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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 11 of 11. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by spriggy on December 29, 2005, at 21:57:11
My parent's have officially both fallen off the deep end. The good part is that I am 2,000 miles away from them, but since my sister is a serious drug addict that we never hear from- I feel this sense of responsibility for them.
My dad has decided that God (yes GOD) has given him permission to smoke marijuana daily for his pain/sickness. I'm not judging anyone who wants to smoke pot- but my dad is a "Christian", He is bipolar (which I think MJ is likely not good for the bp) and he literally buys the stuff from some guy while telling the guy all about Jesus. And yet, he sees nothing wrong with this.
*sigh*
I am not sure what has happened to my mother but it seems like an evil alien has come and invaded her body/mind. She has turned into the MOST bitter/hateful person I think I know. She has severe depression/GAD WILL NOT take medication because " it makes me feel weird" and then makes everyone else miserable around here.
Does depression sometimes show itself in someone being mean and bitter?
She is also a "Christian" and told me to tell God to have a "Merry F'n Christmas!"
She has almost become dillusional- I can have a conversation wtih her on the phone that is totally okay ( I have to walk on egg shells she is sooo sensitive) and then the next day, she will call me and tell me off for making her so upset (when she never acted upset the day before). She then will repeat things I "said" to her that I NEVER said.
She's done this to everyone in my family and now no one will speak to her- she has literally lost EVERY single last friend. She has ran everyone off and then sits and says, " Nobody cares about us.. everyone backstabs you."
It's getting bizarre.
She's attempted suicide twice in the last 15 months so I know she's depressed. She refuses counseling because "she doesn't need it".
My dad is hanging on to life by a thread- he was given 6 months in February but the man seems to be Lazarus.
It's the most chaotic, dysfunctional thing I've ever witnessed in all my life and yet they sit around saying how everyone else is going to hell for not being good Christians.
I am convinced they are both likely insane and they feed off each other- totally codependent and are rotting away in their existence.*BIGGER SIGH*
So my original question- does depression make you mean?
Posted by snapper on December 29, 2005, at 23:27:47
In reply to can depression make you mean/hateful?, posted by spriggy on December 29, 2005, at 21:57:11
It very well can. Just remember as strong as these emotions are, please try to remember that even though you hurt because you know that "they hurt" it is not your responsibility to save them. They must come to the realization that they need help. I am not a psychotherapist and "do NOT play one on TV"....:)) I hope you can some how find a way to let them know of your deep concern for them as well as your safety and thier well being. I know this should probably not be on this board since it is not med related. but I thought I would at least lend my 2 cents of suppport. Good Luck to you and your folks. Do what ever is within your means to stay calm and "sane" Yes it def sounds like some major mental illness going on. I encourage you to gently as you can to encourage them!!
Snapper
Posted by 4WD on December 29, 2005, at 23:49:33
In reply to can depression make you mean/hateful?, posted by spriggy on December 29, 2005, at 21:57:11
Hi Spriggy,
First of all, let go of that responsibility for "saving" them. YOU CAN'T DO IT. You can't fix them or convince them they need fixing. You will just wear yourself out worrying over it. (And I think you've got enough on your plate right now as it it.)
Yes, depression can make people mean. And crazy. I have my Dad as the perfect example. And he never accepted it and never got well and died depressed and miserable. And I have to forgive him for not being willing to help himself. And I have him as an example to make sure that I do everything I can to help myself and not sit in a recliner and die a little every day.
And you have your parents as examples of what happens if you don't get out there and take care of yourself. And part of taking care of yourself is letting go of trying to fix them.
Love,
Marsha
Posted by Racer on December 30, 2005, at 0:16:57
In reply to can depression make you mean/hateful?, posted by spriggy on December 29, 2005, at 21:57:11
It certainly turns me into Mary Sunshine... My poor husband will tell you that yes, depression can turn people mean, bitter, and hateful. And I'm one of those who tries to hold back anything that isn't nice to others -- because I'm afraid of being punished for being angry or hurt -- so if I turn mean enough to snap at people, it can certainly do that and more to people who are willing to express themselves...
With all that's going on for your mother, no wonder she's in pain. Which doesn't give her the right to share quite so much with others, but may reduce her ability to avoid doing so.
If you are really worried, and it sounds as though you should be, I strongly suggest that you call the local Adult Protective Services agency where they live and say that you would like a health and welfare check -- and TELL THEM that your mother has attempted suicide twice recently, that she's been delusional (don't give too many details, just 'she's delusional, but denies it'), and that you strongly believe she needs to be in the hospital until she can be stabilized on drugs. If you tell them, "Oh, she says that I said things I never said," or anything like that, though, that's something that can happen in all sorts of situations and in perfectly normal families. Like you or I have ever met one of those, but hey... Try to keep it to severe symptoms, maybe include phrases like Psychotic Depression, etc. If she was on drugs before, tell them that she already has a psychiatric diagnosis. That does count.
And you know what? You can do it anonymously. They never have to know it was you.
Other than that, though, I hate to tell you that there ain't any more you can do to fix them. They are who they are and ever will be, and it's not your responsibility. And trying to take on that responsibility will make you CRAZY! Then you'll be mean, too. ;-P
Good luck, and I"m sorry you're going through this.
Posted by lara53 on December 30, 2005, at 5:14:02
In reply to Re: can depression make you mean/hateful?, posted by Racer on December 30, 2005, at 0:16:57
Hi Spriggy,
I'm sorry you're still having so much going on.{it's been a while} Embarrased to say that yes I can become mean and hateful and I really am "nice!" Listening to Chris Tomlin blasting in the car and cursing to myself at the same time about other people--not good! Knowing the true meaning of Christmas and hating it this year. Yea I agree with Matt, depression sucks!LOL Lara
Posted by Joslynn on December 30, 2005, at 11:39:11
In reply to can depression make you mean/hateful?, posted by spriggy on December 29, 2005, at 21:57:11
In my opinion, I think my Dad probably had undiagnosed depression most of his life and it made him mean. He self-medicated with alcohol (bad move) and was alcoholic. Always yelling. Now he is sober, but still has a very dark, negative outlook and can have an outburst about the weirdest things. He picks fights with cashiers at the grocery store. Seriously. Other times, he can be nice. He doesn't believe in meds or therapy so won't seek help.
However, chain smoking and drinking ten gallons of coffee is just fine with him! But SSRIs are bad.
I love him, and he yells a lot less than when he was drinking, but I do think the mood disorder makes him mean/angry for no reason at times. I am glad not to be living there.
Posted by Larry Hoover on December 30, 2005, at 12:35:14
In reply to Re: can depression make you mean/hateful?, posted by Racer on December 30, 2005, at 0:16:57
> If you are really worried, and it sounds as though you should be, I strongly suggest that you call the local Adult Protective Services agency where they live and say that you would like a health and welfare check -- and TELL THEM that your mother has attempted suicide twice recently, that she's been delusional (don't give too many details, just 'she's delusional, but denies it'), and that you strongly believe she needs to be in the hospital until she can be stabilized on drugs.
I didn't know what to say, but this is a very very good idea. It didn't occur to me. Thanks, Racer.
By getting your parents "onto the radar" of public health officials, you bring in objective observers. People with training and experience.
Lar
Posted by linkadge on December 30, 2005, at 17:06:46
In reply to can depression make you mean/hateful?, posted by spriggy on December 29, 2005, at 21:57:11
Marajuanna may not be all that bad an idea in my opinion.
It does have certain mood stabalizing qualities, and it can help pain.
I have smoked it before, and I can say that it has helped with a host of psychiatric problems ranging from insomnia, loss of appetite, anhedonia, and pain.
It can actually be less harsh and more tollerable than other things pushed on me. I am only 22, and I have been prescribed more psychiatric drugs than people twice my age.
I don't consider myself a drugie by any means, but marajuanna really needs to be studied more in psychiatry, because there is something there.
I recall last summer, I wasn't sleeping, eating, and vomiting left and right. The antidepressants were generally making things much worse. Effexor made me an anorexic insomniac. A very small quantity of pot helped a lot of symptoms at once.Marajuanna is different from other illegal substances, in that it can actually promote neurogenesis like other antidepressant agents.
Sorry for my rant.Linkadge
Posted by Phillipa on December 30, 2005, at 20:27:55
In reply to Re: can depression make you mean/hateful?, posted by linkadge on December 30, 2005, at 17:06:46
Spriggy I'm so sorry. But glad that Lazarus is still with us. And yes call Social Services. There is nothing you can do to help other than get someone else to evaluate the situation. Love Phillipa
Posted by Racer on December 31, 2005, at 1:12:20
In reply to Re: can depression make you mean/hateful?, posted by linkadge on December 30, 2005, at 17:06:46
The biggest reason pot won't be prescribed any time soon -- besides the idiot in office here in the states -- is that it's smoked. Some of the other drugs, marinol, etc, which are based on pot are another story. They're probably great things. It's the smoking part.
Did you know that smoking pot is much worse for your lungs than smoking cigarettes? Find a way around that, and you'll have a drug to study. (My friend who died in May was drinking stewed pot to combat nausea and some autoimmune symptoms. That's probably an option.)
But I very much doubt that many doctors are happy with the thought of prescribing something which is smoked to their patients. Even those doctors who do prescribe it would probably be happier if they could prescribe the sublingual spray, or something like that.
Posted by Dr. Bob on January 1, 2006, at 17:59:49
In reply to The problem with marijuana » linkadge, posted by Racer on December 31, 2005, at 1:12:20
> The biggest reason pot won't be prescribed any time soon -- besides the idiot in office here in the states -- is that it's smoked...
Sorry to interrupt, but I'd like to redirect follow-ups regarding pot being prescribed to Psycho-Babble Politics. Here's a link:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/poli/20051121/msgs/594060.html
Thanks,
Bob
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