, at 23:05:04
>
> Goodness, you can't be upset by anything said to you by this monkey person. Consider the source, sweetie, and don't give it another thought.
> -GracieGracie, I have seen this entire thing unfold like a train wreck I couldn't stop. I am aching from the hurt on all sides. I could see that Shar interpreted Brio's post to Dr. Bob differently than I did. Based on the context of other posts on Admin from Brio, I saw that post as a semi-humorous attempt to be blocked. I could see that Shar interpreted it differently, and from her interpretation said that it would be for the good of all the board if Brio was blocked. When I read that, I winced, because I was pretty sure that it was based on a misinterpretation of Brio's motives and I also knew I would be pretty hurt if I read that about myself. Sure enough, it would appear that Brio was hurt, and from that hurt said things that hurt Shar. And I was so sad to see Shar hurt. And so on and so on.
It's all dreadfully unfortunate, but Brio is not a "monkey person" or a bad source. Brio is just a hurting poster.
I wish there was something I could have done to derail the process along the way. And I wish there was something I could do to fix it now. It hurts me to see two posters I like both hurting.
I have this nasty desire to fix things that I just can't fix.
Posted by zenhussy on July 5, 2003, at 1:30:45
In reply to Re: To WhiteRabbit, posted by Dinah on July 5, 2003, at 0:07:05
>>I have this nasty desire to fix things that I just can't fix.
Dinah,
Sometime you just have to recognize what is beyond your control. You have a heart of gold but even with that goodness you can't champion the underdog each and every time. I understand where you are coming from as a place of kindness but sometime we just have to step back, take a deep breath and release what is beyond our control. Painful as it may be....
I've just had to let go of a friend who has been hospitalized and I'm am not aware of how they are doing post-release. It is out of my hands and I cannot control what takes place. All I can do is send my good thoughts and wishes and pray that life gives this person what they need to keep on keepin' on.
best wishes DM,
zh
Posted by zenhussy on July 5, 2003, at 7:55:02
In reply to Re: Request + Blocked for 2 weeks » SaintSimian, posted by Dr. Bob on July 4, 2003, at 15:17:37
> Dinah, thanks for doing that. FYI, my current procedure is to block the new name for good and to extend the block of the old name.
>
> I've deleted the posts under the new name. And the responses to them, except for the above. I hope everyone has a good 4th,
>
> BobDr. Bob,
Still confused as to whether or not the additional blocks are from the date of first being blocked (tacked onto July 1st) or the second infraction end run around the block by using a different name, thus being two weeks from July 3rd, the second infraction.
Please clarify.
Thanks.
Hope you had a fun, safe and sane (sheesh I sound like a public safety announcement!) 4th of July.
zenhussy
Posted by whiterabbit on July 5, 2003, at 11:39:11
In reply to Re: To WhiteRabbit, posted by Dinah on July 5, 2003, at 0:07:05
Okay, I got upset because Shar got upset, and she got upset because...The whole thing just got way out of hand, hurt feelings all around, and I had nothing to do with any of it in the first place. Third man to jump into a hockey fight is the one who gets kicked out of the game entirely while everybody else just has to go sit in the penalty box for a little while.
Skating off the locker room-
Gracie
Posted by Dinah on July 5, 2003, at 11:50:23
In reply to Third Man In Rule » Dinah, posted by whiterabbit on July 5, 2003, at 11:39:11
Nawww, I'm sorry Gracie. I shouldn't have directed the post to you, I guess. I was just frustrated at my inability to help.
You can skate on out.
Did you ever read the Cat in the Hat series book, "A Fly Went By"?
Sometimes I just want to be able to take the can off of the little lamb's foot.
Posted by Dinah on July 5, 2003, at 11:57:41
In reply to fixing what isn't yours to fix » Dinah, posted by zenhussy on July 5, 2003, at 1:30:45
My therapist is trying to wean me of the habit. And I think I held out a bit longer this time. But it's darn hard for the designated peacemaker (in my family of origin) to do.
Posted by shar on July 5, 2003, at 12:45:50
In reply to Re: To WhiteRabbit, posted by Dinah on July 5, 2003, at 0:07:05
Dinah,
you apparently know Brio. You have information I don't have. You may or may not be in communication with Brio or whomever Brio is. I have a feeling Brio was a poster with a different name at one time.Not being "in" on what was really going on, I have to make decisions based on what I see. I didn't see any humor. I saw--on this board and others--a lot of little slams to a lot of people who were in varying degrees of pain.
In my opinion, Brio was un-pollyannaesque to a significant degree. Brio was hurting others. Brio may have been in pain, but that was not what Brio was talking about--if he or she had talked about that, he or she might have gotten support (what a concept!).
Instead, the best way I can figure it, Brio was acting out his or her pain, and when it comes to people acting out on me (the 'sure shar'post) I have no sympathy for them. Especially when I've seen the previous acting out and hurtful things, and especially when someone sees fit to take things in my private life (granted, mentioned on the board) and ridicule them AND point fingers at me about how I'm handling my life. Sorry, out of sympathy at that point, plus never had anything to be sympathetic about at all since Brio never saw fit to share what was going on with him or her. And, I was not privy to whatever additional information you happen to have.
>When I read that, I winced, because I was pretty sure that it was based on a misinterpretation of Brio's motives.
I will point out here that I could not really have misinterpreted Brio's motives since I did not know what he or she was going through, who he or she is or was, why he or she was doing that, nor did I have any information to lead me to believe they were anything other than what was written. It is not possible, in general, to read somebody's mind and discern their motives based on a post or posts.
Perhaps that will explain to you how I happened to "misinterpret" Brio's actions.
I'm about done with the Babbles. It's been a great support, and given me opportunities to support other wonderful people, but this is riduculous.
Shar
>
> I have seen this entire thing unfold like a train wreck I couldn't stop. I am aching from the hurt on all sides. I could see that Shar interpreted Brio's post to Dr. Bob differently than I did. Based on the context of other posts on Admin from Brio, I saw that post as a semi-humorous attempt to be blocked. I could see that Shar interpreted it differently, and from her interpretation said that it would be for the good of all the board if Brio was blocked. and I also knew I would be pretty hurt if I read that about myself. Sure enough, it would appear that Brio was hurt, and from that hurt said things that hurt Shar. And I was so sad to see Shar hurt. And so on and so on.
>
> It's all dreadfully unfortunate, but Brio is not a "monkey person" or a bad source. Brio is just a hurting poster.
>
> I wish there was something I could have done to derail the process along the way. And I wish there was something I could do to fix it now. It hurts me to see two posters I like both hurting.
>
> I have this nasty desire to fix things that I just can't fix.
>
>
Posted by Dinah on July 5, 2003, at 12:58:57
In reply to misinterpretations » Dinah, posted by shar on July 5, 2003, at 12:45:50
I knew I shouldn't have posted, and should have kept my nose out of it. My attempts at peacemaking are rarely successful.
Brio was open on the board about being a new name for an old poster. Nothing I wrote about in my post came from off board communication, although the fact that I did know who Brio was might have helped me in the interpretation. This is one reason I really don't like name changes. :( I can usually figure them out, but I think it helps this sort of misunderstanding to develop because one poster is posting with the benefit of familiarity, while the other is not.
My recognition of Brio's motives came from the Upset and Frightened and Leaving Forever post, not from anywhere else. Brio announced the intention of writing an uncivil post to Bob to get blocked because of being upset and frightened.
I hope I haven't added to your distress, too. I know I've added to Brio's. The road to hell and all of that.....
Posted by Dr. Bob on July 5, 2003, at 14:15:07
In reply to misinterpretations » Dinah, posted by shar on July 5, 2003, at 12:45:50
> I didn't see any humor. I saw--on this board and others--a lot of little slams to a lot of people who were in varying degrees of pain.
>
> Brio was hurting others.Keeping in mind that the idea here is not to post anything that could lead others to feel accused or put down, could you please rephrase the above?
> the best way I can figure it, Brio was acting out his or her pain, and when it comes to people acting out on me ... I have no sympathy for them.
I can understand not having any sympathy for some people. But maybe it would be better just not to post to or about them?
> I'm about done with the Babbles.
You have to decide what's best for you, but I hope you stay. Or at least return soon!
Bob
Posted by zenhussy on July 5, 2003, at 15:00:10
In reply to Re: fixing what isn't yours to fix » zenhussy, posted by Dinah on July 5, 2003, at 11:57:41
> My therapist is trying to wean me of the habit. And I think I held out a bit longer this time. But it's darn hard for the designated peacemaker (in my family of origin) to do.
And might I add you have shown a great learning curve of this habit over the time you've been posting to these boards. Kudos to you for working on that. I wish you well on your self imposed vacation whilst therapist is away.
Do take care DM. You show courage in spades.
zh
Posted by shar on July 5, 2003, at 15:36:05
In reply to Re: please rephrase that » shar, posted by Dr. Bob on July 5, 2003, at 14:15:07
I'M NOT SHOUTING, JUST DIFFERENTIATING MY RESPONSE FROM THE ONES BEFORE.
BOB, I APPRECIATE THE PLEASE REPHRASE VS. THE PLEASE BE CIVIL, BECAUSE I'VE ALWAYS TRIED TO BE CIVIL.
> > I didn't see any humor. I saw--on this board and others--a lot of UNPOLLYANNISH BEHAVIOR AND UNGOOD WORDS to a lot of people who were in varying degrees of pain.
> >
> > Brio was XXXXXXXXING others.
>
> Keeping in mind that the idea here is not to post anything that could lead others to feel accused or put down, could you please rephrase the above?
>
> > the best way I can figure it, Brio was acting out his or her pain, and when it comes to people acting out on me ... I have no sympathy for them.
>
> I can understand not having any sympathy for some people. But maybe it would be better just not to post to or about them?YOU COULD BE RIGHT, DR. BOB, BUT UNDER DIRECT ATTACK, THE PLEASE REPHRASE SHOULD BE AIMED AT THE OTHER PERSON. IMHO, OF COURSE.
>
> > I'm about done with the Babbles.
>
> You have to decide what's best for you, but I hope you stay. Or at least return soon!WELL, IT'S PROBABLY BEEN TOO LONG FOR ME HERE ANYWAY. I'M VERY ATTACHED TO MANY HERE, AND YOUR RESPONSE HAS ONLY MADE VERY CLEAR I DON'T BELONG HERE ANYMORE. SHOULD ANYONE LIKE TO CONTACT ME, I CAN BE REACHED AT SHAR_FROM_BABBLE AT YAHOO. AND PLEASE PUT A RECOGNIZABLE NAME (LIKE, NOT A "NEW" ONE) IN THE SUBJECT LINE, OR I WON'T READ IT.
Y'ALL TAKE CARE.
SHAR
>
> Bob
Posted by zenhussy on July 5, 2003, at 15:45:49
In reply to Re: please rephrase that, posted by shar on July 5, 2003, at 15:36:05
> I'M NOT SHOUTING, JUST DIFFERENTIATING MY RESPONSE FROM THE ONES BEFORE.
>
> BOB, I APPRECIATE THE PLEASE REPHRASE VS. THE PLEASE BE CIVIL, BECAUSE I'VE ALWAYS TRIED TO BE CIVIL.
>
> > > I didn't see any humor. I saw--on this board and others--a lot of UNPOLLYANNISH BEHAVIOR AND UNGOOD WORDS to a lot of people who were in varying degrees of pain.
> > >
> > > Brio was XXXXXXXXING others.
> >
> > Keeping in mind that the idea here is not to post anything that could lead others to feel accused or put down, could you please rephrase the above?
> >
> > > the best way I can figure it, Brio was acting out his or her pain, and when it comes to people acting out on me ... I have no sympathy for them.
> >
> > I can understand not having any sympathy for some people. But maybe it would be better just not to post to or about them?
>
> YOU COULD BE RIGHT, DR. BOB, BUT UNDER DIRECT ATTACK, THE PLEASE REPHRASE SHOULD BE AIMED AT THE OTHER PERSON. IMHO, OF COURSE.
> >
> > > I'm about done with the Babbles.
> >
> > You have to decide what's best for you, but I hope you stay. Or at least return soon!
>
> WELL, IT'S PROBABLY BEEN TOO LONG FOR ME HERE ANYWAY. I'M VERY ATTACHED TO MANY HERE, AND YOUR RESPONSE HAS ONLY MADE VERY CLEAR I DON'T BELONG HERE ANYMORE. SHOULD ANYONE LIKE TO CONTACT ME, I CAN BE REACHED AT SHAR_FROM_BABBLE AT YAHOO. AND PLEASE PUT A RECOGNIZABLE NAME (LIKE, NOT A "NEW" ONE) IN THE SUBJECT LINE, OR I WON'T READ IT.
>
> Y'ALL TAKE CARE.
>
> SHAR
> >
> > Bob
Shar,You know how I feel about the administration of these boards and feel like banging my head against a wall sometimes at the way things go down.
If a breather is needed then please care for yourself the best that you can while away.
I'm still having a difficult time accessing e-mail up here but will contact you next week when I return to the lower 48.
Wishing you some rest from this frustration. Take care and don't be a stranger (or at least any stranger than Phil---humour there for you goofy Texans from a crazy Californian!).
Reach out in other ways if this board isn't working now. You do need the support and you will get it. There are other ways and sadly sometimes this board isn't one of them. Kinda sucks after all these years don't it?!
zh
Posted by whiterabbit on July 5, 2003, at 15:47:56
In reply to Re: fixing what isn't yours to fix » Dinah, posted by zenhussy on July 5, 2003, at 15:00:10
Shar PLEASE don't disappear forever. By all means take a break, everyone needs a sabbatical now and then, but don't leave for good, pleeeeease?
God I HATE it when wonderful people drop off the board because of this sort of crap, it's so unnecessary. It actually leaves a hole in my life, it really does, and I don't even care if that sounds pathetic because I must have no "real" friends or whatever...
The truth is that I did intentionally chase off a lot of my friends so they would just leave me the hell alone. The 3-D friends I have left, I don't talk to them about emotional pain and mental disorders and psych medication because I'm afraid they won't understand...rewind...I KNOW they won't understand and I don't want them to back away from me, I don't want to lose EVERYone. I'm not dishonest about it, I just set aside that part of me when I'm with them.
This site is my only outlet to connect with people who do understand that part of me and you do get attached to other posters, you do, even if you would walk right by them on the street. (Or would you? Does one spirit recognize another?)
Shar if you really feel that you have to leave Babble for the sake of your sanity, please send me an e-mail at home, I thought I might even come visit you for a spell the next time I make it to Dallas. The thought of just having no way at all to reach you ever again is a very lonely thought
and not for just me.Man this sucks. I'm off to the store, going to buy some Carolinas and club soda in honor of the fabulous beardedlady, wherever she may be.
-Gracie
Posted by Dr. Bob on July 7, 2003, at 8:32:48
In reply to Re: please rephrase that, posted by shar on July 5, 2003, at 15:36:05
> BOB, I APPRECIATE THE PLEASE REPHRASE VS. THE PLEASE BE CIVIL, BECAUSE I'VE ALWAYS TRIED TO BE CIVIL.
You're welcome, and I've appreciated those efforts.
> > I can understand not having any sympathy for some people. But maybe it would be better just not to post to or about them?
>
> YOU COULD BE RIGHT, DR. BOB, BUT UNDER DIRECT ATTACK, THE PLEASE REPHRASE SHOULD BE AIMED AT THE OTHER PERSON. IMHO, OF COURSE.The other person's already been blocked (twice), haven't they?
> > > I didn't see any humor. I saw--on this board and others--a lot of UNPOLLYANNISH BEHAVIOR AND UNGOOD WORDS to a lot of people who were in varying degrees of pain.
I'm really sorry, but I'm afraid "ungood words" could still lead someone to feel accused or put down, so I think I need to block you from posting for a week. Best wishes, and I do hope we see you again soon,
Bob
Go forward in thread:
Psycho-Babble Administration | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.