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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 18 of 18. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by englishman006! on March 26, 2007, at 17:06:03
Anyone here come off their meds and felt a whole lot better for it - at least once they'd gotten passed the withdrawal stage??
Posted by linkadge on March 26, 2007, at 19:03:59
In reply to Anyone here felt better after coming off all meds?, posted by englishman006! on March 26, 2007, at 17:06:03
Short answer yes.
Linkadge
Posted by Phillipa on March 26, 2007, at 22:01:48
In reply to Re: Anyone here felt better after coming off all meds?, posted by linkadge on March 26, 2007, at 19:03:59
Link so there's a light at the end of the tunnel? How long after? love Phillipa
Posted by FredPotter on March 26, 2007, at 23:06:34
In reply to Re: Anyone here felt better after coming off all meds? » linkadge, posted by Phillipa on March 26, 2007, at 22:01:48
There's light at the end of the tunnel. How long after the end? This is where the tunnel analogy breaks down.
Seriously, it could be like the pulsing used by some pdocs. I had one who told me to pulse Zyprexa on and off. The brain habituates so stop. After a while (how long?) start again. I think perhaps the brain just needs a jolt sometimes, or perhaps coming off drugs does a factory reset
Fred
Posted by stargazer on March 26, 2007, at 23:50:01
In reply to Anyone here felt better after coming off all meds?, posted by englishman006! on March 26, 2007, at 17:06:03
Yes, but then depression returned about 2-3 months later. Depression always returns and never leaves for good. It sounds like what adult children are doing today, they always come back home since it is easier than being on their own.
I digress.
Posted by Jedi on March 27, 2007, at 0:08:46
In reply to Anyone here felt better after coming off all meds?, posted by englishman006! on March 26, 2007, at 17:06:03
> Anyone here come off their meds and felt a whole lot better for it - at least once they'd gotten passed the withdrawal stage??
Hi,
I had my first major depression about 10 years ago. 25 years of dysthymia and social anxiety before that. MAOIs-Nardil, now Parnate with clonazepam are the only medications that have helped my treatment resistent atypical depression and social anxiety. I've been completely off meds a couple of times for several months. The major depression has always returned. I'm a lifer, there are worse things I guess.
Take care,
Jedi
Posted by Tom Twilight on March 27, 2007, at 6:24:06
In reply to Anyone here felt better after coming off all meds?, posted by englishman006! on March 26, 2007, at 17:06:03
I'd be careful coming of meds if their helping
I discontinued Effexor & Remeron a few years ago, because I felt so much better, I thought I was cured!
Sadly Anxiety came Roaring back as soon as I was off.
Posted by linkadge on March 27, 2007, at 7:09:35
In reply to Re: Anyone here felt better after coming off all meds?, posted by Tom Twilight on March 27, 2007, at 6:24:06
If meds are working well for you then perhaps you won't feel better off them.
For me, I felt like crap on meds, I felt like crap off meds, but at least off meds I had more of my faculties.
Depression or no depression, meds made me dumb, and that made work harder and take longer, which made me more stressed and more depressed.
Every situation is uniuqe of course.
While I am not cured about some aspects, I certainly feel a lot more confident in my ability to to my work.
Linkadge
Posted by Meri-Tuuli on March 27, 2007, at 8:03:47
In reply to Re: Anyone here felt better after coming off all meds?, posted by linkadge on March 27, 2007, at 7:09:35
Yeah its a tricky one- the meds made me feel worse, but then, off meds I'm not particulary better.
But then again, at least off meds I'm able to enjoy some things to some degree and I can actually feel those rare moments of happiness and relaxation. And I have motivation and I can control my weight better - which makes me feel good. On meds, I didn't function too good but I was numb and anxiety free - now I'm generally happier with my situation, but I'm anxiety ridden.
Plus its allowing me to work on stuff in therapy - with meds I think there is a danger to ignore stuff because you're numbed up. I'm hoping I'm working at the root cause of my problems.
Posted by Sebastian on March 27, 2007, at 15:01:41
In reply to Anyone here felt better after coming off all meds?, posted by englishman006! on March 26, 2007, at 17:06:03
Thats why I take semi-med holidays
Posted by englishman006! on March 27, 2007, at 19:04:21
In reply to Re: Anyone here felt better after coming off all meds? » linkadge, posted by Phillipa on March 26, 2007, at 22:01:48
My story is long but i'll keep it sweet! Got ill at 17. Did a reading at church as had on many occassions but this time went to pieces? Then obsessed about how i performed infront smaller and smaller audiences until one on one filled me with dread. Then belts of depression and last but not least panic attacks for 2 years. Couldn't perform at work - always fearing i'd be sacked, i was hopeless.. After suicidal thoughts i asked to go on prozac which felt like the difference between night and day! Soon though i realised although less anxious/ depressed i had no chat. No humour. Did win staff member of the year at work though! Spent alot of time alone watching movies, no socialising. Stayed on prozac for 10 years and only when i switched to nardil did i realize i had a personality and a sense of humour..
Nardil pooped out after 8/9 months then broke leg and was off work for 8 months. Went for a spect scan and was dianosed ADD (passive)had to come off meds for scan.. after nasty withdrawal seemed to feel an inner peace i'd never known. Against recommendation stayed off meds. Social phobia lifted only depression lingered for about 3/4 weeks more but didn't want to disturb my new found social confidence so no meds! All my emotions became exagerated, crying doing the washing up?? Wetting myself laughing at things i found funny, sobbing during mildly sad movies, crying buckets infront my psychologist etc. I figured this was all a result of a life time on meds which numbed and supressed my emotions and now the lid was off.
The next 6 months were the best in my life, made lots of friends - one with a phd in philosophy -we had really deep and interesting conversations about life and the grey areas of existence etc. I never had friends before and i was so proud to be mixing and with really intelligent people. I enrolled on courses, human biology etc and got 2nd highest marks in class, man i was alive. I hated the thought of returning to my old job which i no longer felt motivated to do (Mechanic). Wanted to fulfill a childhood ambition to go into the police!
After 8 months it was time to return to work -boring.. I was suprised to find i got stressed and anxious doing something i'd done for the last 17 years! I was always on an antidepressant before and never got stressed doing my job! After 2 weeks of stressing about everything i decided to try a little bit of an ssri to take the edge off. Dr gave me celexa.. 2 days later wham! social anxiety back with avengence, withdrawn more anxious, depressed, couldn't get passed my front door. Housebound frightened, gutted. Took myself to 3 different hospitals to be admitted as could not cope or feed myself. No one would admit me because i wasn't self harming.. I was in the most darkest space without hope.
Soon i would be homeless, could not pay rent and i had no family in Australia. I had no idea the ssri was causing my worst breakdown ever.. I was allocated a psychiatrist (Hitler incarnate) he just raised the dose despite my pleading with him that it wouldn't get me where i wanted to be. At most if it finally kicked in i would be back to that no friends, staying in watching videos hermit. I'd rather be dead..
Enough for now, will finish story later, thanks.
Shaun.
Posted by Phillipa on March 27, 2007, at 19:40:25
In reply to My story -off meds!! (very long), posted by englishman006! on March 27, 2007, at 19:04:21
Englishman please please finish you story now???? I need to hear that something good can happen going off antideprssants I'm crying now and so hoopeless, confused,. Love Phillipa
Posted by Joe Bloe on March 27, 2007, at 20:51:52
In reply to My story -off meds!! (very long), posted by englishman006! on March 27, 2007, at 19:04:21
Posted by englishman006! on March 28, 2007, at 5:08:38
In reply to My story -off meds!! (very long), posted by englishman006! on March 27, 2007, at 19:04:21
Sorry guys got tired, am a slow typist!
Well back to my story...
I waited and waited for the ssri to kick in which had now been changed to Aropax (Paxil). It had been one and a half months, still no sign of an improvement! I spent much of my time calling emergency help lines just to keep going. They kept telling me i could present myself to the ER which always resulted in "sorry the psychiatrist will not see you and we can't admit you as no beds unless your going to do yourself some harm.. give the meds some more time , your better off at home". etc.
My sister was over backpacking in the eatern states (over side of the country) I didn't want her to see me in this state (excuse the pun!) but needed help so badly. When i told the psychiatrist i was thinking of asking her to stay in Australia and fly over to Perth to look after me, he said "your not her responsibility, it would be pretty selfish".My private health insurance was only a couple of weeks from maturing, then i could stay at a private hospital, thank god. By that time i was on dex which would give me half an relief followed by 2 hrs of severe rebound anxiety and depression or if i used it regularly wouldn't even do that, but it gave me a glimpse of wellness and patchy but profound relief.
I finally got to hospital where my the Pdoc added Luvox for my anxiety and seroquel for sleep, which amazingly i wasn't have a problem with, infact i prayed for bedtime! It had me squirming with restless legs which even effected me right up to my stomach. Probably because of dopamine blockade. (RLS is caused by a dopamine defiency).
My Pdoc would visit me each morning EARLY! He hadn't seen me well so had no base line to compare. I could not express myself, everything came out wrong, i thought this guy must think i pretty dumb, after all he could only go by what he saw. I resorted to writing letters each morning just to be understood and show there was an intelligent person buried deep inside.
My therapist was young and really attractive and i got so fed up with making a fool of myself, i was so awkward, shy, couldn't hold my face right etc, i started refusing to go to class. It felt like Planet Of The Apes, the psychiatrists were the apes, and i was Charlton Heston. They treated me like i was a dumb animal cos i had lost my voice and couldn't show them any sign of intelligence... Wait until i get my voice back i thought, then they'll see.
I'd searched psycho-babble obsessively in an effort to find a way out of this hole, althougth i never chimed in. I kept going back to a post written by AndrewB (now a very close friend of mine). He talked about memantine and reversal of tolerance to dexamphetamine. The relief i was experiencing for the half hour it worked made me strong, whitty and confident ..could memantine make it last??? I printed off his information and pesented it to my Pdoc. He'd never heard of it but was open enough to say okay i want to try a few other things first but if they don't work we'll give memantine a trial!!
Thank god he wasn't a narcissist who thought he knew best and wasn't about to to take ideas from a patient. Especially since it was regarding some obscure drug indicated for alzheimers!
I have to go to work now : / but it does have a happy ending, i promise and i'm sorry for yesterday if i upset you Phillipa x
Posted by englishman006! on March 28, 2007, at 18:14:45
In reply to Re: My story -off meds!! (very long), posted by englishman006! on March 28, 2007, at 5:08:38
It's difficult to describe how it feels not being able to communicate.. Usually, and this is just my theory, your mind works at a speed where you are able to choose your words ahead of yourself, almost like being able to edit what you're going to say. There are options available so you can select the best way to describe things. It seemed my brain wasn't up to speed and i could only snatch at words as they came. There's articulate, in-articulate and then there was me!! Anyway i digress.
My Pdoc, having exhausted his options without witnessing any significant improvement ordered the Memantine.. I remember i was sat on the toilet dreamily staring into space, having not long taken my dex & memantine combo, when something came over me.. an easiness, i felt centred, calm, a feeling that i was going to enjoy being in class that day. I was going to sit there composed and relaxed (infront of the beautiful Carrie) and express myself clearly and without effort. And i did!! Infact i almost had to play it down. The differnce was striking, "i'm back!" I couldn't have looked shy if i wanted to. I could act shy but there's a big difference between a confident person acting shy and a shy person trying to act confident.
I remember going for a walk not long after with tears rolling down my face. I was crying for the little boy who had just been on that journey, a journey through hell. I thought about what had happened to me from begining to end. I could no longer dam up the tears. My protective shield came down and i cried uncontrollably. I wasn't that little boy anymore, but i wept for him. God he hadn't deserved to go through that..
nobody deserved to go through that...
Posted by Phillipa on March 28, 2007, at 19:17:16
In reply to Re: My story -off meds - continued!, posted by englishman006! on March 28, 2007, at 18:14:45
So Englishman you are on meds? Love Phillipa
Posted by englishman006! on March 28, 2007, at 19:41:33
In reply to Re: My story -off meds - continued! » englishman006!, posted by Phillipa on March 28, 2007, at 19:17:16
For now yes but i demand alot of myself ie i want to join the Police Force. If i chose a less stressful life style i could maybe do without them, as i did for that 6 months, who knows! x
Posted by DStupid on March 30, 2007, at 19:34:24
In reply to Re: My story -off meds - continued! » Phillipa, posted by englishman006! on March 28, 2007, at 19:41:33
Beautiful story. I particularly like this part about the little boy who used to be inside the big man:
"I was crying for the little boy who had just been on that journey, a journey through hell. I thought about what had happened to me from begining to end. I could no longer dam up the tears. My protective shield came down and i cried uncontrollably. I wasn't that little boy anymore, but i wept for him. God he hadn't deserved to go through that.. nobody deserved to go through that..."
I had a similar insight a few days ago, although it wasn't so expressive and I didn't cry.
This is the end of the thread.
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