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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 5 of 5. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Spriggy on January 28, 2005, at 18:03:06
I am sooo at my wit's end and feel like I'm in a hopeless pit.
I shared this before but I've had a few panic attacks triggered by a traumatic event.
Right after my dad's diagnosis (dying), I went 4 days with NO sleep, not eating, and could generally not function on a normal level at all. It was so bizarre. I have ever since felt a brain "fog" but it's not just a calming thing, it's a terrifying thing.
I feel SOO abnormal.I felt this way for those four days, begin to get better and functioning again.
My dr. put me on Lexapro. Now here I am 4 weeks later and I am getting SO MUCH WORSE.
I have always been a very stable person. I'm not overly dramatic or emotional.
This is not me. I am CONSTANTLY in this state of weird, detached, head fogginess that is so weird to explain but it's VERY uncomfortable and downright terrifying.
I go from feeling almost a slight euphoria to the most utter, helpless, deepest, darkest depression I have ever experienced.
I am a born again Christian and believe strongly in Jesus and the Bible. And yet, through this, I can't even figure out how to pray anymore, and am even questioning God's existence.
My thoughts are irrational and extreme. I can't get my mind to stop racing but at the same time, it feels like it's in a coma.
I can't explain this but I honestly think if something doesn't happen soon, I will not survive this.
I have never felt so helpless or desperate in my life.
I saw a psychologist yesterday who wants me to taper off the Lexapro. She is concerned I am having some weird reaction to it.
She also thinks I am experiencing post traumatic stress from my dad and grieving.
She is convinced I am not crazy or bipolar or anything along those lines.. but I certainly do not feel like myself, or "sane" or normal or rational.Could this really be a reaction to the Lexapro?
God help me.
Posted by Spriggy on January 28, 2005, at 18:19:21
In reply to I am getting worse, posted by Spriggy on January 28, 2005, at 18:03:06
I should note a few more things:
1) I go flip floppin' here between brief (minutes) moments of euphoria back to feeling this weird head fog, terrifying, feeling.. then on to extreme depression.
2) I had a very similar reaction two years ago when I was given a medicine for vomitting called Compazine.
That medicine totally wigged out for days and it is that same feeling.
Posted by JaneB on January 28, 2005, at 18:19:36
In reply to I am getting worse, posted by Spriggy on January 28, 2005, at 18:03:06
She may be right. Your doctor may not be allowing you to grieve appropriately and Lexapro does have a history of causing "weirdness." I had more panic on it than off it. I could have written your post 5 years ago. I will be praying for you.
Posted by holymama on January 29, 2005, at 23:09:24
In reply to Re: I am getting worse » Spriggy, posted by JaneB on January 28, 2005, at 18:19:36
Spriggy,
I too had some weird reactions to Lexapro, causing me to be labeled bipolar. I went totally manic on it at 20 mg, but at 15 mg I would fluctuate back and forth between extremes of mood. In fact, even months after adding a mood stabilizer, my moods were much more extreme (high and suicidal) than they had ever been off the drug, and I ended up in a psychiatric hospital. I've since gotten myself off the lexapro and am doing much better.
I think we have some things in common. I'm a mom of 3 young ones, and I'm a budding Christian (I read the Bible every day and am trying to find a church). I too find it really hard to stay spiritually strong when depressed/and or having mood swings. It's something I'd be interested to hear more from you about as you work through this problem you are having, if you'd be willing to share. I'm trying to figure out how to stay connected with God with my bipolar mood swings(I still have mood swings even on meds).
Keep in touch. I believe what you are going through is a medication reaction, and it might help you to get off the lexapro, but SLOWLY. Maybe another antidepressant could help you, and they can start one while tapering you off the lexapro. It is tortuous going through severe mood swings like you are going through right now, and you are grieving on top of it. This will pass, I promise. Remember that God doesn't give us more than we can bear, and ask God for strength a million times a day if you have to.
~~Autumn~~
Posted by Spriggy on January 30, 2005, at 13:35:14
In reply to Re: I am getting worse, posted by holymama on January 29, 2005, at 23:09:24
Thank you for your replies..
I spent 4 days tapering down ( I was on a low dose to begin with) and then decided last night to just stop it cold turkey.
I slept like a baby (minus the wetting myself thing, ha), but have been a bit "dizzy and almost drugged" today.
It seems like I am feeling some relief from the extreme weird head feeling that I felt ALL the time on the Lexapro. I still have it, but it's not as severe. I think I'm learning to just pray through those moments and just trust God to get me through this.
I believe this has been one of the most difficult spiritual tests of my life. God obviously allowed this for a purpose and I believe He saw some things in my life that needed to be "pruned."
I have never allowed Him such access to me (being vulnerable and broken) as I have through this. So although this was the most horrific experience I've gone through, at the same time, I know it's grown me to a deeper, more intimate walk with God.
There is something about being desperate that takes you straight to God's throne.
I am just believing that once this stuff is fully out of my system, I will regain some normalcy again.
Keep pressing on and striving to seek God. He'll show up and answer you (even if it's not healing, he'll give you strength to get through it. ).
If you need a friend, I am here!
This is the end of the thread.
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