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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 14 of 14. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Dysfunk on June 15, 2007, at 17:48:43
I was re-reading my experiences in 2003 with Effexor on this board. I don't think I got any better after all this time. I have had moments of calm, but the depression has never lifted and it has even gotten worse. Granted, I have gone through some very trying times with loss and death. The only time I felt good was on Prozac in 1990, and then it stopped working for me.
I can't find a therapist I click with, and I want to try a psychopharmocologist, but how do I pick one?
I am feeling hopeless and wondering if I should just except this state of being as who I am or keep experimenting with medication?
Feeling very alone.
Anybody ever share these feelings of never thinking you will get better? Any suggestions?
Posted by Justherself54 on June 15, 2007, at 19:54:35
In reply to 4 Years later, still feeling bad, posted by Dysfunk on June 15, 2007, at 17:48:43
Yes..I know..I have been passing the last few years in the same state..I can't seem to find the right "cocktail", or when I do, the anti-depressant poops out on me..the ones I could tolerate did work well, but only for a year or so, then they fizzled out..
I won't accept feeling like this..so I keep trying, over and over, with different meds..hoping to "find the girl who used to be me"..(thank you Patti Austin for that song)
All I can say is keep fighting, if a med is not working, try another, and another..and remember we are all good, decent people, who are victims of genetics and misfiring brain chemicals..we are not failures but fighters..
Posted by Phillipa on June 15, 2007, at 21:22:32
In reply to Re: 4 Years later, still feeling bad, posted by Justherself54 on June 15, 2007, at 19:54:35
I suffered to get on l0mg of paxil for months with lopressor 25mg and xanax and finally felt better drinking beer too. I went off it when my Son who is blind was coming to live with me to make him happy. I also had hypothroidism at the time and only when the thyroid went did I need an antidepressant I was about 40 then. At age 24 first panic attack and benzos and beer I was fine all those years . Med free at times and happy. It was when I went on the antidressants that my life fell apart. I think they do something horrible to your brain I really do.Love Phillipa saw my endo yesterday and he really said if you felt good on benzos and beer do it again. I haven't yet but seriously thinking of it. well it worked and I felt wonderful could work was happy.
Posted by malcolm664 on June 15, 2007, at 22:18:13
In reply to 4 Years later, still feeling bad, posted by Dysfunk on June 15, 2007, at 17:48:43
> I was re-reading my experiences in 2003 with Effexor on this board. I don't think I got any better after all this time. I have had moments of calm, but the depression has never lifted and it has even gotten worse. Granted, I have gone through some very trying times with loss and death. The only time I felt good was on Prozac in 1990, and then it stopped working for me.
>
> I can't find a therapist I click with, and I want to try a psychopharmocologist, but how do I pick one?
>
> I am feeling hopeless and wondering if I should just except this state of being as who I am or keep experimenting with medication?
>
> Feeling very alone.
>
> Anybody ever share these feelings of never thinking you will get better? Any suggestions?I share your pain. I have often wondered if meds will ever be completely effective and the answer is no. They never will be. At least with what we know about how the mind works at this point and time. It's all so damn complicated and subjective.
So the best that we can hope for is a racheting down of one's symptoms to a tolerable level.
But having said that it's not as though I'll ever stop trying to find "the miracle med" which works for me.I realize I just contradicted myself, but that's the truth.
Malcolm
Posted by Jedi on June 16, 2007, at 0:20:04
In reply to Re: 4 Years later, still feeling bad » Justherself54, posted by Phillipa on June 15, 2007, at 21:22:32
Phillipa,
I'm seriously considering the same thing. Clonazepam is too hard to come off fast or it could go too. Maybe just a benzo and a couple of shots of whiskey and skip the rest of it for a few months. I've been doing the MAOI thing with other trials mixed in for more than ten years. I'm relativly stable right now and know that phenelzine(Nardil) will work again if I need it. I was successful, though dysthymic, before the major depression hit. I see my MD in a week and I've been off most everything for a week already. I'll hash it out with him, but maybe it's time to let the brain clear out for a while.
Take care,
Jedi
> I suffered to get on l0mg of paxil for months with lopressor 25mg and xanax and finally felt better drinking beer too. I went off it when my Son who is blind was coming to live with me to make him happy. I also had hypothroidism at the time and only when the thyroid went did I need an antidepressant I was about 40 then. At age 24 first panic attack and benzos and beer I was fine all those years . Med free at times and happy. It was when I went on the antidressants that my life fell apart. I think they do something horrible to your brain I really do.Love Phillipa saw my endo yesterday and he really said if you felt good on benzos and beer do it again. I haven't yet but seriously thinking of it. well it worked and I felt wonderful could work was happy.
Posted by Dysfunk on June 16, 2007, at 15:41:55
In reply to Re: 4 Years later, still feeling bad » Phillipa, posted by Jedi on June 16, 2007, at 0:20:04
Thanks all for responding to my message. I will keep trying and hope that they someday invent the perfect cocktail for my brain chemistry.
Best to all-
Dysfunk
Posted by Phillipa on June 16, 2007, at 18:54:25
In reply to Re: 4 Years later, still feeling bad » Phillipa, posted by Jedi on June 16, 2007, at 0:20:04
Jedi the times I felt the best were when they didn't know that benzos and alchohol shouldn't be mixed respiratory depression they say but for over 20 years I drank with the benzos and felt relief of anxiety. Funny been completely dry and I'm afraid of alchohol now. ll years of dryness. I also used to fall asleep immediately after drinking which always was after working 3-ll so my way of relaxing. Now it's a book and waiting for meds to kick in. And who's to say that they meds aren't doing more damage to our livers than alchohol would. Love Phillipa
Posted by Jedi on June 16, 2007, at 20:52:42
In reply to Re: 4 Years later, still feeling bad » Jedi, posted by Phillipa on June 16, 2007, at 18:54:25
> Jedi the times I felt the best were when they didn't know that benzos and alchohol shouldn't be mixed respiratory depression they say but for over 20 years I drank with the benzos and felt relief of anxiety. Funny been completely dry and I'm afraid of alchohol now. ll years of dryness. I also used to fall asleep immediately after drinking which always was after working 3-ll so my way of relaxing. Now it's a book and waiting for meds to kick in. And who's to say that they meds aren't doing more damage to our livers than alchohol would. Love Phillipa
Phillipa,
I think it's been proven that a couple of drinks are positive for your health. Maybe a little less for women. The trouble is when a couple of drinks leads to more and alcoholism. It is one of the most destructive drugs when abused. I've seen some pretty nasty things happen with people on alcohol, I'm sure you have too. I was a problem drinker when I was young but not an alcoholic. I don't have an addictive personality, though I'm sure it would take a while to come off clonazepam at this point. Not to give someone the wrong idea, but mixing a small dosage of benzos with a couple of drinks is not going to kill you. It may intensify the effect of both drugs, but to a small degree. Again, everyone is different, and to a naive user the effects could be substantial.
Wishing you better health,
Jedi
Posted by Phillipa on June 16, 2007, at 21:37:49
In reply to Re: 4 Years later, still feeling bad » Phillipa, posted by Jedi on June 16, 2007, at 20:52:42
Jedi hence why I've remained dry as I drank about 4-6 beers nightly with .5 xanax all I ever needed. You know I lost my sense of smell and taste three years ago any idea why? As the thought of a corona with lime and not tasting it is devastating to me. Thanks, Love Phillipa
Posted by Jedi on June 16, 2007, at 23:31:38
In reply to Re: 4 Years later, still feeling bad » Jedi, posted by Phillipa on June 16, 2007, at 21:37:49
> Jedi hence why I've remained dry as I drank about 4-6 beers nightly with .5 xanax all I ever needed. You know I lost my sense of smell and taste three years ago any idea why? As the thought of a corona with lime and not tasting it is devastating to me. Thanks, Love Phillipa
Hi again,
The sense of taste and smell are highly related. I could have no way of knowing how yours would be lost. It must be a very bad feeling. This search page off Medline Plus will at least give you some more information on the problem.
Take care,
Jedi
Posted by Phillipa on June 17, 2007, at 20:14:35
In reply to Re: 4 Years later, still feeling bad » Phillipa, posted by Jedi on June 16, 2007, at 23:31:38
Jedi thanks the only thing that applies to me is the getting older. Any older posters out there have the same thing? love Phillipa
Posted by missjulie on June 19, 2007, at 22:20:11
In reply to 4 Years later, still feeling bad, posted by Dysfunk on June 15, 2007, at 17:48:43
I totally share your feelings... I too was on Prozac in the early 90s and was happy and normal for an entire year. I mean, I was CURED. It was miraculous. Then it pooped out on me and I have never found anything to even come close despite years of trying and many doctors. I think the worst is that when you say, Prozac worked GREAT then it stopped, the doctor will say something like, Yes, that happens sometime. Or, I've heard of that happening. Very casually, like it's no big deal when it truly is a TRAGEDY.
Can't tell you how much I relate to this. I have not given up because I know my problems can be fixed by proper medication due to that one year -- though I have gone years at a time without trying and figured I just had to live with it. Then it gets too much and I try again.
Right now trying Parnate, sort of a last resort... can't say it's going well, but it's only been a week.
Just wanted to tell you I really share your pain in this regard.
Have spent 15 years looking for the answer.
Sincerely - Julie
Posted by surviving on June 21, 2007, at 19:08:19
In reply to Re: 4 Years later, still feeling bad, posted by Justherself54 on June 15, 2007, at 19:54:35
This is my first time on this site. Don't even know how I found it. Just wanted to thank you for the encouraging words you gave on your post.
After surviving cancer 6 yrs. ago, the aftermath almost did me in. I went from an outgoing, social, energetic mother & pastor's wife to a reclusive shut-in. Having never been on meds before, finding a good doc was challenging. He put me on 6 ml Xanax daily, 150 ml Wellbutrin XL, and Remeron. It took that to bring me back from wherever I had gone.
I watched an old family video 2 nights ago and wondered who that person was who looked like me...I don't know her anymore. I have 2 wonderful daughters who still need me around and a good husband who would be better off without the stress of my condition. I just want to be myself again...happy and involved in helping people. But i don't know how to get there.
I tried several meds at the beginning without success. My life today is just surviving and crying in secret so my children don't see.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Posted by twinleaf on June 22, 2007, at 1:20:50
In reply to Re: 4 Years later, still feeling bad, posted by surviving on June 21, 2007, at 19:08:19
I'm so sorry you had to go through such a severe ordeal. Perhaps you have a PTSD-like situation as a result of it. It sounds like you have found a pretty good med combination- are you in therapy also? That can really help a lot in overcoming trauma.
This is the end of the thread.
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