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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 22 of 22. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by scratchpad on July 4, 2007, at 7:33:05
I've been back on a full dose of Cymbalta for 7 weeks and my depression is worse than it's ever been. I want to not wake up. I sleep 16 - 18 hours a day lately. When I have a good day, I scramble to get done whatever I can before I crash again.
I called my pdoc's office (Dr MudBucket) for an emergency appointment. July 12th was the date I was given. "But," said the sweet, clueless lass on the other end of the phone, "he'll have a cancellation tomorrow (that was yesterday). He always has cancellations." (That's a sign right there, isn't it??)
Except for yesterday, I guess, because I got no call. I have an appointment scheduled for a new pdoc, many miles away, for the 31st of the month, so I know the cavalry is on the way. But right now? I'm hanging in there, but not very well. I don't feel well enough to leave the house most days. I still have my once a week volunteer job that I've been able to paste a smile on for, though the rest of the day is spent in bed and in tears.
Any advice for how to hold on when you want to die? I don't want to kill myself, I just don't care enough to live right now. Like I don't care if I don't wake up, but I wouldn't take anything to ensure that would happen. I can't stand any noise, I can't listen to music, I can't read, I can't eat with any enthusiasm, though I am eating. I drink water and take my meds as prescribed. I sleep.
Scratchpad
Posted by Honore on July 4, 2007, at 9:27:31
In reply to *trigger* Dr MudBucket doesn't 'do' crisis, posted by scratchpad on July 4, 2007, at 7:33:05
I want you to call every morning, until you get an appointment. If he has cancellations, you'll get one, because when you call, they'll think-- Oh, yes, SP has been calling. o We have an appointment-- so we'll give it to her." Sometimes you just have to be that squeaky wheel.. They won't mind-- believe me-- someone has to get it.
I hate to suggest that, because I know doing that is really hard even if you're not feeling so incredibly bad-- but this really is just not letting go until they give you the appointment. They have them. You need one. This will happen if you call every day.
They may be forgetful, or whatever-- but they'll get the message. Please do that sp-- it's got to be better than going through this for another month.
Call today, just to remind them, so that when you call tomorrow morning, they'll know exactly who, and why. I bet before the end of the week, or the beginning of next week, you'll have seen him.
(((((SP))))
Honore
Posted by Phillipa on July 4, 2007, at 10:12:10
In reply to *trigger* Dr MudBucket doesn't 'do' crisis, posted by scratchpad on July 4, 2007, at 7:33:05
SP didn't you give up a mood stabalizer a while back? And did he change your diagnosis? Maybe another mood stabalizer? I think it great that you are still doing the volunteer work. Cymbalta did nothing first time for me and second couldn't tolerate. Second time it was situational I'm sure new move new doc and what about hormones? Love Phillipa
Posted by scratchpad on July 4, 2007, at 10:33:45
In reply to Re: *trigger* Dr MudBucket doesn't 'do' crisis, posted by Phillipa on July 4, 2007, at 10:12:10
> SP didn't you give up a mood stabalizer a while back? And did he change your diagnosis? Maybe another mood stabalizer? I think it great that you are still doing the volunteer work. Cymbalta did nothing first time for me and second couldn't tolerate. Second time it was situational I'm sure new move new doc and what about hormones? Love Phillipa
This doctor did not even bother with a dx - just filled my old prescriptions. And then upped the Ambien and Xanax when I told him I was having a hard time. I hate him. I told him I wanted my dx reevaluated and it was like I never even said anything. Or, as he said, "I'm just the pill guy." What a mess.And gyn doesn't want to mess with my hormone dosages until my periods stop. I even got a 2nd opinion because I was so desperate for *something* to be done, but it's not really appropriate, and I respect that. I'm down to a 2-day menstrual cycle but then (afterwards) have a week of cramps ?? It's so much fun being an old girl. This is worse than the teenage years, minus the migraines and the zits.
sp
Posted by scratchpad on July 4, 2007, at 10:34:43
In reply to Re: *trigger* Dr MudBucket doesn't 'do' crisis » scratchpad, posted by Honore on July 4, 2007, at 9:27:31
I'll try to call today. I hate them for not helping me.
thank you, Honore.
sp
Posted by Phillipa on July 4, 2007, at 10:54:19
In reply to Re: *trigger* Dr MudBucket doesn't 'do' crisis » Honore, posted by scratchpad on July 4, 2007, at 10:34:43
Today is the fourth I don't know about there but most of the docs are on vacation. You know I'm beginning seriously to not like docs at all. And hospitals are now only for imminent suicide not med adjustments anymore. At least not around here. And I know you have good insurance. My neighbor has a great pdoc in Coral Springs she left this morning for a vacation and will see him he mails her her script from there has for almost two years. The greatest doc she says she has ever had we need more like him. Love Phillipa
Posted by stargazer2 on July 4, 2007, at 11:54:10
In reply to *trigger* Dr MudBucket doesn't 'do' crisis, posted by scratchpad on July 4, 2007, at 7:33:05
SP,
I took Cymbalta for only two weeks and got worse so I stopped it and went on something else. When an AD makes you worse it usually is not the right medication for you. I was on 30 mg for 1 week, slept constantly, when increased to 60 mg, got less able to function and get out of bed and that told me the drug was making me much worse than the depression I had before taking it. An AD can often do this and my philosophy is anytime a med makes me worse, i should stop it and get on something else. My doctor agrees with me on this one after many episodes of depression making me suicidal, once the med is stopped i feel better which is a clear sign the med is making me worse.Hope you feel better soon and get a doctor that you can work with.
Stargazer
Posted by Phillipa on July 4, 2007, at 12:00:44
In reply to Re: *trigger* Dr MudBucket doesn't 'do' crisis, posted by stargazer2 on July 4, 2007, at 11:54:10
Stargazer I used to do this on my own all at peri-menopause and menopausal the meds made me feel horrible so I stopped them and immediately felt better. But why would cymbalta be okay one time and then not able to tolerate even 30mg the second time? Love Phillipa
Posted by OzLand on July 4, 2007, at 16:09:11
In reply to Re: *trigger* Dr MudBucket doesn't 'do' crisis » stargazer2, posted by Phillipa on July 4, 2007, at 12:00:44
Bodies change. What works one time may not work later.
Posted by stargazer2 on July 4, 2007, at 16:24:07
In reply to Re: *trigger* Dr MudBucket doesn't 'do' crisis » stargazer2, posted by Phillipa on July 4, 2007, at 12:00:44
Phillipa, perhaps for you the thyroid interference factor. You may have this lack of response the second time around depending on your levels. Just thinking that one of the most significant and unstable factors with your meds. Until the thyroid is under control you response may vary quite a bit.
Stargazer
Posted by Phillipa on July 4, 2007, at 22:09:24
In reply to Re: *trigger* Dr MudBucket doesn't 'do' crisis, posted by stargazer2 on July 4, 2007, at 16:24:07
Stargazer it was stable same levels both times. And this was when the drug first came out first time. Second time a couple of years later so Ozland body changing is logical to me. Love Phillipa
Posted by scratchpad on July 5, 2007, at 8:11:14
In reply to Re: *trigger* Dr MudBucket doesn't 'do' crisis » stargazer2, posted by Phillipa on July 4, 2007, at 22:09:24
> Stargazer it was stable same levels both times. And this was when the drug first came out first time. Second time a couple of years later so Ozland body changing is logical to me. Love Phillipa
PhillipaAnd how does this help me?
thanks
sp
Posted by scratchpad on July 5, 2007, at 12:37:57
In reply to Re: *trigger* Dr MudBucket doesn't 'do' crisis » Honore, posted by scratchpad on July 4, 2007, at 10:34:43
> I'll try to call today. I hate them for not helping me.
> thank you, Honore.
> spHe agreed to up my prescription of Cymbalta to 90mg and asked that I keep my appointment on the 12th to followup. He's calling in a scrip for 30mg to get me up to the dosage.
Honore, thank you for encouraging me to stand my ground with this mess. At least I'll know if more Cymbalta will help (and I hope it will).And now, I am returning to the floor for my afternoon nap.
Scratchpad
Posted by Honore on July 5, 2007, at 13:50:07
In reply to Doctor called me just now, posted by scratchpad on July 5, 2007, at 12:37:57
That's so great, sp! At least you'll know and can move on from there, instead of living in this interminable waiting. Waiting and uncertainty are just awful. Taking action is tough-- but it at least fights back against them. It's just fantastic that he called.
Congratulations!
Honore
Posted by Phillipa on July 5, 2007, at 19:27:07
In reply to Re: *trigger* Dr MudBucket doesn't 'do' crisis » Phillipa, posted by scratchpad on July 5, 2007, at 8:11:14
SP sorry your thread got hyjacked in a way but isn't your body going through changes now too? Could this contribute? But I'm more inclined to suggest another pdoc if this one doesn't work out know you said you had an appointment in about a week. My sincere apologies. Love Phillipa
Posted by Phillipa on July 5, 2007, at 19:33:23
In reply to Re: Doctor called me just now » scratchpad, posted by Honore on July 5, 2007, at 13:50:07
SP I so agree with Honore I know how horrible the waiting is and so glad you got your med adjusted. I wasn't sure if you wanted to go up on it or change. Love Phillipa
Posted by scratchpad on July 6, 2007, at 7:31:07
In reply to Re: Doctor called me just now, posted by Phillipa on July 5, 2007, at 19:33:23
> SP I so agree with Honore I know how horrible the waiting is and so glad you got your med adjusted. I wasn't sure if you wanted to go up on it or change. Love Phillipa
I went up 30mg to 90mg. Note to self: take the extra dosage in the morning - I couldn't unwind enough to sleep!
It worked like a charm. I'm more alert, bright, energetic, and can concentrate better. I hope I don't spin into hypomania, but for now I am happy to renounce my status of house slug.sp
Posted by Phillipa on July 6, 2007, at 19:26:34
In reply to Re: Doctor called me just now » Phillipa, posted by scratchpad on July 6, 2007, at 7:31:07
SP wow so quick. How come it happened so fast? Love Phillipa but happy for you.
Posted by scratchpad on July 7, 2007, at 16:54:31
In reply to Re: Doctor called me just now » scratchpad, posted by Phillipa on July 6, 2007, at 19:26:34
> SP wow so quick. How come it happened so fast? Love Phillipa but happy for you.
Got me, maybe I needed a boost? It was working before my meds got all screwed up.
sp
Posted by scratchpad on July 10, 2007, at 14:02:14
In reply to Re: Doctor called me just now » Phillipa, posted by scratchpad on July 7, 2007, at 16:54:31
> > SP wow so quick. How come it happened so fast? Love Phillipa but happy for you.
>
> Got me, maybe I needed a boost? It was working before my meds got all screwed up.
> sp
>
>The increase in dosage is activating, certainly. Got me up off the floor. Makes me feel caffeinated. But the depression has not been touched at all. Looks like Cymbalta really has pooped out on me, darn it.
I have my original "emergency" appointment on Thursday, but I'm not trusting this doctor to make any major medication adjustments. I will hang on until the end of the month for the new pdoc, with whom I have an intake appointment.
I want to be able to look at the world and see beauty again. Has that ability passed for me?
I'm going quiet for now, don't mind me.
sp
Posted by Phillipa on July 10, 2007, at 20:19:10
In reply to Well, what do you know? It doesn't actually work, posted by scratchpad on July 10, 2007, at 14:02:14
Oh wow I'm so sorry. Love Phillipa
Posted by scratchpad on July 12, 2007, at 8:38:37
In reply to Re: Well, what do you know? It doesn't actually work » scratchpad, posted by Phillipa on July 10, 2007, at 20:19:10
Today is my emergency appointment. I can't imagine how it will go. I present very well, no one can usually tell if I'm in a pickle unless I am crying right there and then, then it's hard not to notice that something is wrong. But I can't even cry right now.
I just feel dead inside. I'll try talking, and see if he listens. If he doesn't, I still have my new pdoc appointment on the 31st.
For now, though, I can't be bothered to cook or eat. Staring at the walls is fine entertainment for me. Too much noise from tv or stereo and I just leave the room anyway.
Slipping backwards very quickly.
sp
This is the end of the thread.
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