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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 11 of 11. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by whymelord on April 24, 2010, at 15:04:14
Mx: Major Depression with Anxiety (no anxiety at all these days)
Rx: 4 months Lexapro 20mg -> tapered to 10 mg 10 days ago, Lorazepam 1mg as required (taken just 2 times so far)My depression had almost gotten over.... but 3 days ago something very strange happened... I was sitting and reading a magazine and suddenly I felt something go wrong in my head - like I have lost the ability to think....I am deeply troubled over the past few days' experience of my "inability to think straight" - "unable to know how I think normally" - "mind feeling blank" and "thinking that I am thinking"... it is not that my mind is actually blank - I can write and talk and read - it is just that thoughts would emerge but I wont know how to "think" them.. It is so difficult to describe the feeling - its as though I would have a thought - lets say 'the weather is cold today'.... but I am at a loss 'how to think it in my mind'... it attacks the core of my existence - if you are unable to think what you want to think - and when you actually have a though you are unsure HOW to think it.... and I would leave it half way in-between and then I would be blank - only to get dysphoric and move on to some mentally engaging task like reading the newspaper - yet again only to read continuously - observing my own thoughts and reactions (basically none because I am self-observing).... hence feeling numb - hence adding to my discomfort and making me more depressed....
What has happened?Therapist says to calm down and let it be, it could be anxiety but so is not the case.... is it some sort of dissociation.... too early to diagnose I can understand...Please help ....
Is there any website/resource/online-free therapist who could help me... my therapist is going to be booted soon and I would take a couple of days to find a new one.... till then I need to maintain my sanity and not crash down.
Posted by floatingbridge on April 24, 2010, at 15:53:36
In reply to I am going crazy - unable to think normally - HELP, posted by whymelord on April 24, 2010, at 15:04:14
Hey there, how are you hanging in there? So, these unthought thoughts, are they intrusive? I'm also wondering what the feeling content is for you. You mention dysphoric. Are the thoughts dysphoric--are they images, impressions, sensory, mixed? Or the process you're trying to describe causing the dysphoria?
So still have adequate word recall and those fuctions?
I have ptsd, so I'm thinking, possibly, an unpleasant issue might be intruding. Just having MDD & anxiety can be very terrifying and uncomfortable--one need not have ptsd to have 'intrusive' thoughts. Even blank spaces can be alarming.
Letting your thoughts pass regardless of content is good advice; to practice saying to yourself that 'this' episode, this thought really will pass, and that you will feel better. Some people call it distress tolerance. I find it difficult to practice in acute crisis--however, over the years, I've built up some tolerance 'muscles'.
If I'm off-base, I apologize--it wouldn't be the first time.
Keep posting!
Posted by hyperfocus on April 24, 2010, at 18:19:52
In reply to I am going crazy - unable to think normally - HELP, posted by whymelord on April 24, 2010, at 15:04:14
It's possible that what you're experiencing are pure obsessional intrusive thoughts - I know what you mean when you say you are somehow hyperaware of thinking and you have this seemingly unshakeable unignorable belief that your thinking process is going to be broken and there's nothing you can do about it and you can't stop thinking this away. I've experienced something like this myself.
Possible causes might be changes to your medication, or it could be just an evolution of your depression and anxiety into an obsessional disorder. Perhaps it's too soon to taper the Lexapro - what about going back to 20mg? Don't panic though - these thoughts can be stopped. For immediate relief - just try to remind yourself that nothing is wrong with your thinking - it's the thoughts about your thinking that are the problem. This is actually very difficult to do, but the root cause of obsessive thoughts is the anxiety and reluctance to think them and the sense of loss of control. If you abdicate responsibility for them - just let them be and continue with your everyday activities, it should reduce the anxiety about them. In the short term increasing the lorazepam could also be effective but be careful that it's not actually the lorazepam that somehow is triggering this episode since you just started taking it. Meds affect all of us in different ways
There are medications you can take - specifically serotonigic agents like Prozac and Anafranil and Zoloft for obsessional thinking. It's actually very common. So don't panic - you're not going crazy. You CAN think quite normally. And you will get better.
Posted by Phillipa on April 24, 2010, at 18:20:20
In reply to Re: I am going crazy - unable to think normally - » whymelord, posted by floatingbridge on April 24, 2010, at 15:53:36
HI have you informed the prescribing doctor of what is happening to you. Did you say you were tapering the lexapro or did I misread. If so apologies as was thinking withdrawal. If so increase dose again and see if you feel a bit better. Phillipa
Posted by mellow on April 25, 2010, at 23:46:17
In reply to Re: I am going crazy - unable to think normally -, posted by Phillipa on April 24, 2010, at 18:20:20
Thanks so much for posting about this problem b/c this happens to me as well. I sometimes get very obsessive about how i am thinking and want certain thoughts out of my head. I label them as "bad" or "terrible" thoughts that i shouldn't be having and i get worried that i'm not in control of my brain and i can't get a handle on my thought processes.
My therapist tells me not to own my thoughts. Just let them be. She tells me that my thoughts sometimes just "happen to me" they don't always come from me. I don't have to feel bad for having a thought or not being able to control what comes into my head.
I bet it is the Lexapro taper. I tried to cut my SSRI (Celexa) down last year and this sort of OCD type thinking and agitation got really bad so my doc stopped the taper. I don't have near as bad a problem with it now that i'm back to my original dose. An antipsychotic helps a lot too. Risperdal works wonders in that category for me. It helps me filter a lot of that garbage out so i'm kind of on "auto pilot" and just go about my day.
i wish you the best of luck.
mellow
Posted by sigismund on April 26, 2010, at 2:48:40
In reply to I am going crazy - unable to think normally - HELP, posted by whymelord on April 24, 2010, at 15:04:14
>it attacks the core of my existence - if you are unable to think what you want to think - and when you actually have a though you are unsure HOW to think it.... and I would leave it half way in-between and then I would be blank - only to get dysphoric and move on to some mentally engaging task like reading the newspaper - yet again only to read continuously - observing my own thoughts and reactions (basically none because I am self-observing).... hence feeling numb - hence adding to my discomfort and making me more depressed....
Sounds like depersonalisation causing or caused by some mental state thingo, or meds, or changes to them.
Posted by linkadge on April 27, 2010, at 19:25:58
In reply to Re: I am going crazy - unable to think normally - HELP, posted by sigismund on April 26, 2010, at 2:48:40
escitalopram (lexapro) seems to distort my thinking - strange thought patterns.
Linkadge
Posted by Jeroen on April 28, 2010, at 17:39:52
In reply to I am going crazy - unable to think normally - HELP, posted by whymelord on April 24, 2010, at 15:04:14
that's some form of psychosis
not depression, those are disorthed taughts
you need to be on an anti psychotic,
maybe the anti depressant caused this, or an underlyin ilness,
i'm f*ck*d up myself, so i think it's psychosis
Posted by whymelord on April 29, 2010, at 3:49:11
In reply to that's some form of psychosis, posted by Jeroen on April 28, 2010, at 17:39:52
No its not psychosis.. But thanks for trying.
You do seem to be f**ked up. But thats fine we all are and most would agree.
Posted by Jeroen on April 29, 2010, at 5:41:09
In reply to Re: that's some form of psychosis, posted by whymelord on April 29, 2010, at 3:49:11
i ment some form of psychosis, i have a natural psychosis, and a med induced psychosis
the natural psychosis just played tricks with my mind and caused anxiety but not much psychotic severe thins
so thats what i mean, you might live with it witouth taking meds for it ...
Posted by morganator on April 29, 2010, at 21:53:27
In reply to Re: that's some form of psychosis, posted by whymelord on April 29, 2010, at 3:49:11
>You do seem to be f**ked up
Umm, was that really necessary? I think this was a bit harsh. He was just taking a stab at what might be going on with you.
Whatever is going on with you, it is a bit out of the ordinary as far more common symptoms of mental illness are concerned. I would keep an open mind and get a second or third opinion. Don't just rely on your therapist. Do they have a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and are they fully qualified to make a proper diagnosis?
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