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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 14 of 14. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by ed_uk on August 20, 2005, at 16:10:18
Hi K,
I wanted to ask.......
What effect has medication had on your DID? How have different medications affected it?
Kind regards
#ed
Posted by ed_uk on August 20, 2005, at 16:15:36
In reply to To Kerria, posted by ed_uk on August 20, 2005, at 16:10:18
I was wondering whether meds used to treat PTSD might help DID as well.
~Ed
Posted by kerria on August 21, 2005, at 3:04:45
In reply to Re: To Kerria » ed_uk, posted by ed_uk on August 20, 2005, at 16:15:36
Hi Ed,
before i was so rudely diagnosed at school it was thought that i had schizoprenia. i had times when everything became too difficult and i was hospitalized for suicidal thoughts. There they tried things like
trilifon- i couldn't take because it made me feel bad- like a zombie with a bad sunburn.
i remember trying haldol, melliril. stelazine and feeling so badly on them. Like a zombie and sedated/ in a fog/ sick. i'd usually get better and they would let me go home and i never took any medication for longer than a few weeks because it had too many side effects- made me feel too weird and too sick.once in a private hospital in RI about ten years ago i was having a very bad setback and the drs were determined to find some med to make me better. First they tried stelazine and i hated being on it so much. i remember refusing to take it and doing everything - even hiding under a bed - to avoid it. They forced an injection. i think they were doing med trials with Brown University because students kept coming in to ask me how i felt on the medication and i would become so so upset telling them how much i didn't want to take it. Butler Hospital- a horrible place for me then.
Stelazine didn't help any of my sx.Then they tried Lithium. Lots of it. There were so many blood tests (i hate needles) to get up to the level. Lithium made me so sick- i literally spent mostly all the time that two weeks in the bathroom- it was coming out both ends- i thought i was going to die because i was so sick. They kept increasing the dose- because there was never enough in my blood (Dah).When i went under 95 lbs they finally stopped.
Then they said they would begin ECT and i was terrified that i did everything i could to remember how to 'act normal' - i didn't know i had DID then, i guess i just thought of a part that acted normal - and i was better and they let me go. i went into remission of sx for more than five years with no meds or therapy at all.
Private hospitals are way more dangerous in the US than public because they can force meds and literally do anything to you against your will - public hospitals would never get away with all of that.
Prozac i had for major depression. i took it for three months and it worked. at first i felt a strange tingling in my head but made me feel like i could do anything. It was fun to take, gave so much energy that i felt like a superhero.i went to a strong church that had a way to think and act about everything, believed medicine was wrong. - my past was gone so i was healed- until one day an event- a bad meeting with them - the pastors betrayed who God is and i left that church that day, completely lost mentally. i didn't even know where i lived, where my house was. We had moved to another state and when i left living in the church alter there wasn't anything- complete identity breakdown. i was going to college also then and sx of DID surfaced bigtime and a teacher there told me i had DID.
Since drs have known i have DID i tried zyprexa- just one dose- i didn't like the feeling in my head and it's terrifying to have anything else change when i'm switching so much. i didn't give it a good try but i didn't like it.
and remeron- gave me a migraine. i only took two doses.
Risperdal- lost vision for over an hour forty min after i took it and then had a bad migraine.
Seroquel- wasn't as bad a headache as risperdal but constant headache and sedating.
Depakote- i was able to stay on for a few months because it didn't seem to do anything bad or good to moods except make me unsteady when hiking and take away energy.Paxil made moods change too fast that i was so destablizing. For an hour i felt like i could run a marathon then was so exausted that i couldn't stand up and it went on all day. i think it affected each part in a different way.
my psyDr wanted me to try Klonopin because he had success in giving it to persons with DID. It prevented switching- i wasn't able to take it because i need to switch to function. i went to work and the work person didn't come. it was terrible- i didn't know where anything was or what to do.
my parts weren't free to come, i just stayed the same 'nothing.'Diazapam is what i take now. Not everyday - it's too sedating with the pain meds but it doesn't interfere with my parts and calms me down for therapy or hard times. Lately it makes me feel so depressed.
i've been through so many hard things with trying meds- i didn't realize. i should take diazapam to sleep because i can never get a good night's sleep. it's 4am.
Pain and morphine keeps me awake.Take care,
kerria
Posted by ed_uk on August 21, 2005, at 6:55:56
In reply to Re: To Kerria » ed_uk, posted by kerria on August 21, 2005, at 3:04:45
Hi K :-)
>Trilafon, Haldol, Stelazine.....
You really hated these drugs! Did they make you restless?
>Prozac i had for major depression. i took it for three months and it worked. at first i felt a strange tingling in my head but made me feel like i could do anything. It was fun to take, gave so much energy that i felt like a superhero.
Why did you stop taking it? It sounds like it made you a bit manic.
>Paxil made moods change too fast that i was so destablizing. For an hour i felt like i could run a marathon then was so exausted that i couldn't stand up and it went on all day.........
Have you ever tried Trileptal?
>Pain and morphine keeps me awake........
When are you starting OxyContin again?
Kind regards
~Ed
Posted by kerria on August 21, 2005, at 10:17:50
In reply to Re: To Kerria » kerria, posted by ed_uk on August 21, 2005, at 6:55:56
Hi,
Yes, anti-psychcotics made me feel physically terrible and restless- except Haldol- that just felt terrible.
About hating them so much- i have parts so i don't have the control over behavior that most people do. The drs then didn't know why i was acting that way. (about hiding under a bed) It was probably a child part that took over because we didn't see any other way to get out of taking it.i stopped taking Prozac because i wasn't depressed anymore and i was going to the church where taking psych drugs was a moral issue.
Hopefully the Dr that offered to treat me will prescribe something that takes the pain away and that i can live with better than the Kadian. This is the strangest pain medicine i ever had- it prevents sleep almost, almost makes me feel restless and doesn't work well- there are times in the day when it does but there's no way to know when- it's not dependant on how much i take- even the IR. Anyways, i'm thankful i have something that works at all. i'll tell the new dr what worked best- there's no guarantee what he will give me.
No- i haven't tried trileptal. i'm not trying to take anything i don't absolutely need. It's so hard to have separate parts. Living is a confusing mess but therapy is so difficult. Everything is like torture, hurts so much and medicines only help physical pain. The other meds mostly make things worse.
Drs don't understand how to help my disorder and generally don't believe me when i report on meds effect on me. i geuss they can't help but be distracted by the behavior of my parts which i still am not able to control.take care,
k
Posted by ed_uk on August 21, 2005, at 13:08:15
In reply to Re: To Kerria » ed_uk, posted by kerria on August 21, 2005, at 10:17:50
Hi K,
>i stopped taking Prozac because i wasn't depressed anymore........
Are you depressed at the moment?
~Ed
Posted by Declan on August 21, 2005, at 13:39:03
In reply to Re: To Kerria » ed_uk, posted by kerria on August 21, 2005, at 3:04:45
Hey Kerria
Your experience with (most) psychmeds makes opiates and benzos seem like a piece of cake.
Just getting them prescribed and getting off them when it's all too insulting is the only problem.
Well that's been my experience.Declan
Posted by kerria on August 23, 2005, at 12:51:33
In reply to Re: To Kerria » kerria, posted by ed_uk on August 21, 2005, at 13:08:15
ed,
hi. do you think that the being switched from the oxycontin to the morphine has caused my depression ? i was looking at the psych drug chart to see how different meds act/ uses. i think that oxycontin was an AD also. morphine isn't.
subjectively i thought that it was just a couple of main parts that were depressed (not all of me)but it's very bad now. The physical pain is mostly undercontrol with the morphine but i feel so bad inside who cares.
now i'll have to present myself to this dr in this horrible state. My parts betray me so much of the time- the dr will definately have reservations about precribing anything to me.
- i can't get it together at all.
Every
thing
is
so
hard
to
manage.i don't want to take prozac- or anything else to change me. Being changed from oxycontin to kadian really affected my mood i think. Do you think so?
i'm just looking for a reason- therapy is hard but that's always the case.BTW, i hope you semester at school goes really well as you meet people, enjoy being there more,
k
Posted by kerria on August 23, 2005, at 13:03:42
In reply to Re: To Kerria, posted by Declan on August 21, 2005, at 13:39:03
hi Declan,
it's difficult when meds affect so much- it feels to some people like we're living with so much trouble that if there's one more thing wrong - one more side effect to have- it's magnified .
you're sensitive to meds also, correct? It's so hard to take them when that happens.
i wish that my psychiatrist cared more about me. He gave up being concerned what the heck i take- i think when i had the hard time with Klonopin and wouldn't try abilify and seemed top only half believe the severe migraines caused by risperdal and seroquel. Only half believes my physical pain isn't body memories also.
It's hard being a difficult patient.
you must be an easier easier patient than me :)take care Declan.
Posted by ed_uk on August 23, 2005, at 15:37:21
In reply to Re: To Kerria » ed_uk, posted by kerria on August 23, 2005, at 12:51:33
Hi K,
>...do you think that the being switched from the oxycontin to the morphine has caused my depression?
I think it's quite possible. I do hope you'll feel better when you restart the OxyContin.
Ed x
Posted by kerria on August 23, 2005, at 18:05:05
In reply to Re: To Kerria » kerria, posted by ed_uk on August 23, 2005, at 15:37:21
Ed, hi.
i don't know if that will ever happen. That dr said he's maintain me but that's all.
We're in crisis after a very bad therapy appt . a part came that i hadn't seen/been for a long time. i knew her history as soon as she came today. There were flashbacks the past few days then she was here. Now my thoughts are filled with hers and we're in crisis. No one can help. tears.
tears
My T doesn't know how to help. He doesn't care that he doesn't help.
He says he's a 'contractor.' and if i don't get better to go somewhere else.tears.
It's more than that for me. it's my life. i can't know how to live with knowing these parts. It's horrific stuff and there's so much confusion about who we are now.
i can't believe my T tricked me into letting her come and now no one can help.
tears,
kerria
Posted by ed_uk on August 24, 2005, at 14:17:09
In reply to Re: To Kerria » ed_uk, posted by kerria on August 23, 2005, at 18:05:05
Hi K,
>i don't know if that will ever happen. That dr said he's maintain me but that's all.
I think he might change his mind, I really do. A little *gentle* persuasion might be necessary :-)
I'm so sorry about your appointment. It sounds very painful.
I was meaning to ask you... when you tried clonazepam, what dose did you try?
Ed x
Posted by kerria on August 24, 2005, at 19:41:52
In reply to Re: To Kerria » kerria, posted by ed_uk on August 24, 2005, at 14:17:09
Ed,
i'm sorry that i can't remember exactly- it was a small dose because my dr always starts with small doses. i think i even cut it in half because i was nervous, nervous what it would do to me because it's so hard to have parts.
About the pain med that i need for pain control- i'm shocked that this dr wrote to me. It puzzles me and i can't imagine why except that as an oncologist he knew how much pain i was in and could sense my desperation. He might have thought i was suicidal. i don't think he would change his mind after offering to treat me except if another dr called him to give a negative report about me. i've never had addiction problems but to some drs mental health disorders equals the same thing.
how can i ever persuade any dr to give me a certain med. - especially like oxycontin?- my parts don't co-operate with being a self advocate- it's a hundred times harder for me to do something like that than someone that doesn't have parts in conflict like i do.
i was able to function better with oxycontin than anything else that i tried yet.
The morphine is making me feel so sedated and depressed.It's my past experience that drs don't listen or care what i think especially if it concerns meds. as alwas i don't have a choice- there isn't a way to live with the pain.
take care,
kerria
Posted by ed_uk on August 25, 2005, at 15:41:44
In reply to Re: To Kerria » ed_uk, posted by kerria on August 24, 2005, at 19:41:52
Hi K,
You need support when you go for your appointment. Can you take a friend?
ED
This is the end of the thread.
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