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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 16 of 16. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by wildcard on August 22, 2005, at 19:44:35
>I really hope it has just been the bad week and today topped it off but deep down i am scared that i will have to go back on meds. after quitting effexor xr for approx. 40 days now. I am angry w/ everything but mostly w/ myself!! I have been doing so well and i could slowly see *it* creeping up on me for about a week and 1/2 now and today i feel just plain awful. I know i will feel like such a failure if i go back on meds., although i would NEVER look at someone else that way!! Maybe it's the M monster that will be visiting me in a few days but i'm so worried that will not be whats wrong. *SIGH* I really hope no meds. are needed BUT if so, i do not want 225mg of effexor xr again... I have read about so many combos so any advice?? If i feel like this tomorrow i am calling my doc.. My dx is severe depressive d/o, PTSD and severe social and gen. anxiety d/o.
Posted by jubei on August 22, 2005, at 20:01:41
In reply to Why do i feel like i have failed if i start meds ?, posted by wildcard on August 22, 2005, at 19:44:35
What are you depressed about? I know it probably has a lot to do with what happened in the past, however I will spare you the positive-thinking crap.
The truth is, a drug can't take away what happened to you. Drugs (such as opiates, alcohol, etc.)can alter pain so that it isn't bothersome for a while, but that is all they do really.
Avoiding social situations is a rational thing to do when you have been hurt in social situations. Much how some war veterans try to avoid any loud noises... you are simply trying to avoid something potentially dangerous (or anything that reminds you of a traumatic thing), this of course makes sense for a survivalist being such as a human to do. Unfortunately, many times in life, you might have to experience social things in order to get money, or get further in your life. Drugs don't change this.
If you do decide to go back on drugs, it would be wise to be aware of the potential negativities inherantly involved. I won't advise you to try herbs or other natural remedial devices of that nature, however, a good excercise has always helped stave off some anxiety for a little while.
Hmm, there is another thing you can do, though it may be hard according to how severe you feel. You could simply try to not act depressed. Sort of like an actor in a play or movie. Theoretically, you would actually begin to develop the habit of being happier in life...seeing perhaps some of the great oppurtunities. You could also watch a lot of funny things, it's kind of hard to be depressed when you are laughing :o
Anyway, to sum up everything, I would rather not advise someone to take certain medicines, if only because of the horrible things they did to me. I thought they were the easy way out, oh well.
Posted by 4WD on August 22, 2005, at 20:58:08
In reply to Why do i feel like i have failed if i start meds ?, posted by wildcard on August 22, 2005, at 19:44:35
> >I really hope it has just been the bad week and today topped it off but deep down i am scared that i will have to go back on meds. after quitting effexor xr for approx. 40 days now. I am angry w/ everything but mostly w/ myself!! I have been doing so well and i could slowly see *it* creeping up on me for about a week and 1/2 now and today i feel just plain awful. I know i will feel like such a failure if i go back on meds., although i would NEVER look at someone else that way!! Maybe it's the M monster that will be visiting me in a few days but i'm so worried that will not be whats wrong. *SIGH* I really hope no meds. are needed BUT if so, i do not want 225mg of effexor xr again... I have read about so many combos so any advice?? If i feel like this tomorrow i am calling my doc.. My dx is severe depressive d/o, PTSD and severe social and gen. anxiety d/o.
I know how you feel. I've tried to get off meds at least six times in the past three years and always gone back, always feeling like I somehow just didn't try hard enough or hadn't given it enough time or something happened that made it necessary to go back on now and try to get off again later.
Why did you want to get off meds? Was it that the Effexor made you feel bad? Have you tried other meds? Sometimes I just feel disgusted with the whole merry-go-round and think I don't even know who I am anymore -what's meds and what's me.
It's hard to suggest drugs without knowing your symptoms and what you've tried in the past. There are so many people on the board who are so much more knowledgable in that than I am anyway. But I can offer you my sympathy and tell you that there is no shame in needing to be on meds.
Marsha
Posted by Racer on August 22, 2005, at 21:46:52
In reply to Re: Why do i feel like i have failed if i start meds ?, posted by 4WD on August 22, 2005, at 20:58:08
I'm another who has tried to go off meds in the past, only to have the monster of depression return to bite my posterior. Sucks, huh?
So, uh, why did you want to go off meds? For me, it was usually either breakthrough depression that made it seem silly to keep taking them, or side effects that were no longer worth it. Something like that for you? Or were you getting the "just don't be depressed/what do you have to be depressed about" routine, either from others or from yourself?
Either way, it might be worth asking yourself why you hold yourself to a different standard from others? If you wouldn't think less of someone for having to take anti-depressants, why do you think that you somehow shouldn't? Despite what some people still say, research has shown changes to the brain associated with depression, as well as genetic predisposition to depression. Depression, no matter what the Calvinistic belief system may suggest, is a real, honest to goodness, physical illness that affects moods. If you had another chronic disease, something that could be quantified, like Diabetes Mellitus, would you feel as though you'd failed for having to continue taking insulin? There is nothing shameful about taking antidepressants for your chronic depression.
Here's another question, though: you say you've been off Effexor for 40 days? Depending on how fast your taper was, this might just be a left-over effect of the discontinuation syndrome. If you really and truly do not want to be on meds, you might try to gut it out for a bit longer, see if it fades.
I hope it does get better for you, with or without drugs. And I hope you feel better very soon.
Posted by wildcard on August 22, 2005, at 22:10:55
In reply to Re: Why do i feel like i have failed if i start meds ?, posted by 4WD on August 22, 2005, at 20:58:08
thx---i quit b/c i felt more irritable,numb,unmotivated,etc...and thought that if i truly focused on the assault that seems to have triggered all of this, i wld get better. I have been on prozac,paxil,zoloft,lexapro,wellbutrn,effexor,...i cant think if thats all rt. now. Wellbutrin worked ok but i wasnt on it long..i was more agitated than normal. I wasn't on a benzo then though?? I really want to try and stay off the meds but i don't want to become severely depressed again. I really hope it is stress added up plus hormones but i know there is a chance that it is my illness and i know that if it were *mind over matter*, i wld have already been better a long time ago. just one of those days...
Posted by lynn970 on August 22, 2005, at 22:17:57
In reply to Re: Why do i feel like i have failed if i start me, posted by Racer on August 22, 2005, at 21:46:52
Posted by wildcard on August 22, 2005, at 22:24:50
In reply to Re: Why do i feel like i have failed if i start me, posted by Racer on August 22, 2005, at 21:46:52
hey Racer...glad to see u back. i quit the effexor cold..no tapering. and depression runs in my family-both sides-so yeah..it sucks. i don't know why i feel *guilty* for being depressed and taking meds. but i am so compassionate towards others and have studied both the genetic and behavioral sides and agree 100% that depression is an illness like cancer,diabetes,etc..i guess i really thought i cld. be ok w/o the meds.. maybe b/c the numbness has worn off, it hurts to feel. i just want a life back. existing isn't enough anymore. maybe i'm overstressed and it's just built up...i dont know...
Posted by lynn970 on August 22, 2005, at 22:37:11
In reply to Re: Why do i feel like i have failed if i start me » Racer, posted by wildcard on August 22, 2005, at 22:24:50
wildcard, I have stopped the meds about 5 times in my life. I think many of us who have depression have tried to get off the meds. Its ok. You are not a failure if you get back on the meds.
Posted by wildcard on August 22, 2005, at 22:39:36
In reply to Re: Why do i feel like i have failed if i start me, posted by lynn970 on August 22, 2005, at 22:37:11
Posted by DoYouKnowHim? on August 23, 2005, at 1:20:17
In reply to thx...nice 2 know im not alone.. (nm) » lynn970, posted by wildcard on August 22, 2005, at 22:39:36
Why do you feel like you are a failure by taking meds? Because you are no longer totally in control. You on depending on something else to help you.
I struggled with this issue a lot. Finally my Sunday school teacher told me God gives the docs to make these meds to help people. Only then did I let it go.
Posted by SLS on August 23, 2005, at 6:01:24
In reply to Racer, I like you. (nm), posted by lynn970 on August 22, 2005, at 22:17:57
Posted by SLS on August 23, 2005, at 6:37:23
In reply to Why do i feel like i have failed if i start meds ?, posted by wildcard on August 22, 2005, at 19:44:35
Hi.
Hang in there. Whether you need meds or not, everything will turn out OK.
The risk for relapse is highest during the first 4 months after discontinuing an antidepressant. For me, it was only two months.
Depression and anxiety disorders are diseases of the brain, the organ responsible for your thoughts and feelings. The degree to which psychotherapy effectively treats these conditions is variable, but becomes less and less effective the longer the episodes are left unmitigated and the more episodes that one experiences as one ages.
Even while taking medication, one might experience brief episodes of the reappearance of symptoms of illness. It is possible that this is just temporary. If it continues beyond two weeks, however, you then meet the criteria for a relapse, for which it might be best to restart the medication that you had successfully responded to.
About the need for medication for mental illness in general, it can very definitely make one feel impotent and incompetent. There is a sense of powerlessness that comes with the reliance upon any treatment that is necessary to maintain health, especially when it seems that so many people around you do fine without it.
The analogy that I hear most often used to compare to mental illness is that of insulin-dependent diabetes. Sufferers of this condition must carry around with them a syringe and bottles of insulin with which they must inject themselves several times a day to remain healthy. They are also powerless in that they are tethered to a medication and can't simply "think" their way out of it.
One thing interesting occurs if we explore the concept of powerlessness for both illnesses. We see that it is often not absolute. Both are exacerbated by stress. Likewise, both can often be ameliorated by removing stress and by promoting health as much as the boundaries of the illnesses allow. For instance, removing stress can reduce insulin resistance. Diet can reduce the amount of insulin needed or the frequency of injection. Likewise, the reduction of psychosocial stress can allow the medication to work better and reduce the risk of relapse or medication breakthrough. In addition, counseling or psychotherapy can help promote more positive and constructive thoughts and feelings and seize back some power by not allowing the illness to control completely the way you think, feel, and behave. The type of therapy will be dependent on the specific illnesses being treated. To increase one's ability to cope with their illness despite the need for continued drug-treatment is power. That there exists effective treatments for illness and that they are afforded to you is also power.
Without treatment, you would be very much more powerless. Try to recognize and seize those resources you have available to you and you will no longer be powerless.
You might just be having a bad week.
:-)
- Scott> >I really hope it has just been the bad week and today topped it off but deep down i am scared that i will have to go back on meds. after quitting effexor xr for approx. 40 days now. I am angry w/ everything but mostly w/ myself!! I have been doing so well and i could slowly see *it* creeping up on me for about a week and 1/2 now and today i feel just plain awful. I know i will feel like such a failure if i go back on meds., although i would NEVER look at someone else that way!! Maybe it's the M monster that will be visiting me in a few days but i'm so worried that will not be whats wrong. *SIGH* I really hope no meds. are needed BUT if so, i do not want 225mg of effexor xr again... I have read about so many combos so any advice?? If i feel like this tomorrow i am calling my doc.. My dx is severe depressive d/o, PTSD and severe social and gen. anxiety d/o.
Posted by Nickengland on August 23, 2005, at 7:33:23
In reply to Why do i feel like i have failed if i start meds ?, posted by wildcard on August 22, 2005, at 19:44:35
Hi Abbey
Just a thought, as I have no experience with longterm clonnazepam use myself, but I think I remember reading on here and from somewhere else, that out of all the benzodiazepines, if you're taking clonazepam on a regular basis, this can have an effect that will in some cases have the potential to make you more vulnerable to clinical depression. Basically, in some cases longterm use in itself may cause depression like symtoms. I would suspect in a case like that it would good to have an option to take an antidepressant along side it.
Hopefully some others who soley take clonazepam may be able to offer some more help...
Scotts advice though was very impressive as always, and it could just be a particular bad week, with which hopefully the problem should clear up by itself along with the depression :-)
Kind regards
Nick
Posted by Empathy on August 23, 2005, at 9:37:43
In reply to Why do i feel like i have failed if i start meds ?, posted by wildcard on August 22, 2005, at 19:44:35
Please don't feel like you have failed if you need to go back on the meds. The meds are there to help us. I am off of a lot of stuff right now - but I reserve the right to go back on all of it again if I need to. Look at this way, 40 days off was a nice break for your body... now perhaps your body is ready to restart the meds.
Posted by lynn970 on August 23, 2005, at 16:54:31
In reply to Why do i feel like i have failed if i start meds ?, posted by wildcard on August 22, 2005, at 19:44:35
How do you send a message via email? I did it once before, but forgot.
I know we don't hit "Submit your post"
Thanks wildcard!!! If you need, holla!!
Posted by Jedi on August 25, 2005, at 2:18:54
In reply to Why do i feel like i have failed if i start meds ?, posted by wildcard on August 22, 2005, at 19:44:35
Hi Wildcard,
I hate to be a MAOI bigot but if your depression is atypical with social and generalized anxiety, Nardil is still the gold standard. I have been on Effexor and several SSRIs for fairly long trials. Even though these meds would take the edge off of the depression, I believe I would then suffer from a Serotonin Apathy Syndrome.
In the past I had been highly motivated to achieve financially and otherwise. You should have seen my garage after six months on a SSRI. You couldn't walk through it. Please don't feel bad about taking medication for your illness. I would love not to have to take the meds. You tackle what's put in front of you.
Good luck and be WELL.
Jedi
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