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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 9 of 9. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by always_doing_laundry on October 23, 2008, at 9:55:28
I know this is probably one of those posts: "I want to quit taking my meds because I feel OK and maybe don't need them anymore (because they're working), and I just don't like being on meds for some reason (even though I don't notice side effects but *will* notice side effects from tapering)"
... But, I just have this impulse to stop the meds. I don't feel emotionally or physically bad. I'm just tired of feeling like a person who takes meds or needs to take meds.
I don't take that high of a dose, but I am aware that if I have a seizure from discontinuation or lack of therapeutic effect, that I will then pay consequences so far as driving and other privileges and whatever brain losses might be associated with that (or injury, should I fall or whatever). I'm aware that in the past, I had weird physical side effects that I thought were part of a downhill slide with anorexia, but turned out to be b/c I was trying to go off lamictal. I would have muscle weakness, extreme fatigue, emotional lability, weird sensitivities, taste perversions/preferences, tooth pain, cognitive fuzziness and word-finding problems, slurring of speech ... all of which *went away* when I went back ON the lamictal. I never had those effects titrating up. I never noticed any side effects. But I had a taper schedule, and even with the taper schedule, I was crazy. So, why would I want to be crazy and risk all the physical potentialities again.
Don't know ... just don't wanna be on meds anymore. Except, grudgingly, neurontin, because I have terrible neuropathy and I just can't stand the pain/freezing/burning/lead-footed sensations in my feet if I'm not on a minimal dose. I wish I could dump it, too. It's not entirely a stigma thing, b/c no one knows I take meds ... I don't shout it to the mountaintops. I just don't want to take them. Control? Crazy head? Some sort of episode?
Feedback? Insight? Experiences?
Posted by bulldog2 on October 23, 2008, at 10:35:09
In reply to Wanna dump meds just because, posted by always_doing_laundry on October 23, 2008, at 9:55:28
> I know this is probably one of those posts: "I want to quit taking my meds because I feel OK and maybe don't need them anymore (because they're working), and I just don't like being on meds for some reason (even though I don't notice side effects but *will* notice side effects from tapering)"
>
> ... But, I just have this impulse to stop the meds. I don't feel emotionally or physically bad. I'm just tired of feeling like a person who takes meds or needs to take meds.
>
> I don't take that high of a dose, but I am aware that if I have a seizure from discontinuation or lack of therapeutic effect, that I will then pay consequences so far as driving and other privileges and whatever brain losses might be associated with that (or injury, should I fall or whatever). I'm aware that in the past, I had weird physical side effects that I thought were part of a downhill slide with anorexia, but turned out to be b/c I was trying to go off lamictal. I would have muscle weakness, extreme fatigue, emotional lability, weird sensitivities, taste perversions/preferences, tooth pain, cognitive fuzziness and word-finding problems, slurring of speech ... all of which *went away* when I went back ON the lamictal. I never had those effects titrating up. I never noticed any side effects. But I had a taper schedule, and even with the taper schedule, I was crazy. So, why would I want to be crazy and risk all the physical potentialities again.
>
> Don't know ... just don't wanna be on meds anymore. Except, grudgingly, neurontin, because I have terrible neuropathy and I just can't stand the pain/freezing/burning/lead-footed sensations in my feet if I'm not on a minimal dose. I wish I could dump it, too. It's not entirely a stigma thing, b/c no one knows I take meds ... I don't shout it to the mountaintops. I just don't want to take them. Control? Crazy head? Some sort of episode?
>
> Feedback? Insight? Experiences?Would you feel that way if you were taking meds for high cholesterol, high blood pressure, etc. Maybe it is the stigma of taking meds for mental disorders?
Woman where I worked didn't want to take her meds either. She stopped them and lapsed back into psychosis and eventually had to be committed.
I guess no one likes taking meds but if their working why stop?
Posted by Phillipa on October 23, 2008, at 11:06:52
In reply to Re: Wanna dump meds just because, posted by bulldog2 on October 23, 2008, at 10:35:09
And if they're not working why take them. Now that is only my answer as the thread poster's meds are working and for I dont want to do laudry I feel you should continue taking your meds. Phillipa
Posted by Phillipa on October 23, 2008, at 11:44:21
In reply to Wanna dump meds just because, posted by always_doing_laundry on October 23, 2008, at 9:55:28
Will you accept an apology from me? Please? I wasn't thinking right when first answered do to own problems. But I do think it's normal not to want to take meds. I mean that means we have a fault in our bodies and for me this means my body has failed me. And not just psych meds. Was so bad for me when my thyroid went that I almost vomited the synthroid since to me my body had failed. See I grew up with a sick Mother who died when I was 17 and her motto was lose your health and you have nothing. It was ingraine in me. But you are doing well and to stop your meds there is always the chance they won't work again. I think quite a few people feel this way about all kinds of meds. By the way it's great they are working for you. Phillipa
Posted by bulldog2 on October 23, 2008, at 11:51:53
In reply to Wanna dump meds just because, posted by always_doing_laundry on October 23, 2008, at 9:55:28
> I know this is probably one of those posts: "I want to quit taking my meds because I feel OK and maybe don't need them anymore (because they're working), and I just don't like being on meds for some reason (even though I don't notice side effects but *will* notice side effects from tapering)"
>
> ... But, I just have this impulse to stop the meds. I don't feel emotionally or physically bad. I'm just tired of feeling like a person who takes meds or needs to take meds.
>
> I don't take that high of a dose, but I am aware that if I have a seizure from discontinuation or lack of therapeutic effect, that I will then pay consequences so far as driving and other privileges and whatever brain losses might be associated with that (or injury, should I fall or whatever). I'm aware that in the past, I had weird physical side effects that I thought were part of a downhill slide with anorexia, but turned out to be b/c I was trying to go off lamictal. I would have muscle weakness, extreme fatigue, emotional lability, weird sensitivities, taste perversions/preferences, tooth pain, cognitive fuzziness and word-finding problems, slurring of speech ... all of which *went away* when I went back ON the lamictal. I never had those effects titrating up. I never noticed any side effects. But I had a taper schedule, and even with the taper schedule, I was crazy. So, why would I want to be crazy and risk all the physical potentialities again.
>
> Don't know ... just don't wanna be on meds anymore. Except, grudgingly, neurontin, because I have terrible neuropathy and I just can't stand the pain/freezing/burning/lead-footed sensations in my feet if I'm not on a minimal dose. I wish I could dump it, too. It's not entirely a stigma thing, b/c no one knows I take meds ... I don't shout it to the mountaintops. I just don't want to take them. Control? Crazy head? Some sort of episode?
>
> Feedback? Insight? Experiences?You're lucky you have found that meds that work because many here are frustrated that they can't find the right combo.
Posted by Trotter on October 23, 2008, at 13:43:45
In reply to Wanna dump meds just because, posted by always_doing_laundry on October 23, 2008, at 9:55:28
I think it is perfectly normal to have a desire to get off medication, even when it is working. I think we have a strong desire to be normal, and how can one be normal when taking mind altering drugs? The danger is that we can convince ourselves that THIS TIME we are strong enough, or wise enough, to manage the condition without drugs, maybe even beat it? The irony is that this sense of confidence is only present because one is taking the drugs. When we stop taking them we usually lose that level of confidence and self-control.
It's a tough one, because ultimately we would all like to get by without drugs, and unless you try, you will not know if you can do it. However if you have suffered from depression or bipolar for years, the reality is that you will probably need medication to function best. Bottom line - I think if it is working fairly well, with few side effects, then you are probably best staying on the meds. I see more downside risk in stopping. Consider also that previously successful meds often don't work as well second time around, so don't assume you have nothing to lose by doing a trial break.
Trotter
Posted by always_doing_laundry on October 23, 2008, at 14:47:01
In reply to Re: Wanna dump meds just because, posted by bulldog2 on October 23, 2008, at 11:51:53
Thank you everyone for responding. I know this recurring idea that I could be Ok without meds is part of having epilepsy and a mood disorder, and that it is me being a typical epilepsy patient, etc. I don't wanna be that patient, but I guess that's my problem -- I don't wanna be a patient, period. There is no evidence that anything has changed, but it would be so great if it had, and my brain thinks that I would never know without a no-meds trial. Plus, I always think if I'm that screwed up body-wise going off of meds, I wonder what they're actually doing to me and if I would feel like a different or better person if I could get off of them.
I think it might be mostly because my pdoc won't be taking my insurance anymore after Dec. 31, so I need to find a new one, and my neurologist already left his practice entirely a year ago. It's hard to start over with docs, and I think I just wanna be med-free so that I'm not dependent on either doctors or substances. Of course, if I flip out or seize, then I'm gonna be seeing somebody one way or another.
Posted by Phillipa on October 23, 2008, at 20:12:41
In reply to Re: Wanna dump meds just because, posted by always_doing_laundry on October 23, 2008, at 14:47:01
And you could have a worse seizure. I'm sure he will refer you to some other doc. Phillipa
Posted by yxibow on November 1, 2008, at 17:26:02
In reply to Re: Wanna dump meds just because, posted by always_doing_laundry on October 23, 2008, at 14:47:01
> Thank you everyone for responding. I know this recurring idea that I could be Ok without meds is part of having epilepsy and a mood disorder, and that it is me being a typical epilepsy patient, etc. I don't wanna be that patient, but I guess that's my problem -- I don't wanna be a patient, period.
Nobody wants to be a patient. I don't want to be the person I don't recognize, the one that I thought was much better in the past (rosy lenses maybe, but you can't bring the past back, you live in the Here and Now.)
That's why its important not to define one's identity as a patient, but by one's qualities and the things one accomplishes in life. NAMI uses the word "consumer" for a patient, and that is sort of perhaps an odd way of looking at it, but you pay, and you get help, you are just as a consumer as any other type.There is no evidence that anything has changed, but it would be so great if it had, and my brain thinks that I would never know without a no-meds trial.
This is always the case -- some people who come off of SSRIs wish they hadn't, but your case is more complicated and delicate -- you have an organic disorder and a psychiatric one, which is not uncommon.
Plus, I always think if I'm that screwed up body-wise going off of meds, I wonder what they're actually doing to me and if I would feel like a different or better person if I could get off of them.
Some people who are taking massive amounts of medicines might feel less "soaked to the gills", if I may use the term, but a healthy balance of necessary minimum medications may be a necessary part of someone's functional life.
> I think it might be mostly because my pdoc won't be taking my insurance anymore after Dec. 31, so I need to find a new one, and my neurologist already left his practice entirely a year ago.It's hard to start over with docs,
It is -- a relationship has been built over the years -- I would work with your psychiatrist because he sort of owes you referrals and a transition in a hippocratic way, just as your neurologist should have, if he did.
You shouldn't have epilepsy without an occasional neurological consultation -- the AEDs build up to a point where you must take them or you will have a seizure. I didn't want to scare you there and that goes against what I said about feeling like a patient, but its practicality.
and I think I just wanna be med-free so that I'm not dependent on either doctors or substances.As I said, wouldn't we all, my father and I I think tie for the amount of agents and he's on heart agents.
Of course, if I flip out or seize, then I'm gonna be seeing somebody one way or another
Exactly -- if you have a rider on your drivers license that you are epilepsy free, which some people do after an observation period of X years in Y state, you don't want to go there.
Same you would want that to happen in an unfortuitous location, like not on a carpet, if I'm really getting morose.
Use the time now with your pdoc to discuss your feelings and transition over to another recommendation -- maybe if he doesn't have a good one that you would want, he might be able to ask your GP.-- best wishes
Jay
This is the end of the thread.
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