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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 14 of 14. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Fivefires on September 24, 2008, at 1:12:07
Provigil helps but doesn't last through the day.
I can't tell if Effexor-XR is doing anything. It used to help w/ anxiety but isn't now.
I've low iron, B12, D, going to lab.
Scared. Posted on Social fam' makes friend stay away from me.
Asked pdoc augment Effexor-XR or regular Effexor w/ nortriptyline or imipramiine and he wanted to see how I did on a different way of prescribing my Xanax first. Provigil is only thing that really helps me and, did I say this already?, it only lasts about 5-6 hrs?????????????????????
I can go to MX to p/u as prior a*thorization w/ what pdoc wrote on there was way a no-go.
Any rest of you trouble affording?
I only get it when they get in samples and when they have none, I have none and feel I'm gonna' lose it.
I'm not suicidal, homicidal, or psychotic.
I'm having a lot of hot and cold rushes.
I have horrible agoraphobia.
What's happened to me???????????????????????????
I'm still not considered a senior, think I'm pretty nice looking, just have these anxiety problems and sorta less the depression. Is it poss' someone missed this bipolar-II w/ rapid cycling? Does that sound like me?
I mean I can be great fun to be around, but now this stint of entrapment, now 9mos, I've freakin' scared to death. Food just turns my stomach. I'm hot. I'm cold. I can't do very much w/o having to lie down, like right now.
It isn't time for me to leave this earth ... but oh I keep thinking about the astro reading, then I identify w/ the embarrassment, humiliation, and pain. I'm me. I had me. I can't find me!!!!!!!
bestwishesall, 5f
Posted by henryo on September 24, 2008, at 5:30:46
In reply to The WORST I've ever been, posted by Fivefires on September 24, 2008, at 1:12:07
deplin
Posted by Partlycloudy on September 24, 2008, at 8:19:00
In reply to The WORST I've ever been, posted by Fivefires on September 24, 2008, at 1:12:07
I had a lot of trouble with temperature regulation while I was on Effexor - I got the sweats with the smallest of exertions. My GYN doctor was convinced it was a hormonal problem, but treatments in that direction had no effect. It wasn't until I had to discontinue Effexor (it pooped out) that "all of a sudden" my body's air conditioning returned to normal.
Just my experience. And, bear in mind that Effexor is prescribed in lower dosages to women who are experiencing hot flashes - so the medical community KNOW that it has an effect on temperature regulation.And that's my 2 cents for today!
Posted by Phillipa on September 24, 2008, at 10:58:50
In reply to Re: The WORST I've ever been, posted by Partlycloudy on September 24, 2008, at 8:19:00
Interesting didn't know that. So maybe a combo of hot flashes also as they can last for years? Phillipa
Posted by clipper40 on September 25, 2008, at 3:15:23
In reply to The WORST I've ever been, posted by Fivefires on September 24, 2008, at 1:12:07
If Effexor used to help you, then maybe Cymbalta would be the next thing to try (if you haven't already).
Whatever you do, don't go off of the Effexor without another serotonergic medication to replace it. You don't need Effexor withdrawal problems on top of everything else you're going through now.
Try to hang in there. We've all gone through some horrible times. You'll get this under control and hopefully very soon.
Posted by yxibow on September 30, 2008, at 2:12:34
In reply to The WORST I've ever been, posted by Fivefires on September 24, 2008, at 1:12:07
> Provigil helps but doesn't last through the day.
>
> I can't tell if Effexor-XR is doing anything. It used to help w/ anxiety but isn't now.Your chemistry could have switched -- Effexor may calm some people down contrary to thought because its rather activating.
> I've low iron, B12, D, going to lab.
This was measured from a physical test?
There are supplements and treatments to all of those, there may be physiological reasons for the above but I wouldn't worry you further.> Scared. Posted on Social fam' makes friend stay away from me.
I hear you -- I didn't get the second part.
> Asked pdoc augment Effexor-XR or regular Effexor w/ nortriptyline or imipramiine and he wanted to see how I did on a different way of prescribing my Xanax first. Provigil is only thing that really helps me and, did I say this already?, it only lasts about 5-6 hrs?????????????????????
How long have you been taking the Provigil? It is about half a day once the plasma level reaches its state.
Nausea and nervousness are possible side effects, if you have them, adding to the below mentioned issues with food
> I can go to MX to p/u as prior a*thorization w/ what pdoc wrote on there was way a no-go.
MX ?
> Any rest of you trouble affording?
Patented medication can be really expensive
> I only get it when they get in samples and when they have none, I have none and feel I'm gonna' lose it.
Have you or your psychiatrist attempted to enroll in a patient support program from the makers of Provigil, if he thinks the medication is helping you. Some makers will provide medication through low cost programs.
> I'm not suicidal, homicidal, or psychotic.
I understand this, it also doesn't serve a purpose to label yourself because it sort of is self-diagnosing.
> I'm having a lot of hot and cold rushes.
I think I mentioned this before, or maybe I'm thinking of someone else but this is a real characteristic of the anxiety "fight or flight" system. They are real feelings, and the system in our body was meant to protect us in primitive (and modern days) from harm from say, a mastodon or something.
Now, I do take it that you're female, so there's always differential diagnosis. I don't know what your insurance covers, but maybe some test can be run at a gynecologist if it is warranted -- but it sounds more like anxiety to me. I can't say, I'm not the MD.
> I have horrible agoraphobia.
This isn't your fault but perhaps there is a psychological connection to staying inside too long, and being disconnected from society. I know there are other medical aspects of it, but it too can be fought with CBT techniques.
> What's happened to me???????????????????????????
>
> I'm still not considered a senior, think I'm pretty nice looking, just have these anxiety problems and sorta less the depression. Is it poss' someone missed this bipolar-II w/ rapid cycling? Does that sound like me?You already complemented yourself. Why not do more of that. That's nice.
> I mean I can be great fun to be around, but now this stint of entrapment, now 9mos, I've freakin' scared to death. Food just turns my stomach. I'm hot. I'm cold. I can't do very much w/o having to lie down, like right now.
More complements. I know from my own experience that I beat up on myself because of multiple problems but don't give myself credit for what I can do.
Fear can do all of the above. There are relaxation techniques. Fear is a very strong force but it can create all of the above. And its not your fault, again, something needs to change with your medication and to try to do little things. It can be a slow journey but there is recovery.
Most of the serotonin receptors in the body are in the stomach and other areas and its not surprising that food upsets things.
The entrapment can become worse if one lets themselves hide from life. I know, I hide under the covers sometimes because I don't want to experience what is going on with me. But there are times when I say to myself, I'm not coming home to just sleep, and I try to force myself to do something.
Again, these feelings aren't your fault but it would really benefit if you tried to do just the little things. I know you've said you're agoraphobic -- I don't know if you have a house or an apartment, its irrelevant. Just walk out for 1 minute and if its too much then go back in. Do exercises like this to improve your feelings and well being.
> It isn't time for me to leave this earth ... but oh I keep thinking about the astro reading, then I identify w/ the embarrassment, humiliation, and pain. I'm me. I had me. I can't find me!!!!!!!
Maybe you're searching for a time you knew, and I think a number of us can say we feel lost at times. But the present is the only place where we live. And don't give up on yourself, and whether you believe or not in astrology, if it gave you a bad feeling, why hold onto it, why not shelve it.
As others have said, don't give up, and the most important thing is to find your meaning and purpose. Your hobbies, what you enjoy, even if you don't enjoy them now, why not make a list of them to bring into your p-doc?
> bestwishesall, 5f
-- best wishes for feeling better
--- Jay
Posted by Fivefires on October 5, 2008, at 0:45:51
In reply to Re: The WORST I've ever been » Fivefires, posted by yxibow on September 30, 2008, at 2:12:34
Deplin????????
Provigil only thing will get me out of bed, otherwise lie there and losing weight.
But, Provigil doesn't 'LAST A DAY' in me. So, I, take half early on in day and half mid day, ONLY IF I HAVE TO DO SOMETHING THAT DAY.
I am an orderly and clean person ... everything in its place.
Well, I must have taken 300mg of Provigil one night (Try to keep up w/ boyfriend's mania I think.) and I tried to re-organize my room.
Friends, I'm sitting in the middle of a mess and crying. I MESSED UP MY ROOM! I CAN'T STAND LOOKING AT IT. I CAN'T BELIEVE I DID THIS. IT HAD TO BE MANIA!
Now I'm overwhelmed, just completely overwhelmed. Huge files in file boxes fell and the papers from one file intermixed with the papers from other files. A soda spilled on my desk and I didn't clean it up. I just threw a towel on it. I was just setting my satellite to record some TV shows and I actually let my ashes FALL ON THE FREAKIN' FLOOR!
IF MY MOTHER SAW THIS ROOM THERE IS NO WAY SHE WOULD THINK I LIVED HER. I'M TALKING HER DOWN. I'M SAYING THIS ROOM IS COMPLETELY OPPOSITE WHAT IT USUALLY LOOKS LIKE.
AND I'M SCARED TO PICK ONE THING UP!?
STUMPED, 5f
Oh. MX is Mexico
Posted by Fivefires on October 16, 2008, at 17:55:09
In reply to Re: The WORST I've ever been » Fivefires, posted by clipper40 on September 25, 2008, at 3:15:23
I've gone to 375mg Effexor-XR, and the Provigil 100morn and 100midday.
Hey you guys ... I'm not getting better. I'm a shut-in. My organizational skills have turned to litter all over my room. I don't bathe or brush my teeth. I literally cry if I must leave this place. Unowho here one time; $250 Provigil gone, red flag. This person must not return, and there will only be one visitor a week; one of my children for a few hours. I believe in good and never wanted to acknowledge there is true evil in our lives, but it seems there is, and, it has eaten me for lunch!!! No one comes to my aid and this lends me to think they've given up 'on me' and if this is so, these loved ones, I love, 'I give up too'. Not su*cidal, not anything. I miss all.
5f
Posted by Phillipa on October 16, 2008, at 23:03:21
In reply to Re: The WORST I've ever been, posted by henryo on September 24, 2008, at 5:30:46
Five Fires been gone all day pdocs. Are you on too much effexor? Does pdoc know what's going on? Please answer my questions. Phillipa
Posted by Fivefires on October 18, 2008, at 11:09:47
In reply to Re: The WORST I've ever been » henryo, posted by Phillipa on October 16, 2008, at 23:03:21
> Five Fires been gone all day pdocs. Are you on too much effexor?
i can't tell anymore ...
Does pdoc know what's going on?
i don't think he knows how serious this is 'cuz you have 'to see me in it' and I don't do it deliberately, but when I'm out at appt., I guard, stand tall, act together, all that.
I feel like I'm going to wither away and die in my sleep or something. No s, h, or psychosis. Just no one; too alone; no one cares very much. Guess pp do pass away at middle age, just never in my FOO.
That's all I can say Phillipa. Miss u.
Posted by yxibow on October 20, 2008, at 1:49:09
In reply to Re: The WORST I've ever been, posted by Fivefires on October 18, 2008, at 11:09:47
> > Five Fires been gone all day pdocs. Are you on too much effexor?
>
> i can't tell anymore ...
>
> Does pdoc know what's going on?
>
> i don't think he knows how serious this is 'cuz you have 'to see me in it' and I don't do it deliberately, but when I'm out at appt., I guard, stand tall, act together, all that.How about acting just how you are. "Guard", "standing tall", sure, we all try to act with reasonable decorum in public, but if you actually could bring out some of these feelings in your psychiatrist's office by being yourself, if I can say that with the neutrality I mean it, maybe more work could be done to help yourself come out of it. Its hard to come out of a "shut-in" or block-out-the-world state, but it -is- possible. Some of it is very subconscious and based on other psychological issues you may be having, but some of it is in your hands (and I say this as I try to figure out ways in my mind of doing things myself like walking around the block consistently as I need to), by doing, you chip away slowly at the things that are hurting you, and hurting yourself (that wasn't an insult), and you are that more a winner.
I know, I'm reading into it things from my life which may not be in yours -- but we all do have a power to persuade and encourage our own self esteem, its just tightly locked it some.
I don't believe you do it deliberately at all. I have a hard time at the moment doing the work I need to do to on a project that is supposed to set me forward and a lot of work is ended up being done with my therapist when I need to be doing it personally, like I had started at the beginning.
My depression has gone considerably up and I'm likely to be found especially on weekends hiding from life in the sofa or my bedroom or back to my computer, outside for a few minutes, and rinse and repeat.
> I feel like I'm going to wither away and die in my sleep or something. No s, h, or psychosis. Just no one; too alone; no one cares very much. Guess pp do pass away at middle age, just never in my FOO.
But this... hmm... its going to sound very dull or maybe even crass... this focuses only on the negative of everything. People pass away when they do, there's no given guarantee, but while we are in this temporary existence anyhow, is it possible to envision at all some positive future or even break it down much further and make a list of just 5 skills or hobbies or things you enjoy, never mind if you don't now?
And as far as your loved ones -- who knows, maybe they don't know either how to help you, but if I may be crass, this will sound really hurtful, but it hurts a lot and it will take time to get there, but turn it around and say so what to that, then.
Do the work to get yourself outside the house, or when you are actually outside your house, I challenge another list or idea, which is certainly common in depression, those hobbies or skills -- why not look on something like craigslist or any interpersonal site or however you might prefer, and find some organization or group that also likes those hobbies.Who knows, you might find a friend. And that is more valuable than you would ever think.
Its not a battle between good and evil, I mean, maybe it is in your mind, I can certainly understand that, its a battle against turning the way one looks at the world against itself and using that to your advantage. If you're really down, what do you have to lose but go up?
Saying this isn't easy because I have an attachment to a past that, through rosy lenses at times was "a much better time", but not all of it was, there were challenges, a lot of it was very good -- but things all change, people move on, and life presents its obstacles. As is supposedly said by Yogi Berra, when you see a fork, take it.-- best wishes
Jay
Posted by Fivefires on October 23, 2008, at 11:05:28
In reply to Re: The WORST I've ever been » Fivefires, posted by yxibow on October 20, 2008, at 1:49:09
Jay, I appreciate all you say and I'm inspired.
This way to go, and yes, I understand my part, sounds delightfully challenging and I'm gonna' give it a try.
Really. Thanks so,
5f
Posted by Phillipa on October 23, 2008, at 20:08:30
In reply to Re: The WORST I've ever been, posted by Fivefires on October 23, 2008, at 11:05:28
Five Fires so you sound better. Doing better? love Phillipa
Posted by Fivefires on October 26, 2008, at 19:42:31
In reply to Re: The WORST I've ever been » Fivefires, posted by yxibow on October 20, 2008, at 1:49:09
I'm not fooling any of you. The gusto is gone. The 'want' is gone. I'm afraid it's back to the medication. If my face 'stuck like it is right now', I'd have a permanent frown.
Pls don't tell me I'M GIVING UP or IT'S MY FAULT; 'cuz if it is, I know already.
Jay's take is inspiring and if I read it every morning maybe, just maybe it would help me, but I can't even move upon waking w/o a Provigil.
I am going to print out J, author unknown of course, so I can re-read it, and put it in a place close to me, like right by my bed.
Why am I doing this to myself? I don't think I am. I think something bigger than me is holding me down.
I don't know what to say. I'm sorry.
5f
This is the end of the thread.
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