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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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Posted by sleepygirl2 on July 5, 2011, at 19:33:03
In reply to no good news, posted by floatingbridge on July 5, 2011, at 19:18:49
It's alright fb. Just take good care of yourself.
I hope you feel better soon.
Warmly,
the sleepster
Posted by zonked on July 5, 2011, at 19:54:21
In reply to no good news, posted by floatingbridge on July 5, 2011, at 19:18:49
I am sorry to hear this.. If and when you feel like it, you know how to reach me. The hospital may not be a terrible idea, I just hope your insurance is good enough that you can go to a private facility (non county) if possible. Also, you know how I feel about the use of antipsychotics in non psychotic disorders... (just my opinion guys, I know the subject is controversial.) Remember that you have the option to refuse any medication under California law. Keep fighting, I know you'll make it. Wishing you the best always, -z
Posted by Phillipa on July 5, 2011, at 20:01:19
In reply to Re: no good news » floatingbridge, posted by zonked on July 5, 2011, at 19:54:21
Ditto to what zonked posted what the heck happened. The day didn't go as planned. I'm so sorry. Love Phillipa
Posted by christ_empowered on July 5, 2011, at 20:06:54
In reply to Re: no good news, posted by Phillipa on July 5, 2011, at 20:01:19
I'm so sorry. I've never enjoyed being hospitalized. But..at least they'll work on meds. At least you can refuse some medications if they don't help you or you don't want them.
I'm so terribly sorry. stay in touch.
Posted by floatingbridge on July 5, 2011, at 20:30:44
In reply to no good news, posted by floatingbridge on July 5, 2011, at 19:18:49
Thank you. I need to know I can refuse any medication. I am going to remember that.
Posted by poser938 on July 5, 2011, at 23:52:51
In reply to no good news, posted by floatingbridge on July 5, 2011, at 19:18:49
im sorry
Posted by morgan miller on July 6, 2011, at 0:49:33
In reply to no good news, posted by floatingbridge on July 5, 2011, at 19:18:49
Sorry FB, hope you find a way to get some relief soon. Hang in there.
Morgan
Posted by jedi on July 6, 2011, at 2:06:34
In reply to no good news, posted by floatingbridge on July 5, 2011, at 19:18:49
Good Luck fb. Things will get better.
Jedi
Posted by floatingbridge on July 6, 2011, at 2:16:06
In reply to no good news, posted by floatingbridge on July 5, 2011, at 19:18:49
So besides avoiding lock down, another good piece of advice is to avoid massive panic at an anxiety clinic. That's all I have to contribute today.
I am home.
The ER gave me a list of shrinks.
My husband will help cold call tomorrow.
Posted by sigismund on July 6, 2011, at 2:16:13
In reply to Re: no good news, posted by floatingbridge on July 5, 2011, at 20:30:44
Of course you should be able to refuse medication.
But with dependence issues, you might be needing it, apart from anything else you might have going on.
Speaking with you has been a delight for me, and I'm sure for others.
So I wish you the best.
Posted by floatingbridge on July 6, 2011, at 2:49:37
In reply to Re: no good news » floatingbridge, posted by sigismund on July 6, 2011, at 2:16:13
sigi, I realized something. I have every issue that everyone else has, like meaness and envy. But I really only want the world to be good and safe. I would never kill ten thousand people. That goodness is in my heart. That's all I ever really wanted.
People tell me I have to deal with my sh*t. I was patient number one at this clinic. Really. The doc says to me, so why do you think you have ptsd? I said because things happened. Not too big, but not small enough. Then my husband says, well, tell him about the blah blah
blah. And I said that's really enough. I mean I only Just met this clinic guy.There has to be a way to go forward without having to go back. I think this attitude of you have to look at your sh*t is unthinking and cruel and very seventies, like yeah, sign me up for primal scream therapy.
There has to be away to abide. The Dalai Lama was once asked if he did things he regretted. Oh yes, absolutely, he said. Then the interviewer said, so how did you let go of this? The Dalai Lama was
kinda' quiet. Then he said something like, oh, no. I think of it every day. It will never go away.
Posted by SLS on July 6, 2011, at 5:52:08
In reply to Re: no good news » sigismund, posted by floatingbridge on July 6, 2011, at 2:49:37
I would just reiterate to you what others have said. This bad time will surely be over for you soon. You might even be better for the experience. I wonder if the clinicians will conclude that there is a little BPD going on. (I am not so sure that BPD applies to you). In any event, I encourage you to make full disclosure to your mental health professionals of what you think and feel. The sooner you decide not to attempt to please everyone else, the sooner you will be able to please yourself.
I wish for you your healing, no matter what the ailments that are to be treated.
- Scott
Posted by Dinah on July 6, 2011, at 8:05:09
In reply to Re: no good news » sigismund, posted by floatingbridge on July 6, 2011, at 2:49:37
I think there's probably no need to look to the past unless it's under your skin like a burr and causing a lot of pain. I've often discovered that I'm most anxious when I'm trying to avoid thinking about something, or trying to avoid feeling something. But a good therapist won't rush you. Further traumatization won't help much.
I hope you feel better soon.
Posted by floatingbridge on July 6, 2011, at 9:50:16
In reply to Re: no good news, posted by SLS on July 6, 2011, at 5:52:08
Scott, what does BPD stand for? If borderline, well I have tried to tell people I have those features. If Bipolar, I have had that nos thing given and taken away.
I have looked for mood stability all my life. Maybe now that I am older, I don't know. Mood stabilizers. I was at least better off on a little lithium than this.
I haven't a clue as to treatment protocol for borderline stuff besides therapy. I really feel like if this keeps up, I will become delirious. Lucid. Delirious. Because it is an onslaught. People think I can control this. I don't know what is happening. I don't insult anyone. I seem so reasonable.
I have never tried to hurt myself or anyone else. I tried to tell people how much things hurt and just please make it stop. Then doctors have either just said, you just need to go home and calm down. I really don't want to be drugged the way I saw women at the hospital. Their faces were twitching, and they were still crying.
If I can get out of this, once Morgan said 60%. How about a 60% med? My last doctor said oh hurrah you'll be 100% let's go aren't you wonderful. I don't think that was helpful thinking.
At least pristiq was a plug. No one round here does maoi's. They look at me when I bring them up like, what are you talking about lady? But the fear never really rested on an snri, nor the ups and downs. But at least I didn't shout in public nor jump out of cars.
By the time I got to the ER, I was exhausted. By the time anyone saw me, I was just tired and drifting.
My husband has decided some kind of intervention is necessary. But what? To get serious help, one has to say that one is suicidal. I was crying. I said no. I told the anxiety clinic and the ER that want to
live. I don't know why I love life. But last night I slept and woke and the thoughts would scrape me flat in my dreams. I mean, if this keeps up, I don't know if just dying looks good. Yesterday I knew why guns are a bad idea. Because when I was jumping out of the car I thought like a flicker, just f*ck*ng shoot me please. But if I told anyone, my husband or a doctor, they would make that thought permanent. Maybe lock me up and take away my rights. I was shouting at my husband that I am a human being. He's scared to pieces because he's like I know why are you shouting like that. I don't know either. I am just trying to get a doctor to give me an AD.I am very tired of being called complicated.
No one is awake here yet. My son was
with his aunt during all this. But I will have to face him today. It's early. I have to f*ck*ng call on the phone. Cold calls. My husband is going to help.I am falling through a lot of cracks right now.
>I would just reiterate to you what others have said. This bad time will surely be over for you soon. You might even be better for the experience. I wonder if the clinicians will conclude that there is a little BPD going on. (I am not so sure that BPD applies to you). In any event, I encourage you to make full disclosure to your mental health professionals of what you think and feel. The sooner you decide not to attempt to please everyone else, the sooner you will be able to please yourself.
>
> I wish for you your healing, no matter what the ailments that are to be treated.
>
>
> - Scott
Posted by floatingbridge on July 6, 2011, at 10:00:50
In reply to Re: no good news » floatingbridge, posted by Dinah on July 6, 2011, at 8:05:09
Thanks Dinah. I think there is a big gap between my treatment, and what I've read. I told my very nice husband this, like I get to pick the who when and where and what details of any event. I had to tell him I just wasn't comfortable going certain places with my ex-therapist. He understands. As much as an unafflicted person can.
It's pretty clear I need a therapist of some sort. I just can't have too many doctors and well-intentioned inside my head. I am shutting the door.
Your posts are like a very kind firm hand on the shoulder sometimes. Thank you.
> I think there's probably no need to look to the past unless it's under your skin like a burr and causing a lot of pain. I've often discovered that I'm most anxious when I'm trying to avoid thinking about something, or trying to avoid feeling something. But a good therapist won't rush you. Further traumatization won't help much.
>
> I hope you feel better soon.
Posted by floatingbridge on July 6, 2011, at 10:01:58
In reply to Re: no good news » floatingbridge, posted by Dinah on July 6, 2011, at 8:05:09
Posted by lepus on July 6, 2011, at 11:34:24
In reply to thank you babble (nm), posted by floatingbridge on July 6, 2011, at 10:01:58
I'm sorry things didn't go well, FB. Still hoping for better days ahead for you.
Posted by SLS on July 6, 2011, at 13:30:34
In reply to Re: no good news » SLS, posted by floatingbridge on July 6, 2011, at 9:50:16
> Scott, what does BPD stand for? If borderline, well I have tried to tell people I have those features.
Excellent.
To be so open minded will help to get you well sooner rather than later. Most people would be resistant to being diagnosed as BPD.
> If Bipolar, I have had that nos thing given and taken away.
Comorbidity is a possibility.
> I have looked for mood stability all my life.
Since what age?
> Maybe now that I am older, I don't know. Mood stabilizers. I was at least better off on a little lithium than this.
Perhaps lithium reduced impulsivity.
> I haven't a clue as to treatment protocol for borderline stuff besides therapy.
Trileptal + AP + CBT/DBT - I've seen it work.
> If I can get out of this, once Morgan said 60%. How about a 60% med?
That is a very clever observation. If one is Borderline, I would say that this 60% is correct. If one is suffering from a brain disorder type of mood illness, medication can be 100%. If your mood/anger/anxiety can swing several times a day (or even minutes), BPD must be considered.
What makes doctors think that you are bipolar and not borderline? Your particular hell might be some combination of BPD with BP/MDD, GAD, PTSD, etc.
- Scott
Posted by Roslynn on July 6, 2011, at 14:08:02
In reply to no good news, posted by floatingbridge on July 5, 2011, at 19:18:49
I'm sorry FB. Hoping things turn around for you.
Roslynn
Posted by sigismund on July 6, 2011, at 14:47:32
In reply to Re: no good news » sigismund, posted by floatingbridge on July 6, 2011, at 2:49:37
>. I think this attitude of you have to look at your sh*t is unthinking and cruel and very seventies, like yeah, sign me up for primal scream therapy.
I couldn't agree more.
I like the eastern idea that we need skills, and the therapeutic idea of growth.
I saw a program about Brazilian Indians having ants placed on them, and we said something and then I said 'But they're not as cruel as us'. There is a lot of unthinking cruelty in our culture.
Posted by alchemy on July 6, 2011, at 18:43:48
In reply to Re: no good news, posted by Roslynn on July 6, 2011, at 14:08:02
You have been so comforting & hopeful for me. You are a such good person.
It sounds like you are going through a more severe period right now. Maybe it will lead you to something that will help more long-term. These episodes do ease up. And they make our thinking and perception of reality more difficult.
Psychologists/Counselors have different ideas on dealing with the past. Mine thinks it is of no value. Unless you feel like you need to deal with a traumatic event.
For me counselors have just been someone nice to talk to. They have realized how chemical/physical my mood disorder is. For the 2 weeks after ECT I actually felt good- and my thoughts *automatically* were positive. I wanted to do nice things for people, bake cookies, actually enjoy things.
Not to discount cognitive therapy, it helps so many. I just wanted to make the point that you shouldn't blame yourself. It's more of a struggle when your brain isn't inclined to be in Happyville.
I hope you feel better soon. You will feel better. I can't wait for the day when we can sing "I made it through the rain"!
Posted by alchemy on July 6, 2011, at 18:50:10
In reply to no good news, posted by floatingbridge on July 5, 2011, at 19:18:49
I just read your post about going off Emsam. That was BAD for me. It was the first time I was introduced to EXTREME anxiety. Went to the hospital for a couple days.
Looking back, it was probably because not only did Emsam make me worse - the withdrawal probably wasn't good on my stupid whatever in my brain, and my body wasn't use to being on nothing.
Posted by emmanuel98 on July 6, 2011, at 18:55:36
In reply to FB - you are my favorite, posted by alchemy on July 6, 2011, at 18:43:48
Good luck FB. If you have some trauma history and BPD type symptoms, look for therapists trained in DBT. It is all about acceptance, regulation, mindfulness. Since I started seriously doing this DBT six weeks ago, I find I get control of these depressive episodes much faster than I used to.
Posted by floatingbridge on July 7, 2011, at 18:56:30
In reply to no good news, posted by floatingbridge on July 5, 2011, at 19:18:49
There is progress. I am less desperate because I am having my sleep ensured. It has been a day of awful waiting, but we are now looking at a private hospital. I finally found a therapist who includes trauma recovery in her skills set; we meet next week. I can endure if I sleep. Everthing else is pending. But yeah, I'm here.
Thank you for the kindnesses.
Posted by Phillipa on July 7, 2011, at 21:42:10
In reply to update » floatingbridge, posted by floatingbridge on July 7, 2011, at 18:56:30
FB seriously hospital and have sleep meds? I've been gone all day. If not sleeping update again. Love Phillipa
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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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