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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 8 of 8. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by snapper on May 20, 2006, at 3:22:32
God...Da**mn this illness. It sabbotages most every aspect of your your life! I Feel I am beyond trying new med combos's and different modalities of treatment. I am so sorry to be so negative , melancholic , and morose. I have tried most every thing out there !! Ect (2 x) Second time, I was to anxious to tolerate the procedure! I have done the meds, I have done the counseling, I have done the meds and med combos, and at times, I feel like there is nothing left. I am sooooooo sorry to be so negative. I do wish I could drink away this misery. The only reason I am writing this to you all is because I feel that a good deal of you will understand. I try. My truest ally is a fair amount of alcohol and a good sleep. I know. Please do not lecture me on the woes or otherwise of alcohol and or alcohol and or meds. At this point I am not doing heavy meds and booze . I am sad. I feel Like alcohol is a small part of my previous life of " half normalcy".... I am on SSI and wish I could come back from this oblivion of mental brain "fuc*&ag%" I almost instinctively know it to be a cruel joke. Yes... I know... They say there is always something ne around the corner. However, let me pose these questions......1 How can one find hope in the fact that MAOI's are best suited for my atypical and re-fractory type of depression and I can't tolerate Nardil---and Parnate "Pooped " out on me in 1993---plus other very Negative mitigative factors offer me any hope of hope? 55 to 60 Meds .... be of much solace? Must I live this present life out in a shadow of mere existence of BP II? Atyp plus SP and OCD and De-realization and Nihlism/anhedonia for all of life? I don't know . I have seen some of the "best" Pdocs and therapists and others in hope of a small semblence of a " normal life" I am liveing just to live" What good is that. I am sorry ...so sorry for the post of such negativity" and worthlessness" I just had to tell someone!
Thanks for reading , listening, and any responces are greatly appreciated
snapper
Posted by Glydin on May 20, 2006, at 6:55:56
In reply to Depression - Anxiety Bipolar Illness, posted by snapper on May 20, 2006, at 3:22:32
Hi snapper,
I wish I had some wonderful pearl of wisdom or enlightening insightful something to say, but I don't. So, I'll just I'm sorry for your struggles and I'm really sorry it's been going on for the time it's been going on. I'm accused of being pollyannaesque at times, but I do have to believe we must TRY and maintain some hope above and beyond what appears to be the hopeless. Life is much, much harder for us mental health folks and (as a friend of mine recently noted) we should get awards for just enduring.
Take care of you....
Posted by SLS on May 20, 2006, at 8:39:38
In reply to Depression - Anxiety Bipolar Illness, posted by snapper on May 20, 2006, at 3:22:32
Hi Snapper.
I'm in a pretty bad place right now. I began to respond well to Wellbutrin only to see it fizzle out within a few weeks. Ignorence is bliss. I almost wish that I hadn't responded at all. With responding, I gained more insight into exactly how severe and debilitating my depression is. I am now less able to remain positive and constructive and vigilent. I am much less hopeful that I will ever attain remission.
One thing that jumped out at me in your description was the possibility that Emsam might be helpful to you. Have you considered it? What about using Trileptal or Keppra as mood stabilizers? I'm guessing that you have already tried Lamictal.
- Scott
Posted by Phillipa on May 20, 2006, at 11:44:39
In reply to Re: Depression - Anxiety Bipolar Illness » snapper, posted by SLS on May 20, 2006, at 8:39:38
Scott I've been E-mailing with a lot of the EMSAM people and since their first weeks things are starting to sound bleak. I was thinking about trying it next week but I don't think I will now. As problems are not starting for them too. Hopefully they will see this get mad at me and say the oposite. Scott please remain hopeful. Love Jan
Posted by heaven help me on May 20, 2006, at 12:49:18
In reply to Depression - Anxiety Bipolar Illness, posted by snapper on May 20, 2006, at 3:22:32
HI-I'm BP2, anxious, depressed as well. It's been a 5 year battle so far. I have 5 small children at home full-time and sometimes I just think I will bang my head against the wall until it stops working! I've been on the med roller coaster for the last 4 years. I'm a narcoleptic insomniac (my joke) and unable to sleep at night (imagine the days with my loved ones) and I can fall asleep without a moments notice while sitting in a chair. I could go on and on with the list of sh*t. But here's what I have to say if you'll listen. I would be DEAD by now if it wasn't for the fact that in the midst of all this anxiety, affliction, perplextion, persecution and daily dying I didn't have a relationship with Christ. While all the meds, Dr.s, therapy, alternative trials, etc. take me PART of the way, HE takes me the rest and I am alive and I am hopeful and I am experiencing joy in the midst of all this crap.
Posted by heaven help me on May 20, 2006, at 12:51:54
In reply to Re: Depression - Anxiety Bipolar Illness, posted by heaven help me on May 20, 2006, at 12:49:18
PS: this board is truely a God send for me. You guys have empathy that does not exist elsewhere, you guys listen and don't think I am out of my mind, you guys respond beacause you really DO CARE and you guys make me laugh.
I love you!
Mary
Posted by snapper on May 20, 2006, at 15:43:09
In reply to Re: Depression - Anxiety Bipolar Illness » snapper, posted by SLS on May 20, 2006, at 8:39:38
> Hi Snapper.
>
> I'm in a pretty bad place right now. I began to respond well to Wellbutrin only to see it fizzle out within a few weeks. Ignorence is bliss. I almost wish that I hadn't responded at all. With responding, I gained more insight into exactly how severe and debilitating my depression is. I am now less able to remain positive and constructive and vigilent. I am much less hopeful that I will ever attain remission.
>
> One thing that jumped out at me in your description was the possibility that Emsam might be helpful to you. Have you considered it? What about using Trileptal or Keppra as mood stabilizers? I'm guessing that you have already tried Lamictal.
>
>
> - ScottHi Scott, I am sorry to hear of your wellbutrin failure. I appreciate all who have responded thus far. I know I am not alone. I am on Tri-leptal but have not been on or even offered Keppra or Emsam. This whole thing is very , very frustrating for all of us. I am glad you had the fortitude to atleast respond to my post. Thanks
Snapper
Posted by UgottaHaveHOPE on May 20, 2006, at 20:35:28
In reply to Re: Depression - Anxiety Bipolar Illness » SLS, posted by snapper on May 20, 2006, at 15:43:09
First of all, we appreciate you be honest and sharing your true feelings. It sounds like you have been through some challenging times and my heart goes out to you.
Your hope should lie in the fact that there are people on this very message board that have been through the same things or worse for as long as you have or longer and either managed to overcome it or at least deal with it.
Keep posting your innermost thoughts, there are people in here that can help you. Get it out in the open. We care.
This is the end of the thread.
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