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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 17 of 17. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by corafree on January 30, 2007, at 19:57:54
NO one cares. I have no support.
Same symptoms bulding up past few wks as did b4 the NB. U guys know that did weird stuff to me don't you.
U know how you wrap a rubber band around something or a hair tie around hair, ... I can't do it anymore ... my mind can't figure which way to go.
And I was a med transcriptionist many years and have forgotten a lot proper terminology and its spelling.
Damage wasdone in my brain when I had that NB. I still don't even know what. No one ever told me.
I'm too ill to read search. I've searched b4 and it's such a broad, general term, that I can't find the right one.
Mine began very physically, then had pressure ontop of head if ....
My doc isn't sklled to treat me properly. I just know it. He would never say such a thng as 'titrate u down and off Valium'.
NO family, no visitor all day. Child kept my debit card and I can't go get food. She yelled @ me because I couldn't go to her daycare and p/u child.
Children ignorant, physicians ignorant. I'm not going to be here sometime ... I justknow it. No one cares about me. I'm one of those peeps on the street.
The pacifism that gen x has w/ this war makes me ill. Wake up!!!
reallysick, cf
Posted by Phillipa on January 30, 2007, at 20:41:14
In reply to Too sick; gonna have NB and dead mind, posted by corafree on January 30, 2007, at 19:57:54
Nervous breakdown is an old term. When you can take no more I think. As I've said I don't understand why your pdoc is weaning you off the valium at this point. I will google that term and e-mail it to you. Love Phillipa
Posted by shadowplayers721 on January 31, 2007, at 0:25:25
In reply to Too sick; gonna have NB and dead mind, posted by corafree on January 30, 2007, at 19:57:54
I know that I had one. You've got to protect yourself. I was in a state where I could hardly take a bath and put food to my mouth. I couldn't talk right either. Can you get into a hospital? I had too when I was no longer able to care for my basic needs. You have to protect yourself like an infant. It is most important for you to care about you. We care.
Posted by ronaldo on January 31, 2007, at 3:58:35
In reply to Too sick; gonna have NB and dead mind, posted by corafree on January 30, 2007, at 19:57:54
Be strong Cora, be calm.
We all care about you.
Don't be afraid of a NB maybe a NB is a way of the mind healing itself,even if it does take time.
Maybe you won't have one anyway.
Sometimes it helps if you just keep still for a while and don't worry about anything.
I care about you Cora. Here's a hug:
(((((((Corafree)))))))))
Look after yourself. Take care. Be patient and kind with yourself. Whatever happens you are going to get well again.
If you are in the UK can you get any help from the Social Services? They're only a phone call away. Can't find the number but try phoning the Samaritans on 0845 7909090. They may be able to put you in touch with the right people. Maybe just having a chat with them will make you feel better. If you are in the USA surely they have some sort of similar system? Get some help, NOW!
ronaldo
> NO one cares. I have no support.
>
> Same symptoms bulding up past few wks as did b4 the NB. U guys know that did weird stuff to me don't you.
>
> U know how you wrap a rubber band around something or a hair tie around hair, ... I can't do it anymore ... my mind can't figure which way to go.
>
> And I was a med transcriptionist many years and have forgotten a lot proper terminology and its spelling.
>
> Damage wasdone in my brain when I had that NB. I still don't even know what. No one ever told me.
>
> I'm too ill to read search. I've searched b4 and it's such a broad, general term, that I can't find the right one.
>
> Mine began very physically, then had pressure ontop of head if ....
>
> My doc isn't sklled to treat me properly. I just know it. He would never say such a thng as 'titrate u down and off Valium'.
>
> NO family, no visitor all day. Child kept my debit card and I can't go get food. She yelled @ me because I couldn't go to her daycare and p/u child.
>
> Children ignorant, physicians ignorant. I'm not going to be here sometime ... I justknow it. No one cares about me. I'm one of those peeps on the street.
>
> The pacifism that gen x has w/ this war makes me ill. Wake up!!!
>
> reallysick, cf
Posted by corafree on January 31, 2007, at 7:27:55
In reply to Re: Too sick; gonna have NB and dead mind, posted by shadowplayers721 on January 31, 2007, at 0:25:25
Okay .. You did have one SPs ... Just like me.
Tell me please, because no one ever told me anything and no one even really knows how we almost faded away to probable insanity ...
R we at risk 4 more after having had one?
Did u suffer any perm. damage, any little thing?
RU receiving proper followup treatment?
RU receiving maintenance anti-anxiety med?The hospitals are full re: suicidal ideation or attempts. U have to be suicidal to get in.
No one seems to believe saying 'you're feeling you're having another NB' means anything other than 'you're just wiggin' out for a bit'.
There's so much ignorance. I've grown tired of trying to convince them how very serious this is.
I tried elicit help early on. But, .. everyone was too busy, or said I was trying to get attention, or helping me would be to enable me, and some haven't even responded.
So now, these past few days, I've grown 'very bitterly angry w/ their complacency and pacifity' 2 see my life be so endangered.
I'm feeling completely unloved and not worth receiving proper help and care, and also feelin' maybe I've had about enough of this pain/life.
I live and give and love, but when I ask 'can I please have some too? I hear 'no don't bother us'.
SPLAYERS respond please.
cf
Posted by corafree on January 31, 2007, at 7:45:27
In reply to Re: Too sick; gonna have NB and dead mind » corafree, posted by ronaldo on January 31, 2007, at 3:58:35
I'd have to say I'm suicidal. I'm not gonna' do that again. It's a trick to get hospitalized. More important to me; I won't be treated for the proper illness.
The tx I got when had the one, was very pro-active on my part. Damn it was hard. It was an all suicide ward and the two docs looked and laughed when I said 'nervous breakdown'. It was me who kept banging on closed sliding windows, demanding healthy food, requesting expedience w/ medication. No one knew what they were doing. They just thought I was some crazy old lady. I was unable to walk fast or carry myself and looked old. I couldn't stand up straight. I was sallow and weak. They thought I was just an old burnt out junkie or somethin' I guess.
Back 2 now, I've told my doctor and my caseworker and my therapist and they don't think it means sh*t I guess; I mean I've told them I'm feelin' like same as onset of NB had 2yrs back.
I'm getting too tired to keep asking 4 their help now, and am feelin' angry w/ their tunnel vision.
tksR, cf
Posted by shadowplayers721 on January 31, 2007, at 8:47:32
In reply to Re: Too sick; gonna have NB and dead mind » shadowplayers721, posted by corafree on January 31, 2007, at 7:27:55
My feeling is yes that I am more at risk for another one. I feel more vulnerable to it. I feel like an egg that broke. I am not the same. I can't totally explain it, but I am not the same. I am more vulnerable to being brittle depressing and anxiety.
In regards to tx, I have had to keep on with finding a good psychiatrist. My psychiatrist had gotten overwhelmed and dropped her private practice without notice. It was very difficult. Word of mouth is how I found my new doc. This was after a terrible experience with a community doc. I am on medications now - cymbalta, lexapro, klonopin (as needed), topamax, and rozerom (sp?)
Yes, I know what you mean. You don't have to be suicidal to be disabled. It's like you are shutting down - can't read, concentrate, watch tv or even hold a conversation. I live very isolated right now, but it's sort of protective too. I look okay, but I am not 100%. People can't get passed if you make sense and look human - you must be functional. It's not the case. I do the best I can. I don't ask much of myself anymore.
Posted by corafree on January 31, 2007, at 9:39:09
In reply to Re: Too sick; gonna have NB and dead mind, posted by shadowplayers721 on January 31, 2007, at 8:47:32
Thank you first of all.
I thought too I was less able to handle as many stressors in my life. But that didn't keep all the people in my family from still having the same expectations of me. They also just did 'not believe it'. They thought it was just a stay in mental health. I wish someone (a physician preferably) would have explained this to them.
I am constantly, over and over, trying to explain, I cannot do some things. The family takes this as simply a choice I make because I am selfish. When I ask for help w/ a project or with anything, they see it as enabling me if they help me.
Posted by corafree on January 31, 2007, at 10:30:42
In reply to Re: Too sick; gonna have NB and dead mind, posted by corafree on January 31, 2007, at 9:39:09
I was just now interrupted by one of my family members.
My son came to return my bank card. I'd given it to another of my children to use Sat or Sun and she just didn't bring it right back.
I was going to see my case manager and now cannot.
They, and my fam' of origin treat me as if I chose 'not to be all that I should be and would still love to be', and now it feels like I'm just their doormat.
He said my daughter took my car.
I needed it today, to see my caseworker, to p/u medication, and 'get my hair done by someone else because I can't hold my arms up for a long time'. Why the latter? Because I was abused and my c-spine injured.
They think it is my choice to ..........
I'm a doormat or a stone to kick to the side of your path.
Why go on when all whom you've loved have no empathy at all for your physical and emotional tragedies?
Oh how I envy those who have injuries others can 'see'.
Just a couple days ago I was reminded by my mother, again, like many others in my family; the injury is my fault because I stayed too long.
brokenpissed, cf
Posted by ClearSkies on January 31, 2007, at 11:11:42
In reply to Re: Too sick; gonna have NB and dead mind, posted by corafree on January 31, 2007, at 10:30:42
There are times when I am grateful that my family lives far from me. As much as I want their understanding and compassion, they aren't always able to give it to me.
I'm sorry you're having such a bad time, Corafree. Please take care.
CS
Posted by shadowplayers721 on February 1, 2007, at 1:51:37
In reply to Re: Too sick; gonna have NB and dead mind, posted by corafree on January 31, 2007, at 10:30:42
A lot of times, when we are down, that's when others think it's time to walk on us or even demand more of us.
I am glad you are posting - you totally have support here. I totally understand. I believe in many cases - the ones that are called the "closest" seem to be the deafest and blindest to our true needs.
Posted by corafree on February 1, 2007, at 13:50:34
In reply to Re: Too sick; gonna have NB and dead mind, posted by shadowplayers721 on February 1, 2007, at 1:51:37
2day can't walk out front door.
Called other insurance re: no med for increased anxiety over a month.
They spoke w/ county.
County P called. RU suicidal? I said well 'do I have to be?' and he said 'oh no' as in 'oh no you can't do or just say that', then spoke of anti-psychotics. Butt, I'm not psychotic. I'm broken because I didn't get relief this past month or more for my horrible anxiety.
No one seems to want to let me go in the hospital unless I want to kill myself.
I just want to be put in a hospital and be cared for now that the damage has been done. Need repair.
cf
cf
Posted by corafree on February 1, 2007, at 14:01:11
In reply to THORAZINE -OR HALDOL????? CORAFREE, posted by corafree on February 1, 2007, at 13:50:34
Divert attn pls, per my permission anyone who knows J -or- P.
cf
Posted by Shadowplayers721 on February 1, 2007, at 20:02:20
In reply to THORAZINE -OR HALDOL????? CORAFREE, posted by corafree on February 1, 2007, at 13:50:34
Maybe just klonopin. It helps wonders when I was in the hospital.
Posted by Shadowplayers721 on February 1, 2007, at 20:06:43
In reply to THORAZINE -OR HALDOL????? CORAFREE, posted by corafree on February 1, 2007, at 13:50:34
I know a man who has terrible PTSD from the war. He goes into total paralysis at times - can't speak, walk, talk, etc. The doc just gives him Librium. It's a weak benzo.
Posted by ronaldo on February 4, 2007, at 2:28:31
In reply to THORAZINE -OR HALDOL????? CORAFREE, posted by corafree on February 1, 2007, at 13:50:34
How are you cf? Has anything been sorted for you?
Or are you still at home? Try to chill out but I know how impossibly difficult things are for you right now. Be strong.ronaldo
Posted by Phillipa on February 4, 2007, at 17:44:11
In reply to Are you coping Corafree? Are you surviving OK? » corafree, posted by ronaldo on February 4, 2007, at 2:28:31
Ronaldo she's not answering e-mails either. Wonder if she went to the hospital? Love Phillipa
This is the end of the thread.
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