Shown: posts 1 to 18 of 18. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by bleauberry on August 14, 2011, at 12:47:04
Actually a stage not steroids. Just doing what I do best even when I'm in the darkest of moods.
Recent live videos of me and my band, crowd about 500, visual effects added. Excellent sound quality especially if you have headphones or earbuds.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=22nQyKVGtok
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bAlTtoydj2U
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FvVu-SvdlTQ
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QSzGotcBT8Y
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nC52HajU1WAAnd in case you haven't seen the best of the earlier videos from last year, they are here....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h4CEL3gQ9vU
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4tHZzSpgtlg
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hbjPWpK2Qw0I hope you will watch these because they can bring some flavor to an otherwise flavorless day. If one of them can spark just a little bit of opioids, endorphins, dopamine, or norepinephrine, then that is good! I think they can do that.
I try to make extra money on the side doing this as well, but bookings are so hard. The more views I have on youtube the easier it is to be taken seriously by a potential employer. So even if all you do is click on each video then go to another and keep clicking, well, it helps out a fellow psych patient. But really, please at least listen because I know for sure a couple of these songs will touch you in some significant way. You will notice the songs are all about emotional journeys, both melodic and blazing, and the stories are told without words.
I wish our meds could consistently do that, but sometimes when they can't, live music can. Even better when it is someone you know.
To be fair, I had taken a vicadin the previous day because I was in such a bad place. It is my emergency med. For some strange reason it works better the next day after it is worn off! And you can see that in these videos. Other than that I was also taking advil, lemon balm, japanese knotweed, coffee, nicotine, and india spice tea.
Posted by Phillipa on August 14, 2011, at 13:06:01
In reply to Bleauberry on steroids.....sort of., posted by bleauberry on August 14, 2011, at 12:47:04
motrin at 600mg 24 hours later makes me feel better. Phillipa
Posted by bleauberry on August 14, 2011, at 14:35:42
In reply to Re: Bleauberry on steroids.....sort of. » bleauberry, posted by Phillipa on August 14, 2011, at 13:06:01
> motrin at 600mg 24 hours later makes me feel better. Phillipa
Yeah but did you watch any videos????
Posted by Lamdage on August 14, 2011, at 15:48:00
In reply to Re: Bleauberry on steroids.....sort of., posted by bleauberry on August 14, 2011, at 14:35:42
> > motrin at 600mg 24 hours later makes me feel better. Phillipa
>
> Yeah but did you watch any videos????Haha i did!
U f*ckin serious? This is cool.. What instrument are you playing?
Posted by floatingbridge on August 14, 2011, at 16:12:24
In reply to Bleauberry on steroids.....sort of., posted by bleauberry on August 14, 2011, at 12:47:04
BB, wow. You're good. Do you practice/play every day, even on dark days?
I also enjoy the keyboardist. She looks like she is enjoying herself.....
Thanks for sharing these.
:-)
Posted by sigismund on August 14, 2011, at 18:21:07
In reply to Re: Bleauberry on steroids.....sort of., posted by bleauberry on August 14, 2011, at 14:35:42
>Yeah but did you watch any videos????
Yes I did. That's you, hey? Well I never.
Goodness me, I don't understand Americans.
We do not have a libertarian tradition here, although I do find it attractive in some of its manifestations.
Posted by Phillipa on August 14, 2011, at 20:00:43
In reply to Re: Bleauberry on steroids.....sort of., posted by bleauberry on August 14, 2011, at 14:35:42
BB had to get the cat at hospital will watch them. Love Phillipa
Posted by Phillipa on August 14, 2011, at 20:48:32
In reply to Bleauberry on steroids.....sort of., posted by bleauberry on August 14, 2011, at 12:47:04
Does your significant other also play in the band? Phillipa
Posted by bleauberry on August 15, 2011, at 17:33:00
In reply to Re: Bleauberry on steroids.....sort of., posted by Lamdage on August 14, 2011, at 15:48:00
> > > motrin at 600mg 24 hours later makes me feel better. Phillipa
> >
> > Yeah but did you watch any videos????
>
> Haha i did!
>
> U f*ckin serious? This is cool.. What instrument are you playing?I'm on guitar. If you thought it was cool, I'm happy! Thanks for that my friend.
It's weird, I am perfectly fine as long as I am on stage playing. Depression and all the other crap are almost always there to some degree while not playing. So as hard as it is to crawl up on stage, it has been the best depression medicine of them all. Too bad it doesn't last. No side effects though except maybe a little ringing in the ears. :-)
And yeah, serious! To be fair, just to keep it in perspective, I started playing when I was 10 and throughout my life at various stages I have made my living at it either full time or part time. I never actually got real good until depression hit, go figure. I've always played in cover bands, you know, all the same songs all the bands play in clubs. Now is different. I play all my own stuff, which is what's on those videos.
Thanks again!
Posted by bleauberry on August 15, 2011, at 17:52:25
In reply to Re: Bleauberry on steroids.....sort of. » bleauberry, posted by floatingbridge on August 14, 2011, at 16:12:24
> BB, wow. You're good.
Well thanks!
>Do you practice/play every day, even on dark days?
Probably 5 times a week, anywhere from an hour to 8 hours each time. Dark days, it is very hard to get started. Even after an hour or two it is just kind of a distraction from pain. But if I stay with, I eventually feel the spirit taking over and then it's a whole new ballgame.
Moon Candles. Here's the story behind that one. I had just tried 2 days of tramadol...usually a great antidepressant for many people. Somehow it plunged me into the deepest darkest place. It was bad. Real bad. I was almost suicidal. I forced myself to grab the guitar and just play. Distraction I guess. Instead of the usual distortion rock sound, I played clean, and lots of echo. I hit record on the recording machine, put my fingers to the neck of the guitar, and just started playing whatever was deep in me. I had never played that stuff before, no composition, no rehearsal, nothing....it just came out. That was Moon Candles. At the darkest places of the human mind. I pictured myself sitting on the moon in the dark next to some craters, gazing at the earth far away in the emptiness, with the only sign of life around me being a few candles flickering next to me.
I was also extremely depressed on the day we did Wishing For Love. The keyboardist kept pushing me to keep going. It wasn't until later I realized I played that song a lot better depressed than I did when not depressed. I think that's what people like about my stuff.....there is a great deal of human emotion in it
>
> I also enjoy the keyboardist. She looks like she is enjoying herself.....She and I are quite different but yeah she is fun. She spent a week in a psych ward about 6 months ago but is now doing great on Rhodiola Rosea.
>
> Thanks for sharing these.
>
> :-)No, thank you for watching!
Posted by bleauberry on August 15, 2011, at 17:54:01
In reply to Re: Bleauberry on steroids.....sort of., posted by sigismund on August 14, 2011, at 18:21:07
> >Yeah but did you watch any videos????
>
> Yes I did. That's you, hey? Well I never.I hope that's a good thing?
>
> Goodness me, I don't understand Americans.You know what? Neither do I. !!! :-)
Posted by Phillipa on August 15, 2011, at 21:55:35
In reply to Re: Bleauberry on steroids.....sort of. » sigismund, posted by bleauberry on August 15, 2011, at 17:54:01
BB still have the other job also? Phillipa
Posted by floatingbridge on August 16, 2011, at 0:06:08
In reply to Re: Bleauberry on steroids.....sort of. » floatingbridge, posted by bleauberry on August 15, 2011, at 17:52:25
Tramadol was a magic pill for me :-)
Maybe that's why I resonated with that tune. But I am sorry to hear it came from a dark place for you that day.
And may I be shallow enough to say the keyboardist looks pretty fabulous considering she was in a patch unit a half year back? I guess these things really don't show as much as we sometimes feel they do.
Posted by floatingbridge on August 16, 2011, at 0:08:00
In reply to Re: Bleauberry on steroids.....sort of. » floatingbridge, posted by bleauberry on August 15, 2011, at 17:52:25
Tramadol was a magic pill for me.
Maybe that's why I resonated with that tune. But I am sorry to hear it came from a dark place for you that day.
And may I be shallow enough to say the keyboardist looks pretty fabulous considering she was in a psych unit a half year back? I guess these things really don't show as much as we sometimes feel they do.
Posted by sigismund on August 16, 2011, at 1:06:49
In reply to Re: Bleauberry on steroids.....sort of. » sigismund, posted by bleauberry on August 15, 2011, at 17:54:01
It is a good thing....but it is strange to me.
I didn't imagine you looking like that.
You play so well.
Posted by hyperfocus on August 16, 2011, at 2:09:27
In reply to Bleauberry on steroids.....sort of., posted by bleauberry on August 14, 2011, at 12:47:04
You're pretty good bleauberry. You sorta remind me of Tony Iommi. Music is so wonderful and theraputic. I'm glad for you that can just jump on a guitar and fly to another planet.
Posted by B2chica on August 17, 2011, at 8:59:24
In reply to Bleauberry on steroids.....sort of., posted by bleauberry on August 14, 2011, at 12:47:04
your music is beautiful.
i especially liked moon candles and wishing for love.
the song mood candles and especially your story reminds me of the book "the little prince".
i have added them to my favorites and will access them often to give you views...
you have a gift.thank you for sharing...with everyone.
b2c.
Posted by B2chica on August 17, 2011, at 9:02:36
In reply to Re: Bleauberry on steroids.....sort of., posted by B2chica on August 17, 2011, at 8:59:24
i dont think it linked the correct book...
i'll try it again.
"the little prince"
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