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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 14 of 14. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by AMD on May 21, 2005, at 18:52:54
On Wednesday night I went out, drank a lot of alcohol, did some cocaine, and ended up at my apartment with two strangers and /no/ idea how they got there.
I only remember things in scattered way. But ... they involved:
(a) Getting randomly naked and running around my apartment
(b) For some reason taking my medicines and putting them in different bottles. E.g., my Geodon is gone (for all I know I took it all), mySeroquel was on the floor, my Celexa and Lamictal I'd mixed up in a single bottle.
(c) Trying to sleep in my roommate's bed (she was gone), adjusting the clock for some reason, and somehow unwiring her TV.
(d) Running up the street to find my drug dealer, ringing the door of his apartment, and running back down to my apartment.
(e) Waking up on the couch some time later, naked, under my blanket (thank god), and to the sound of my roommate talking to her friend and reiterating how sick she was to her stomach about all this and might stay in a hotel. I also heard her say I had apparently opened up a small souvenir bottle of alcohol she'd brought home from Miami.
*** An aside: I first wrote "Making," not "Waking," above, and have been making (yes making!) these types of errors since I woke up Thursday. :( ***
(f) Finding I'd spent over $300 on cocaine and didn't have any of it left, yet not having a bloody nose nor bloody phlegm, which makes me suspect I didn't do much of it.
So, in light of all this, I wonder: was this a manic episode, or could this have been solely the work of cocaine and alcohol?
If it was a manic episode, does that make me bipolar I, even if it may have been cocaine induced?
Finally ... my cognition is /definitely/ off. It's been two days, and I'm still having trouble writing each sentence coherently. I misspell words often, words I normally spell with ease. And worst of all, I feel like I'm in some sort of coma-like state -- I don't feel fully "awake."
Does the fact I blacked out mean I'll be forever unable to store new memories or quickly recall old ones? Does blacking out leave a permanent mark?
Am I doomed to feel like this forever now? Are some of these side-effects of Zyprexa, which I just began taking Thursday night?
Thanks for any insight. I am very sad and depressed, with a dry mouth, acne coming, and generally just feeling uncomfortable in my skin.
amd
Posted by Phillipa on May 21, 2005, at 20:26:41
In reply to Is this mania? Help, because I am not well, posted by AMD on May 21, 2005, at 18:52:54
AMD, haven't you done this before? If I'm wrong please forgive me as at times I get confused with who everyone is. That is really a scary thing that happened to you. I do know that if you are heading in the direction of alcholism people have "black-outs" which go away when you stop drinking. I have no experience with cocaine. You need to be careful about your drug abuse as you could injure yourself or even get arrested for something you're not aware you're doing at the time. I feel for you. You have a long battle ahead of you. You must have a pdoc. Level with him and ask him to help you get the proper tx. I'm so glad you're safe. Please stay that way. Keep posting or Babble others when you have the urges to drink or use. I wish I could be of more help. Fondly, Phillipa
Posted by AMD on May 21, 2005, at 21:13:32
In reply to Re: Is this mania? Help, because I am not well » AMD, posted by Phillipa on May 21, 2005, at 20:26:41
Your reply is helpful in itself. Thank you, Phillipa.
I just broke down crying to my parents after I realized how close I am to being unemployed, homeless, and alone. I am on a slow, downward spiral into oblivion.
I feel as if my head is spinning: I feel sick, confused, unfocused ... I hope this passes. I also feel a slight nervous tic under my eyebrow, it's weird.
Is this from the drugs, alcohol? Or from the Zyprexa I just started?
Argh ... I can't wait until all these poisons are out of my body!
amd
Posted by SLS on May 21, 2005, at 21:21:02
In reply to Re: Is this mania? Help, because I am not well » Phillipa, posted by AMD on May 21, 2005, at 21:13:32
> Your reply is helpful in itself. Thank you, Phillipa.
>
> I just broke down crying to my parents after I realized how close I am to being unemployed, homeless, and alone. I am on a slow, downward spiral into oblivion.
>
> I feel as if my head is spinning: I feel sick, confused, unfocused ... I hope this passes. I also feel a slight nervous tic under my eyebrow, it's weird.
>
> Is this from the drugs, alcohol? Or from the Zyprexa I just started?
>
> Argh ... I can't wait until all these poisons are out of my body!
>
> amd
Hi AMD.I'm not sure what to make of what happened to you, except that mania can certainly account for it. You should really discuss this with your doctor. On the positive side, Zyprexa is an excellent drug to attack an acute manic episode. It can help one to think more clearly and reduce manic thoughts and behaviors.
Please continue to post as frequently as you feel the need to. I can guarantee that your memory functions will remain intact after all of this. Mania can often wreak havoc with memory, and can cause a "blackout" of things that occured during the manic episode.
Good luck.
- Scott
Posted by AMD on May 21, 2005, at 21:29:22
In reply to Re: Is this mania? Help, because I am not well » AMD, posted by SLS on May 21, 2005, at 21:21:02
I'm really interested to see if I recover from this one. My thoughts are racing right now, and I'm having trouble concentrating on a single task. My mind is wandering. And I still feel slightly blue. More mania?
amd
Posted by Phillipa on May 21, 2005, at 21:35:50
In reply to Re: Is this mania? Help, because I am not well » SLS, posted by AMD on May 21, 2005, at 21:29:22
I'm so sorry you feel so bad. Scott had some good advice for you and I know he is more familiar with what mania can cause. Fondly, Phillipa
Posted by Nixon on May 21, 2005, at 21:43:32
In reply to Is this mania? Help, because I am not well, posted by AMD on May 21, 2005, at 18:52:54
> On Wednesday night I went out, drank a lot of alcohol, did some cocaine, and ended up at my apartment with two strangers and /no/ idea how they got there.
>
> I only remember things in scattered way. But ... they involved:
>
> (a) Getting randomly naked and running around my apartment
>
> (b) For some reason taking my medicines and putting them in different bottles. E.g., my Geodon is gone (for all I know I took it all), mySeroquel was on the floor, my Celexa and Lamictal I'd mixed up in a single bottle.
>
> (c) Trying to sleep in my roommate's bed (she was gone), adjusting the clock for some reason, and somehow unwiring her TV.
>
> (d) Running up the street to find my drug dealer, ringing the door of his apartment, and running back down to my apartment.
>
> (e) Waking up on the couch some time later, naked, under my blanket (thank god), and to the sound of my roommate talking to her friend and reiterating how sick she was to her stomach about all this and might stay in a hotel. I also heard her say I had apparently opened up a small souvenir bottle of alcohol she'd brought home from Miami.
>
> *** An aside: I first wrote "Making," not "Waking," above, and have been making (yes making!) these types of errors since I woke up Thursday. :( ***
>
> (f) Finding I'd spent over $300 on cocaine and didn't have any of it left, yet not having a bloody nose nor bloody phlegm, which makes me suspect I didn't do much of it.
>
> So, in light of all this, I wonder: was this a manic episode, or could this have been solely the work of cocaine and alcohol?
>
> If it was a manic episode, does that make me bipolar I, even if it may have been cocaine induced?
>
> Finally ... my cognition is /definitely/ off. It's been two days, and I'm still having trouble writing each sentence coherently. I misspell words often, words I normally spell with ease. And worst of all, I feel like I'm in some sort of coma-like state -- I don't feel fully "awake."
>
> Does the fact I blacked out mean I'll be forever unable to store new memories or quickly recall old ones? Does blacking out leave a permanent mark?
>
> Am I doomed to feel like this forever now? Are some of these side-effects of Zyprexa, which I just began taking Thursday night?
>
> Thanks for any insight. I am very sad and depressed, with a dry mouth, acne coming, and generally just feeling uncomfortable in my skin.
>
> amd
>
>This is going to sound simplistic but get to the Dr. who prescribed you the Zyprexa as soon as you can and be honest with him or her. That seems like the best course of action for you. And of course stay away from any more Cocaine. Good Luck.
Posted by AMD on May 21, 2005, at 22:08:19
In reply to Re: Is this mania? Help, because I am not well » AMD, posted by Nixon on May 21, 2005, at 21:43:32
I'm moving back to California tomorrow to discuss with my boss my future with the company (he promises I'm not fired and probably just wants to make sure I'm staying OK ... but I'm still worried). Wish me luck. In the meantime, I'm freaking out that I have symptoms of a stroke where you intend to type one word but end up typing another. Could this be a side-effect of the medication as well? Or would this only be a sequela from stroke or another brain problem?
amd
Posted by Nixon on May 21, 2005, at 22:25:07
In reply to Re: Is this mania? Help, because I am not well » Nixon, posted by AMD on May 21, 2005, at 22:08:19
> I'm moving back to California tomorrow to discuss with my boss my future with the company (he promises I'm not fired and probably just wants to make sure I'm staying OK ... but I'm still worried). Wish me luck. In the meantime, I'm freaking out that I have symptoms of a stroke where you intend to type one word but end up typing another. Could this be a side-effect of the medication as well? Or would this only be a sequela from stroke or another brain problem?
>
> amdI do wish you luck. Again, a stroke can only be diagnosed by a Physician in person. Try to relax and not correlate everything you feel to a major health crises. BUT IF YOU FEEL AS THOUGH YOU NEED A DR. GO TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM.
Posted by Phillipa on May 21, 2005, at 22:33:04
In reply to Re: Is this mania? Help, because I am not well, posted by Nixon on May 21, 2005, at 22:25:07
Amen. Fondly, Phillipa
Posted by Larry Hoover on May 21, 2005, at 22:38:52
In reply to Re: Is this mania? Help, because I am not well » Nixon, posted by AMD on May 21, 2005, at 22:08:19
> I'm moving back to California tomorrow to discuss with my boss my future with the company (he promises I'm not fired and probably just wants to make sure I'm staying OK ... but I'm still worried). Wish me luck. In the meantime, I'm freaking out that I have symptoms of a stroke where you intend to type one word but end up typing another. Could this be a side-effect of the medication as well? Or would this only be a sequela from stroke or another brain problem?
>
> amdThis would be a good time to do those breathing exercises.
You said you don't know what became of some of your meds.
I'm not the least bit surprised you're feeling out of sorts.
I really don't think you've had any sort of neurological incident. You binged. You pay for binges, in the days that follow.
You've got to give some serious thought to creating safe spaces. It starts with a certain attitude, like child-proofing a home. Maybe you need to take all unused meds back to the pharmacy for disposal. Maybe you have to change the people who you spend time with (choosing only safe people). If you don't know such people, maybe it's time to find some.
You have to do things differently, so you can come up with different results.
The others have given you good advice, to get stable on the new med, and talk to your caregiver. Ask for assistance in learning how to deal with this binge behaviour. You ask us for help. Bring your doctor into your circle of confidence.
Good luck,
Lar
Posted by AMD on May 22, 2005, at 0:17:39
In reply to Re: Is this mania? Help, because I am not well » AMD, posted by Larry Hoover on May 21, 2005, at 22:38:52
Thanks for your advice, all. I will try to be calm and hope that I'll get better as the days transpire. I feel sad today, particularly because I don't have the concentration needed to perform my job well, and I am going to need it badly this week. I only hope my neurotransmitters equalize before my return to the office Monday. Fingers crossed.
On the other hand, I will try to be upbeat and think positive things: such as, my drinking days are behind me, not ahead of me, and I have good things to look forward to, not more bad ones (at least in terms of the things I have the power to control).
Welcome back, Lar!
amd
Posted by chemist on May 22, 2005, at 3:27:36
In reply to Is this mania? Help, because I am not well, posted by AMD on May 21, 2005, at 18:52:54
hello amd, chemist here...i am at the tail-end of a string of very sage and caring posts: i will do my best to measure up....may i suggest that perhaps your worry - continual and quite pronounced - about memory loss, neuronal damage, and so forth is detracting (if that word is appropriate) from the issue (singular) that, in my opinion (and, i note very strongly, in the posted opinions of many others), must be addressed: that first cocktail.
it is easy for me to assert that alcohol is the stepping-off point, and i have noted it in other posts: it does not resonate with me. being a loudmouth jerk is my specialty, and i note that substances are not required for emergence.
strangers in your apartment == no good, unless it's a dinner party with some guests you do not know, or some such. we know this. naked depends on the situation, and given your recollection (naked, drug dealer, awakening naked), it is likely that you treated your neighbors to a good old fashioned streaking. your call.
manic? SLS speaks the truth about zyprexa, and hardly needs my input: i would think it would render any stimulation null...
finally: as you are aware, i am not a medical doctor. i am opinionated. i am also frequently wrong. regardless, i will answer your question vis a vis cocaine/alcohol or manic episode: yes.
based upon the increasing number of posts that indicate that your ``inappropriate'' (???? pardon the wording, please, i am at a loss and do not mean to denigrate at all) behaviour and intake of substances has been on the rise as of late, it sounds like a cycle that is peaking, to me....be well, and check your email please....yours, c
> On Wednesday night I went out, drank a lot of alcohol, did some cocaine, and ended up at my apartment with two strangers and /no/ idea how they got there.
>
> I only remember things in scattered way. But ... they involved:
>
> (a) Getting randomly naked and running around my apartment
>
> (b) For some reason taking my medicines and putting them in different bottles. E.g., my Geodon is gone (for all I know I took it all), mySeroquel was on the floor, my Celexa and Lamictal I'd mixed up in a single bottle.
>
> (c) Trying to sleep in my roommate's bed (she was gone), adjusting the clock for some reason, and somehow unwiring her TV.
>
> (d) Running up the street to find my drug dealer, ringing the door of his apartment, and running back down to my apartment.
>
> (e) Waking up on the couch some time later, naked, under my blanket (thank god), and to the sound of my roommate talking to her friend and reiterating how sick she was to her stomach about all this and might stay in a hotel. I also heard her say I had apparently opened up a small souvenir bottle of alcohol she'd brought home from Miami.
>
> *** An aside: I first wrote "Making," not "Waking," above, and have been making (yes making!) these types of errors since I woke up Thursday. :( ***
>
> (f) Finding I'd spent over $300 on cocaine and didn't have any of it left, yet not having a bloody nose nor bloody phlegm, which makes me suspect I didn't do much of it.
>
> So, in light of all this, I wonder: was this a manic episode, or could this have been solely the work of cocaine and alcohol?
>
> If it was a manic episode, does that make me bipolar I, even if it may have been cocaine induced?
>
> Finally ... my cognition is /definitely/ off. It's been two days, and I'm still having trouble writing each sentence coherently. I misspell words often, words I normally spell with ease. And worst of all, I feel like I'm in some sort of coma-like state -- I don't feel fully "awake."
>
> Does the fact I blacked out mean I'll be forever unable to store new memories or quickly recall old ones? Does blacking out leave a permanent mark?
>
> Am I doomed to feel like this forever now? Are some of these side-effects of Zyprexa, which I just began taking Thursday night?
>
> Thanks for any insight. I am very sad and depressed, with a dry mouth, acne coming, and generally just feeling uncomfortable in my skin.
>
> amd
>
>
Posted by Larry Hoover on May 22, 2005, at 6:42:16
In reply to Re: Is this mania? Help, because I am not well » Larry Hoover, posted by AMD on May 22, 2005, at 0:17:39
> Thanks for your advice, all. I will try to be calm and hope that I'll get better as the days transpire. I feel sad today, particularly because I don't have the concentration needed to perform my job well, and I am going to need it badly this week. I only hope my neurotransmitters equalize before my return to the office Monday. Fingers crossed.
>
> On the other hand, I will try to be upbeat and think positive things: such as, my drinking days are behind me, not ahead of me, and I have good things to look forward to, not more bad ones (at least in terms of the things I have the power to control).
>
> Welcome back, Lar!
>
> amdSomething just occurred to me, and its probably because I'm calendar-challenged, but it there a periodicity to your binges?
Have you noticed a pattern? Have you noticed a binge might follow e.g. a contact with your boss? A client?
I'm just wondering, but this is the sort of thing that you need to figure out.
These binges don't just come out of nowhere, even if you feel like they do. They are triggered. You need to identify the triggers.
That first drink. How does it seem to get past your lips so easily? Why do you let it?
Tough questions. Very important questions.
Lar
This is the end of the thread.
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