![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 21 of 21. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by wendy b. on September 12, 2002, at 0:10:20
Dear Bob, and others,
I object to the (at times) stereotypical and sexist thread on PSB, see the following link where I register customer dissatisfaction:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20020908/msgs/30167.html
I find many of the comments within the thread to be offensive.
I would appreciate discussion on why hot-tub flirting is ok on our board. Yes, the Board belongs to me, too. The thread is neither supportive, nor educational, and it makes me uncomfortable. I don't think soft porn (or whatever term we want to use to designate this kind of discussion) is immoral, I read it and enjoy it. ('Why, some of my favorite books are soft porn...')
But is it really necessary on a board for mutual support & education? I truly do not understand.
Wendy
Posted by Tabitha Ðòñë ƒ£îþþëÐ on September 12, 2002, at 1:57:51
I'm just playing Redirector and sending this from Social to Admin, since it seems likely to start a discussion of what's OK to post.
-Tabitha>
> > Oooh! I hope I get to sit between Tabby & Dinah and play footsie with Gabby. ;-) And ladies, don't feel like you have to keep your hands to yourselves. I won't. ;-)
> >
> > Ted
>
>
>
> I object to this whole discussion, partly because it's exclusionary to people who may not be in perpetual flirt mode. I know, the ruse is that 'we're just having fun.' So set up a meeting place elsewhere. I can understand talking to someone about how to get over social phobia, how to try to get a date, what to do to improve oneself, but this I can't understand.
>
> I also object because this type of conversation is sexist and demeaning to women and >especially< to men. Aren't you all embarassed by this kind of stereotypical behavior? I'm no prude, just ashamed to be a contributing member of this board a lot of the time lately... (I guess that's MY probelm, though.)
>
>
> Wendy
Posted by Gabbix2 on September 12, 2002, at 4:12:56
In reply to Re: PBSP (PB Soft Porn), how un-civilized » wendy b., posted by Tabitha Ðòñë ƒ£îþþëÐ on September 12, 2002, at 1:57:51
The hot-tub thread was most definately not my taste. However, I didn't have to join in, and I chose not too, I would be far more offended by a P.B.C.
As a grown woman who can speak for herself I don't feel I need someone to protect me from the topic of bathing suits and slightly sexual innuendo's. I think having the choice to not participate is what is integral.
To have that choice taken from me by banning the subject would be more degrading I.M.O.The people involved here are some of the most caring, sensitive people I could ever hope to meet. If A little flirtation helps lighten the load thank goodness, its well deserved, and when there's a topic I can relate too I'll be happy to join in.
Posted by wendy b. on September 12, 2002, at 7:20:37
In reply to Re: PBSP (PB Soft Porn), how un-civilized » wendy b., posted by Tabitha Ðòñë ƒ£îþþëÐ on September 12, 2002, at 1:57:51
> I'm just playing Redirector and sending this from Social to Admin, since it seems likely to start a discussion of what's OK to post.
> -TabithaSee above, I already did redirect by starting the thread above. Sorry if that was the incorrect way to do it.
Wendy
Posted by NikkiT2 on September 12, 2002, at 7:38:50
In reply to Re: PBSP (PB Soft Porn), how un-civilized, posted by wendy b. on September 12, 2002, at 7:20:37
I think its pretty harmless fun... if you don't like it.. don't read it is my point of view.. it made me laugh which isn't easy these days, so I see it as good!
I've met many friends on line, and many of thsoe I flirted with... Flirting is fun and can make an individual feel better about themselves.
Just my opinion
Nikki
Posted by wendy b. on September 12, 2002, at 7:40:41
In reply to Re: PBSP (PB Soft Porn), how un-civilized, posted by Gabbix2 on September 12, 2002, at 4:12:56
> The hot-tub thread was most definately not my taste. However, I didn't have to join in, and I chose not too, I would be far more offended by a P.B.C.
I'm not criticizing anyone, you know, simply voicing an opinion on the topic and its relevancy to the board.
> As a grown woman who can speak for herself I don't feel I need someone to protect me from the topic of bathing suits and slightly sexual innuendo's.See above, not trying to protect grown women from anything... Everybody should have choices, that's what the rest of the internet, TV, radio, etc. are for. Bob has certainly limited what can be discussed on the board prior to now...
>I think having the choice to not participate is what is integral.Of course, life is better when one has choices. But again, we ARE limited here about what we can talk about, and how... So why shouldn't I simply say, this is offensive material TO ME? We all have a limit, and here's mine. My point is: why does this topic just appear 'naturally ok', and then others raise red flags where no one would have thought they might? Just because these things are said in bars across America a thousand times a day, doesn't mean they're ok for here. I don't mean to ban any such discussion, I just object to them on this forum.
> To have that choice taken from me by banning the subject would be more degrading I.M.O.See above, Bob makes choices about what's appropriate and what's not every day.
> The people involved here are some of the most caring, sensitive people I could ever hope to meet. If A little flirtation helps lighten the load thank goodness, its well deserved, and when there's a topic I can relate too I'll be happy to join in.
Again, this is not an 'ad hominem' or 'ad feminem' attack on anyone. Nowhere have I said that the people here are uncaring or insensitive - that's not what I said, and not what was meant. Please don't misinterpret and take anything personally. It's just that what passes for "OK" on the board is sometimes a puzzle for me --
Wendy
Posted by Dr. Bob on September 12, 2002, at 8:25:15
In reply to Could we discuss the hot-tub thread?, posted by wendy b. on September 12, 2002, at 0:10:20
[In reply to http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20020908/msgs/30106.html]
> IMHO.I thought Robin was exquisitely civil, there are several AOL "Hot tub" chat rooms that are more appropriate for those inclined
Posted by Dr. Bob on September 12, 2002, at 8:29:50
In reply to Could we discuss the hot-tub thread?, posted by wendy b. on September 12, 2002, at 0:10:20
[Posted by Medusa on September 11, 2002, at 0:14:16
In reply to http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20020908/msgs/30105.html]
> > emotional respect for ones misfortunes of a
>
> Oh jeez Robin (are you a boy or a girl?), Jay's post was akin to Tabitha's "shameless plea for attention" above. He did NOT incringe on someone else's thread, saying , well, you can imagine how someone could sexualise a depression thread and minimise other's concerns.
>
> When you're pointing a finger at someone, three are pointing back at yourself.
>
> It's hard to come on to this board and see the flirt arrangements all set up and to be a bit excluded from it all. I don't know how long Jay has been around - I'm pretty recent - but maybe he's just trying to get in on some of Ted's action.
>
> M
Posted by Dr. Bob on September 12, 2002, at 9:08:41
In reply to Re: don't take it the wrong way » Gabbix2, posted by wendy b. on September 12, 2002, at 7:40:41
> I object to the (at times) stereotypical and sexist thread on PSB, see the following link where I register customer dissatisfaction:
>
> [ http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20020725/msgs/7366.html ]
>
> I find many of the comments within the thread to be offensive.
>
> I would appreciate discussion on why hot-tub flirting is ok on our board. Yes, the Board belongs to me, too. The thread is neither supportive, nor educational, and it makes me uncomfortable...I think flirting can in fact be supportive in some ways, so I think I'd like to let it go. Offensive comments, however, are uncivil and will be dealt with.
> My point is: why does this topic just appear 'naturally ok', and then others raise red flags where no one would have thought they might? Just because these things are said in bars across America a thousand times a day, doesn't mean they're ok for here.
I'm not saying it's naturally OK here, I think it does raise questions. But I think that after considering those questions, it's more OK than not...
Bob
Posted by mist on September 12, 2002, at 9:46:41
In reply to Could we discuss the hot-tub thread?, posted by wendy b. on September 12, 2002, at 0:10:20
Flirting is social. I don't see anything objectionable about it.
Posted by BeardedLady on September 12, 2002, at 9:53:58
In reply to PSB is for 'just being social' too. , posted by mist on September 12, 2002, at 9:46:41
I don't see anything wrong with it either. What's wrong is that almost every intellectual topic of conversation seems to be off limits, so the board is full of howyadoin's and flirts, instead of what most people (at least the ones I know) do when they are being social—talk politics, discuss movies, gripe about their spouses and their jobs, and make puns. People seem too afraid to post anything that resembles an opinion or a unique thought.
beardy
Posted by Dr. Bob on September 12, 2002, at 10:49:48
In reply to Re: What will be targeted next? Dark poetry? « BL, posted by Dr. Bob on September 12, 2002, at 10:48:32
[Posted by ~Alii~ on September 11, 2002, at 17:36:17]
Posted by Dr. Bob on September 12, 2002, at 10:50:47
In reply to check your mail Oh Great Bearded One (nm) « ~Alii~, posted by Dr. Bob on September 12, 2002, at 10:49:48
[Posted by BeardedLady on September 11, 2002, at 18:11:23]
Posted by Dinah on September 12, 2002, at 11:23:12
In reply to social. yup., posted by BeardedLady on September 12, 2002, at 9:53:58
> I don't see anything wrong with it either. What's wrong is that almost every intellectual topic of conversation seems to be off limits, so the board is full of howyadoin's and flirts, instead of what most people (at least the ones I know) do when they are being social—talk politics, discuss movies, gripe about their spouses and their jobs, and make puns. People seem too afraid to post anything that resembles an opinion or a unique thought.
>
> beardyHmm. I believe there has been some political talk, perhaps on the meds board but Dr. Bob has tried to move it to social. I'm pretty sure I've heard griping about spouses and jobs recently as well, including by me. Puns... hmm. Don't recall seeing any. Why don't you start a thread? Can other types of humor substitute? I'd be happy to discuss movies, but unless you've got an interest in the Hey Arnold movie or Spy Kids 2, I'm not a lot of help. But again, you could start a thread.
My point is that none of those things are at all frowned on by Dr. Bob, nor would any fall afoul of the civility guidelines. So I don't quite understand the problem. If none of the threads interest you, you can start one that does.
I've never had a problem expressing opinions either. I do keep my opinions to myself if expressing them would be rude to another poster. And I've been told that many of my thoughts are unique (odd even). And I've never been censored for expressing them. Perhaps you are using "unique" and "opinions" in a different way than I am understanding, because I've never seen Dr. Bob have a problem with those things in general. In fact, he supports the right of posters to express unique thoughts and opinions all the time.
???
Posted by Dinah on September 12, 2002, at 11:23:54
In reply to Re: social. yup., posted by Dinah on September 12, 2002, at 11:23:12
Posted by ~Alii~ on September 12, 2002, at 11:42:38
In reply to you are quite unbelieveable. » Dr. Bob « BL, posted by Dr. Bob on September 12, 2002, at 10:44:15
...belong up under the Mistah Kurtz post above.........they are not in response to the hot tub thread and I am a bit miffed they are under this heading at all.
These are the threads I consider in the wrong thread here on admin. Would you please reconsider placing them up with their post of origin above: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20020725/msgs/7354.html
posts out of place:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20020725/msgs/7386.htmlhttp://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20020725/msgs/7387.html
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20020725/msgs/7388.html
Thanks.
--Alii
Posted by Gabbix2 on September 13, 2002, at 0:00:12
In reply to Re: don't take it the wrong way » Gabbix2, posted by wendy b. on September 12, 2002, at 7:40:41
Hi Wendy
I took it the wrong way...
What you'd mentioned in your second post, about the 'natural' okayness of some subjects, while others are blocked is something I didn't pick up on. To that I can only say, I couldn't agree more. It's a mystery to me too,
I'm sorry I missed your point, and glad it was clarified.Gabbi Goofed
Posted by Dr. Bob on September 13, 2002, at 20:20:56
In reply to Dr. Bob these threads...beardy's and others......, posted by ~Alii~ on September 12, 2002, at 11:42:38
Posted by ~Alii~ on September 14, 2002, at 1:31:01
In reply to Re: sorry! rereposted (nm), posted by Dr. Bob on September 13, 2002, at 20:20:56
The two following messages were just 'nm' that are merely taking up space on your server so do they even need to stay?
I'm not insisting they be removed but am only inquiring in the interest of spacial constraints and archival matters.
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20020725/msgs/7389.html
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20020725/msgs/7390.htmlThank you again for quick housekeeping on moving those other posts.........Much appreciated.
--Alii
Posted by Dr. Bob on September 14, 2002, at 16:54:03
In reply to rereposted--thanks now one more small favour.... » Dr. Bob, posted by ~Alii~ on September 14, 2002, at 1:31:01
> The two following messages were just 'nm' that are merely taking up space on your server so do they even need to stay?
Maybe not, but I don't like to delete posts, so let's just leave them. Besides, I've come up with ways to save space. :-)
Bob
Posted by ~Alii~ on September 14, 2002, at 20:45:22
In reply to Re: one more small favour.., posted by Dr. Bob on September 14, 2002, at 16:54:03
This is the end of the thread.
Psycho-Babble Administration | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.